Chapter 11
Jameson
We’re all gathered around the table in the break room with open pizza boxes laid out in front of us.
Sam is next to her brother, and I’m between Marcus and my father, with Luke and Billy across from me.
Luke and my father won’t even look at each other.
I’m not sure what’s going on there, and I honestly don’t want to know.
It’s not uncommon for them to act this way.
They always get over it sooner or later.
It’s hard to believe they’re brothers, that they were raised in a house with the same parents. How can two people who grew up together turn out so differently?
Sam sits back as everyone fights for a slice. Once all of us have taken a piece, she grabs one for herself.
The first few minutes are filled with silence, and not the comfortable kind. Eventually, Luke speaks up, trying to cut through the tensions like he always does. “Noticed you were reading,” he says to Sam.
She bounces her eyes from Luke to her brother then back to Luke again. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she pushes out.
Luke waves a hand. “Don't be. It can get boring sitting out there alone. Trust me, I know.”
She watches him wearily, like his words are a trap.
“I’m a big reader myself,” he says.
My father gives a condescending laugh, but Luke ignores him.
“You are?” Sam asks.
“Oh, yeah,” Luke answers. “Ask Billy.”
Billy nods. “If he doesn’t have a wrench in his hand, it’s a book.”
“Explains your lack of living in reality,” my father mumbles.
“What was that?” Luke grits out.
My father looks right at him. “You live in a fantasy world. Always have.”
Luke starts to respond, but my father cuts him off before he can get a word out.
“You have no idea the shit I do for you.” He pushes his plate away. “For this family.”
“Oh, give me a fucking break,” Luke snaps. “Keep telling yourself this is all for us. You know you only do what’s best for you.” Luke points to me. “You can’t even see what you’re doing to your own son.”
My father is up from his chair in an instant. “Don’t bring him into this.”
Sam’s attention slows on me, but I lower my eyes to the table, wanting nothing to do with this conversation. It’s not like they haven’t had it before.
“Outside,” my father demands.
Luke slides his chair back. “Gladly.”
They both storm out, and Marcus gets up to follow them. “Stay here,” he says to no one in particular, but I know he’s talking to me. The door slams shut behind him.
“You know what that was about?” Billy asks me.
I shake my head.
Johnny shifts in his seat. “They like this a lot?”
Billy sighs. “All the time.”
Johnny catches my eye, and there’s pity in his expression. I don’t forget how he saw my father hit me that first day he came in.
I turn from him to Sam, but there’s no pity on her face. Instead, she looks sad, like she understands, and that only makes me feel worse.
She clears her throat and turns to Johnny. “There’s a thing at the park tonight.” She motions to me and Billy. “Can I go with them?”
Johnny looks between us. “What kind of thing?”
“Just a few of us hanging out,” Billy says. “We go all the time.”
“What park?” he asks.
“The one off of Cromwell. We can walk.”
Johnny grabs another slice of pizza. “You’ll look out for her?”
“Of course,” Billy answers.
Johnny glances at me, and I nod.
“All right, sure. I’ll swing by after to pick you up.”
Sam smiles. “Thanks.”
He gives her a warning stare. “I’m trusting you.”
His words hold a story. Has she given him a reason not to trust her before?
“I’ll be fine,” she assures him.
Something passes between them before finally he nods. “We should get back,” he says, shifting his attention to me. “You think we’re good to go out there. Marcus said—”
I stand. “I’ll go look.”
Pushing open the door, I can hear Marcus talking to my father. I quietly take a few steps until I’m sure their voices are coming from the back room. I check the garage next and find Luke underneath a car.
Returning to the break room, I hover in the doorway. “We’re all good.”
I spend the rest of the day helping Billy and Luke in the garage, my muscles aching from the hours I put in earlier at the gym.
I’m not sure where Johnny went off to, but I’m relieved I haven’t been called in by Marcus or my old man.
I really don’t want to deal with him when he’s in a mood like this.
Luke has been pleasant, but he always is. I can tell by his short responses and the strain in his eyes that he’s still upset, though.
It’s just past six when he tells me and Billy that we can be done for the day. Billy lets him know that we’re heading out, and I stop by my father’s office to let him know, too. I brace myself for him to tell me that he needs me to stay back and help him with something, but he just waves me off.
