9. Benji
“You really are just full of surprises, Jack.” His arms wind around my waist and the hot water steams around us. “I honestly didn’t picture you as the bath type.”
“I had this tub put in when I first bought the place. Sometimes after a hard workout I really need to soak and the original tub had my knees practically pressed to my chest.”
Jack’s fingers trace slow circles along my chest and belly, exploring every inch of exposed skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. My dick gives a halfhearted twitch and I shift back and let out a surprised gasp when I find that Jack is hard again, his length pressing against the small of my back.
“You’re insatiable.”
“I’ve waited for years to be able to have you. Plus, that hair trigger of yours does things to me. You pretty much came the second I was inside of you, so fucking hot baby. You always come that easily?”
I shift nervously because I’ve always been pretty sensitive, it’s part of why I never top. The one time I tried I was literally a two pump chump and the other guy gave me a really hard time about it. I hate disappointing people and my lack of stamina has definitely been a disappointment for the few guys I’ve been with.
“Sorry, next time I can hold off longer. I just got a little too excited because you tortured me for so long. I can do better.” It’s not entirely the truth but maybe next time I can hold it longer or jerk it before I come over so that I’m not as worked up.
“Benji, look at me.”
I turn to look up at Jack, expecting to see disappointment because that’s been the look I’ve experienced in the past. Jack is frowning, his wet auburn hair hanging down over his forehead, and I glance away before looking in his eyes because I don’t need to look to know the disappointment I’ll find there.
“Baby,” Jack reaches out and turns my face up again and I’m forced to make eye contact with him. His dark eyes don’t hold disappointment, only mild concern and beneath that a layer of heat. “You coming from me just sticking it in was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I fucking love how easily you get off. I loved the way you let me use your hole after, making you into my little sex toy, fucking you just how I like. Love that you can take it even after you’ve come, even when you’re probably feeling super sensitive. Gives me so many ideas. You ever come in your pants?”
“Yes.” I whisper because it’s horribly embarrassing. I know that when I blow Jack for the first time, I’ll probably come in my pants like a teenager.
“Fuck, Benji. I wanna see that, watch you make a fucking mess. Would you wear panties for me and get them all dirty, let me lick the come off the lace?”
My dick hardens so fast that I feel like my head is spinning. Jack makes my problem sound like it’s the hottest thing in the world. I’ve never worn panties before but there isn’t a single thing I can think of that I wouldn’t do for Jack.
“I’ll do anything you want, Jack. If you want me to wear panties, I’ll go shopping.”
“Anything I want, huh? You gonna be my little slut and let me have you anyway I want, anytime I want?”
I can’t help but squirm in his arms, my cock leaking as I grind against Jack’s hard length pressing into my back. This man makes me so desperate and feral, even though I just came less than half an hour ago.
“Yes, anytime, anyway you want.”
“You gonna be me little slut? Say it, Benji.” Jack’s hand creeps down my chest and belly to wrap around my stiff cock and I can’t help but groan, bucking into his hand.
“I’m your little slut.”
“No one else gets to touch you, you’re mine now, baby. I meant it when I said I wasn’t going to let you go.”
“I don’t want you to let me go. This is all I’ve ever wanted.”
Jack’s hand speeds up and I feel my balls pulling up and pleasure spreading through my groin. I let out an embarrassingly high pitch moan and suddenly Jack’s hand is gone and I’m left bucking my hips wildly, chasing the contact.
“You’re going to be so much fun to edge, baby. I’m going to get you close and then stop so many times that you’ll be begging for it.”
“Jack, please!”
“Anyway I want, remember? And the way I want it is to watch you squirm in my arms each time I bring you to that edge but don’t let you tumble over. Gonna take my time teasing you and then I’ll fuck your mouth and watch you come in your pants. You think you could do that for me, baby?”
I nod desperately and let out a whimper when his hand wraps around me again and he gives me a firm squeeze. The pleasure is building, spiraling down my spine, from just that action and I buck up desperately only to have Jack release me again.
“Someday, I’m going to put a ring on your pretty little prick. Keep you hard for hours, right on the edge. Your balls will look so pretty and full, pulled up tight to your body. You’re so little, I love it.”
Jack makes my small penis sound like it’s a good thing and fuck if that doesn’t do something for me. I’ve never had someone worship my flaws the way he does, like he can see every insecurity and is determined to morph them into something positive. Normally, someone commenting on how small my dick is would cause me to want to curl up and hide but the way Jack keeps saying it’s pretty in that reverent tone has the opposite effect. It has my poor little cock is so hard and swollen, the tip leaking over his hand, my balls pulled up tight against my body.
