Chapter 12
TWELVE
REID
The past week has been the hardest I’ve experienced in college yet.
Two classes had projects due. One told us we’d have a quiz at the end of the week, and I can’t concentrate on my lecture because I keep doodling “Annika” over and over again on my note sheet.
I’ve done it so many times that the double n’s turn into a long squiggle.
I feel terrible that I’ve texted her so few times since our date.
And I feel worse that she isn’t on the top of my mind. Anatomy II is.
I’ve been thinking a lot about balance. I want to do this right with Annika.
I don’t want to treat it like it’s some college fling.
I never thought in middle school that I’d actually get to date her, let alone kiss her.
Holding her up so we don’t collapse on the beach.
I’ve been comforting my stressed brain by thinking about that date.
It was perfect, which is why I want things to only improve.
I want to take it slow and make sure she knows how much I care about her.
But balance. I can’t let my feelings for her cloud my studying.
I am on track to finish the year with honors, and I intend to make sure that happens.
So if I can’t text her right away in order to study, I’ll have to wait.
I was nervous to finally message her two days ago, but we fell into conversation with ease. She is effortless to me. Her banter, her expressions. It’s a breath of fresh air. I can’t mess this up with her. Hopefully, she understands, and we can take things slow. If I’m capable of slow.
The sound of my professor closing his textbook means the lecture is finally over, and I’ve successfully written “Annika” probably a hundred times and taken zero notes. So much for balance.
My last class of the day is over, which means in two hours, I get to pick up Annika and take her to a movie.
I am walking light on air back to my dorm.
I’m so giddy I start skipping. I feel like I’m in a romantic comedy, but I’m not going to let the puzzled looks of my peers stop me from enjoying this high I am on.
I see Isaac, and he starts laughing hysterically at the sight of me skipping toward him.
“Dude! What the hell are you on right now, and can I get some of it?” I meet Isaac’s hand and pat his back to greet him.
“I’m on a silly thing called love, my dude.” Except I’m not in love, not yet, at least.
“Yo…love? Don’t be throwing the ‘L’ word around like that. Who’s the lucky girl?”
“You know Annika? We went to middle school with her. She was at your birthday party.”
I think I notice an expression change in Isaac’s eyes when I mention her name. Interesting. Maybe there’s something he isn’t telling me.
“Ya, of course, I know Anni…I invited her to my birthday party. You should be thanking me. Shit, call me Cupid!”
Any worry I have melts away as Isaac’s big smile spreads across his face, and he pats my shoulder.
“I’m really happy I decided to come to your party. I’m about to pick her up again tonight for another date. It feels like the real thing.”
“Well, that’s dope, bro. Tell her I said hi, and have fun tonight. Go get some!” Isaac forces a smile and strides off.
Is he into Annika too? Isaac is one of my closest friends here, and it would majorly suck if a girl came between us. I shake it off and finish my walk back to my door. I need to freshen up and change out of these school clothes before I pick up Annika.
I stand at her dorm door and take a deep breath, then lift my arms to double check I put deodorant on. How should I knock? Now I’m questioning my knock style? I do two quick knocks and immediately wish I did three. I hear muffled talking from inside and then the door opens.
This is the third moment I’d like to bottle and remember forever.
Seeing Anni’s eyes light up as she looks up at me.
She’s done something again to her hair, so it flips out at her shoulders and sways when she turns her head, just like the first night I saw her.
Her perfume wafts over to me, and I am instantly transported to our kiss on the beach.
I smile and look down at her outfit. She’s wearing a black crop top with a big rose on the chest and a black flared skirt.
She’s not wearing her Chucks today. Instead, she’s got on a pair of sexy black platform boots.
Damn. I shove my hands into my pockets to prevent myself from pushing her back into her dorm and kissing her all night instead of watching the movie.
I look up and see she is also looking at my outfit. “So, do you approve of my movie night outfit?” I say, putting one hand on my head and one on my hip, posing for her.
“Is that your grandpa’s sweater?” She looks up and reaches over and touches my arm, lingering on my thrifted sweater. My arm tingles under her touch.
“He had great style, if I do say so myself. Goes great with my crusty Converse.”
She turns to say goodbye to Chloe, and we head out toward the amphitheater that is showing the movie.
We are quiet most of the walk over. I ask her how her classes are going, and she asks about mine.
She doesn’t seem too excited to talk about her courses.
I notice that she tries to change the subject whenever I ask her another question about her major or classwork.
I get the feeling she isn’t enjoying it.
I remember she did the same thing when I mentioned it on our beach date.
