Chapter 13 Ezrah
Chapter thirteen
Ezrah
I've never slept better in my life. I feel energized, rested, and ready for the day ahead.
I freshen up quickly, pull on some clothes, and head to the kitchen. I find Sebastian humming and swaying to a tune only he can hear.
A chuckle slips from me, louder than I intended, because he turns at one. The smile that breaks over his face stops me dead.
His whole face lights up. With his pink hair and blue-green eyes, he looks almost angelic.
The sudden urge to ruffle his hair, to mess him up a bit, comes out of nowhere. I fight it, wondering what the fuck is wrong with me.
"Good morning, Daddy," he says, still smiling brightly.
I swallow and nod, not trusting my voice. Again, it would be the perfect moment to bring up the Daddy thing, but I don't want to ruin his morning. Only to myself will I admit that a part of me enjoys the way he calls me that.
I'm more messed up than I thought.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asks and hurries over.
He presses his palm to my forehead and checks me over. His furrowed brows and worried eyes make me feel like an asshole.
"I'm fine, don't worry," I say, lowering his hand, but I hold onto it a second too long. "My throat's just dry."
"Oh, that's easy to fix. Sit. I'll bring you a glass of water."
"I can get one myself."
"No."
He spins on his heel and storms back into the kitchen. I chuckle again. Damn, I didn't know he was this feisty.
I follow his orders and sit at the table.
There's already breakfast waiting for me, and my throat tightens.
How long has it been since someone made me breakfast?
Truth is, I don't think anyone ever has.
My mom, sure. But Aziel never did. We used to make it together, or I made it alone. Not that I minded.
"Hey, where did you go?" Sebastian asks as he sets the glass down in front of me.
"I was thinking about Aziel," I blurt before I can stop myself.
Sebastian's face doesn't change, but I notice something strange. It's like he's trying hard not to react in any way.
"Oh? Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't think discussing my ex-husband with his little brother is a good idea." Even I wince at the words.
Sebastian takes a deep breath and drops into the chair beside me.
"I'm all for bad ideas, so go ahead."
I hesitate. It feels wrong. Not just because he's Aziel's brother, but because of something else I can't name.
It doesn't even hurt to think about Aziel anymore. The first year nearly killed me, the second was just bearable, but now… nothing. I'm over him, over what happened. Jaded, maybe, but not broken. Then why was he on my mind?
"When I saw the breakfast, I wondered how long it's been since someone did this for me," I admit, eyes on the table.
"So it reminded you of him making you breakfast," Sebastian says, almost to himself.
I shake my head, meeting his eyes. "No. He's never made me breakfast. More often than not, we did it together. At least when he was in the mood to eat breakfast."
"Yes. He was never a big fan of those."
"It runs in the family, I guess," I joke, remembering Sebastian's own habit of skipping it.
Suddenly, his eyes harden, and he grits his teeth.
"No. It does not run in the family," he says with a cold expression I've never seen on his face.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"Yes. You shouldn't have compared me with Aziel. Why? Because I'm not him."
He stands, glaring down at me, eyes blazing.
"I'm not Aziel. I'll never be."
Fuck.
I messed up.
"I didn't mean it like that. I shouldn't have said it, I apologise."
"You did mean it. You still see me as Aziel's little brother. Nothing else."
He's pissed, and he's right. I've never been fair to him.
I've only ever seen him as the kid brother.
Not as a separate human being. Not as a man.
But Sebastian is so much more. He's feisty, stubborn, sometimes sunshine, sometimes wild, sometimes soft enough to make me want to protect him.
He's more than I ever gave him credit for.
"You know what? Since all you ever do is see me as Aziel's little brother, I'll tell you a secret."
The fury in him twists something sharp inside me. I hate being the cause of it. I hate seeing hurt in his eyes.
"Sebastian, I-"
"I'm not Aziel's little brother. I'm his half-brother. Same mother. Different fathers."
His words hit like a bomb.
"What?"
"Maybe now you'll stop seeing me as just his little brother," he says bitterly, and turns to leave.
"Sebastian, wait!"
I rush after him, not knowing what to do, but sure as fuck not wanting him to leave like this.
"No. I want to go. Let me leave."
His back is to me, but the whispered words are enough to make me freeze. I can only watch as he walks out the door.
Never before has he reacted like this to me calling him Aziel's brother. But then, back when I was with Aziel, it was normal.
I know damn well that since Sebastian came back into my life, we're no longer in-laws. We're two men circling each other like moths to flame. I just don't want to admit it.
Part of me still says it's wrong. That he's Aziel's brother… half-brother. But that thinking is exactly what hurt him today.
And he's right. He's so much more than just Aziel's brother.
The truth is, I need to get my head out of my ass and decide what I want. I can't keep going like this.
And whatever I decide, I sure as hell need to make it up to Sebastian.