“Please, please!” I start begging when he releases me for a third time and Jack just lets out a deep chuckle as his other hand slips underneath me, sliding between our bodies. His fingers find their way to my rim and he gently pushes one finger in, his own come slicking the way. One finger turns to two but he doesn’t immediately start fucking me with them, instead he just holds them inside of me giving me a taste of that delicious stretch.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Jack crooks his fingers and begins massaging my prostate. My cock is held firmly in one of his big hands and his fingers have me stretched perfectly. I can already feel my orgasm starting to build when both hands still.
“No, no, I need it.”
It’s a good thing Jack seems to like hearing me beg because it’s all I seem capable of doing lately. The words just tumble out of my mouth and suddenly I’m pleading with him, begging for any kind of release. I’ve never been very vocal in bed, outside of moans, but I guess years of longing will do that to you.
“I already told you baby, you’re going to come with my cock down your throat. Hush and let me play with my pretty little hole.” He crooks his fingers and I start gasping and writhing, trying desperately to get back to that edge. “This belongs to me, doesn’t it Benji?”
“Yes, yes, fuck.” His fingers scissor, stretching me and making me feel owned in all of the best ways. I want to beg for him to let me sit on his cock but if Jack’s made one thing clear it’s that he’s in control. Still, the idea of lounging in a bath keeping his cock warm fills my stomach with a tingling sensation and I can feel myself on the edge of coming again.
I can feel myself about to tumble over when the hand around my cock suddenly tightens around the base. My hips buck but it’s no use, he’s in full control of my orgasm. I’m helpless, he’s got me speared open with his fingers and I feel so small pressed up against his large chest. Our size difference is really fucking hot and I love how he can take complete control while still making me feel safe.
Jack brings me to the edge another three times before finally slipping his fingers free and releasing my cock. He helps me out of the bath and wraps me in a fluffy towel that is absolutely massive.
“Jeez, where do you buy your towels?”
“Costco, obviously. I think it’s technically a bath sheet but it’s the only style I’ve found that can wrap fully around my body. On you though, damn. It practically swallows you whole.”
Jack leads us back into his room and pulls out a pair of boxer briefs that would be tight on him but are actually pretty loose on me.
“Until I order you some pretty panties, you’ll have to make do with coming in mine.” The way he so casually slips back into dirty talk makes my cock leak, a bead of precum dripping down the head. “Fuck baby, you’re going to make such a mess, aren’t you?”
I slip his underwear on and follow him to the bed, practically falling to my knees in my eagerness to get him in my mouth. I’ve thought about tasting Jack a million times and now that I finally can it feels too good to be true. I lick my lips and stare up at Jack.
His auburn hair is a wet mess and his pupils are blown so wide from arousal that I can barely make out the brown irises. There’s a flush along his chest and shoulders, which could be from arousal or the hot bath we just took. His thighs are thick and I can’t resist running my hands up them, loving the soft feel of his leg hair. He doesn’t have a ton of hair on his body but what he does have drives me wild.
He wraps a hand around the base of his cock and guides it to my lips. I can’t resist lapping at the head, which earns me a deep groan of satisfaction from Jack. His other hand traces along my jaw almost reverently.
“Open up baby and swallow my cock.”
He doesn’t have to ask twice. I suck him in as far as I can, relishing in the way he stretches my throat. He’s long enough that I can’t swallow him whole, not the way he does with my smaller dick, so I take care to stroke the base. My hand replaces his and I stroke as I bob, my tongue twirling around his head and lapping up the precum along his slit.
I can feel my own arousal burning through my core and I only bob on his cock for a few minutes before I can feel my orgasm building in my groin. I moan around his cock and my legs tremble. My hips start grinding up, seeking friction that isn’t there.
“Fuck, that’s it baby. Wanna see you make a mess and come just from swallowing my fat cock. Do it, come in my shorts.”
That’s all it takes and I’m groaning around his cock, pushing him as deep in my throat as I can while spurt after spurt of come paint the inside of my borrowed briefs. My eyes roll back with the force of the orgasm and my entire body trembles.
Nearly the moment it’s over I’m suddenly swallowing as Jack follows me over the edge. His hips move for the first time and he actually fucks into my throat a few times as he releases. I don’t really get to savor his taste because he’s so far down my throat. When he finally pulls free I’m disappointed and I can’t help the pout that forms on my lips.
“You look like you want to keep going. You wanna keep my cock warm for a bit?”
I nod eagerly and Jack pulls me to my feet. He stretches out on the pillows and spreads his legs. I crawl between his thick thighs and rest my head on the crook between his groin and leg. Jack must be a shower because even soft his cock is impressive.
