Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
CALVIN
Chill out, heart. It’s a fine man, yes, but he’s still just a man. Just a man. ONLY a man.
My pep talk isn’t working as Atlas keeps step beside me. I have to fight not to look at him—at his handsome face, his easy smile, his dancing eyes.
It’s early as fuck, and Atlas looks as if he’s just woken from a twenty-four-hour nap.
Makes me feel self-conscious.
I did nothing to make myself look less fucking exhausted after a fourteen-hour shift. It was supposed to be twelve, but one of the nurses on shift asked to come in early because her partner had to work and they didn’t have a sitter.
I’m fucking beat.
But seeing Atlas standing there with the beautiful bouquet of tiger lilies? How did he know they were my favorites? A better question, how did he get them at this hour? It’s not like they’re just sitting out in convenience stores or something.
“These are beautiful,” I murmur, taking a sniff of the flowers again, the spicy scent dancing in my nose. “Thank you. It’s been a while since I’ve been given flowers.”
“Yeah?” His eyes brighten at my words, his smile widening. “I’m glad you like them. Are you hungry? The shop we’re going to is supposed to have great coffee… well, shit, coffee probably isn’t good if you want to sleep anytime soon. They have tea, I think?”
“Tea is good. I know the shop you mean. It’ll be nice to sit down for a few minutes.”
His smile drops. “Hm, I should have given you a ride. You’ve been on your feet for hours. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s nice to get some fresh air after being cooped up for fourteen hours.”
Atlas opens the door to the coffee shop for me. I breathe in the scent, a smile spreading across my tired face. If I weren’t exhausted, I’d have a cup. But coffee turns me into a live wire, and I’d be up for hours when I just want to curl up with my body pillow and crash.
Beside me, Atlas sighs. I glance at him, seeing the torn look on his face. “Fourteen hours. You should really be in bed, and here I am being selfish and dragging you out.”
I place my hand on his wrist, the warmth of his body nice under my palm. “Atlas, it’s okay, I promise.”
His smile flickers back to life, mischief dancing in his eyes. “I told you I’d get you to say my name.”
I snort as we approach the register. I order a breakfast sandwich and green tea—I’ve only had a fucking banana all day and I’m starved—while Atlas only grabs a cup of black coffee.
I tick up an eyebrow, but he simply shrugs. “I don’t usually eat breakfast.”
After our order is called, we grab our items and sit down at a table near a window, the sun shining in on us. I close my eyes and grin, loving the feel of it against my skin.
When I open my eyes, I see Atlas looking at me, expression unreadable. Almost entranced?
No, that can’t be right. I’m just me, and he’s… well, a whole ass snack, like Shameka said. I’m sure he has all the men and women trailing behind him. No reason for him to look at me as if he thinks I’m the sun.
“What?” I ask, discreetly trying to rub my face, just in case I have something there.
Atlas shakes himself, a smile on his face. “Nothing. It’s just…” He shrugs. “You look beautiful.”
I snort again, shaking my head. “Yeah, okay. After my shift, I look like a zombie.”
I think Atlas will joke, but his face turns serious. “Mmm, I don’t think so. Every time I’ve seen you, you look good.”
Heat creeps up my cheeks, and I have to look away from his intense gaze. I’ve gotten plenty of compliments, but Atlas is so earnest, so… honest. I know he means it… not to try and get in my pants or anything, but because he wants me to know.
A soft chuckle leaves his lips. “Did I embarrass you?”
“No. It’s just been a while since I’ve been on a date. I’m a little rusty.”
“Me too. How long for you?”
I shrug, even though I know… three years, six months, two weeks, four days, and eighteen hours.
Round about that long. Shameka gave up on blind dates after I turned down the last guy who was too pompous for my liking.
But Atlas doesn’t need to know that.
“A while.” I bring my tea to my lips to take a sip. “You?”
“Close to twenty years.”
I almost choke on my tea. “Jesus. You got me beat.”
“Yeah.” He chuckles, but it sounds hollow. There’s a story there, but a first date is not the time to ask about it.
