Chapter 12
Sam
I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, or maybe ever.
I’ve been working at the garage for a few weeks now and, for the most part, it’s been great.
I get to see my brother all the time. Luke has been so kind.
Billy makes me laugh more than I think anyone ever has.
And Jameson … I don’t know what to think about Jameson.
It seems like that’s all I really do now, though … think about him.
The way he towers over me, glancing down with that almost smile he seems to reserve for just me.
The way I catch him watching me when he thinks I’m not looking.
The way he stops by the front desk to see me any chance he gets.
I can’t get him out of my mind.
And I don’t think I want to.
I hang out with him and Billy during breaks and after the shop has closed. Sometimes, Jameson’s father calls him away, or he’s gone training for his next fight, but he stays at the shop with us more times than not.
We talk or listen to music, although our favorite thing to do together is play gin. None of us have much money, so we bet whatever we can find. It’s fun.
The only part of it that isn’t great is Jameson’s father and knowing what goes on behind closed doors. The guy, Marcus, who’s always with him, gives me the creeps, too.
When I have to stay past closing, it’s because Johnny has to do things for the “unofficial” part of his job. It still scares me when I think about what he’s out there doing.
Hanging out with Billy and Jameson helps distract me, but sometimes that life even bleeds into those moments.
It happens when Jameson gets called away.
When I can see the weight of what he’s carrying in his eyes.
When he comes in with a new bruise or cut.
When he turns into a shell of himself the minute his father steps into the room.
Or when I hear the way his father speaks to him.
I wish there was something I could do. I know Billy feels the same way. Luke, too. But it’s almost like this unspoken thing that hangs in the air. We all know it’s going on, but nobody feels like they can stop it.
It’s the same way with the illegal shit we know they’re doing. It’s a clear divide with me, Billy, and Luke on one side and the rest of them on the other.
The strain between Levi and Luke is obvious, and it’s not getting any better. I think we’re all waiting for them to explode.
But even with all of that, I’m happy. With Jameson and Billy, it feels like I have a place where I fit in. Like I have actual friends.
Staring back at myself in the mirror, I finish touching up my eyeliner.
I got home from the shop about an hour ago, but Johnny and I are getting ready to head out again to go to Jameson’s fight. It took a lot of convincing for my brother to let me go. I had to promise to stay right by his side the whole time.
Jameson wasn’t at the shop today, and Luke won’t let Billy go, so I’m gonna surprise him. I thought it would be nice for Jameson to have at least one of us there.
I don’t know what to expect, though Billy told me he’s really good. He seems like he would be. But I’m not sure if I’ll be able to watch him take a hit.
Still, I want to be there.
A knock sounds at my door. “You ready?” Johnny asks.
I step back, glancing at myself in the mirror and running my fingers through my hair, shaking it out.
“Sam,” my brother calls.
“Coming!”
We walk through the empty living room. My father left for the bar a couple of hours ago and Carson wasn’t here when we got home.
Once we’re in the car, Johnny turns to me. “You sure you want to go?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
He stares out the windshield. After a minute, he says, “I don’t know.”
“You can’t baby me, Johnny. You have to let me do things. I’m not some helpless little girl.”
“I got you the job,” he says. “That’s doing something.”
“I know, and I’m grateful, really.” I set my bag down by my feet. “I just … I like Jameson. I want to be there for him.”
He softens. “All right, fine.” Throwing the car in drive, he shakes his head. “God knows that kid could use someone in his corner.” He pauses. “But you stay where I can see you, understood?”
“You’ve said that like five times already,” I say just to give him shit. “I already promised, didn’t I?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t get smart.”
I lean forward and switch on the radio before sinking back into my seat. We ride the rest of the way with the windows down and music blasting.
My eyes widen when we pull up to what looks like an abandoned warehouse. “Have you been here before?” I ask.
Johnny parks next to a line of cars. “Couple times.”
“But you didn’t …”
“No, I didn’t fight,” he clarifies. “Just bet.”
“Bet?”
He waves his hand. “Why do you think these people are all here?”
I look at the long row of cars and shrug.
“It’s not just for the show.”
He steps out of the car, and I push my door open to follow him.
The parking lot, if you can even call it that, has weeds growing through the cracked asphalt. There are broken beer bottles and abandoned cigarette butts. The place is a dump.
Loud voices and cheers filter from inside as we make our way closer to the entrance.
As we move inside, I realize a fight is already going on—people are gathered in a wide circle, outlining a makeshift ring. My heart races as I step onto my tiptoes to try to see if one of the guys is Jameson.
Johnny leans down so I can hear him over the noise. “His fight isn’t until later.”
I relax a bit, knowing he’s not out there, but then I tense again when the crowd erupts.
Someone starts counting, and then the crowd goes wild again.
As the winner walks away, the people around me shift, and a window opens, allowing me to see the ring. My eyes catch on the guy who lost, and I feel like I’m gonna be sick.