I gently wrap my lips around him and suck him in until his tip is resting just inside my throat. I can’t help the happy sigh that escapes and Jack runs a hand through my hair, massaging my scalp. I’m not sure when I fall asleep but at some point in the night I feel Jack gently dislodge me from his spent dick, pulling the dirty briefs from my hips, and then wrapping us both in a blanket. He’s so gentle that I barely stir, only dimly aware of the safe feeling of being wrapped in his arms.
I wake up wrapped in Jack’s arms, his chest flush against my back and his breath tickling my neck as we share a pillow. After days of anxiety and feeling like there was no way I could actually keep this I feel like I’m in heaven. I’m still a little sore from last night and when I shift I can still feel the stretch from having him inside me.
I wiggle a little bit, trying to untangle myself without waking Jack but he stirs and pulls me in closer. His lips press against the back of my neck and he lets out a happy, sleepy sigh.
“Mornin’ baby.” He murmurs and I can’t help but relax into his arms even though my bladder is screaming at me to get up.
“Morning.” I’m not sure why I feel shy, given Jack literally had his tongue in my ass last night. This whole dynamic shift still has my head spinning and the little voice in my head is still whispering that it’s too good to be true. I feel like I’m waiting for the shoe to drop and Jack to suddenly say ‘gotcha!’ like this whole thing has been a joke. While Jack has been a dick for years, he’s never been a bully, and logically I know that he wouldn’t intentionally set me up for heartbreak.
I also feel anxious when I consider our task today. I have this strong feeling that the road I saw will somehow lead to Jessica. The thought of finding something is both terrifying and relieving. I want to find Jessica and figure out what happened…but I also know that when we do it’ll end the small sliver of hope that both Jack and I have been surviving off of. I know that Jess is gone, I do, but I also want to believe that the ghost I saw was a dream and maybe she really is still out there.
“Coffee, breakfast, and then Jeepin’? We could pick up a breakfast burrito from that food truck a block over. They have decent enough coffee too.”
“Do you go there a lot? I haven’t tried that place.”
“Mhm, it’s close by so I stop by a few times a week. They have a hollandaise burrito that I’m betting you’ll like.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You get Eggs Benedict a lot so you must be a big hollandaise fan.”
“How on Earth do you know I get Eggs Benedict, Jack? I’ve gone out to eat with you like once and that was recently.”
“I…I know a lot of things about you Benji. Honestly, I’ve been borderline obsessed with you for so long-”
“You've been stalking me?”
“A bit. I’ve uh driven past your place more times than I can count over the years, even when it’s super out of my way.”
I pause, imagining Jack driving by my place for absolutely no reason. It’s hard to reconcile the man I thought I knew with the new images he’s supplying.
“But why? Like, I’m hardly ever outside.”
“I guess I just like to see if you’re home and if you uh have company.”
“Unless it’s Jess, I like never have people over.”
“That’s not entirely true, one time I drove by and there was a red Mustang in your driveway and I assumed you had a girl over.”
“Oh. No, that was likely Preston.” Jack leans up on an elbow to stare down at me, his eyes scanning my face for a moment.
“Did you date for long?”
“He was just a friend that I sometimes hooked up with.”
“Why did it end?”
“He wanted more and I just…couldn’t offer that.”
“Why not?”
“I told you.”
“Tell me again, Benji.”
“I was too caught up on you. I didn’t have sex that often but occasionally everyone needs a release but I felt like it was wrong to be in a relationship with someone when I’ve been in love with you for so long.”
As soon as the words are out of my mouth I wish I could suck them back in. It’s way, way too soon to be making love confessions, even if Jack just admitted to practically stalking me.
“Say it again.”
“Everyone needs a release?”
Jack practically growls at me and a wiggle nervously under his arm that’s still draped over my chest.
“Benji, don’t play. Say it again.”
“I’ve been in love with you for a long time, Jack. I know it’s too soon-”
Jack cuts me off with a searing kiss and morning breath be damned I can’t help but return it. It’s not like our previous kisses, this isn’t meant to lead to sex and it isn’t steamy. It’s a soft, sensual kiss and our tongues dance together gently. Jack nips at my bottom lip a little and I can feel him smiling against my lips.
When we finally pull apart I try to slip out of bed to avoid the awkwardness of Jack feeling like he needs to say it back but he pulls me back against his chest.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Jack flashes me a blinding smile that I used to feel envious of because it was never one he used with me. My heart skips a beat as he smiles down at me like I’ve just hung the moon. “You gonna run away before I get to respond?”