When I get back to the front, Billy is already standing by Sam, who’s packing up her bag excitedly, throwing in all the things she has spread across the desk. She tosses it over her shoulder then ties up her hair and secures it with a clip she was holding in her mouth.
She has such a hectic energy to her, so different from how controlled I am. She kind of reminds me of Billy in that way.
I pull my sunglasses from where they’re tucked into the front of my shirt and slide them on. “You ready?”
She nods, coming around the desk.
When we step outside, she shuffles through her purse and grabs her own pair of sunglasses. They’re huge, covering half her face.
Billy laughs. “You look like a movie star.”
She smiles, but instead of answering, she digs through her purse again, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She waves the pack between us. “Either of you want one?”
Neither of us really smoke, so we both shake our heads.
She lights one, and I watch as she brings it to her lips.
Exhaling, she asks, “So, who’s gonna be there tonight?”
“Just a few of our friends,” Billy says. “They’re chill. You’ll like ’em.”
She nods, but looks unsure.
“A few of us are in a band together,” Billy adds.
“Really?” She looks up at me. “Are you in the band, too?”
I shake my head.
“Do you play any instruments?” Billy asks her.
She lets out a short laugh. “No.”
“What about sing?”
She takes another drag. “Absolutely not.”
“Well, you can be a groupie then.”
I quickly shoot him a glare. The last thing I want is all of those guys drooling over her.
Billy smirks. “Jameson’s a groupie, too.”
“I’m not a fucking groupie.”
“Do you come watch us practice?”
I stay silent.
“Did you come to our first show?”
I scowl at him.
“Are you gonna come to our show in a couple weeks?” He throws out his hand. “I don’t know what to tell you, man, but you’re definitely a groupie.”
“I’m not a groupie. I’m your cousin.”
Sam laughs.
“I’m just hanging out.”
“You can be in denial all you want,” Billy teases.
Sam turns toward him. “What kind of music do you guys play?”
“Rock.”
She shifts the bag on her shoulder. “All right, cool.”
“Do you want me to carry that for you?” I ask.
“What?”
“Your bag,” I say. “Do you want me to carry it for you? You keep fidgeting with it.”
“Oh, um, you don’t have to do that.”
I hold out my hand. “It’s no problem.”
I can’t tell because those ridiculous sunglasses cover so much of her face, but I think she blushes.
The bag slides down her shoulder, and then she passes it to me. “Thanks,” she murmurs.
“Jesus. What do you have in here?”
“You really don’t have to carry it,” she says.
I switch the bag to my other hand. “There’s no way I’m having you carry this now that I know how heavy it is.”
She rubs at her neck. “I like to have a lot of stuff with me. You never know where you’re gonna end up.”
I think about how her brother brought her with him that first day I met her. How she had to stay at the garage for hours.
I nod. “Makes sense.”
When we come up to the park, the guys start hollering at us. Billy races over to them, but I stay next to Sam.
Everyone is gathered around a picnic table. Some of them are sitting on top of it, while a few groups stand around. They all watch Billy approach, but one of the girls breaks away and starts toward him. It’s Madison, the blonde he was hanging around with at school.
“Is that Billy’s girlfriend?” Sam asks, watching the girl stop in front of him.
I shake my head. “Billy doesn’t do girlfriends.”
She glances over at me with a look that says, Do you?
I keep talking, just to fill the space, suddenly feeling restless. “She’s turned into a real cling-on.”
“A cling-on?”
“Girls know what they’re getting with him. He never promises them anything.” I look over at where they’re standing. “Some of them can’t take a hint.”
I expect her to think that’s harsh, but she only nods. “I’ve heard some girls talk about him,” she admits.
Has she heard people talk about me?
She seems to know that’s what I’m thinking because she continues on quickly. “They act like he’s a thing.”
I tilt my head. “What do you mean, a thing?”
“Like he’s not even a person.” She watches Billy with Madison. “But maybe that’s what he wants.”
We reach the table, and the conversation stops. Everyone glances from me to Sam, their eyes lingering on her. The way some of the guys are staring makes me tense, but I have no claim over her. Still, I take a step closer to her side.
As much as it pisses me off, I’m not surprised by their reactions. Sam’s the kind of pretty that you can’t help but notice. It’s not just on the surface, either; she’s got this way about her, this confidence, that you just … I don’t know … get pulled in by.
