Chapter 30
chapter thirty
tom
“We’ll see you Sunday then?”
I nodded as I passed Maxwell Libe’s backpack. “Yes, I may get back Saturday. I’ll let you know.”
He waved his hand at me as he balanced Libe on his hip.
“You’ll probably be tired, let’s say Sunday night.
We’ll be fine.” He smiled at Libe, who had nodded along to every word he said, her thumb stuck in her mouth.
“We have lots of plans with nana and grandpa. Right, sweetheart?” he said, nuzzling her hair.
“We’re going to go ice-skating!” Libe told me excitedly.
“You’ll have a great time. I can’t wait to hear about it. I’ll call you every day while I’m gone, okay?” I leaned to give her a kiss on the cheek.
“Okay, Daddy,” Libe mumbled around her thumb as Maxwell strapped her into the booster seat in his car, passing her a book to entertain her a couple of minutes while we talked.
Maxwell looked at me intensely, like he was trying to work something out.
“Thanks for doing this, Maxwell. I know it’s very last minute.”
It was the Monday after my big fight with Camilo.
I hadn’t spoken to him since Friday, and in that time, I’d come up with a plan I hoped would show him how much I cared for him.
It involved leaving town for a few days, however.
So, I’d asked Maxwell for help and he’d agreed to take Libe while I was gone.
“It’s fine, Tom. It’s the least I could do, after all my very poorly timed interruptions.
” The corner of his mouth lifted then, and in that moment we both probably felt a pang of regret.
For us and what we lost. “I’m glad you’ve found someone you’re willing to make changes for. I hope it works out for you.”
I shrugged, trying to convey an ease I did not feel.
“I’m not sure if this will change things for Camilo and me, but I want to do this for him anyway. Not so he’ll take me back, but because I know it’s important to him.”
Maxwell’s smile was bigger this time, even though his eyes were still a little sad. “Well even if it wasn’t me, I’m glad someone finally made you learn to pay attention.”
That was an understatement. “Oh, Camilo has my attention. That and more,” I said, determined to prove just that to him in the next few days.
With that, Maxwell started moving, getting into the driver’s seat. I waved at them as they drove off and then crossed the street to the garage to get my car. Within minutes, I headed up to the Bronx to pick up Dinorah.
Friday night, as I thought of all the things Camilo had been trying to manage in the past couple of months, I remembered him talking about how much Dinorah wanted to go down to Miami during her leave.
Camilo couldn’t make the trip with her with everything he had going on, but I could.
I had the time and the means to do it. And once the idea got in my head, I went with it.
On Saturday morning, I’d woken up with a plan in my head.
I called Dinorah to ask her if she was up for it, and she’d immediately said yes.
She was convinced things would be okay with Camilo and me, but I told her I wanted to do this for her no matter what, and that once we came back, I would try to fix what I’d broken.
I didn’t know if there was anything I could do to make Camilo trust me again, but I could at least do this one thing that would mean so much to him and Dinorah.
The plan was to take her down there so she could get some closure, get a chance to say goodbye properly.
Camilo had talked to me about how much Dinorah regretted the way they’d left Miami.
How that last year had tainted all the happy years she’d had there.
He also said he wasn’t ready to make the trip there himself.
That he just didn’t want her going alone.
This was something I could do for him, for them.
I pulled up in front of Dinorah’s building and saw her waiting on the sidewalk with a big smile on her face and a little suitcase next to her.
I had only seen her once since she started her leave, but could see why Camilo had worked so hard to make sure she was able to take the time off.
She looked like a different person—her eyes were bright and her back straight.
She looked stronger. Once again I felt a pang of regret, for messing with what Camilo had being doing for his mother. I now understood why he’d been so determined to do it, and why my interference had cut him so deeply.
I quickly got out of the car and went around to grab her bag. As soon as I got there, she started talking excitedly. “Tom, thank you again for doing this. Milito is going to have a heart attack when I call him to tell him.” She laughed.
I didn’t find it as funny. “How pissed do you think he’ll be? Because Milo doesn’t like it when I do things without asking and this is a big one, Dinorah,” I said as we got into the car. “He’s not going to like being kept in the dark again.” I was legitimately worried about how he’d take this.
Dinorah patted my cheek and smiled reassuringly.
