Chapter 20 #2
“It’s beautiful,” she said. “This is the perfect place for you to get ready for your wedding.”
Alexei looked down at her and smiled. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It is.”
Another knock made Luca turn away. When he opened the door again, a dark-haired woman holding a fancy camera waved from the other side.
“Hey, I’m Kate,” she said. “Here to document the groom getting ready.”
Kate kept waving as she stepped inside. Everyone waved back. “Just pretend I’m not here,” she said.
“Come on then,” Alina said to her brother. “Let’s get you in this suit.”
Fifteen minutes later, Alexei stood in the middle of Luca’s cabin, wearing a dark green suit.
“Damn,” Luca said. “You look good.”
Alexei blushed, running his hands over his lapels.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Alina emerged from the bathroom to say. “You do. Help me with this zipper, Alyosha.”
Alina wore a sleeveless rose gold gown, tapered around her collarbones, a collar of tulle fluffed around her neck.
“Alinachka,” Alexei smiled. “You are beautiful.”
“Well.” She sniffed, emotion high on her cheekbones. “As the sole members of the Lebedev family at this affair, we had to show up.”
Alexei took her hand and kissed her knuckles, still smiling. “You’re the only one I need. Now, let’s do your hair.”
Luca felt like a voyeur. He hung in a corner with Delilah while Alexei braided his sister’s hair, some delicate, complex thing that went around her face, while Kate clicked pictures.
“Don’t tell Dagny about this guy,” he murmured to Delilah’s slobbery face.
“He’s making me look bad in like, twenty different ways. ”
When yet another knock sounded at his door, Luca shot toward it.
He swung it wide open to reveal Mae Kellerman.
“Oh,” he said before he could stop himself. Mae grimace-smiled.
“Hi,” they said. “Sorry.” They wore a huge, sherbet colored dress that complemented their pink hair. “I’m here for Alexei.”
“Of course.” He stepped back. “Come on in.”
“Hi, Mae,” Alexei said. He was putting the finishing touches on Alina’s hair. “Go look in the bathroom,” he said to his sister with a step back. “See what you think.”
Mae drifted closer as Alina walked away.
“Alexei,” they said, eyes soft, their smile deep in their rounded cheeks. “Ben’s ready.”
Alexei took a deep breath as Mae patted their hands on his chest.
“You,” they said, “look handsome. But you always look handsome.” And then, more quietly: “How you doin’?”
“Good.” Alexei smiled down at them. “I can really feel them here. Both of them.”
Mae smiled back, but their eyes had turned damp.
“I know,” they whispered. And turning to Luca, still smiling, Mae explained, “Two of our favorite gays in the world used to love this town. But then the bastards went and died before they could see Ben and Lex get married.”
Luca had no idea what to say to that. Luckily, Alexei spoke first.
“I think they’ll see it,” he said, his deep voice quiet and steady. “Or at least—I think they’ll know. I really do.”
Mae looked up at him and patted his chest again. Alina, who had come back from the bathroom, put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
“I’ll give you all a moment.” With a solemn nod of his head, Luca stepped onto the deck, closing the glass door behind him.
He propped his palms on the railing, exhaling as he looked out at the ocean.
This, he supposed, was why you would agree to host a wedding on your farm. Why you’d open your home to events like this. Luca had only seen the way it had stressed Emerson out, all the work that had gone into it. But then the day showed up, and—
You got to see people being good.
You got to witness their hearts spilling open.
And maybe that was worth it.
A few minutes later, Mae stepped onto the porch, sliding the door shut behind them.
“Hey.”
Luca gave them a glance of acknowledgment before looking back at the ocean.
“Hey.”
Mae joined him at the railing. He and Mae had a cordial relationship.
They smiled politely at each other when they saw each other in town.
He liked that they’d opened a bookstore in Greyfin Bay.
Still, the awkward air that hung between them, the knowledge that they’d both slept with the same person, was hard to dissipate.
“I’m friends with Ben and Alexei,” they said now.
“We met when I lived in Portland. That’s why I’m here.
Dell and I will be at the wedding. I only realized you were involved just now, when Ben asked me to come get Lex.
Well, he had mentioned a hot guy who was helping Emerson out at the farm a while ago, but I didn’t make the connection. Sorry if I was a jumpscare.”
Luca laughed a little.
“Nah,” he said, and meant it. “You’re not a jumpscare. Not anymore.”