“Who’s this?” Mason asks.
“I’m Sam.” She pauses. Then, like she needs to offer more of an explanation, she adds, “I work at their garage.”
“Do you go to Lincoln? I’ve never seen you before.”
I watch his eyes trail her body, and I have to fight to stand still.
“I’d definitely remember if I had.”
“Yeah,” she answers. “I’ll be a sophomore this year.”
He watches her with interest. “Well, hope I see you around.”
Did he not see me coming over with her? Carrying her bag? Standing right by her fucking side?
I move even closer and lean down so just she can hear me. “Want a drink?”
“Sure,” she says.
I lead her over to a cooler. There are a few sodas and a couple cans of beer floating around in melted ice. She reads the question on my face and answers, “I’ll take a beer.”
I hand her one and grab a soda for myself. She cracks it open, the can hissing before she takes a sip.
“We can stay over here if you’d rather,” I tell her.
She peers over at the table. “No, it’s fine.”
I hold out my hand, and she looks up at me before taking it. Her hand is so much smaller than mine, so much softer.
I’ve never held a girl’s hand before. I never saw the point. But I want it to be clear as we walk back over to the table that even though she technically isn’t mine, she can’t be anyone else’s, either.
I climb up onto the table, above the spot I left her purse, and she sinks down on the bench below me, sitting between my legs.
I know everyone saw us come over. Saw her hand in mine. The way she’s sitting with me.
Good.
Mason doesn’t try anything with her after that.
We sit as everyone talks around us, sipping our drinks. Eventually, Billy comes over with Madison, his arm slung over her shoulders.
I guess he’s gone back to her tonight.
He was just complaining to me a few days ago that she wouldn’t leave him alone, that she keeps calling his house. I’ve told him that he’s confusing as fuck. He tells girls he’s done then goes back so many times that they never believe him when he says it.
She leans into him and looks at Sam. “Hi, I’m Madison,” she says, her voice pitched high.
Sam’s attention shifts from her to Billy, and I wish I could see the look on her face. I want to know if she finds this girl as ridiculous as I do. From the way she deadpans, “Hi, I’m Sam,” I’m pretty sure she does.
“Billy told me you work at the garage.”
Sam nods.
“That must be fun.” Madison beams. “Maybe I can come hang out, too.”
“Don’t think so,” I mutter.
She puffs out her bottom lip and turns to Billy, who throws me a dirty look.
“What he means is we’re working,” Billy tells her. “We can’t just have people hanging around.”
“I know,” she whines, and I seriously don’t understand how Billy can stand her grating voice. “But you’re always working. I never get to see you.”
Billy rolls his neck. “You’re seeing me right now.”
She deflates. “You’re right.” Forcing her face into a smile, she adds, “Sorry. I just miss you.”
He pulls her in tighter but doesn’t answer.
She turns her attention back to Sam. “Billy said you’re going to be a sophomore this year at Lincoln. We can all hang out.”
“Sure,” Sam mumbles halfheartedly.
“Do you play any sports?” Madison asks. “Or are you in any clubs?”
“No.”
“Oh,” Madison says. “Well, I’m on the cheerleading squad. You should try out next year.”
Sam looks down at herself then back up to Madison. “Not really my thing.”
Madison is in a little pink sundress and sandals, while Sam has on cutoff denim shorts, a tight black T-shirt that hits her belly button, and her dirty black Converse. They couldn’t look any more different if they tried.
Sam drains the rest of her beer and crushes the can under her foot. Madison jumps at the noise, and I have to keep myself from smiling.
Dylan comes up just as Sam is leaning back and starts talking to Billy about the upcoming show they’re playing.
They managed to get a daytime slot at this restaurant and bar called Rosette’s.
Madison keeps trying to insert herself into the conversation.
After the third time, Sam glances up at me and mouths, “What the fuck?”
I shake my head and try to cover the laugh that slips from my lips.
Sam stays by my side the whole night. She’s mostly quiet, but it seems like she’s having fun.
Eventually, headlights cut through the darkness, and we both know it’s her brother.
I don’t want her to leave, but I feel better when she says, “See you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I answer.
She tips her head toward the car. “Well, I’ve gotta go.”
I nod before she turns, watching her walk away.
Billy’s elbow nudges me. “I get it now,” he whispers.