Chapter 5
five
LIVVY
“Have you seen a horse?”
My lips twitched, and I nodded at the phone. “Yes. I’ve seen many horses. And cows.”
“Cows?” Amelia’s eyes widened comically, and I laughed.
“Yes. They have Angus cows next door, but this ranch has Hereford.”
My daughter just blinked at me, and I grinned down at my phone.
“Have your grandpa look it up.” I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t laugh at the earnest expression on her face.
Amelia clapped her hands. “Picture?”
“Yes. I will take a photo. I already have a few.”
“Where is Ewan?” she asked innocently, while I held back a blush.
I looked over her shoulder to see my mom raise a brow. Mom had been the one to help me pack for this trip, as my father had just glared for some reason. Neither one of them had asked any questions. I would’ve thought they would have had a million of them considering I did not know this man. My cousin knew him and trusted him implicitly, so that should have been enough. But I had gone on an overnight wedding trip with a man I didn’t know, and my mother had packed the damn bag.
And now here my daughter was, asking about him, and my mother continued to smirk.
“He’s with the wedding party getting ready for the day. I’ll see him later.”
Amelia pouted. “He’s nice. Is he going to come back? I want to show him my blocks. And cupcakes. I really like cupcakes.” She fluttered those eyelashes again, and I barely resisted the urge to narrow my eyes at my mother.
“It’s a grandmother’s prerogative,” Mom said, a bit of shame in her tone.
I held back my playful retort and braced as I turned back to my daughter. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to see him before the wedding. And he lives here, darling. Remember?” I ignored the slightest twinge at that. I knew he lived here. Many many miles away from me. This was just an odd dream, an escape.
And I needed to make sure my daughter and I both understood that.
“Tell him hi. And I miss him.”
My mother just smiled at me, and I wasn’t sure if I saw worry there, or was just projecting it.
I talked to my daughter a few more minutes and held back tears before signing off. I had only slept away from Amelia a handful of nights in my life. She was my purpose. My everything. And leaving her even for a night was difficult. I still couldn’t quite believe I had dropped everything and come on this grand adventure. I wasn’t sure why I said yes, other than sane me never would have said yes. But I knew I had found myself in some form of rot. Going day by day, hour by hour just trying to survive. I had Amelia, my family, and my job. Thankfully I could work anywhere as long as I had the internet, so jumping on a plane hadn’t been that far off in the realm of impossibility. And I had even worked on edits for another book this morning. I scheduled my time enough so I was able to do this, and yet it was still drastically out of character.
As was letting Ewan finger me against the wall. I had never had an orgasm quite like that in my life. And since I hadn’t been with anybody since Brick, I had gotten very good at giving myself orgasms. I had the toys and the means to get myself off in many different ways. Because I only had myself to rely on, whether it was my life, my future, or my orgasms.
And yet, Ewan had blown every other experience out of the water.
And just thinking the word blown made me imagine myself on my knees in front of him. If he hadn’t been called away, I knew that’s where I would’ve been. I wouldn’t care that the hardwood would dig into my knees. I wanted to be down there, his cock in my mouth, and me taking that control. Of course, knowing the rough feel of his calloused hands, perhaps he’d be the one in control, guiding himself in and out of my mouth as he wrapped my hair around his fist.
Just thinking about it got me wet. And I knew that was a problem.
Because this weekend was just a temporary moment. An abstract time that would blow up in my face or fade away into memories. Or perhaps both.
Ewan was not forever. I knew that. I didn’t want forever. My family could find it. I watched my cousins fall in love. My parents were so damn in love it was quite sickening sometimes. I knew love existed.
I also knew you needed to trust explicitly in order for that to happen.
And I didn’t have any trust left in me.
I couldn’t even find the man who had been a sperm donor. How the hell was I supposed to trust another?
So perhaps it would be smart for me just to live in the moment. I could protect my heart while having the best sex of my life.
