Chapter 20 #3
They watched the wedding party make their way up the road: Julie and Carolina—the scary one, Luca remembered from that night at the Tavern—bouquets of greens and yellows and golds held in their hands.
Ben’s brother, whose name also escaped Luca’s memory.
And then Ben himself, flanked on either side by his parents.
Followed by Alexei, one arm looped around Alina’s, the other holding Delilah’s leash.
Luca and Emerson watched the rest over the sea of wildflowers between them and the main event.
Delilah walking onto the dais, promptly lying at Ben and Alexei’s feet.
The color scheme of the wedding party fit the field perfectly; the sun shone warm on everyone’s shoulders, undercut by a gentle September breeze.
The longer they stood there, just barely able to make out the words of the ceremony, the increasing sniffles of the crowd, the more Luca’s body relaxed.
Emerson still stood the slightest bit behind him; he felt himself leaning back into him, and Emerson letting him.
The barest touch that felt so loud, so steady in the tumult of the day.
Before the vows, Ben’s dad read a poem in Portuguese.
Alina read a poem in Russian. Ben’s friend Khalil read a poem in English.
Luca kept leaning on Emerson, feeling another overwhelming swell of gratitude to be here, on this land, in this state, in this world, where at least for a moment, everything felt beautiful.
When the ceremony was done, Ben and Alexei and Delilah streaming back down the aisle, Emerson tilted his head up to Luca’s ear.
“Everyone will be heading to the barn now,” he said, and Luca had to blink, get himself acclimated again after the trance he’d lulled into, him and Emerson in their own quiet corner.
“I’m going to make sure everything goes okay there.
But I think Ben and Lex are off to take pictures around the farm.
Would you mind trailing them, just to make sure everything goes okay?
They’re free to go anywhere; just make sure all the gates are latched if they go into the pastures. ”
Luca nodded. “Of course.”
He wanted to kiss Emerson before he left, but by the time he turned, Emerson was already walking away.
And that heavy, uneasy feeling that had been in his bones the rest of the day, whenever Emerson hadn’t been at his side, returned.
Luca caught up to Ben and Lex and their small wedding party easily, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he hung in the background and watched the photographer work.
He did his part by warning everyone not to get too close to the goats, or they would try to eat their nice clothes.
Sally and the chickens were out, though, and not too far into the pasture, a perfect situation for pictures.
Luca waited at the gate with Delilah, who whined the whole time at not being able to chase all those birds.
They headed up the hill next, to the orchard, past the site of Emerson and Luca’s first kiss. It was safe for Delilah to join her people here, so Luca was pretty much useless again.
The light was perfect, Ben and Alexei’s matching green suits well-tailored and cool. Luca watched the photographer direct their movements, their eyes never leaving the other, their mouths never not smiling, and he tried not to hate himself for being so bad at fashion and falling in love.
They were on their way back up the dirt road for some last shots in the wildflower field when another figure came into view, walking down the track. As soon as they were close enough, his eyes found Luca’s. When he politely pulled Luca aside, Luca’s stomach sank with inevitability.
“Jayden,” he said with a solemn nod.
“Luca,” Jayden returned. He looked away, eyes squinting into the distance, while Luca’s tracked the wedding party, fading away up the hill.
As the silence stretched, Luca almost excused himself.
Even though he’d known, as soon as they’d left the livestock, that his help with the photos wasn’t actually needed.
Still, he could maybe make sure they kept away from the bee boxes.
“Look,” Jayden said, before Luca could bail. “This isn’t my finest moment, I know. But I just need to know, because I know Em will never tell me.”
He took a deep breath before looking Luca in the eye.
“Are you sleeping together?”
Well. There it was.
And maybe Luca should have hesitated. Thought more about what Emerson would’ve wanted him to say. I know Em will never tell me. But in that moment, the heavy resignation he’d felt ever since Jayden had shown up started to lift.
Because why did Luca feel so resigned? This man didn’t have the sole rights to Emerson King.
Emerson and Luca were sleeping together, and Luca wanted Jayden to know. Luca wanted everyone to know.
“Yes.”
Jayden inhaled. Exhaled as he looked down at his feet. Nodded to himself.
“Okay,” he said before he once more met Luca’s gaze.
“I still love him,” he said. “And I always will. Which I’m only telling you because—if you hurt him, I’ll kill you.”
Luca clenched his jaw. A litany of possible responses scrolled through his mind.
You think I don’t already know that?
Rich of you to threaten me when you’re the one who left. You’re the one who’s already hurt him.
Or perhaps a simple, time-tested, Fuck you.
The one that echoed in his head the longest, though—
I love him, too.
And it was this that made Luca keep his mouth closed.
That made him think it through first. That made him think about the look of relief on Emerson’s face this morning when Jayden said he was here to help.
Those photos on Emerson’s wall, his and Jayden’s arms around Daisy, Daisy smiling back at both of them.
He tried to picture what kind of father this man in front of him was.
What songs he sang to her when she couldn’t sleep.
If he ever got down on the floor with her to play with Moomoo.
Luca didn’t know what was happening between him and Emerson, not truly, not for sure. But he knew, if he wanted to at least try to keep Emerson King, he couldn’t punch his ex-husband. He probably couldn’t even secretly hate him.
“Okay,” Luca said.
And then he and Jayden stared at each other for another ten seconds. Until Jayden eventually nodded again. “Okay,” he echoed.
And he started to turn away, until he turned back.
“Oh,” he added. “And my daughter talks about you all the time. So if you hurt her too, I’ll kill you twice.”
Luca clenched his jaw again, the implication that he would even consider hurting Daisy making him want to punch something again.
But then—Jayden was Daisy’s actual father. He had the right to protect her. Luca would’ve done the same.
“Understood,” he said, voice tight.
Jayden nodded.
Luca stood alone on the dirt path, hands still fisted in his pockets, as he watched him walk away.