Chapter 24
You’re safe with me.
No one had ever said those words to me or, more importantly, made me believe them.
Until now.
I wholeheartedly believed Liam when he’d said that. Unfortunately, believing it didn’t miraculously cure my lack of confidence or fear of what he’d say or think if he saw me naked. Exactly why I’d freaked out in the first place.
I’d been right there with him in that incredible kiss. My blood was hot, my insides a tingly, needy mess, but when I’d felt where his hand went, all I’d heard were insults.
Ugly, ugly insults that had no right to intrude on this moment.
And as much as I would have liked to point my finger and blame someone else, I couldn’t. Yes, Anthony was a bastard who threw cheap shots to make me hurt, but I was the one who chose to believe them.
Liam gently pressed his mouth against my forehead, effectively pulling me from my crazy inner ramblings. The kiss he placed on my skin was so soft, so tender, my heart squeezed tight.
“Goodnight, Snow.”
He took a step back. I didn’t want him to leave. I also didn’t know how to ask him to stay.
“Goodnight,” I said weakly.
He took one more step, then another, and another. My heart almost broke through my ribs. Stay. The word was right there, captive on the tip of my tongue. Even when Liam cleared the room and gently closed the door behind him, I still couldn’t say it.
“What the hell is wrong with me?”
Throwing my head back, I glared at the ceiling. It didn’t hold the answers I so freaking desperately needed. I had to search a whole lot deeper for that. An angry, frustrated noise spilled over my lips.
I shoved my hands into my hair, tugging at the ends until sharp tingles crawled over my scalp.
Ugh!
Why did I have to be so damn…broken?
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes, and instead of blinking them away, I allowed the emotion to roll down my cheeks. I took a moment to miss the one thing I didn’t have. The only thing I never had.
Confidence.
If it’d been a present companion, I would probably have been well on my way to experiencing a bone-melting orgasm. Honestly, if the man kissed like it was his sole purpose to do so, he most definitely did other things with the same amount of passion.
One of those toe-curling shivers ran down my spine at the thought of Liam and the wicked things he could do. But then, right on cue, too, that annoying voice inside my head made itself known again.
He’ll be disgusted if he sees you without clothes.
He won’t be able to look at you.
“No!” Swiping my hair away from my face, I pushed the strands behind my ears. “No more.”
I couldn’t, wouldn’t, keep doing this.
Determined strides took me to the corner of the room where I’d stacked my books in front of the mirror. Gently pushing the piles aside, I stepped forward and looked at my reflection.
My first instinct was to find everything I didn’t deem perfect and tear it apart. It was the most challenging thing I’d done, but somehow, I found it within myself not to say derogatory things to the girl in the mirror.
I took it further, pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it on the floor. More tears streamed down my face as I stared at my reflection again. This time, it took more work to avoid those imperfections.
All I saw were big boobs, a soft stomach, and wide hips. Nothing like the girls on the covers of glossy magazines or the ones on social media with millions and millions of followers.
No, these were the kind of curves girls like me were insulted for. We were the ones who heard things like: Miss Piggy with makeup is still Miss Piggy.
We were the maids of honor, the bridesmaids, the best friends. Never the lovers.
Then why did Liam kiss you like he couldn’t get enough? No, like you were enough.
A new, unfamiliar voice made her appearance.
Closing my eyes, I thought of the way his mouth had moved over mine. Of how his touch brushed over my skin. Never once did he pull back. And he’d touched me in places where I was most vulnerable.
My waist.
My thighs.
My butt.
He’d felt my soft spots, and still, he wanted more.
You’re safe with me.
His words from earlier rang in my ears. So steady, so sure. Over and over again as I stared at the girl in the mirror and promised to do better. To love her better, starting tonight.
With one last glance, I took a deep breath and snatched my shirt from the floor. Tugging it over my head, I hurried out of my room.
My heart thundered while I moved through the house, in search of Liam. He wasn’t in any of the usual spots, which left only his room. My steps faltered, but determination pushed me straight to his door.
Afraid I’d come to my senses; I didn’t pause to take a breath. Simply lifted my hand and knocked. The door flew open seconds later, and just like that, I forgot how to breathe.
Liam’s shirt and pants were completely undone, revealing not only his broad, muscular upper body but the thick elastic of his briefs. The man was built to perfection. His muscles so defined, he probably didn’t have an ounce of fat on him.
But that wasn’t why I was speechless.
The way his brows dipped low and the concern burning in those steely blue eyes stole the air from my lungs.
“Snow? What’s wrong?”
A great big ball of nerves lodged itself in my throat. It took three tries to swallow it down, and even then, my mouth was still drier than the damn Sahara.
