Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Iris spent the early hours of the morning wondering if she should attend breakfast. If Philip was there, she worried about how awkward it would be.
What might be said… What might be shouted.
Having not seen Philip since he left her the previous evening, Iris was able to embody a sense of hope that maybe things wouldn’t be so bad, and all Philip needed was a night to cool off.
But if I see him and he confirms with action that he is still furious with me, that he is not willing to forgive what I did, that will be it. An acknowledgment that this marriage is over…
At the same time, she could not hide from Philip all day. Despite everything, she would need to see him. And when she did, no matter what happened or what he said, she would apologize profusely and hope that was enough.
So it was that Iris readied herself quickly and made her way to the breakfast room, bracing for the confrontation that was to come.
“Good morning!” Percy sat at the table, and his smile was bright and warm upon seeing Iris enter the room. “How goes it, sleepy head?”
“Oh…” Iris blinked as she looked about the room, seeing immediately that Philip was not there. “Good morning, Percy. I am well.”
“Well rested, you mean,” he laughed.
Her brow furrowed as she started into the room. “Is Philip…”
“Had to step out this morning, I am afraid,” he said cheerfully. “Didn’t tell me where or why, but that’s not so strange. You know how he is with his secrets,” he finished with a wink.
That Percy was in such a good mood, and acting so cheerfully, suggested to Iris that Philip had not told him what had happened.
In the young man’s mind, Iris and Philip were still the perfect couple and considering all that had happened last evening—as he likely saw it—there was no need to be anything other than happy.
Iris forced a smile, not wanting Percy to know about his brother and her. What had happened was between them and hopefully it might be solved before it was learned of.
For that to happen, however, Philip would need to be here.
And that he had chosen not to be wasn’t nearly as surprising as it should have been, while all but confirming what Iris suspected and now knew to be true.
Philip was still furious at her, and a good night’s sleep wasn’t going to change that.
“So…” Percy was grinning from ear to ear. “How was last night?”
“Last night?” Iris suppressed the urge to wince.
“Supper,” Percy confirmed. “Philip told me what he had planned for you. Who knew my brother could be such a romantic. Although having seen the two of you together, it doesn’t surprise me.
You’re good for him, you know. Truly, Iris, I don’t know how you have done it, but you’ve managed to bring out a side in the man that should not have been possible. ”
Each word spoken was like a knife stabbing into her guts and twisting.
It was all true, too. That for a time, she and Philip had been so perfect together.
Still early in their relationship, the steps they had taken were significant and proof that despite their differences they worked together in ways that shouldn’t have been possible but somehow were. They had been so close…
And I ruined it all. Such an easy thing to have avoided, had I told him sooner, confessed what Percy said to me rather than hiding it. Who knows how things might have turned out were I not such a coward.
“It was lovely,” she answered him, unable and unwilling to say anything else.
“I bet it was,” Percy said with a knowing grin.
Percy did much of the speaking for the next ten minutes.
He waxed lyrical about this and that, telling Iris stories from Eton which he seemed to find amusing, but she wasn’t paying attention because her mind was in a dozen different places.
Her food came, she poked and prodded at it, but her appetite was zero and all she wished to do was crawl back in bed and sleep until all this was over.
That was until she heard the front door open through the house.
Her head snapped up and she turned as heavy footsteps thundered off the wooden floorboards, coming closer.
Iris’ heart began to thump as if in time to the steps taken, panic rising in her because it must have been Philip who had returned.
The confrontation she was dreading but knew needed to be had was finally upon her…
And then Lord Robert Lawrence strode into the breakfast room.
Iris’ mouth dropped open to see her one-time betrothed appear so unexpectedly.
He was wearing his travelling clothes, his dark hair was grown out, he wore a thin beard, and his skin was more tanned than it had been the last time they’d spoken.
But it was he, that same sharp face, those same deep eyes of light blue, and that same charming smile that had beguiled Iris when she first met him all those weeks ago…
the beginning of the end, as it had proven to be.
