Chapter 38 #2
My meltdown earlier has sapped me of the energy needed to explain just how much my day sucked, so I downplay it. “It’s hard to explain. It didn’t feel like a family party, more like a random get-together with strangers. Which I guess it was.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. I wanted to be there for you.”
Disappointment is a deep ache as I remember the day’s events. “I would have loved you there. I miss you. But I get it, your sister needed you.”
“I miss you too, darling. You don’t know how much I can’t wait to get back to you. Breathe you in and let the Georgia effect take hold.”
I smile, halfway hooked by his charm like always. “The Georgia effect?”
“That’s right. One look at you and my heart settles right down like we’re home.”
Emotion tugs at my chest unexpectedly, joy at being that person in his life, but bitterness too. Because today, more than ever, I needed Cash to be that person for me, and we don’t get a do-over.
Sadness stirs inside me as I stand over the dining table, scanning the photos I’d hoped to make the center of attention the day before.
These faces staring back at me have been such a source of fascination since I first cracked open that box in the study.
Hell, they were the reason I wanted a family reunion in the first place.
I wanted them to mean something to me the way they meant something to the person who’d carefully arranged them into leather albums and penned names and dates on the backs of each photo in elegant script, but it’s not to be.
If I’d thought my relatives would be the link I needed between me and the people in those old snapshots, I was wrong.
My scant and blurry memories of the years before my parents passed away will have to be enough.
I’m sliding the albums back into the cardboard box upstairs when my phone rings and Maisy’s name rolls across the screen.
“Hey!” I answer brightly. Probably too brightly. Am I supposed to act somber?
“Hey, you. Sorry I missed your call earlier.” Maisy sounds subdued but otherwise herself. “How are you?”
“Doing well, just back at my usual, packing away some old junk. How are you? Cash had me worried about you.”
She groans. “That man. I finally got him out of my room. Sent him to the store in the next town over in search of Easter-colored M&M’s just to get a little alone time.”
I chuckle. “He certainly has a protective side.”
“That’s a nice way of putting it.”
“So…how are you?”
She pauses. “I’m okay, actually. That probably sounds like a lie, but it’s true. I know what I need, and I’m getting it.”
“I’m really glad.” I hesitate as regret unspools inside me at all the days Maisy and I spent angry at each other and all the time our friendship will never get back. “I should have noticed something wasn’t right.”
“Georgia, don’t. This is my stuff, not your responsibility. I didn’t want you to know.”
Somehow this feels worse. “But you’re going to let me know if I can do something for you, right?”
“Promise I will. You know I’m not shy about making my needs known. So tell me about you. Still in mad party-planning mode?”
“Oh, that’s done, thank god. The party was yesterday.”
“Wait, already? Well, how’d it go?”
“Good,” I say too quickly. “I mean…okay, it was weird. Awkward. Kinda felt like no one actually wanted to be there.”
“Oh, Georgia,” she coos, sympathy dripping from her tone.
“No, it’s fine. In some ways, it’s a good thing. Reminds me I wasn’t missing much all these years.”
“Yeah,” she says unconvincingly. “So if it was yesterday, was Cash there for any of it?”
“No,” I say, trying to sound neutral.
“Shit, I’m sorry. He should have been there. I told him I didn’t want him coming up here, but you know Cash, he’s nothing if he’s not hardheaded and—”
“You told him not to come see you?”
“Right.”
My heart thumps uncomfortably. “I thought you wanted him there.”
“Quite the opposite. I told him no, but he insisted he had nothing else going on.” Met with my silence, Maisy stumbles.
“Oh. Hold on, I know he didn’t mean it that way.
I think he was trying to be casual about the fact he followed me here when he wasn’t needed or wanted.
We both know he can be…” She’s quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, Georgia.”
“No, don’t be. It’s fine. He’s exactly where he should be.”
“Look, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Don’t think he doesn’t care, okay? Please? He makes a lot of boneheaded decisions, but it doesn’t mean anything.”
I swallow, forcing a smile onto my lips that I hope will carry into my voice. “Seriously, you don’t have to say any more. It’s a weird set of circumstances all around. You focus on you for now, okay?”
“Okay,” she says in a small voice that tells me my phony smile isn’t covering up a thing.
“So can I call you again? Tomorrow or the next day, maybe?”
“Anytime. I’d love it.”
The second the call ends, tears spring to my eyes, my own foolishness bashing me over the head.
I try to tell myself it’s not that bad. On paper, what did he do that was so wrong?
He thought his sister was in crisis, and he went to her.
What kind of man would he be if he didn’t choose her over my silly little party.
But I can’t be convinced. Because he couldn’t answer a simple text until hours later.
Because he told his sister he had nothing better to do.
Because he wasn’t wanted there and he went anyway, and he was needed here at my side and he didn’t show.