Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
natalie
CAMERON LED ME TOWARD a building that was boxy and nondescript, and it wasn’t until we got closer to the doors that I realized I’d been here before.
“Are we at the—”
I cut off, because there was no way, right?
But Cameron smoothly finished for me. “Planetarium?” He gave me a sideways glance that glowed with excitement. “Of course we are.”
I was still reeling from what had happened in the car, and now this?
Speechless, I followed him inside, where it was all but empty except for us.
Cameron directed me to an auditorium that boasted a domed ceiling, sprinkled with lights.
Stars. We walked past the rows of plush seats, down to the middle of the room, where blankets were laid on the ground, along with boxes of some kind of takeout food, drinks, and cushions.
I stared at the display, completely lost for words.
He’d rented out a planetarium for our first date?
“I wanted to give you the stars without the bugs,” he said, turning toward me and shucking his hands in his pockets, looking a bit sheepish.
It was my favorite look of his, a reminder that even though Cameron always acted like he had everything put together, this was all new for him, too.
And we were both just doing our best, hoping for the best.
My heart swelled in my chest, pressing against my sternum.
“One day, I’ll find a truck, load you and Chloe up in it, and take my girls somewhere out of the city to stargaze the way your dad took you when you were younger, but until then…” Cameron drifted off, his eyes roaming across the starry ceiling, and I shook my head in disbelief.
My girls.
I had no idea how to put into words what his thoughtfulness meant to me. I was constantly in awe.
“Natalie?”
The tone of Cameron’s voice made me realize that I’d been staring at him with my hand over my mouth and tears in my eyes. My whole body vibrated, both because of the edge he’d left me on in the car and the emotions bouncing around inside me. He could probably see the way I shook. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, dropping my hand to reveal the smile beneath it, and Cameron chuckled, opening his arms and moving toward me.
“Come here, Mama,” he murmured, and I gladly stepped into his arms.
“It’s just the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” I admitted. “And what you said about stargazing with Chloe—” My throat closed for a second, words getting stuck in it. “She’d really like that.”
“I’d really like it, too,” he said, voice gentle, like he knew I was moments from breaking.
He pulled me down onto the blanket, tucking me between his legs and dragging me back against his chest. Then he reached around to unbox the food: sandwiches with thick, decadent bread, colorful fruit, and gourmet snacks.
He brought a strawberry up for me to take a bite, and I leaned forward, happy to do so.
The room was dimly lit, dark enough so we could see the stars but enough light so we could see our food. It settled a sort of peace over me. In the background, soft music played, the gentle strumming of guitars and familiar melodies flowing from a hidden speaker.
“You know, I think about the things I’d like to do with the two of you all the time,” Cameron said after a long pause. His lips pressed to the column of my throat while I chewed, lingering in a way that made me feel flushed. “But only when you’re ready. And Chloe, too.”
“Chloe?”
Had he met my daughter? She couldn’t be more excited every time Cameron walked in the door in the evenings. Or when she staggered downstairs in the morning to find that he was still there, making her breakfast in the kitchen.
I felt Cameron’s shoulder move in a shrug.
“Maybe she doesn’t want someone new to play dad yet.
” He hesitated and then added, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, what I would have done if my mom had brought home someone new when I was younger.
She never did, but I think I would have been happy, especially for her.
Although I suppose it would have depended on who he was, you know? If he treated her right.”
I nodded, appreciating the way he was thinking about this so thoroughly.
Always considerate, always reflective. “Chloe sees the way you treat me. She sees how good you treat me, and I just know that one day, when she’s older, it will help her know what she should expect from a partner.
And I think even now…” I looked over my shoulder and realized the way Cameron was hanging on my every word.
“I think I haven’t seen my daughter as happy as she is in a long time. ”
“Yeah?”
The corner of Cameron’s mouth slid up at that, but he looked away from me, focusing on grabbing a grape and popping it into his mouth. Once again, acting shy.
“Yeah, Cameron,” I insisted, and his arm tightened around me, pulling me close.
I’d never been happier to be so entirely cocooned in his arms. No more hesitation, no more holding back.