Because I knew it would be the best sex in my life.
Part of me was annoyed he had never come back to the room. I knew it was for a good reason. There had been countless issues that seemed insurmountable for the wedding, and I had been alone in bed, horny as hell, wondering what I was supposed to do.
The whole one room, one bed scenario hadn’t been a problem since he hadn’t come back at all.
And I wasn’t sure how the night was going to go since the wedding would run into the wee hours of the morning most likely. Maybe we wouldn’t have time to finish what we had started.
Maybe that single orgasm that made my toes curl and my knees go weak would have to be enough. And perhaps it would be enough. I would have to make do with the best orgasm of my life. But I wanted more. Just for the night.
And I was never someone who wanted more.
What had this cowboy done to me?
There was a knock at the door, and my shoulders tensed, my thighs pressing together.
It couldn’t be Ewan. Could it? He had a key code to the room. But maybe he was giving me privacy.
Or perhaps he was tentative about everything that happened. Maybe he regretted having me come here. It was completely out of the blue, and out of character for him as well from what I could see of his friends and family.
Maybe this was all a complete mistake.
There was another knock, and then someone cleared their throat. “Livvy? Are you in there?”
I scrambled off the bed at the sound of Kandi’s voice. Why was the bride at my door on her wedding day? Considering Ewan had left the night before for an emergency, one that he had just said had gotten out of control but hadn’t gone into details of, I was worried.
I opened the door quickly as Kandi stood there, her eyes swollen, her hair on the top of her head, and wearing cut up jeans and a T-shirt.
So unlike what a bride would normally wear.
I immediately did the Montgomery thing and held out my arms for her.
She fell into them, this stranger, and sobbed into my shoulder.
I brought her into the room so that way nobody would see. I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but I was not going to let her deal with this on her own and where anyone could watch.
“What’s wrong?” I finally asked as Kandi’s tears subsided.
“Everything is such a mess.” The other woman stood up and wiped her tears, shaking herself a bit.
“I’m so sorry. How can I help?” I could’ve bitten my tongue by asking that, considering I had no idea what the situation was.
Kandi took a step back and wiped her face. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t know me, I’m not always this hyperemotional. I didn’t mean for my wedding to be like this, but here we are.”
“I’ve seen my fair share of weddings. It’s okay. Just take a breath. Can I get you some water?”
She shook her head. “I have some in the bridal suite. And I’ll rehydrate. I even have cheese and crackers, so I have protein and snacks. I thought I was all ready to go. And then I decided to have women I thought I trusted in my bridal party.”
I froze, a sense of unease washing over me. “Oh?”
“Did Ewan tell you that he had to deal with an issue last night?”
I nodded, hoping I wasn’t blushing too hard at the memory. “But he didn’t give me any details.”
“Well, Holland ended up with food poisoning. So we were worried it was from the reception dinner, but it turned out she was the only one who was sick.” Kandi’s eyes narrowed. “And it wasn’t food poisoning.”
It took a moment, and then my eyes widened. “Oh.”
“Very much oh . And if that wasn’t enough, it turns out the baby is Josh’s.”
I stood in silence for the moment, not really knowing who Josh was. I had seen him across the way when Ewan had pointed the groom’s party out, but I didn’t know anybody here.
“Oh, I forgot you don’t realize all of the soap opera connections in our group. Josh is married to Kendra. And is Sarah’s brother.”
I quickly tried to do the mental connections. It was something that I was decently good at considering my family. And then I winced. “That does make for complications and poor decisions.”
“Exactly. Kendra and Holland got into it, and there was hair pulling and slapping. And Dustin is Holland’s brother, and so he and Josh got into it. And then somehow everybody was screaming and fighting, and half of my wedding party is on the outs and kicked off the property.”
My stomach fell as I shook my head. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine. But today’s your day.” I hoped I wasn’t stepping in it at this point. “I know you had all these plans and you’ve done so many different related activities with the group. But it is your day with Jackson.”