“Robert!” Percy cried upon seeing his older brother. “What… what are you doing here?” He was up and out of his seat, hurrying around the table for his brother.
“Percy?” Robert frowned. “I might ask you the same question.”
“I asked first!” Percy reached Robert and threw his arms around him, laughing all the while. “What is this hair?” He pulled back and looked his brother over. “And this beard!” More laughter.
Robert’s smile was genuine. “Trying out a new look. What do you think?”
“Oh, I hate it,” Percy continued to laugh. “But when have you ever cared for what I think?”
They hugged further and Iris remained where she was, feeling trapped and alone because despite how welcome she had not so long ago felt in this house, she suddenly seemed a complete stranger.
Philip hated her. Robert had spurned her.
And Percy… what would he say when he found out what had happened? Whose side would he take?
She sunk into her chair as if she might not be seen. Heart racing still, sweat beginning to bead on her skin, she was not at all ready for this. One confrontation was enough to deal with. But two? She only had so much strength.
“… he’s out for the morning,” Percy was saying to Robert. “Which might work in your favor. I’m sure I can convince the staff to pretend they did not see you, if you wish to sneak out before he arrives home.”
Robert laughed. “Would that I could, brother. But you know well enough I would not have come here if it weren’t Philip who I sought.”
“You always were a glutton for punishment.”
Iris was looking ahead, trying her best to remain invisible. As she did, she felt Robert look past his brother, his focus finally falling upon her presence. One that he must have known to expect, which continued to beg the question as to why he had returned in the first place.
“Your Grace…” Robert stepped around Percy. “I was hoping I would find you here. Although I doubt the same can be said of your feelings concerning me.”
Iris took a deep breath as she forced her mind to work.
How did she feel about Robert? What did she even want from him?
Two weeks ago, she had been furious with him for what he had done.
One month before that, she had been just as furious at how he had tricked her.
Common sense told her to harness this fury and unleash it upon the lord because it was nothing less than he deserved.
Only, when she tried to gather such feelings inside of herself, she found them to be a pitiful thing.
Try as I might, I just don’t care as I once did. I know that I should. I know that it is nothing less than he deserves. And yet, it just does not seem worth it.
For that reason, she kept a straight face as she finally turned and looked at her once-betrothed.
“Lord Robert,” she said simply. “It is nice to see you again.”
“Somehow, I doubt that very much,” he responded coolly. As she remembered him, he dripped in effortless charm, a smile always hidden behind his eyes, the sense that the world was his to play with.
“Robert…” Percy came in behind his brother. “Perhaps this is not the best—”
“No.” He shrugged his brother off. “As I came here to speak with our brother, I also wished to speak with Iris… Her Grace, as it is.” He was looking right at her, his expression softening. “Please, I know I do not deserve it, but if you and I might go somewhere to speak privately?”
She frowned. “Concerning?”
“Many things,” he sighed, shoulders slumping. “I am not here to beg for forgiveness or even to ease my conscience. I am here because, well, it is the right thing to do. Please, it will only take a moment.”
Again, Iris knew deep down that after what he had done, she owed him nothing. He had ruined her life. He had then made things worse by fleeing their wedding. He was a repugnant character that was not worth a second of her time.
And just as Iris knew all of this, she knew too it wasn’t that simple.
Who am I to judge past mistakes? When my own might be considered just as awful to those who I wronged? Everyone errs, nobody is perfect, and all we can do is ask forgiveness and pray that we learn so it doesn’t happen again.
Iris was not above error. And with what had happened to her and the duke, she knew how desperate she was for him to forgive her, just as Robert might be for her to forgive him. She did not wish to. She did not want to even think about it. But all things considered…
“As you say,” she said with a deep sigh as she pushed back her chair. “I will listen to what you have come to say.”
“That is all I ask,” Robert said with obvious relief.
She followed Robert from the breakfast room and into the drawing room down the hall. She walked in first and Robert behind, at which point he made sure to close the door behind them.