He could make out Mae’s smile from the corner of his eye. “Good,” they said.
“Thanks for the warning that Dell will be there, though,” he added. And then, “I’ve never seen him in a suit.”
Now they laughed. “Do me a favor, if you see him? Tell him he looks hot in it. He’s self-conscious about it.”
Luca shook his head, smiling. He would likely not be doing that.
But maybe he should. Maybe he should see if that offer Dell had mentioned a year ago—that they could keep sleeping together, even while Dell was with Mae—was still good.
Except Luca’s stomach soured the second he’d thought it.
He looked away. He was all fucked up. He just had to get through this day.
“I can see why he liked this place so much,” Mae said next. “This is lovely.” They pushed away from the railing. “Time to get this party started, though.” With a last smile at him that Luca attempted to return, Mae walked back inside the cabin. With a final deep breath of ocean air, Luca followed.
“Hey, Alexei,” he said as Alexei and Alina gathered their things.
“I’m sure you already have a room at the hotel, but if you and Ben wanted to stay here tonight instead, you could.
” He shrugged. “I’ve been renting it out, so everything’s all clean, the sheets and everything.
You’d be staying on the house, of course. Just, if you wanted someplace quiet.”
Alexei looked at him.
“Really?”
Luca shrugged. “Really.”
“And Delilah could stay here, too?”
“Of course.”
A small smile grew on Alexei’s face.
“Okay. I’ll mention it to Ben, see what he thinks. But…thank you.”
The smile Luca returned was equally small but just as real. Maybe he had no idea what he was doing with his life: in the cabin he no longer lived in; on the farm; with Emerson King. Maybe Emerson hadn’t let Luca help with the wildflower field; maybe he hadn’t helped fix the barn.
But maybe Luca could give one good thing to these kind, decent people he wished were his friends. Maybe, in terms of getting through today, that would at least be something.
The party arrived the moment a yellow school bus drove up the gravel drive of Short King Farms. Even before it parked, heads popped out of windows, yelling and whooping.
Luca directed it to a stop near the house, welcomed its passengers to the farm, asked if anyone needed extra assistance making it up the hill to the ceremony site.
The fourth man off the bus yelled, “Caravalhoooo! Caravalho gay wedding!” He pulled Luca into a somewhat violent hug, thumping him on the back before raising both arms in the air. “Fuck yeah!”
“Jaco, get a hold of yourself,” Ben’s mom suddenly appeared next to Luca to say. Luca had forgotten her name. He’d met so many people in the last twenty-four hours. She shoved him lightly on the arm. “I’ll take over directing the rest of these yahoos from here.”
After stepping aside, Luca couldn’t think of anything else he needed to do. Morgan was nowhere to be seen, neither was Emerson. Slowly, Luca turned and joined the procession up the dirt road to the wildflower field. Halfway there, a wet nose pushed into his hand.
“Hey, Delilah.” He smiled down at her. “Will you be my wedding date?”
She walked at his side. He took that as a yes.
And felt weird about how grateful he suddenly felt for a dog he’d just met.
At the wildflower field he stood off to the side, near the entry to the walkway.
Watched people find their seats, hug each other, chit chat.
A woman played a cello near the dais Emerson had built.
Someone collected Delilah, leading her back down the road.
Luca wondered, as the crowd continued to fill in, whether he should even be here.
Things were all set up now, seemed to be running smoothly.
Morgan and the wedding officiant and the caterers and the rest of the hired staff would take care of the rest. Maybe there wasn’t a real reason why Luca should be standing here, suffocating in the glow of other peoples’ love.
And then Emerson came up behind him. Luca could sense him before he saw him, could smell him, knew the touch of his hand on his back.
“Hey,” Emerson said, and Luca wanted to melt into him.
Luca’s body was a traitor.
“Hey,” he said back, voice low. “How’re you doing?”
“Good,” Emerson said, like he meant it. Like he almost couldn’t believe it himself. “So far, things are going really, really good.”
Luca swallowed. “Told you,” he managed to scrape out, and Emerson laughed a little. His shoulder brushed Luca’s.
“You did,” he agreed. “That you did.”
And then they continued to stand there, side by side, as guests continued to file past. When Morgan hurried up the road, motioning the officiant, a tiny, fierce-looking woman named Ruby, to the stage, when the cellist changed their tune, photographers getting into place, Luca and Emerson stepped back even farther, to the edge of the field.