Kandi’s smile was brighter than the sun at that moment. “It is. And I love him so much. And I hate all of my friends right now.”
I cringed. “I’m sorry about that. I hope you guys can work it out.” I paused. “After a lot of time. And preferably not around any sharp objects.”
Kandi burst out laughing, and I let out a relieved breath that I hadn’t taken it too far. “Ewan said I would like you.”
I ignored the warmth spreading through me at that comment.
“Speaking of Ewan, I have a huge favor to ask.”
I froze, wondering where she was going with this.
“I know that he asked you here because Trish was annoying him. By the way, Trish is gone. I heard how she talked to you and him, and I’m done. She was my friend from college and in my same sorority. I shouldn’t have even had her in my wedding party.”
Guilt swamped me. “I’m so sorry. First for crashing your wedding.” I let out a hollow laugh. “And for Trish. You did not need to do anything for me. I can handle people like her.”
“You shouldn’t have to. My wedding was supposed to be happy and bright and cheery. And the people I called friends were not making it that way. I have better friends out there, I promise. I just picked the wrong ones to be close to me on this day. I’m going to figure it out. But I’m going to have Jackson at my side when I do it. Because he’s truly the best choice I’ve ever made.”
I smiled at that and reached out, gripping her hand. “See? That’s all that matters in a wedding. The person that you are marrying.”
Something I would never be doing. But I ignored the odd ache at that.
“You get it. Completely. And Ewan explained the whole fake date thing, but from the way you two are with each other…I don’t know if I believe it’s that fake.”
I pressed my lips together, unsure of what I was supposed to say.
“You don’t have to explain. However, I was wondering if you could be my fake bridesmaid?”
I froze, utterly confused, but she continued before I could put my scattered thoughts into words. “Or rather, my fake maid of honor. I’m out of women I trust that are here at the wedding. The women in my life that would normally take this place are stuck in Europe thanks to a weather issue. So I won’t even have them here. And I kicked out the people that I thought I trusted. I don’t want to say you’re my only hope. But you’re really my only hope. Ewan’s going to be standing up there for Jackson, and I want someone too.”
“But I’m a stranger,” I said quickly, feeling as though I had lost control of every situation I was currently in.
“You know Ewan. And you might say it’s only for a few days, but you guys met at an emotionally heightened situation and bonded. Fate has a silly way of changing things.”
I did not want to think about fate when it came to Ewan. Especially because I would be flying home the next day, and I wouldn’t see him again. Why did that hurt so much to think about?
“There is no one else you can ask?” I felt desperate here. Tears filled Kandi’s eyes again, and I reached out to squeeze her hand once more. “I’m sorry.”
“There are other people I could ask, but frankly, I just want a clean slate. And I know that’s horrible to ask of you, and a huge ask to begin with. But you know Ewan, and the idea of you two walking down the aisle together just makes me happy.”
A warning alarm sounded, but I couldn’t say anything. Not with the look on her face. “What is it you need me to do?” I asked, and her face brightened.
I had a feeling I had once again leaped off a cliff so high I hadn’t been expecting it.
* * *
In the end, it hadn’t taken that much effort. I had brought a pale pink dress with flowers up the sides, and it turned out it matched the decor enough I didn’t have to borrow one of the ill-fated bridesmaids dresses. That wouldn’t have been awkward at all. And with the grooms in suit coats and dark jeans, the down-home and yet elegant affair worked.
I knew people would have questions. Namely who the hell I was and how I had been invited to this. However, I wouldn’t be the one answering them. Now I stood next to Ewan waiting to go down the aisle, wondering if I could run away.
Ewan’s hand reached out, his fingers brushing along my neck.
I held back a shiver, my tongue darting out to lick my lower lip.
His gaze followed the action, and I swallowed hard. “You ready for this?” he asked, that voice a low growl.
