Chapter 11
ELEVEN
ANNIKA
It’s been three days since my beach date with Reid, and I am a complete and utter mess.
Every time I think about our date, a swarm of butterflies attacks my stomach, and it makes me sick.
I can’t stop thinking about him and how he danced with me in the sand while singing a pop-punk song.
Does he think he is some kind of Disney Prince?
My brain is in peril. I cannot help but ruminate on each moment, and then I tell myself I’m overthinking things.
It’s been one date. The coffee hang doesn’t count.
Although I can’t help but recognize that since I was nine years old, I’ve wanted to date Reid.
And now it’s happened. I made my boy crush dreams come true.
However, on the other hand, I wanted to be a single-pringle through college and to, as Chloe puts it, casually date.
I mimic her arms as I lie in bed, going through an existential crisis.
All right, maybe I’m being a little dramatic.
Every time I look over at my stack of textbooks, the loose papers shoved into folders, and the sticky notes littering my desk, I’m hit with a wave of guilt.
Do I even have time to date someone? I should probably focus on myself, at least until the workload lets up.
We’re almost six months into the school year, and yet, I’m overwhelmed with school and now a boy.
I’m in too deep, as Sum 41 ever so poetically put it.
I lie on my dorm room bed and look out the window.
In times of deep contemplation usually, I’d take a drive to the beach and step in the water, staring off into the distance while the sound of the waves crashing on the sand is the only thing to calm my thoughts.
That and shopping. If Chloe wasn’t in class right now, I’d drag her out to lunch or thrift shopping.
I need a distraction from my own brain. I decide to go with the first one and drive to a beach closer to our dorm.
It’s about a five-minute drive and on the smaller side, so there usually aren’t that many people there.
In the car, I refrain from playing the song again and instead, turn off the music entirely.
This must be what Reid feels like when driving.
Silence. Alone with your thoughts. Terrified, I turn the music quickly back on.
As I hoped, the beach is nearly empty. Only a couple of people are sitting in the sand.
I set my bag down on a spot a few yards from the water and roll up the bottoms of my pants.
It is later in the day, so the tide is farther out.
I can walk out a bit just as the waves touch my toes gently.
It’s as if the ocean knows to be chill with me today.
I stand about ankle-deep and look at the horizon. A few swimmers pass in the distance.
The sun is about an hour from setting, and the sky is starting to turn shades of cotton candy.
I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and think of everything all at once.
All my thoughts come tumbling around, and instead of holding them in, I let them all pour out.
Is my major the right one for me? It isn’t too late to change it.
Should I just drop out of college entirely?
I wonder what my mom is up to right now.
I should give her a call. Where will Chloe and I live after this year is over? Should I go home for summer break?
A seagull squawks and snaps me out of my ocean-induced trance.
Right, I came here to get clarity on Reid.
I take another deep breath and close my eyes.
The ocean wraps around my ankles like a gentle hug.
Should I go for it with him or keep it casual?
I wince even at the word casual. Casual, casual, casual.
That word haunts me. Is that even what I want?
I don’t think so. I wish I could say I want to keep dating him, but I’m worried about classes.
I can’t let school slip. My parents would be so disappointed in me.
They are the most important people in my life.
I open my eyes and look out toward the ocean. I think I also expected Reid to be texting me constantly since our date. But he’s only texted me once, and it’s been three days.
Reid
gm :]
Gm… that’s it? He didn’t even spell it out completely.
Maybe he wants to keep things laid back too.
I suppose that would answer my dilemma about how I should approach things.
But I shouldn’t lie to myself. I’ve always been into Reid.
He’s kind and confident. He makes me laugh and forget about my worries.
I know I can’t be relaxed about this. Especially not after the way he kissed me.
No kiss I’ve ever had has made me forget where I was when I opened my eyes.
I wish I could let myself go and fall into my feelings towards Reid, like I did when we were kids.
My responsibilities are clouding my ability to be carefree.
Buzzz bzz
Reid
Hey :)
I hope you aren’t too busy today.
I look up at the ocean suspiciously. He always texts me after I am on a spiral of thoughts about him. His ears must’ve been ringing.
Annika
Just deep in thought, as per usual
Reid
I hope you are thinking about me ;)
Yikes, sorry, that was awfully cheesy
Annika
I walked right into that one
Reid
What do you say about seeing a movie with me Friday night? They are screening Mean Girls in the Amphitheater.
Annika
No way! I love Mean Girls. I could watch that 100 times.
Reid
Well, perfect because I’ve never seen it, it will be my new movie this month.
Annika
…
Reid
What?
Annika
Did you just say, you’ve never. seen. it?
I glance up from my phone and realize I have the cheesiest smile on my face. Gah! See, I’m screwed. I notice the tide is getting higher and decide to move back over toward my bag and walk up to a bench by the sidewalk. Buzzz bzz
Reid
Hey…I grew up as an only child with a single dad, Mean Girls wasn’t a typical Friday night movie pick for us.
Annika
I’d be honored to escort you to your first viewing of Mean Girls.
Reid
:] awesome, pick you up at your dorm? 7pm Friday?
Annika
I’ll be there
I’ll be there? Of course I will, it’s my dorm!
And just like that, all my doubt washes away because I’ve agreed to another date with Reid without second guessing. It’s just one more date, and we’ll be watching a movie most of the time. Casual Annika, don’t fall in love with him.