Chapter 20 Hazel #2
The conversation moved on to chatter about Kiara’s failed dating attempts, and any interest in my predicament fell to the wayside. It wasn’t like I demanded to be the center of attention, but it still kind of stung.
Zoe swayed beside me, half-listening to the conversation. She glanced over when she caught my stare and smiled like she didn’t have a care in the world, like she sensed my pain but only just barely.
This was my closest friend. She was the one I’d had my first sleepover with. The girl I’d choreographed cheesy dances with in my garage. The first person I called the night I lost my virginity in senior year.
But the distance between us had grown. We texted sometimes, talked even less, and lately, saw each other almost never. I didn’t like her any less, but the closeness we’d once shared just…wasn’t there anymore.
We’d been drifting for years, if I was being honest with myself.
Maybe I was partially to blame, getting caught up in a relationship and all, but if I thought about it, hanging out with Zoe didn’t make me feel good anymore.
It was okay when it was just the two of us, but it was never just the two of us.
She always dragged around a clique of people who never seemed to care for me much.
It was past time I found some friends who actually liked me. That was possible, right? I might have thought otherwise a couple of weeks ago. Until Reid.
“I think I’m going to call it a night,” I announced, standing.
“What no! Don’t go.” Zoe grabbed my hand and tried to pull me back down, but I just patted it and gently extracted myself.
“Happy Birthday, Zoe. Get home safe, okay?” I hugged her and she loosely wrapped her arms around me.
“Stay,” she pouted.
“It’s getting late and I’m pretty tired.”
“It’s not even eleven,” Kiara said, sounding bored.
I shrugged and offered them a small wave, eager to get out of there as quickly as possible. “Night.”
Before I could turn away, I saw Kiara’s eyes widen and look behind me. A presence hovered near me.
Hands grabbed onto my shoulders, and I let out a yelp of surprise, ready to put my nonexistent self-defense moves into action. But when I turned, I collided with a broad chest. I looked up to see a familiar face.
Reid.
My whole body sagged with relief. “What are you doing here?” I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my lips.
“Are you alright?” he demanded, eyes scanning my face.
“I’m fine. I was just leaving.”
He blew out a breath and raked a hand through his hair. I realized he looked frazzled.
“This your detective?” Zoe asked with a smirk.
I nodded.
“See, hot,” she said to the rest of the girls. I think it was her attempt at a whisper, but her voice still carried over the bar noise.
Reid’s cheeks flushed as he jerked his gaze from me to the table of women.
I grabbed onto his arm and stood on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Can we get out of here?”
“Yes,” he said.
Without even a wave of acknowledgement, he pulled me away from the table.
I didn’t miss Kiara’s surprise as she stared at Reid.
A petty part of myself filed that in my “win” folder.
Because Reid was hot, especially with this whole dark, smoldering look he had going on right now.
The fact that he didn’t even give Kiara the time of day pleased me more than it should.
The bar was packed nearly shoulder to shoulder as Reid guided me through. Bodies banged into mine even as he tried his best to shield me. When we finally made it to the front, away from the blasting music, he paused before the exit.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, eyes scanning my face.
I nodded. “How did you find me?”
“You said this was the bar you were going to. What happened?” he asked, eyes still studying me.
“I’m fine, why—oh, shoot. The text. My bad. I was going to ask if you could call me with an excuse so I could leave early, but I ended up just growing a pair and excusing myself.”
He let out a deep sigh of relief and removed his hand from my shoulders to run his fingers through his hair. “Shit, Hazel. You scared me. You need to add some more context.”
“You didn’t text me back,” I said.
“I did.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and waved it in my face. “Three times. Then I called you. Twice.” The worry lines were still etched in his forehead.
I scrambled to pull my phone back out, but I had no new notifications. There was an SOS icon in the corner, though. “Shoot, sorry. I guess the service in here isn’t great. The signal must have been going in and out when I sent that.”
He lifted his gaze to the ceiling and shook his head. “Do me a favor? Next time, don’t just text ‘Need help.’ Okay?”
“You got it,” I said, warmth flooding my chest despite his frustration. He cared. He cared and he came. For me.
“Let’s go home,” he said. Those words had my entire nervous system on high alert. I knew he just meant ‘home’ in the logistical sense, but I liked the way it sounded coming from him.
Reid took me by the hand and ushered me outside.