“Not even in the slightest. But I’ve already been out of my comfort zone every moment since I’ve met you. I might as well continue.”
He smirked ever so slightly. I wanted to go on my tiptoes and press my lips against his. But I was already making enough of a scene just being here.
“You look good out of your comfort zone, Livvy Montgomery. I know this is not what you asked for, and hell, I had no idea this is what I would be doing either. But I don’t mind being able to walk next to you for a little bit, and then looking at you across the way.”
My face flushed, and I shook my head. “I’m going to have to go stand up there in front of one hundred or so people I don’t know, so don’t get me all hot and bothered.”
He leaned down and kissed my bare shoulder. I barely resisted the urge to melt into a puddle.
“Ewan McBride,” I warned.
“I like what you say my full name. And by the way, Montgomery, it’s more like three hundred.”
I nearly pivoted on my heels and ran away, but then the music started, and there was no turning back.
Walking arm in arm with Ewan down the aisle was a surreal experience. The music intensified, and I could feel the stares of others. But Jackson had already announced the change in company, and we were going with it as if it wasn’t a big deal.
Going from fake date to fake bridesmaid wasn’t on my schedule, but then again, nothing was.
Everything passed in moments, and I stood across the aisle from Ewan, my bouquet and Kandi’s in my hands as two people who I just met vowed to love each other until the end of days and beyond. And from the certainty in their voices, I believed it.
No matter the trauma and power surrounding them, trying to take this moment from them, they had persevered. They loved each other. And while I believed in love, sometimes it was hard to see it. Yet not in this moment. Not for these two.
As the wedding blended into the reception, I smiled in Ewan’s arms, wondering how I had ended up here once again.
“You look damn beautiful in that dress,” Ewan murmured in my ear as we danced pressed up obscenely next to each other.
“I can tell from what’s pressing against me,” I teased.
“Minx,” he growled, biting my earlobe.
I took a step back, grateful for the music change. Climbing him like a tree in public would probably not be a great idea since I was already a spectacle just being there.
“I still can’t believe how well people took my presence in the wedding. I expected weird questions and looks, but people are being kind. Curious, but kind.”
“You’re beautiful, and selfless for being here. Of course they are being kind.”
I shook my head, my breath coming quick just staring at him. He was definitely a problem.
“By the way, I noticed how you neatly shuffled to the side of the dance floor when she threw the bouquet.”
I rolled my eyes and shoved at his shoulder playfully as we made our way out of the large tent. People were partying and having a great time, and my part of the festivities was over. Thank God.
“I was already the center of attention far too much. And you didn’t catch the garter either.”
“I never really understood why that’s a thing.”
I shrugged. “My cousin looked it up one time, but I don’t remember.”
“Of course a cousin of yours did.”
“Do you think I should figure out what to do with this bouquet?” I asked as I picked up the one I had used for the wedding off our table.
“I forgot to tell you that Kandi said to keep it.”
My eyes widened. “Really?”
He gestured toward the numerous tables. “They have hundreds if not thousands of flowers. She wanted you to keep that one. Plus there might be a wedding gift of some sort in the room. I wasn’t quite sure exactly what was going on because she was talking quickly and happily. However, the flowers are yours.”
My lips formed a smile at that, as I inhaled the precious blooms. “Amelia will love them. She always wanted to be a flower girl and hasn’t had a chance yet. The odds are great she’ll be able to one day with one of my cousins or even my brother, so there’s hope yet. However, I’ll make sure she gets to keep these.”
He gave me an odd look, like he was thinking hard, and I had to wonder if he had noticed I had not mentioned my own wedding. But that was far too complicated of a topic for this moment.
“My mom used to dry them a certain way so that way they still kept their form and didn’t brown too easily. I can show you. I think Amelia would get a kick out of it.”
I sucked in a sharp breath as I nodded in answer. Because he said he was going to teach me. As in he would see me again.
Or maybe it was just a response, and I was thinking too hard.