“I…” Slowly, I slid my tongue over my lips.
Liam immediately followed the action. And if I weren’t staring at him so intently, I would have missed the desire swirling around in those blue irises.
I was glad I didn’t. It gave me the little push I needed.
Taking a step closer, I tilted my head to meet his stare. “I don’t want the night to end like this.”
Understanding washed over his features, and my legs almost gave out at how quickly his gaze darkened.
He watched me with a scary intensity as he closed the distance between us. His hand came up. Thumb and forefinger gripping my chin, he tilted my head back even more. “Tell me what you want.”
Oh, that soft, sensual voice. That damn accent.
My bottom lip disappeared between my teeth. “What I want…” I paused, took a breath, then dove headfirst over the scariest cliff. “I want to finish what we started… I want to feel good. To make you feel good. But…” Another deep breath. “I’m not ready to sleep with you. Not yet.”
Baby steps. I knew there’d come a time when I was ready to give him everything. That time wasn’t tonight, though.
He didn’t make a face. The desire in his eyes didn’t dull. If anything, it burned brighter. Inside my head, I was back in my room, reliving the intoxicating way his mouth had moved over mine. I could practically feel the slow sweep of his tongue and the rough slide of his hands.
Knowing exactly where my mind had gone—because somehow this man always knew—Liam lowered his head and gave me the kiss I’d just fantasized about. He took his time, tasting and savoring.
Every slant of his mouth stole my breath. While the leisurely lick of his tongue teased new, unfamiliar sounds from the back of my throat.
It was torture. It was bliss.
I couldn’t get enough.
And when he walked us to his California King, I went willingly. Eagerly. Because, goodness, I was more than ready for him to do something about the need swirling through my body.
But instead of throwing me down on the mattress and doing unspeakable things to me, Liam tore his mouth from mine.
My lips parted with a fiery protest poised on the tip of my tongue. Before I could voice it, he slid his thumb over my mouth. Holding my gaze, he dragged it along my jaw, down my throat, and gently teased his fingertips over my collarbone.
Goosebumps, they were everywhere. Even more popped up when his palm scraped down my arm. He reached my hand, tangling our fingers briefly before he took the hem of my shirt between his fingers.
“Have I told you how much I fucking love this?”
Ignoring the wild thumping inside my chest, I turned my attention to where he was rubbing the material between his thumb and forefinger. Back and forth, he felt the fabric without lifting my shirt even an inch.
“You like my shirt?”
His stare intensified. “You were wearing it your first night here…when you assaulted me with your toy.”
“Ah.” My cheeks heated immediately. “Here I was hoping you’d forgotten about that.”
“Forget? Never.” His face inched closer. “My mind has been running rampant thinking about you and that purple toy. The things you do, the noises you make. Fuck.” Closing his eyes, he let out a slow breath through his nose.
Two seconds ticked by then his lids parted, and those blue irises held me captive again. “One day, when you’re ready, I hope you’ll let me watch.”
This time when my heart sped up, it had nothing to do with nerves and everything to do with the scenario he’d just painted. I thought of that first night when he’d joked about video cameras, and I could so vividly envision him watching me.
I’d been turned on beyond belief then, and it wasn’t very different now. Imagining that serious gaze glued on me while I gave myself pleasure had my entire body humming with unfiltered desire.
My belly went weightless. White-hot need pooled between my legs.
“Fuck.”
His long, drawn-out curse had my attention quickly shifting back to him. Only his eyes didn’t meet mine. He stared at my chest. I glanced down and knew why, too. No words were needed for this man to understand how freaking turned on I was. Not a single one when my chest was so dang awesome at show-and-tell.
Liam licked a slow path along his bottom lip before he sucked his tongue between his teeth. Need tugged low in my belly, and I swear, if he kept staring at me like that—his beautiful face filled with wonderment and lust—I was going to come undone without him even laying a finger on me.
A ragged breath blew over my lips. Liam’s eyes immediately lifted to meet mine. “I want to touch you, Snow.”
There was a desperation in his voice I hadn’t heard before. The fiery need burning through my blood quickly turned into a raging inferno.
“Touch me.”
At my whispered words, his gaze darkened deliciously. But behind all that unfiltered desire, there was a question, too. One that made my knees weak and had my heart doing backflips.
Are you sure?
My answer came fast and easy.
One single nod.
Liam released a slow, steady breath but didn’t touch me yet. I almost groaned. Of course, he didn’t maul me like a beast the moment I gave the okay. No, this man, this I-belong-in-a-romance-novel man, held my gaze for a few long, long seconds, making sure I was one-hundred-percent certain before he made a move of any kind.
