Chapter 61 #3
The morning light paves the way as we go, but I hardly pay attention. I at least got Alex to talk to me, and if I kept that up, maybe he’d listen to my apologies next. I’d tried several times since our first night, but every time I started, he cut me off.
“The wolf would be our kid!”
The exclamation makes me pause as I turn to meet Alex’s glowing gaze.
“What?”
“The kid’s wolf. It’ll be our own,” he says as he rushes forward. “Julian and Aiden can raise their kid as theirs, and when their wolf comes along, we’ll love it as our own.”
“But they won’t get their wolf until they’re twelve.”
“Who cares?” he says with excitement that is as infectious as he is. “That kid will be ours too. We’ll love them and treasure them, and the wolf will come when they come. And when they do, we’ll love them as well.”
I shift my gaze over his face, lingering on the smile that makes him glow from the inside out.
I feel my lips twitch at the corners. “I guess you really like kids?”
“Like?” he gawks as he bounces on the spot.
“I love them! They’re so happy, and they live without a care in the world.
I’m so jealous of them. They do whatever they want, whenever they want to, knowing they don’t have to worry about it and throw a tantrum when they don’t get their way.
I love them for the exact reasons Julian hates them, but I can’t help it.
Kids are awesome,” he coos as he drifts off into his own world.
“We’re going to be the best parents ever! ”
It’s like a silver bullet to my heart.
“You still want that with me?” I can’t help but speak the question aloud, and I don’t regret it even as it steals his smile away. “We’re talking about raising children when you can barely look at me.”
Alex flinches as if my words struck him. He parts his lips as he stares at me, but I can’t console him when the last thing he wants is me.
“It’s fine,” I sigh as I try to force my frustration away.
Now isn’t the time to push him, not when things between us are so fragile. I turn back to our path, but Alex grabs my hand before I can take a single step.
“I do,” he states as he pulls me to face him. Heart frozen, I can do nothing but stare as I meet his lost gaze. “I want to have children and grow old, and I want—” he pauses as he peers at me. “I want to do it with you, Max.”
“I want that too, Alex,” I whisper, almost begging as I risk stepping closer. “Does that mean … do you forgive me?” I ask the words even already knowing the answer, so the way he tenses doesn’t surprise me. That doesn’t mean it hurts any less.
“It’s …” he pauses as his shoulders slump. “It still hurts, Max. It hurts.”
“I know,” I mumble, voice breaking as I struggle to keep myself on my feet. “And I know it’s my fault. I made a promise, and I broke it. And I’m so sorry, Alex.” When he looks away, I risk a step forward. “I know you can’t forgive me right now, but … do you want to?”
I’m not sure I even want the answer to this question when it scares me more than anything else in the world, but I need to hear it. Alex opens and closes his mouth while his heart hammers before it settles into a flat line that stokes my fears.
“I—” he takes a deep breath before bringing his eyes to mine. “Yes. I want to, and I know that I will. I just … I don’t know how, Max.”
“We can figure that out together,” I promise as an avalanche of relief crashes through me. I close the space between us until I can take his hands in mine. “Let me fix us.”
“It’s not that simple, Max.” He tries to step back, but I keep my grip on him firm. I wouldn’t allow him to leave, not now.
“It is,” I say, pressing my forehead to his.
I close my eyes as our bond flickers to life, threatening to burn the way it’s meant to.
“Let me fix us. Baby, just give me a chance, even if it’s just for this week.
I’ll show you how much I truly love you.
” I press a kiss to his forehead. “Treasure you.” I lay the next one on his cheek, making him whimper as he leans into me. “Need you.”
I trace my lips over his skin, moving slowly, letting devotion guide the way until they brush against his lips, and Alex shudders as he sucks in a sharp breath.
“Sweetheart, I love you, and I’m sorry,” I whisper as I open my eyes to meet his. “Give me a chance to show you that I mean it.”
Those familiar eyes shine with unshed tears and hesitant love as they stare back at me.
“Okay,” he mumbles, quietly at first, before he swallows and adds, “We can try.”
“Really?” I breathe, afraid to hope.
He nods, a small smile tugging at his lips. “It doesn’t have to be just this week … We can try for real, Max.”
The world seems to stop around me as I peer at my mate, not quite believing my ears.
I stare at him, not blinking until the tears that fill my eyes force me to.
“Oh, Max,” he whispers as he takes my face in his hands, and Goddess help me … the touch is so sweet.
“I thought I lost you,” I admit in a broken sob. “I didn’t think that we’d ever—you only asked me for one thing, and I let you down.”
Alex’s eyes swim with tears as he looks at me, and I know he’s hurting in ways I can’t even imagine, and yet he’s still giving me a chance.
“I’m so sorry, Alex.”
“I know you are, Max,” he whispers while his thumbs swipe away my tears. A shaky smile forces his lips apart. “And we’ll be okay. I … I don’t know how, but we’ll find a way. I want to forgive you, and I will, because more than anything … I still love you.”
I stare at Alex, wondering if this is a fever dream or a cruel hex Katerina put on me, but when he hugs me, he feels real—warm and soft like only my Alex could be. I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder as relief drowns me with my own tears.
Alex presses a gentle kiss atop my mark, and I shatter.
“I—I love you, too,” I whisper when I eventually find my words again.
Alex chuckles as he draws back and nudges my head up. “Good. Now, stop crying. You look like a big baby.”
I chuckle, but it’s a snotty mess that Alex cleans up without a care. He scolds me for my blubbering, but there’s still a smile on his face that lights me up from the inside because it’s real.
“I’ll make this better,” I vow, and Alex nods, trusting me to do just that.
I pull him into my arms, hugging him for dear life before lifting him off the ground and spinning us around until he’s giggling. I look up at his elated face and make it my mission to keep it this way for the rest of my life, and I’d show him that I could.
I’ll show him that he can trust me, and eventually, we’ll be okay again.