“I’m really tired,” I blurted, knowing I was beyond obvious.
“You know what, so am I. What do you say we make our way back to the room?” He paused. “To get some rest.”
I swallowed hard, my knees going weak, and I practically ran up the path, hoping nobody else noticed.
By the time we were in the room, our breath was coming quick, and I was once again pressed against the door.
“I wanted to rip the dress off of you since I first saw you in it.”
“You in those jeans just does something to me. I’ve never been a jeans person. I always thought suits were the way to go.”
“You like me all blue-collar.” He leaned forward and bit my bottom lip; the sting nearly sent me over the edge. When he slid his hand up my thigh to grip my ass again, I moaned.
“What is wrong with us? What can’t we keep our hands off each other?”
“Did I ask you to stop touching me?” he asked, his voice low.
I kissed him harder in answer.
He picked me up with one arm, and I let out a shocked gasp before wrapping my legs around his waist. He walked toward the bed, and set me down on top of it, hovering over me.
“I need to taste you.”
I licked my lips and kicked off my shoes before letting my legs fall to the side. He smiled like the cat who found the canary as he pushed my dress up over my hips.
“You already soaked your panties. Were you wet all day?”
“I’ve been on edge since you left me last night,” I whispered, my hands cupping my breasts over my dress.
“I will forever hate my friends for pulling me away from you last night. It was all I could do not to lock them in a room together and come back to you so I could fill you up and fuck you until the sun rose. So that’s what I’m going to do tonight. I hope you got some sleep last night, because you’re not getting any tonight. I’m going to fuck you in every single position possible, until both of us are wrung out, and then go at it again. Are you ready for me? How many times do you think I can make you come?”
I froze, wondering if his words could send me over the edge. Could I come from just words?
And then he pressed his thumb over my clit, and I came.
“One,” he growled before whipping my panties off.
I was still coming down from my orgasm as he licked up my slit, and my toes curled. He devoured me, flicking his tongue at my clit and sucking at every inch of me. He bit my thighs and speared into me with two fingers. And when I came again, rocking my pussy against his face, he pulled back, licked his lips, and whispered, “Two.”
I sat up and let him strip my dress off me. There had been a built-in bra, so my breasts fell heavy, my nipples so tight at the feel of him. He leaned forward and pressed them between his fingers.
“How the hell did I not realize you were pierced?” he asked, his gaze darkening.
I bit my lip, my fingers playing along the edge of his jeans. “And you still haven’t seen all of my tattoos,” I whispered.
“Oh, I’m going to lick every single one.”
And then he leaned forward and sucked one nipple into his mouth. I arched for him, tugging at his belt.
“I need to see you. It’s not fair that I’m naked and you’re not.”
“We can rectify that,” he said with a grin. Then he pulled off his shirt, and my mouth watered. My hands slid up his beautifully tattooed chest, and my nails scraped down his muscled flesh.
“How much ink do you have?”
“Just enough.”
“And I’m going to make sure I lick every inch too,” I promised.
Ewan wrapped my hair around his fist and pulled my head back. “Good.” And then he crushed my mouth to his, and I groaned into him. I pulled down his pants, and he helped me shove them completely off.
When his cock sprung free in front of my mouth, my eyes widened at the barbell piercing at the end.
“You’ve been hiding things,” I teased, lifting the base of his shaft.
He let out a groan, his hand in my hair tightening to the point of pain. But a good pain. “Are you going to be okay with my piercing in your mouth? I don’t want you to hurt yourself, or your teeth.”
I looked up at him then, pumping him once, twice. “Will you show me how to make it feel good?” I asked, panting.
He let his head fall back, a guttural groan ripping from his throat. “You are the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
And then he kissed me again before showing me exactly how he wanted it. He put one hand over mine, shaking. He squeezed himself harder before he gently ran his fingers down my throat.
“That’s it, open for me. I’ll go slow. I promise.”