Once the frosty evening air hit, I slipped on my jacket. Reid led us to his car, parked just down the street. The sidewalks buzzed with a handful of people milling about, switching bars or in search of food after a night out.
“So how was it?” he asked, opening the passenger car door and letting me spill in first.
“Fine.” My answer was clipped.
He circled around and slipped into the driver’s seat. He gave me a once-over, his expression tightening. “You don’t look fine. Was it Kiara? Did something happen?”
A defeated sigh escaped my lips. “No, not really. We can rule her out as a suspect, though. She clearly doesn’t need any extra money and, apparently, she’s deathly allergic to cats.”
Reid grimaced. “I mean, she was a loose theory, but it’s still good to check her off the list.”
I nodded. Instead of starting the car, he continued to stare at me.
“Hazel, what’s wrong. You’re being quiet?”
A soft laugh escaped my lips. He was always so observant. “Are you trying to tell me I’m normally loud? Because I hate to break it to you, Reid, but you haven’t seen the worst of me.”
“What’s the worst of you?”
“Well, for one, don’t even think about dragging me to karaoke. I’ll hog the machine all night. And post me up in front of a bad horror movie, and I promise you I’ll talk through the entire thing. It doesn’t even matter if we’re in the theater.”
“Something to look forward to.”
“My commentary is unmatched.”
He smiled, but it faded quickly. He was completely turned in his seat, assessing me. “Seriously, Hazel. Talk to me. Your shoulders are hunched, you can barely look at me. You seem…sad.”
I briefly met his concerned gaze. “I guess I am a little sad. I don’t really like hanging out with those girls.”
“I thought they were your friends.”
“Kind of. Not really.” I blew out a breath.
“Zoe was always my friend, and they were her friends. We hung out in high school and a bit after graduation, before I moved. But I never fit in. I thought Zoe and I were still good, but we’ve definitely been growing distant for a while.
I think tonight I finally came to the realization that we aren’t that close anymore.
Kind of sucks, is all. It’s okay, nothing has changed.
Just my perception of our relationship.”
Reid nodded, taking in my words. “You know that saying. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or forever. Maybe your season is just coming to an end.”
Tears formed in my eyes as soon as he said the words. That was my saying. How many times had Gran said those exact words to me?
Reid seemed to register my crumpled face and backpedaled. “I’m sorry. Was that the wrong thing to say? Crap. I didn’t want to make you feel worse.”
“No it’s f-fine.” My voice shook. “It’s just…
every person that has ever come into my life has been for a reason or for a season.
I’ve got no forevers. That was Gran, and now she’s gone.
I thought Zoe was a forever, but she’s not.
Or even if she is, she’s a distant forever.
Like maybe we’ll always talk but we’ll never be that close, y’know?
Not ‘sleepover, going on trips together, talk about everything and anything,’ close. ”
Reid continued to study me.
“You’ll find your forevers, Hazel.”
“I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I’ve made it twenty-five years without much to show. Some people aren’t that likable.”
“You’re likable,” he said.
“And you’re kind.” A few tears fell but I was beyond the point of being embarrassed by them. If I trusted anyone to see me in my most vulnerable state, it was Reid.
“I’m not saying it to be kind.” His finger and thumb brushed my chin. He gently pulled my face around so that I’d be forced to look at him. “I’m saying it because it’s true. I’ve never met anyone like you, Hazel.”
“Exactly the problem.” I lifted my hands as if to say, ‘see.’
“You wear your emotions on your sleeve. You go through life like every day is different. You don’t take anything too seriously. You look for beauty where there is none, and you create adventures out of nothing. You don’t have a way you take your coffee.”
“Coffee?” He’d lost me.
Reid sighed. “I like to pick up on the little things, like how people take their coffee. I store the information away and use it to be thoughtful in the future. But you take it differently every time. Sometimes black, with sugar, without. You bought some weird nut creamer last time we were at the grocery store. Sometimes it’s vanilla and sometimes it’s hazelnut. ”
“So what? It’s all delicious. Life’s too short to drink my coffee the same way every day.”
“Exactly.” He pinched my chin lightly before dropping his hand. I missed his touch as soon as it was gone. “That’s how you live life. Fuck routines; you make the ordinary into something new and exciting.”
“It’s coffee, Reid.” I shook my head. “I’m not adventurous. I’ve never even been out of the country before.”