0165
Damien
Her body falls back against the wall. Blood spurts from my mate's collarbone. I had purposely shot her there rather than her heart. Her body could heal from that. Her body couldn't heal if I killed her. I wanted to know if Raven was really gone.
Abraxas stares at me as he checks for the gun that he carries in his belt. He frowns when he realises the gun I am holding is not his and that his is firmly stored away in its resting place. He frowns at me but keeps his mouth shut.
I wasn't stupid. I knew how to use a gun correctly. I used them when I was human and with a Hunter in the pack, I figured it would be better to carry one again. Though sometimes, I'm a little impressed with myself that I hadn't pulled it on him yet. "You shot me!" Roars Raven or maybe it was Jenson. I didn't know anymore.
I could see my mate, but at the same time the words coming from her mouth sounded nothing like her.
It didn't seem possible that Neah could be right. That a soul could take the place of someone else, but then again, there was a time in my life when I didn't believe Wolves existed and definitely not Lycans.
And now I was prepared to kill the person who looked like my mate.
I honestly thought I would never use a gun again.
I keep the gun steady as Raven clutches her collarbone and slips down the wall, leaving a smear of blood. I wasn't sure if I could go through with killing my mate, even if it wasn't her anymore, but I could slow her down.
"Damien." Dane glares at me. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" His hand rests on the gun, but I refuse to let go.
I stare back at him. "She's become a threat whether you like it or not."
A laugh erupts from Raven. A laugh that didn't sound like her as her body straightened up. "You will have to do better than that, Lycan!" "Give me the gun, Damien."
"No." My finger moves on the trigger and Dane let's go and steps in front of his sibling. "You can't kill her Damien. She is your mate."
Why hadn't he said she was his sister first?
"She is, but he isn't. I can kill him."
I feel a dull ache start in my heart. It beats quickly and erratically as it grows heavier and heavier by the second. Sparks of pain shoot out in all directions of my body. I was losing Raven and fast.
"Why are you doing this?" Neah demands as she stares at my mate. I notice the small trail of blood coming from her left ear. She had been right next to Raven when the gun went off. "Second chance." The voice replies
"You've had more than a second chance." Dane snaps. "It's like your a fucking cat with nine lives."
"Big brother, you know me so well." My mate smirks at him and lets go of the wound in their shoulder. It had almost healed. The bullet had gone straight through.
Dane pulls Abraxas aside and asks if there is any way to get Raven back. I see the tiny head shake while Raven watches me.
"Maybe if we had a Witch, but by then, it would be too late." Abraxas whispers back
"I can put her in the dungeon." Dane tells him
"You will still be too late."
I stare at my mate as Dane continues to come up with possible ideas. Why had Raven let this happen? Why had she given up? Why hadn't she fought for her place in this life?
'Please come back to me Raven.' I try linking her, hoping to hear her voice. Her face stares at me and a slow smile creeps across her lips.
"She can't hear you anymore. She's resting now!" I wanted to slam my hand into his face. But I wouldn't be hitting him, I would be hitting her body.
I look over at Abraxas as it feels like my heart stops. "She isn't in there anymore, is she?"
He turns to face Raven's body and looks her up and down. "No."
"Can she come back?"
"When a soul has completely left, no."
I raise the gun, my finger on the trigger. I couldn't see anything but her. The voices around me were echoes.
Images of how we met replay in my head.
How I saw her from the gates.
How I followed her into the forest and watched her talk to herself, though that turned out to be her Wolf.
The first time I kissed her.
How her skin was so soft under my fingers.
The way she would snore yet insist she didn't. She had opened herself to me and now, I could feel her slipping.
My lungs grow tight until I can barely breathe. She is supposed to be my mate for life, but she had lost herself in her grief. She had been forced out. She had given up on us.
I drop the gun and back out of the room. She was dead. She was gone. It wasn't her.
Neah shouts something about not letting Raven out of their sight. She appears in the hallway seconds later. "You shot her."
"It's not her." I look up into my Alpha's blue eyes. Somehow, through it all, she had kept a level of calmness. She had seen something that we hadn't. "What do you think we should do?"
"Abraxas said she was gone. Do you feel it?"
I nod. I had never had a need to curl up in a ball and hide from the word.
I always faced it head on.
But losing a mate was like nothing I had ever felt.
It is painful. It is full of sorrow.
And everything no longer feels straight forward.
"She gave up." I slam my fist against the wall.
"She fucking gave up after everything!"
Neah doesn't say anything. She lets me hit the wall over and over without so much as a flinch.
When I stop, my busted up knuckles are already healing which just irritates me more. I turn to face Neah. "Why haven't you said anything?"
"I'm not feeling what you are feeling."
"Why would he do this to his own sister?" I ask, trying to understand even a little of what has happened.
"You won't like my answer and you already know what I'm going to say."
"Jenson is a self centred bastard?"
"Among many other things. It's like Dane said, he couldn't ever cope with not getting what he wanted. He always had some kind of hissy fit. I thought that he might change, but that was a long time ago. And if anything, he is worse." "How are you so calm?"
"Give me your hand."
She takes my hand and presses it on her chest. Dane would have a fucking field day if he saw what was happening.
"The exterior doesn't always match the interior." It was a phrase I had used. A way to tell her that not everything is exactly what you see. And now she was using the same phrase on me for Raven.
I feel her heart beating below my hand, but it's doing more than just beating, Neah's heart is practically humming, yet to look at her, you would think there was nothing going on beneath the surface.
"I feel Dane's pain even though he will never admit it." She sighs, "I feel the loss of a friend. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, when the decision that needs to be made will affect everyone. You are not capable of making this decision about Raven or... Jenson." She frowns "Neither is Dane. It should be me."
She turns from me and faces the closed door where Raven's voice could be heard, demanding to be let out of the room. "I am Dane's Luna. I am the Lycan Alpha. It has to be me that puts an end to the suffering."
"Do you think this was always his plan?"
"How could it be? He didn't know until he heard Abraxas talking about souls. If he had been anyone else, he would be long dead. Raven kept him hanging on long enough so that he could force his way in. And we all fell for it except Dorothy."