I licked the tip of his cock and then slowly swallowed him. I hummed along his length, and he shifted his hips slightly, going deeper. When I gagged, he pulled out, but I gripped his hips with my free hand, taking him even deeper. When I swallowed, letting him go past the back of my throat, he began whispering words I couldn’t even hear or understand.
When he pulled back, I licked up his shaft. We continued into the moment, testing our desires and strengths. I cupped his balls using one hand and then using my other, I gripped the base of his dick where my mouth couldn’t reach. My fingers couldn’t even touch around him, and I knew he would stretch me in the best ways possible soon.
I continued to go down on him, loving the noises he made. When he pulled out, I frowned up at him, my lips swollen, my breasts heavy.
“As much as I want to come down that pretty throat or on those gorgeous tits, I really need to fuck you now.”
I nodded eagerly as I leaned back. “Finally!”
We both laughed, and then he reached into the nightstand to pull out an entire box of condoms.
My eyes widened, and he just grinned. “I told you it’s going to be a long night.”
I helped him sheath himself, and both of us shook as we did so, the momentum and anticipation twining in a way that had never happened before in my life. And then he was hovering over me, settling between my thighs, and I reached up to push his hair back from his face.
He smiled down at me, and kissed me softly, a gentleness that we hadn’t had before, or at least not since that first time.
For some reason tears pricked my eyes, but I blinked them away as he looked down at me.
“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice strained.
“Yes, always.”
And then he smiled before plunging deep. The intrusion was almost too much, his cock thick and long. I let out a shocked gasp as he froze deep inside me, not even fully seated.
“Did I hurt you?”
My fingernails dug into his shoulders, but I shook my head. “No, it has been a really long time.”
We met gazes, and that’s when I knew he understood. He swallowed hard before pulling out gently, then inching deep inside me. I moved my hands to grip him around his hips and pulled him in deeper.
“Save gentle for later. I want you however you can have me now,” I panted.
His eyebrows scrunched as if he wasn’t sure if I was telling the truth, so I lifted my hips, meeting his thrust. And when I slid my fingers between the globes of his ass and played with him there, he rolled his eyes back before he moved.
He pounded into me, and I met him thrust for thrust, needing him. He pulled out of me, a growl escaping his throat as he flipped me on my hands and knees and continued to pound into me. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, but with each motion, I was sent closer and closer to the edge. I crawled up the headboard, angling my back so he could go deeper, and with one hand on my hip, he slid the other to cup my breast and play with the piercing there.
I came again, clamping around his cock, and he leaned forward to bite down on my shoulder.
I moaned, using one hand to play with my clit, as he continued to move, both of us panting. When he finally came, he held me so close to him, I couldn’t tell where he began and I ended, but it didn’t matter. This moment would be etched in my memory for all time.
Because it had been the hardest, hottest sex of my life, and yet, the most delicate.
And later, after he cleaned me up, he licked every inch of me again, feasting on me as if I were only his. And then we did indeed find every position possible in that small room where the single bed proved to be barely sturdy enough to take us.
And as we caught our breaths while clinging to each other, I told myself I would be able to walk away.
I had to.
The sun rose over the mountains, the spears of light sliding through the blinds, as he kissed me softly, entering me from behind.
I was sore and tired, but I couldn’t stop moving.
“That’s it, take me. One last time.”
Last.
“I lost count,” I muttered, out of energy, yet it felt as if lightning bounced around inside me.
“I didn’t,” he said cockily.
And I finally came, this time knowing he did with me.
“I don’t want this to end,” he whispered after moments, and I froze, afraid of what he would say. But what could either of us say?
“You can tell me no. You can tell me to go. But I don’t want this to be our only night.”
“You. My family?—”
“We will figure it out. I’ll go with you though. Back to Colorado. I’m figuring things out.”
I let the tears fall as I nodded, knowing that nothing good could come from this.
But I didn’t want to let go either.
Even if it broke me in the end.