“He’ll be surprised. Especially because he’s not part of the plan.
You know he doesn’t like to feel left out.
But he’ll be okay and he’s very busy with the renovation.
I talked with Ayako and Juan Pablo, too.
They’ll make sure to keep an eye on him while we’re away.
My son is strong,” she said with a fire in her voice.
“The strongest. He just needs time to calm down, and think things through. So do you, Tom.”
“I hope I’m doing the right thing.”
She squeezed my shoulder and gave me an understanding look. “I hope so, too, but even as stubborn as Milito is, he’s smart and is not one to be wasteful. He knows what you have is special. He’s hurt and disappointed, and a little scared, but he loves you.”
“And I love him.” I stared straight ahead as I maneuvered the car through the busy streets of the South Bronx, getting us out of the city.
Dinorah scoffed as if to say, “Well, no shit.”
“I know. From the first time he talked to me about you, I had a feeling you two were like his daddy and me. Meant to be.”
I was trying to figure out how to respond to her words without making a fool of myself when she jumped in her seat, and started looking through her purse.
“I need to call him before we leave the city, to let him know.” She laughed nervously, and I felt her pain.
Camilo’s temper was nothing to take lightly.
She tapped her phone, and soon it was ringing on speakerphone. She winked at me as we waited.
“Hey, Mama.” He sounded so weary, and my heart lurched at the sound of his voice.
“Hola hijo, so, I want you to know everything is fine.”
“Okaaaay,” he answered bemusedly.
“I’m on my way to Miami, to go see your daddy’s grave. I’ll be back on Saturday.”
Camilo’s shriek echoed in the car. “What?” He spluttered. “How?”
“I’m driving with a friend. Someone totally safe.
I’m one hundred percent alright.” She sighed as we listened to his string of protests.
“I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.
This month he would have turned sixty-five; this is the right time.
I want to go down there and see the places that were special to the two of us.
I know we talked about doing it in the spring, but I’ve got the time now.
Besides, I know you’re not ready to go back there. I can do this on my own.”
“Mama, what if something happens to you?”
She laughed at that and shook her head. “I don’t know if you remember this, but I came from Cuba in a boat on my own. I can do this.”
“I know.” His tone changed then, like he remembered he needed to reassure his mom he believed in her. “You can do anything. I’m just surprised and a little worried. This is so sudden.” After a pause, he asked, “Can I talk to the person?”
Dinorah and I shared a look at Camilo’s overprotectiveness. “No, you may not, Camilo Santiago Briggs. You just need to trust me. I’ll call you every night, and I’ll be posting on my Facebook account. You’re always pestering me to use it.”
He chuckled at that, but when he spoke, he still didn’t sound very convinced. “Okay, Mama, but text, okay? This is so unexpected, but you sound happy and that’s all I want. You, happy.”
“I know, papí. Don’t worry about me, esta bien?”
“Si. Te quiero, mama.”
“Y yo a ti.”
She ended the call and we sat there in silence for a few seconds, then Dinorah laughed. “Well that went better than I thought it would. He’s going to fall over when he realizes who my travel companion is.”
I smiled with a lot less confidence in this whole plan than I’d initially had, now that I’d heard Camilo’s apprehensiveness. “No matter what happens, like Camilo says, what’s important is that you’re happy.”
She smiled and squeezed my shoulder again. “You two will be fine.”
I really hoped she was right.
Camilo
I heard my phone’s voicemail alert as I got out of the shower. It sounded like Tom’s nightly message had arrived.
I sighed and sat on my bed as I tapped the screen to listen. It was Thursday, almost a week since our fight, and we still hadn’t seen each other. On Sunday after calling me like ten times, he’d finally texted asking me if I wanted him to stop calling. I responded with one word.
Never.
He’d asked if he could just leave messages. I’d texted back a yes, and asked him not to give up on us, that I just needed time.
So every night since then, he’d been leaving me these heart wrenching messages telling me all the ways in which I made his life better. The plans he had for the future, which all seemed to include me. It was not easy to resist, but I was glad I’d taken some time to think about what I wanted.
By now I was certain I wanted to try again, but I still felt like I needed something, some proof Tom understood why what he did hurt me. He’d apologized, he’d made all kinds of promises. But I still didn’t know if he really got that I didn’t want someone who was lazy with what mattered to me.