I don’t want to start our date on a sour note, so I change it and talk about my classwork.
We get to the amphitheater, and Annika insists on buying us snacks since I got lunch on the first date. I appreciate that she is thoughtful about it. Other girls I’ve dated expected me to shell out every food and ticket for anything we went to.
Annika leads us to a spot near the middle, so we have a central view of the screen.
The AV-Club that set this up installed a giant screen that a projector will hit.
It’s already getting dark, so we should be able to see it easily.
Annika puts the popcorn in between us at our feet and hands me my candy of choice, Swedish Fish, while she starts munching on Reese’s Pieces.
She seems a little off ever since we sat down, just making small talk and joking around, but she doesn’t seem as comfortable as she was on the beach.
The movie is going to start soon so we won’t be able to talk as much and I want to get to know her more.
“So, is Reese’s your favorite candy?” Stupid question Reid.
“Huh? Oh yeah, I love anything peanut butter and chocolate together.”
Her shoulders are turned straight toward the screen while I am leaning toward her. I want to shake her and ask what is going on in her head. It’s as if we didn’t share a kiss a few days ago. Have I been overthinking her feelings toward me?
“You smell really nice, like flowers in the fall,” I say, leaning into her. She turns her head and looks me in the eyes.
“Are you for real?” she says with a straight face, and I’m not sure if she is offended by my comment until her lips spread into a wide smile.
“I figure that I think of these things in my head. Why not say it out loud and tell you exactly what I’m thinking? I thought you’d like to know. I’m really happy you said yes again, by the way.” I scooch closer so our shoulders and knees are touching.
She glances down at them and then rests her head on my right shoulder. I am a ball of nerves. I reach around and put my right arm on her side, holding her close. My hand resting where her small tattoo is beneath her shirt. She reaches in to eat popcorn while resting on me still.
“Hey, can I get some of that?”
She giggles and, without moving her head, sticks her arm up, guessing where my mouth is and feeding me a piece of popcorn.
I turn my head and give the top of her head a little kiss.
She squeezes in closer and puts her left hand on my leg.
We watch the movie cuddled close, taking things slow, just as I hoped we would.
I can’t believe I’ve never seen Mean Girls. It is kind of the best movie I’ve ever seen. The visual, the iconic lines, maybe four and a half stars for me. I’m definitely going to see if I can find a shirt that says the line Gretchen Wieners delivers at the end.
We were quiet most of the movie, but occasionally I’d put my hand on her knee or bump her shoulder during a funny part. She would poke me whenever I’d try to whisper something in her ear.
As we walk back to her dorm, I link our hands together, gently swinging them and humming a song from the movie.
I could get used to this. Having someone like Annika to spend my Friday nights with.
I am quite obsessed with her and her raspy chuckle.
The way she squints at every dumb joke I make and then makes one back at me.
The way she doesn’t shy away from my affection towards her and yet takes it slow with me.
I don’t mind it because I want to savor these early moments of our relationship.
When we are years into our relationship, we’ll look back at this moment, walking her back to her dorm room from the movie.
Years from now? Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.
We get back to her dorm room, and we stand at her door and look at each other. She doesn’t race to go inside, and I don’t rush her. I am enjoying the view. I take her hand and running my lips along her knuckles and kissing the top of her hand, which makes her eyes roll.
“You are too much, Parker.”
I laugh and give her hand back. “I really loved Mean Girls, probably the best movie I’ve seen so far this year.”
“I knew you’d like it. It’s a classic.” She smiles, and her dark eyes twinkle up at me.
I take that as an invitation and reach for her waist, pulling her into an embrace.
She stiffens at first, but after a beat, she wraps her arms around my back, pressing them against my shoulder blades.
I nuzzle my face in her hair and breathe in her scent.
I should probably stop smelling her so much, but she smells too good.
I give her a kiss on the side of her head and on her cheek before I separate from her.
I’m not sure why I’m nervous about kissing her again, but I am. I don’t want to scare her off.
“Next time, I’ll take you to dinner at an actual restaurant with a table. This is the second date where we were eating from our laps.” I say to her.
She gives me a tight lip smirk, nods, and says, “All right, sounds good.”
I’m not sure what to do next, so I put my hand up to give her a high-five. “Okay, I’ll text you later! Have a good night.”
She squints and gives me the worst high-five back, then turns to her dorm door and goes inside. I just stare at the doorknob. Did I just high-five her?
I rub my neck and replay the entire date in my head. She’s the same mysterious and witty girl I’ve always known. I want to break open that shell she keeps around herself.