“I don’t think she minds you playing dad one bit,” I continued, curling my legs beneath my bottom, inching further into his embrace. “I hope that’s what you want, though.”
Cameron released a little laugh, like the thought of him not wanting it was humorous.
“Do you think Chloe would like a beach vacation?” he asked instead of answering me.
His voice grew rough, emotion clear in it.
“Maybe we could do a long weekend on the Cape? After the trial?” I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, he added, “Also, I’d very much like a copy of her skating schedule.
Like the competitions or shows or anything outside her normal practices, since I already know when those are. ”
“I—yes.” A laugh bubbled out of me. “Yes, to both. She would love a beach vacation.” I paused, let my voice lower and soften a degree as I thought about the picture of Cameron and his family in his office. “I’d love to go to the Cape with you.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded, and his lips pressed to the top of my head before he lowered his face next to mine. There was a pregnant pause and then a quiet admission against my ear.
“I’m trying not to get ahead of myself, but I’m really excited. I think I could be a good dad. If you ever wanted me to be and Chloe was okay with having another one. I had a really great role model, after all.”
I tipped my head back, needing to see his face. Stars shimmered above his head like a halo, and his eyes were just as bright as the constellations, just as clearly telling a story.
God, I’d fallen so hard for this man.
But I couldn’t help the tiniest thread of doubt for the future weave through my mind.
“I know you’d be amazing at it, Cameron. But what if…what if we don’t get a chance to do those things. What if Korey—”
“Not going to happen,” Cameron said, voice hard. “If, God forbid, this week doesn’t go the way we hope, I won’t stop fighting, Natalie. We’ll appeal, we’ll keep pushing, we’ll make it happen. You trust me, right?”
“With everything I am.”
“I made a promise to you, and I still plan on keeping it, okay?”
“Okay,” I breathed, already more at ease.
Cameron dropped a hard kiss to my lips and then pulled back to stare at me, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something else.
His eyes had a tortured quality to them, like it was killing him to keep it inside.
My breath hitched, and words bubbled onto the tip of my own tongue, too.
But then, he swallowed and murmured, “I want you to eat before getting too distracted.”
Practical as always.
I tried to ignore the odd swirl of disappointment that vanished quickly anyway.
We spent the better part of the next hour eating and laughing before Cameron packed all the food up, and we landed on our backs, staring up at the skies.
I pointed out the constellations I knew the names of, and Cameron listened, peppering me with questions about them, which I admittedly didn’t know a lot of the answers to.
“When’s the last time you’ve been home?” he asked after a moment of silence with only mellow notes of music lingering between us. “I know your parents are coming to support you for the trial, but maybe you’d like to visit Minnesota sometime, too.”
“It’s been a long time, so I’d really like that.” It was something that had been on my mind for a while. “Maybe sometime this fall? We could try to line it up with one of Noah’s games, and I could show you around where I grew up.”
Cameron’s grin spread. “Oh, do I get to come?”
“Oh, I mean, I guess—”
One single finger pressed over my mouth to shut me up.
“I’d love to come,” he said, tracing the edges of my lips in a hypnotized sort of way. “Not a day goes by that I don’t want to learn more about you.”
Cameron dropped his hand, and I had to clear my throat before I was able to talk.
“I hope you know I feel the same about you,” I replied. “It’s distracting, how much I think about you. How I want to know more about you. Your family. Everything.”
“Well.” Cameron let out a surprisingly unsteady sigh. “Did you know that my mom’s family is actually from Boston?”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah, she was an only child, so I don’t have much extended family on her side. But sometimes, when I’m missing being home, I like to go to the bar that my grandparents used to own, before they passed. The one my mom worked at when she was younger. Where she met my dad.”
I tipped my head back so I could see him better and found Cameron already looking down at me, some unnamed emotion swimming in his gaze.
“It’s in Boston?” I asked, feeling a little breathless without really knowing why. “The bar they met at?”
Cameron nodded, but it was slow. He brushed a hand over my hair, gently playing with it.
“Where is it? We should go.”
The corner of his mouth twitched.
“Oh, Sunny.”
My brows furrowed. “What?”
“We already have, baby.” He smiled at me again, but this time, it was more in his eyes than anywhere else. “We already have.”