His body is beaten and bruised. He’s bleeding, but I can’t even tell where the blood is coming from.
Is that going to be Jameson?
Someone helps him up, and he’s able to walk away on his own, but he looks awful.
Johnny shifts closer to me. “You all right?”
I nod.
The next fight is over quickly. The one after that takes a bit longer.
We’re close enough now that I can just barely see, and the initial shock is starting to wear off a bit.
It’s still brutal and, at times, I have to look away, but I’m starting to get into it, calling out like the people around me.
Johnny watches it like a sport, which I guess it is.
As another fight ends, he pulls money out of his pocket, handing it to someone and yelling a name over the noise—Jameson.
He turns back to me and finds me watching him. “He’s next.”
A voice announces Jameson, and I stand on my tiptoes again, scanning the room for him.
Across from me, there’s a break in the circle, and I see him walk through. He’s in jeans … just jeans.
My face heats at the sight of him.
His chest is tanned, and as he brings a hand up to push the dark hair out his face, the muscles in his arm flex. I notice a tattoo on his shoulder that I didn’t know he had. It looks like maybe a skull.
His father walks behind him, and once they stop at the edge of the circle, he leans over to say something into Jameson’s ear. I watch as Jameson stares back at him and nods.
His father steps back, and then I jump when his hand comes down against Jameson’s cheek. He shouts something I can’t hear, and Jameson shouts something back. They do it again and again until Jameson is clearly fired up.
The guy he’ll be fighting is announced, someone named Kayden.
I drag my eyes away from Jameson and see his opponent walk into the circle.
He’s about fifty pounds heavier and maybe ten years older, but I’d still put money on Jameson.
The guy’s big, but he doesn’t look like he spends nearly as much time training.
He bounces from foot to foot then paces from side to side like he can’t get his energy out fast enough.
I look back at Jameson. Where Kayden is chaos, Jameson is pure control.
His father has faded back into the crowd, while Jameson stands still, watching his opponent.
A voice yells fight, and Kayden instantly moves forward. He throws a punch, but Jameson dodges it easily, like he saw it coming.
He circles Kayden, who tries to land another punch, but before he can right himself, Jameson’s fist connects with his cheek.
I suck in a breath.
Kayden stumbles back, shakes his head, and then charges Jameson. He goes for Jameson’s face but, when he misses, quickly switches to his stomach. He connects, and Jameson hunches over, the wind knocked out of him.
Fuck.
He recovers quickly, moving out of Kayden’s reach before he can land another hit.
Kayden takes two quick steps and is suddenly in front of Jameson again, but Jameson swings out a leg, and Kayden trips back, allowing him to get in another hit.
People start cheering, and I hear myself joining in.
“Finish him,” my brother yells.
Jameson’s fist connects with Kayden’s jaw then stomach, making him stagger back.
“Yes!” I yell.
He’s gonna win. He’s gonna be fine.
Kayden slows, and Jameson stands in place. It’s a stand-off, both of them waiting for the other to make a move.
I’m not surprised when it’s Kayden who moves forward, and neither is Jameson. He ducks when Kayden throws his arm out, going for another hit to Kayden’s stomach. He gets the hit in, but Kayden swipes his foot out, throwing Jameson off balance and forcing him to his back.
The crowd goes crazy as Kayden pins Jameson to the ground, and panic courses through me.
“I can’t see him!” I yell to my brother. “I can’t see Jameson!”
There’s fear in Johnny’s eyes, but there’s nothing he can do.
I can see Kayden moving over him, but I can’t see what’s happening to Jameson. All I know is he isn’t getting up.
I search the crowd for his father. There’s anger on his face, and he’s screaming something I can’t hear.
Time slows down.
I keep waiting for Jameson to get up, but he doesn’t.
It starts to feel like I can’t breathe.
Is he okay?
Why isn’t anyone doing anything?
“Tap out,” I hear my brother say.
I shift, desperately trying to see him. Finally, he manages to roll out from under Kayden.
The crowd gets so loud I have to bring my hands up to my ears to cover them. I didn’t realize until now that I’m shaking.
Jameson pushes himself up, and I close my eyes when I see him, hoping that when I open them, he won’t have blood dripping down his chest anymore.
Obviously, that doesn’t work.
I blink my eyes open and fully take him in. There’s a cut dripping blood above his eye. He’s slightly hunched like he can’t quite hold the weight of his body. And he starts to go fucking crazy.
The control he started the fight with is gone.
He launches at Kayden, cracking him so hard with his fist that Kayden drops to his knees.
Jameson kicks him so he’s flat on his back and stands over him.
He waits a few seconds then rears back to kick him again but stops before his foot connects when Kayden begins hitting his hand against the ground.
“Winner,” a voice yells.
I exhale, my shoulders slumping forward.
He won.
Jameson won.