Naturally, that move was slow and careful.
With his eyes still firmly locked on mine, he steadily lifted his hand and palmed my breast. That first touch, albeit soft and tentative, sent a massive spark of electricity through every single one of my nerve endings. His thumb brushed over my hardened nipple, and I couldn’t stop a moan from slipping out.
“Oh.”
His touch flicked back and forth, back and forth. Delicious, tingly sparks spread through my body faster than a damn wildfire. This was new. My breasts had never been this sensitive before.
So sensitive I was almost sure I could have an orgasm like this.
More sparks. More tingles. My head fell back, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
“Are you wet for me, Snow?”
Incapable of forming actual words, I made a noise. The sound was needy enough for him to know the answer was a resounding yes.
“Show me.” Liam’s voice was rough and gravelly, almost like he was holding on to his last thread of sanity.
I knew the feeling so, so well.
Yet again, I found myself on the edge of a cliff. Only this time, it was a bit harder to jump than before.
You’re safe with me.
I trusted him. It was my traitorous mind I was having a hard time with.
“Can we…” Unable to meet his gaze, I slid my tongue over my lip. “Would it be okay if we turned off the lights and I kept my shirt on?” My lids immediately fluttered closed. I couldn’t bear to see the impact of my words.
Liam wasn’t having it, though. Tucking his fingers under my chin, he gently stroked my jaw with his thumb. “Will you look at me?”
One, two, four breaths passed before I found the courage to meet his gaze. And, man, what I saw burning in the deep-blue depths of his irises made my freaking knees weak.
“Don’t ever be afraid to voice your needs. If you need darkness, you’ll have it. If you need me to keep my hands to myself, I’ll do it.” He pinned me with a serious stare. “Tonight and every other night, I follow your commands.”
I’d never imagined he’d be this understanding. This ready to relinquish control. From my experience, most guys needed to be in charge.
Liam Maxwell wasn’t like most guys.
I lifted my chin. Behind my ribs, my heart thundered so wildly I was sure he could hear it. “You really don’t mind?”
Liam shook his head immediately. “It’s about you, Snow. It always is. Having you here, this close to me, has already been way more than I hoped for. I don’t need anything else to be satisfied.”
My mouth parted, but before a single sound could escape, he leaned closer.
“Don’t mistake my words. I want to see every fucking beautiful inch of you. Want to worship your body. But only when you’re ready.”
His words slipped under my skin and burrowed their way to my heart, wrapping around that bruised organ like a bandage.
I pushed onto the balls of my feet and touched my mouth to Liam’s. It was supposed to be a quick kiss. A small peck to say thank you for making me feel safe.
I should have known better.
Liam and I didn’t do quick when it came to kissing. Shoving his hands into my hair, he angled my head to drive his tongue deeper into my mouth. He was so done tasting and savoring. Whatever he did to me was an onslaught.
A dreamy, delicious onslaught.
One that got better with every brush of his mouth and bold stroke of his tongue. My lungs collapsed, desperate for air. I didn’t care. I couldn’t. Not when this man was devouring me so completely.
I wasn’t even sure how long we stayed like that before he tore his mouth from mine.
Breathing heavy, he ground out, “One sec.”
He twisted at the hip, bent down and flicked off the bedside lamp.
Harsh, inky darkness surrounded us. It was what I wanted, what I’d asked for, yet disappointment flooded my veins. I couldn’t see him anymore.
And he couldn’t see me.
The disappointment from earlier slowly dissipated. In its place, courage I never knew I possessed.
I reached beneath my shirt and found the waistband of my underwear. Curling my fingers around the elastic, I shoved it over my hips and wiggled until the flimsy piece of fabric pooled at my feet.
My eyesight adjusted to the darkness, and I was happy to see Liam’s big silhouette before me. Nerves rattled my bones, and that tiny voice in the back of my head threatened to make itself known.
I refused to stop and listen.
Instead, I took a step closer to Liam. I placed my hand on his chest. Beneath my palm, his heart beat to the same erratic rhythm as my own. It was wild to think he might’ve been as nervous as I was.
Crazy.
Comforting.
Exactly what I needed.
Slowly, painfully slowly, I smoothed my hand over his pecs and down his abs. The man was all hot skin and hard muscle, and I cursed the darkness yet again. Especially when I reached the top of his underwear and he hissed out a sharp breath.
I knew he was studying me. I’d felt the intensity of his stare the moment I’d touched him. I didn’t know what the rest of his achingly beautiful face was doing. Were those sinful lips pulled into a tight line? Was his jaw muscle jumping furiously fast?