We sit in awkward silence for a few minutes, looking anywhere but at each other.
This is why I don’t date. What do you even talk about?
My ex and I were friends since we were kids.
We kinda just started dating without actually asking each other out.
There was no “courting” phase, no real “getting to know you” phase.
We already knew each other and didn’t have to discover each other’s secrets.
No, his secret was thrust upon me when I thought I knew him.
I sigh as I run my finger through the condensation on my cup. I don’t like thinking about Mitchell. He intrudes on my thoughts at the worst possible times, like when I’m out with a handsome guy, trying to put myself out there again.
“I’m sorry,” Atlas says and I snap my head up.
“Huh?”
“You’re tired and I asked you here. I just… I really like you, Calvin.”
A tired grin crosses my face. “You don’t know me, Mr. Sinclair.”
He grins back. “Atlas. And I know. But I want to.”
“Why? So I can stitch you up next time you hurt yourself?”
Atlas laughs and I kinda swoon at how beautiful and rich it sounds. It reminds me of how lonely I really am that I’m caught up on a man’s laugh.
“Yeah, well,” he says, looking me up and down. “It would be nice to see you walking around in your scrubs while I was your patient.”
“Mind out of the gutter, Mr. Sinclair.”
His smile is wide and adorable. “How did you get into nursing?”
“I’ve always wanted to be a nurse. I like helping people.
My mom got sick when I was a kid and there was this nurse who came to check on her all the time.
She kept Mom company and made sure she was recovering, even after Mom was discharged.
She was amazing and I told my mom I wanted to do that when I grew up. ”
“So you love your job?”
“I do. It’s rewarding.” Exhaustion blankets me, but I shake it off. “Tiring, but rewarding. What about you?”
“I’m not a nurse.” I give him a dry look and he laughs in that way that sends shivers flicking over my skin. “I’ve always worked with my hands. As I got older, I decided I wanted to work for myself, so I opened my own company. It’s small, but it pays the bills.”
“And you work with your sons?”
“One of them, yeah.” He smiles—beams, really. “You’ve met North. My oldest, Wylder, is a free spirit. He does his own thing, but he used to work with us. I’m proud of my boys. They’re both doing well.”
I find myself smiling with him, loving the pride in his tone. “I can tell. You and North seemed extremely close.”
“We are. After his mother died, they were all I had.”
My smile drops, as does his. “I’m sorry to hear that.” I place my hand on his and Atlas looks at it, an unreadable look crossing his face. “You wanna talk about it?”
He looks at me with a grin. “Not on a first date. Can’t scare you away too early.” He winks and I can’t help but chuckle.
I let my hand rest on his arm for another few seconds, then withdraw, not wanting to overstep. It is our first date, and even though we haven’t talked about much, I’m interested in a second one.
I don’t know what it is about Atlas, but I feel a connection to him. A tenuous draw that I can’t shake. Over time, it could become stronger.
Do I want that? Yes, he gives me vibes that he has secrets—more secrets than I could probably suss out—but he’s also charming, good looking, very flirty, funny. I don’t know, Atlas Sinclair has my attention.
“You think there will be a second date?” I ask, twirling my straw as my cheeks burn.
Why am I feeling so fucking shy? I’m not this person.
But Atlas makes my heart race. At work I can get away, using patients as an excuse when he overwhelms me.
Here, in this coffee shop, I have his undivided attention and it’s a little unnerving.
Atlas leans forward, his eyes drifting down my body. God, why does heat bloom over my skin from just that short perusal? I’m too out of practice for this.
“Yeah, I do. But dinner this time.”
“I have… I work night shift. I told you that.”
“For the rest of your career?”
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “No. I have two weeks on night shift, two days off after that, then I go back to day shift.”
“I can wait two weeks for a second date. Or I can meet you after work and we can go out for coffee again.”
“Both,” I blurt out. Eager much?
“I can definitely do both.” Atlas grins like he’s won a prize. “Can I have your number? I’d like to call you in between now and our second date.”