“You don’t have to say it back. I didn’t even mean for that to slip out.”
“Benji, I thought I made it really clear but maybe I haven’t. I’ve been in love with you since we were teens. There’s no thing as too soon when we’ve both been pining for the other for half our lives. If anything, this is coming years late. I love you, baby. I loved you when you were fifteen, I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I’ll love you for all of our tomorrows.”
And then his lips are on mine again and I feel like I must be dreaming. Only real-life Jack is so much more romantic and charming that even my fantasies could conjure up.
After eating a quick breakfast in the front seat of Jack’s Jeep, we drive out to Sisters again. When we pull up to the old forest service road I can’t help but shudder. It’s cloudy today and rain is threatening to come down, occasional droplets hitting the windshield. It makes the already ominous road that’s darkened by the tall pines and aspens surrounding it an even more sinister feeling.
Jack turns onto the road and I have to grab the oh shit handle because we immediately start bumping around. There’s no way my old civic would have been able to make it down this road and I’m relieved I didn’t try because I likely would have gotten stuck within the first quarter mile.
The road is long but fairly straight for the first mile and then it starts winding and we begin moving away from Eric’s property line, his fence disappearing from the right side as we continue into the dense woods.
Even in the Jeep, Jack has to go fairly slow to keep us from bouncing too hard so it feels like we’re slowly inching down the road. Eventually the pines give way to a large grove of aspen trees and something in me screams that this is the spot.
“Stop.”
“What is it, Benji?”
“I don’t know, I just… this feels…”
“Do you want to get out and look around? It’s starting to rain but the trees will spare us from most of it.”
Jack’s faith in me does things to my heart and I feel so much relief and gratitude that I can’t resist leaning over to kiss him softly.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For coming with me, for trusting my weird feeling without question. I guess, thank you for being here.”
“We’re in this together, you don’t need to thank me. Let’s go look around.”
We park the Jeep in the middle of the road because it’s unlikely anyone else will be driving by. This road looks completely abandoned and is likely only used during fire season and forest maintenance.
We spend a few minutes looking around the woods to the side of the road before deciding to walk further along. The road takes a sudden S-shaped curve and that’s when we see the back end of a green Subaru Outback. On the bottom right corner of the back windshield is the logo for the brokerage Jessica works at.
“Fuck.” We say in unison because this is definitely her car.
Jack takes a step forward but I put a hand out to stop him. If Jessica is in the car I don’t want Jack to be the one to see her. It’s been days and her body will be in bad shape. A wind blows past us and the smell of rain and forest mixes with the smell of death and decay.
“We need to call the police. I don’t think we should-”
Jack cuts me off by pointing a few yards away from the car. There, in the middle of the grove of aspens and amongst the underbrush, we can make out auburn hair and just beyond that the pale white of a hand. The breeze blows again, bringing with it that horrible smell that we now know for certain is from what’s left of my best friend.
Jack turns and stumbles a few feet away before losing the contents of his stomach. The sound of a branch moving draws my eyes back up from the body and for a brief second I see Jessica. She’s essentially hovering above her body and I can see the trees swaying behind her because she’s nearly transparent. Her hand lifts in a small wave and she gives a small, sad smile before disappearing entirely.
Somehow, in the depths of my being, I know I won’t see her again. Her final request for me to find her has been fulfilled and she’s moved on to wherever it is we go after. In some ways, it’s a relief to know that she won’t be stuck in limbo waiting for us to solve her murder. The ghost in her old yard had to wait years to finally cross over and I’m glad Jessica won’t share that fate.
Tears stream down my face and I force myself to turn my attention to Jack. He’s still bent over, his hands on his knees and his back moving with the intensity of his labored breathing. I walk over and rub his back for a few minutes before he finally straightens. He pulls me into his arms and we hug while we cry silently.
Finally, after what feels like a lifetime I pull out my phone. There’s no service so I drop a pin on our location and motion for Jack to get back in the Jeep. The ride back to the main road is silent aside from the torrent of rain now coming down and the constant sound of the windshield wipers washing it away.
When we reach the main road Jack pulls off to the side and I pull out my phone and make the call. It doesn’t take long for several officers from the Sisters branch to arrive and we spend a few minutes explaining why we were looking down the forest service road and what we found. They give us a dubious look but one officer agrees to drive down the road and check it out while the other stays with us, I assume to make sure we don’t leave.
The rest of the day is a blur of police interviews and sitting around waiting for an update. Eventually, they tell us we can go home but make it clear we aren’t to leave town until the investigation is concluded. I know logically it looks weird that we randomly went down an old road and found the body of the woman we’ve been searching for.