Another step forward, and the distance between us disappeared. We stood so close; my breasts brushed his chest with every breath I took. So incredibly close I felt how turned on he was.
Knowing I’d done that to him was a power trip all on its own. Maybe that was why I threw all caution to the wind and guided his hand between my legs.
“Fuuuuck.” Liam cursed long and hard.
I wanted to curse, too.
Because, holy shit, feeling his fingers on me was even better than I’d imagined. Especially when he bent his knees and spread me wider. His touch was tentative but oh so freaking thorough.
And if he kept doing whatever magic he was doing, I’d see stars in no time.
“Mmm,” I moaned as he circled a particularly sensitive spot. “So good.”
A gravelly noise rumbled through Liam’s chest. “Have you been this wet the whole time?”
Heat crept into my cheeks, but since he couldn’t really see me, I swallowed the embarrassment back down.
“Yes.” What should have been a word came out in a hiss of pleasure.
Liam’s slow torture between my legs continued. “For me?”
His finger slipped inside me. My knees buckled, and I grabbed on to his shoulders to steady myself. The muscles rippled under my touch, and he let out another groan.
The sound was rough, sending my nerve endings into a freaking frenzy. Or maybe the frenzy came from the slow pace of his finger.
“Liam, I…ohh.” It was as far as I got because my brain refused to work.
“Tell me what you need, Snow.” Somehow, with all that happening, Liam took a seat on the edge of the bed and spread his long legs out on either side of me. With his free hand, he gripped my wrist and guided my hand to where he drove me wild.
“Show me how to make you feel good.”
Then his touch was gone.
My lips parted with a ferocious protest I quickly swallowed down when I realized what he wanted.
And since I was already way past the point of thinking straight, I didn’t hesitate. My fingers replaced his, and I wasted no time picking up where he’d left off. If he wanted me to finish on my own, I’d happily oblige.
I was that ready to combust.
And so miserably wrong.
Liam didn’t want me to go solo. Oh no, his big hand covered mine, feeling every touch, every move.
“I wish I could see you right now,” he murmured. “Riding your own hand like the damn queen you are. Fuck.” A guttural sound tore from his throat. “I’d probably come on the spot.”
“Oh my gosh.”
My breath hitched. My knees gave out. And Liam was right there to catch me. Banding his thick arm around my waist, he gently guided me onto his lap. His fingers found mine between my legs, and he lightly tugged them out of the way.
“My turn, sweet girl.”
One hand pushed into my hair while the other went back to work on my body. This time, he wasn’t slow. Artfully, skillfully, he played me like a musician plays his favorite instrument.
Fingers digging into my scalp, he pulled my lips to his. He kissed me deeply, urgently. Like he’d stared death in the face, and I was the only thing keeping him alive. He kissed me like I was precious.
Another finger joined the first, and I hummed into his mouth.
I rocked a little faster. His hips thrust up, but with our position, I knew there was no way he was getting the friction he needed. I had to change that. He had to feel good, too.
I tried to scoot closer, and when that didn’t work, I lowered my hand to his front. He was still wearing his slacks. Heck, they might have been unbuttoned, but he was still wearing all his clothes.
While I was getting off on his lap wearing nothing but a flimsy sleepshirt.
“Liam,” I breathed against his mouth. “I want to touch you, too.”
His lips slipped from mine, peppering my jaw with soft kisses all the way to the shell of my ear. “Not yet. This is about you.” He flicked his wrist and, holy crap. “But there is something you can do for me.”
Crazy. Whatever he did drove me in-freaking-sane. It was why I only managed a barely audible, “Anything.”
“Hmm.” The sensual sound rumbled through his chest and rolled over my skin. My hips grew even more restless. “So eager to please. So fucking sexy.” He nipped at the skin below my ear. “Come on my fingers, Snow.”
That was all it took for me to turn into one of the heroines from my books. One single command, and my orgasm slammed into me.
“Oh. Liam.”
Thank goodness I was sitting, because my legs wouldn’t have held me up as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me.
“I fucking love the way you say my name.” He kissed me softly and gently, slowly bringing me back to earth. “The way you feel. The noises you make. I haven’t even been inside you, and you’ve already ruined me, Snow.”
This man, with his wicked tongue and sweet words, was burrowing his way straight into my heart. He wasn’t even subtle about it. Bulldozing through every single one of my walls, brick by freaking brick.
I was terrified.
Liam Maxwell made me feel things, dangerous things, that scared the crap out of me. And if I wasn’t careful, he’d take my entire heart and never give it back again.