If this damn goofy smile doesn’t drop from my face…
Clearing my throat, I nod and pull out my phone. “Yeah, sure. Okay. Umm…” I giggle, feeling like a teenager again. It’s been so long since I’ve been flirted with, since someone has given me this level of attention without the intention of taking me to bed. Just… wanting a date. Wanting to talk.
It’s too soon to be this fucking foolish.
I blame tiredness after a long shift. The giddiness is getting to my head.
But sitting across from Atlas, I don’t even feel tired.
I feel exhilarated. And isn’t that wild because we haven’t even talked about much.
Having his attention in a way I’ve never experienced before is heady.
I might be in trouble.
Fuck it. I’ve closed myself off for so long, it would be nice to have a nice man who wants to get to know me.
Fighting back my nerves, I rattle off my number to Atlas. He punches it into his phone and then calls me so I have his. “Save me under Atlas. I think you’ve called me Mr. Sinclair enough,” he says with that beautiful smile tipping up his lips.
Just to be a brat, I show him that I save him under Mr. Sinclair.
“You’ll pay for that,” he comments with humor in his tone.
“Will I? I like calling you Mr. Sinclair. Why change it up?”
“Because I like when you say my first name. You make it sound sexy.”
Fuck me on a bike. How smooth is this man? Crazy thing is, I don’t think this is game. I think this is who Atlas is—honest and upfront.
“I’ll think about it,” I say shyly, thumbing over the plastic that’s wrapped around the flowers. I can’t believe he brought me these. It’s been years since I’ve received flowers and more still since someone brought me my favorites.
“You do that, Calvin.” He nods down at my food. “You should probably eat. You worked hard today.”
“How do you know that?”
“I can tell. You care about your patients, so you wouldn’t slack off. Did you eat lunch?”
“No. I had a snack.”
He gives me a stern look that makes my cock twitch. “Eat, Calvin. Then I’ll drive you home.”
I pick up my sandwich and take a bite, making a show of chewing. The sandwich is cold, but no less good because of it.
Around my mouthful of food, I say, “I drove myself.”
“You look like you’re about to fall over. I don’t feel good about you driving home exhausted, especially when I’ve added to it. I’ll pick you up for work tonight. Just… let me take you home to make sure you’re safe.”
Be fucking still, my heart.
He’s right, though. I live about twenty minutes away and I don’t think I’ll make it home without risking falling asleep. If I’d left the hospital right after my shift, I would have been fine. Now, I don’t think I can keep my eyes open much longer.
I don’t know Atlas. He could easily hurt me when we’re alone, but I don’t think he will. I feel good around him, safe. Something is pushing me to go for it, to take a leap and trust.
After I eat another bite of my sandwich, I nod and say, “Okay. Thank you.”
His smile is bright and a little smug, but I allow it without comment.
We chat about nothing while I finish my food, every bite making me more tired than the one before. By the time I’m done eating, my eyes droop and I’m ready to climb into bed.
But I’m not upset that I agreed to this date with Atlas. He’s a nice man. And handsome. And really fucking charming. I had a great time with him, even though I probably should have gone home to sleep.
“Okay, Nurse Hayes,” he says as he gets up from his chair. “Let me get you home.”
I look up at him with tired eyes. “I don’t think we can have morning dates after a fourteen-hour shift.”
“That’s okay. I’m a patient man.”
That he is.
We throw out our trash and, with my flowers clutched to my chest, leave the coffee shop.
Atlas leads me to his car, which is parked right in front of the hospital. Like the gentleman he is, he opens the door for me, helps me inside, then actually clamps my seatbelt.
He’s inches from my face, so close I can smell his clean skin and light cologne. I breathe him in, trapping his scent in my lungs. God, he’s intoxicating.
I have to be sleep drunk.
Atlas turns to me, his eyes bouncing from mine to my lips.
Kiss me. Please.
But Atlas simply thumbs across my cheek. “What’s your address?” I rattle it off and he nods. “I’ll have you there soon.”
He closes the door and I’m asleep before he even starts the car.