0096
Raven
Damien is tense as he moves around my room. He had checked the windows several times before closing the curtains. Thankfully, there were no more bloody handprints.
'He looks so tired.' Midnight murmurs 'There's a lot going on' I mutter back
I knew better than to ask him if he was okay.
It was obvious he wasn't, but I wasn't exactly the greatest when it came to me being reassuring.
I tried to be reassuring to Neah when she first came here, and all I did was stick my foot in it about Dane having other brides.
Though that was a combination of me trying to warn her.
Jenson told me once that I was too truthful for my own good. That it would get me in trouble one day.
'You always have been a shit liar.' Midnight snorts. It was pretty much the only thing she agreed with Jenson on.
Damien checks the hallway and even checks the bathroom, which has a window that even Neah couldn't fit through. It was like he was expecting Salem to jump out at any second and attack us. There was even a moment where I thought he was actually going to check under the bed.
I knew he was just doing it to gain some level of control.
"If he's in human form, we would be able to scent him. If he is in Lycan form, you will be able to scent him." I remind him.
"You're right." He stops in front of me and leans down to kiss me
He pulls back, resting his forehead against mine.
"You think it's too late, don't you?" It was a question that I had been desperate to ask. But I had managed to keep it out of my thoughts so that it didn't bother him if he read my mind.
"No." It was a heavy no. Almost like he wasn't convinced of his own answer.
"You don't have to lie to me. I can see it in your face. You warned Dane, but deep down, you think it's too late."
"It's impossible to know. Not a single one of us is the exact same. For example, you and Jenson. You are twins, your wolves are twins too, but you are not in any way alike. There's no way of knowing that if she crosses over, we can bring her back. If she doesn't want to...." He trails off as he shakes his head at me.
"I know Neah is your friend Raven, but there is only so much we can do. Only so much any of us can do."
He sits on the bed next to me.
"You will try?" I ask
"I won't stop trying."
"What about the pups?"
He keeps his eyes averted.
"Will they survive?" I push. Maybe if Neah knew what would happen to her pups, it would keep her from becoming something she is not.
Damien clenches his jaw.
"Tell me, I can handle it."
"There was a female in our group of Rogues, who was pregnant when she became fully Lycan."
"The pup died in birth?"
"She ate it." His eyes flicker to me and my shocked face. "It's not black and white, Raven. Everything is food to them unless...."
I cut him off as I add up the information "Unless it's in Lycan form. The pup was born in human form, so she ate her own pup."
He nods. "I warned you Raven, we are dark. Everything about being Rogue, is food and games. It's like.... It's like nothing else matters. The world could be crumbling around you, but as long as you have food, you don't care."
"It took me a long time to understand why we become so obsessed with food and the simple answer is the same as why you eat so much after you shift. It makes you so hungry, but for a Rogue, the hunger doesn't go away, ever."
I swing my good leg around the back of him, coiling my arms around to his chest and hooking my legs over his, and hug his large back.
The others didn't see how much he carried. They didn't see how the past weighed heavily on his shoulders.
Or maybe it was just me that could see through his hardened exterior.
"As hard as it seems, you need to tell her." I whisper quietly.
"Those pups mean a lot to her, this pack, to Dane, to me and to you too. Maybe it will keep her from killing anyone else. Maybe it will stop her changing." I hear the pleading in my own tone.
I was afraid of losing her.
And in that second, I knew there was more to what Damien speaks of.
The constant warnings. Telling me he is dark, that I should be scared of him. That I will one day hate him. How he talks about Neah changing.
I let go of him. "You think you will be dragged back to that life?"
I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.
"I used to. Everyday was a fight."
"You don't anymore?" I ask in a whispered tone.
"Not since you."
I feel my heart skip a beat.
The only other person that said something was because of me, was Salem.
He had wanted a blood bond.
To align himself with my pack.
Only he wasn't a Wolf. How would that have worked? I mean I knew Lycans could blood tie themselves to each other, because of Neah and her first mate. But between a Wolf and a Lycan? Was that even possible?
I let go of Dane, shuffling myself off the bed and holding on to the dresser to keep myself upright.
"Really? You are thinking about my brother now?" He mutters, having read my mind
"He wanted a blood bond. We were supposed to have completed it but then... then he found out about Dane." I shake my head. "I would have had to bow to Trey and Cassandra. They really fucked things up for us all." "Then you had a lucky escape and for that, I am extremely grateful."
I see the lustrous look in his eyes. The desire to prove that I'm his and his alone.
"And let me remind you why."
His lips graze mine as his hands grip my waist. He lifts me up onto the dresser, nuzzling in against my neck as he positions himself between my thighs.
"You smell so good." He murmurs against my skin before nipping me, "But you will have to wait."
"For what?" I gasp in annoyance.
Less than a second later, there is a thundering knock on the door and I catch my brother's scent. His timing was absolutely shite.
"I know you are in there Damien!"
Damien gives me another quick kiss and moves to the door, letting in Dane. "How can I help?" Damien muses, looking back at me as I desperately clamp my thighs together, waiting for my arousal to disappear. "I need you to talk to Neah."
"The conversation didn't go well then?" Damien asks
"She is hormonal, she is angry, she thinks I'm bullshitting her or rather Nyx does. She has always been one to listen to me. To accept my word as what it is. But this, she doesn't want to know."
I watch Damien's face harden. It was subtle, but it was there. I couldn't read his mind yet, but I knew what he was thinking. It was the one thing he was worried about, that we were too late. "Where is she?"
"Down the hall in our room."
Damien begins to head in her direction when Eric starts shouting from downstairs, calling for help.
"I will go to Neah." I murmur, getting off the dresser and reaching for my crutches. "Go see what's wrong with Eric."
The men hurry towards the stairs as I make my way to Neah's room. She is curled up in the big chair in front of the window, cradling her small bump. She gives me a small smile. "Did you hear Eric?"
She shakes her head, her blue eyes are full of that same sadness I saw when she first arrived in Black Shadow.
"Dane told you?"
"He's wrong, right. He has to be wrong. I wasn't bitten. I....." she sighs heavily
"Damien has spoken a little bit of it." I mutter quietly, pulling the stool from her dresser over to her. "He is worried."
She frowns. "Dane said I sliced Roan open over and over."
"You...you did?!" I was confused, we had all been there. We had all seen what she had done to him and no one had stopped her. It had gotten too much for me that I buried my face into Damien's armpit so I wouldn't have to watch it. "No. It was just three times."
"Neah, we were down there for hours."
She shuffles herself around on the chair until she is facing me properly. "Hours?"
"You don't remember?"