Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
ATLAS
I never imagined getting injured would be something I was thankful for, but I’m really starting to think it was a blessing in disguise. I don’t even care that Calvin seemed a little hesitant when it came to saying yes… because I could see the warmth lurking behind the apprehension.
I could see how he was looking at me.
I might not be the best person morally, but I’m very good at reading people. I can’t quite get him pinned down, but I know Calvin is interested in me.
Well… interested enough that I can excuse how curious I am about him.
And… coffee. Coffee is a pretty normal date, right? I’m not going to call North and ask him for advice on what to do for a first date, even if I haven’t been on one since before he was born.
I thought about asking Ranen, who’d stayed at the hospital with me until I was discharged, but… that would just get back to North too.
I could wing it. It might have been a while, but I was pretty resourceful. I could figure it out.
And honestly, something about Calvin felt… natural.
Right.
I shake the thoughts away and run my fingers through my hair, glancing at myself in the mirror. Streaks of gray pepper the dark strands, dancing through my beard. I don’t look old… but I definitely didn’t look like this the last time I was trying to win someone over.
Shit, I haven’t even thought about relationships since Julia died. I haven’t thought about anything but making sure my kids are safe, that they know how to function in a world that would like to make sure people like us aren’t out and about in polite society.
Maybe it’s just a father’s opinion, but I think they’ve both done a great job cleaning up the trash—and Ranen is keeping North mostly on the straight and narrow.
He was only a little smug when he showed up at the house and pointedly looked between me and the man on the lawn, then back to the dead body in front of me.
He didn’t have to say shit for me to know he was going to hold this over my head the next time he ended up making a mess and had to call me for help.
That was fine. I didn’t run into Keegan’s men that often, and I usually did a better job making sure I cleaned up after myself when I was done with them.
North didn’t even question why I’d killed the men.
That was one good thing about calling him…
he didn’t think it was strange for there to be a body or two whenever he showed up.
He didn’t wonder if the men had deserved what happened to them.
He just gave Ranen a kiss and told him to drive carefully before we took off.
North is great for dead bodies… but…
My eyes flick to my phone and I frown. I’m not going to text my son to ask how long is an appropriate amount to wait until I show up at Calvin’s work to take him out for that coffee we were talking about… I’m aware he ended up moving in with Ranen before he’d even asked permission.
As much as the thought sounds good to me, I’m going to go about this a little more conventionally.
I decide the best option is to wait until the cut on my side has started to heal—the last thing I need to do is bust a stitch while on a date.
“A date.” I murmur the word beneath my breath and feel the corner of my mouth tug into a slight smile. It’s… nice. For a long time, I’d wondered if I’d ever want to put myself out there again.
It’s… complicated, with who I am and who I have to protect.
I don’t know exactly why I think I can risk it with Calvin, but I trust my instincts enough to believe I’m not wrong.
I do end up texting Ranen, already feeling like a bit of an ass doing it, but…
Me: Are flowers still something you bring on a first date?
I do a quick stretch as I shoot off the message. The stitches in my side pull slightly—I’m going to have to hunt down Keegan once and for all sooner rather than later…
Especially if I’m actually thinking about letting someone else get close to me.
I’ve been content killing his men, imagining how every day he gets to wake up and wonder if it’s the last day he’s alive, if it’s the day I finally get tired of killing other people and I come for him.
But maybe it’s time to put an end to that.
I…
Ranen: You’re going on a date?
Ranen: With Calvin?
Ranen: Yeah, flowers are good. I mean, I’d like flowers, but…
Ranen: Really? A date?
I stare at the string of texts with a small frown. Is it such an odd concept that I might be taking someone on a date? And…
With a sigh, I peck out another question.
Me: What kind of flowers do you like?
I take a moment to imagine the look on North’s face if he saw that text without realizing who it was from and chuckle.
Ranen: Tiger lilies
Me: Thanks.
I take a few days to hunt down a shop that actually has tiger lilies in stock, and by the time I pull up in front of the hospital with the bouquet in my passenger seat, I’m surprised that I’m feeling… a little on edge.
Shit, when was the last time I felt nervous? I didn’t think killers were supposed to feel nervous. I didn’t feel this way when I was killing someone.
I didn’t feel this way when I was torturing someone.
Hell, I didn’t feel this way when I was being tortured.
So what is it about sitting in my car in the parking lot of a hospital that’s tying my stomach in knots?
I spot Calvin a few minutes later—he looks tired after his shift, but damn me if he honestly isn’t one of the most gorgeous people I’ve ever seen.
Tall and thin, with plenty of muscle definition.
Light brown skin that glows, even when I’m pretty sure he’s been working for hours.
Dark brown eyes, kissable lips, and a button nose that makes him look years younger than he probably is. He’s stunning.
There’s just something about him. Maybe it’s his looks, or maybe it’s the way his eyes light up in amusement and excitement for a flash before his expression drops to a mixture of guarded and curious when he sees me.
“You remember when I said you weren’t waiting around for me after work? Did we forget about that, Mr. Sinclair?” And then his dark brows dip slightly and his eyes drop to my side. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine.” I take a step forward and actually feel the slightest tinge of heat on my face as I hold out the flowers to him.
He stares at them for a second and I wonder if it’s too much.
Maybe I should have just found someone he really didn’t like and killed them for him instead?
That’s what North would have told me to do…
but then he leans forward and takes the bouquet, and the soft sound of the plastic crinkling mixes with the gentle inhale of his breath.
“I guess you’re forgiven.”
Warmth blossoms from that nervous knot in my stomach, spilling through my chest and spreading along my ribcage. It constricts my heart, and I can’t stop the soft, easy smile that crosses my face.
“I wasn’t sure when you wanted to get that coffee, but I thought I’d show my face so you didn’t forget you agreed to it.” My grin doesn’t fade when he gives me a slightly exasperated look, but I notice he gently brushes the flowers against his cheek again.
“I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t let me forget about it even if I tried.” Even though the words are chiding, I can hear the soft amusement in his tone.
He’s probably right, but that’s beside the point.
“Come on now, sweetheart.” I put on my best charming grin. “I’d have to be a real asshole to let you forget now that you finally agreed to go out with me.”
“I…” Calvin pauses, and then finally shakes his head and pulls his phone out. “We can go now if you want.” Before the smile on my face can get bigger, he fixes me with a look. “Might as well get it over with, right?”
I can tell he’s half playing when he says it, but I still catch up with him when he starts walking before he decides to run away instead.
There’s an entire strip of little businesses within walking distance of the hospital—I’d checked it earlier when I was looking for nearby coffee shops—and it looks like that’s exactly where he’s headed.
“I’ll have you agreeing to a dinner date before we’re finished.” I’m glad I sound confident. The truth is, if he said no, I’d probably just find another convenient way to show up at the hospital.
Now that I know he’ll be there to stitch me up, it seems pretty worth it.
“You’re certainly welcome to try to convince me.” I can hear it chasing the edges of his chastising tone… and I can see it in his eyes when I look up at him.
Calvin wants me to try.