Chapter 25
Iwas particularly slow to wake the following morning. Lids heavy, body limp with satisfaction, I threw my arms above my head and arched my back. Halfway through my long, lazy stretch, my brain happily provided me with memories of the previous night.
Liam’s hands on me, his fingers inside me.
His lips on my skin, his tongue inside my mouth.
The things he’d said, the way he’d said them.
And finally, the moment he’d asked me to stay.
I’d been boneless and completely satiated when he’d crawled off the bed to get a washcloth to help clean me up. He’d wanted to do it himself, but since most of the orgasm euphoria had worn off, I’d taken the warm cloth from him.
I’d felt the weight of his stare while I’d hurried to his bathroom—after picking up my underwear, of course. Fear, self-consciousness, whatever it was, kept me behind that closed door far longer than needed.
By the time I’d eventually stepped out, I’d almost yelped because Liam was right there, casually leaning against the wall.
“You okay?” he’d asked.
The sincerity in his voice just about knocked me on my ass. I couldn’t recall when anyone had asked me that after an intimate moment. Not once. The fact he’d been the first one to do so did strange things to my insides.
I’d nodded and smiled. And since I’d had no clue what else to say or do, I’d awkwardly made my way to his bedroom door. A few steps into my escape, Liam’s big hand had clamped around my wrist and he’d spun me around.
His fingers had found the spot on my jaw he loved to stroke. For a few seconds he hadn’t said a word, just stared at me with a scary intensity in those deep-blue eyes I’d felt to my toes.
“Stay.”
One word—one raspy word—and my insides had been mush. I would have said yes right then and there, but then his lips had parted again.
“I swear, I won’t do anything. I…I just want to hold you, if that’s all right?”
True to his word, he hadn’t done anything sexual. He’d simply hooked his arms around me and pulled my body against his. I’d never fallen asleep that fast in my life.
Or slept that good.
Which, in hindsight, could’ve been why I was so slow to wake up.
Arms locked above my head; I stretched out my limbs one last time before pushing into a seated position. As suspected, the spot beside me was cold and empty. Liam was an early riser. The man got up way earlier than what would be considered normal. I knew this, yet a tiny stab of disappointment speared through my chest.
Before I got too hung up on it, though, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and took the opportunity to properly study his bedroom. Varying shades of gray dominated the space. Oddly enough, there was nothing heavy or dark about it.
Probably because the enormous window-wall lit up the space with copious amounts of natural light.
Funny how I hadn’t noticed it last night.
Yeah, you were too busy having a mind-blowing orgasm.
Ignoring the sarcastic little voice inside my head, I wandered to the glass and peered at the city below. The sun slowly peeked over the horizon, orange and pink streaking the sky like a painter’s brush had made it just so.
Diamond-studded rays glinted off the windows of every building as far as the eye could see. Wow. I hadn’t seen the city like this, and it absolutely stole my breath.
I brushed my fingertips over the glass. “It’s so beautiful.”
“Yes, it is.”
I slammed a hand over my chest and spun around. Liam stood in his doorway. His chest was bare and oh-so sweaty, but it was the look in his eyes that weakened my knees.
“Morning,” he said.
“Hi.” I nibbled on my lip, a little nervous and a whole lot exposed. “You’re up early.”
Ugh. I wanted to put my foot in my mouth. To make the situation even more weird, Liam didn’t say anything. Nope, all he did was stare. That wasn’t entirely true. He didn’t just stare. The man drank me in.
Slowly, steadily dragging his gaze over every inch of my body. He was across the freaking room, and yet it felt like he was right there in front of me, trailing his big hands over my skin.
“I thought nothing was more stunning than watching the sun rise from that very spot you’re standing in.” Gaze boring into mine, he licked his lips. “I was wrong.”
What the heck was I supposed to say to that? Thank you for thinking my disheveled morning appearance is pretty? Yeah, somehow, that didn’t sound quite right.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to say a thing. Liam swept into the room, and it was only when he got to where I’d slept that I noticed the tray in his hands. Curiosity and a desperate need to be close to him drew me to the bedside table.
“I wanted to make breakfast.” A chuckle rumbled through his chest, the light and happy sound laced with a healthy dose of embarrassment. “But I have no idea what you like.”
I inspected the tray’s contents. My heart just about lurched out of my chest. A teapot with a matching cup, a honey jar, and a plate with perfectly sliced apples.
He’d said he didn’t know what I liked. But he did. He knew exactly. There weren’t any funny dips behind my ribs or butterflies fluttering through my belly. Whatever went on inside my body was so much bigger than that.
It was the top of the roller coaster right before you surged forward at breakneck speed. It was free-falling out of a plane thirty thousand feet in the air without a parachute.
“It’s perfect,” I whispered.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Liam’s big frame turning toward me. I couldn’t look at him. Not yet. What if my eyes betrayed me? What if everything he made me feel was right there for him to see?
A featherlight touch brushed over my shoulder, forcing my attention away from my crazy thoughts. Knowing I couldn’t avoid him forever, I finally met his gaze.
“There’s something I need to say to you,” he said, voice low and gritty.
I swallowed, then swallowed again when he invaded my space and slid his palm along the back of my neck. Those long fingers slipped into my hair and I barely suppressed a shiver.
“I’m sorry.” He stepped even closer, tightening his hold on the back of my head.
He was hot and sweaty, yet somehow, he smelled like a walk in the woods. I wanted to bury my nose in the crook of his neck, close my eyes, and breathe him in. Until his words registered.
My stomach dropped. “What are you sorry for?”
Liam’s gaze roamed over my face for a few treacherously long seconds. “My grandfather,” he rasped. “He shouldn’t have treated you that way. I shouldn’t have let it happen. I’m sorry.”
A wave of relief washed over me. “Oh, Liam.” I pressed my palm to the ink scribbled below his left pec. His heart went wild, slamming furiously against my touch. “You have nothing to apologize for. His actions are his own.”
His throat bobbed. “Maybe so, but I should have stopped him.”
“You threw him out.”
“Not soon enough,” he said quickly. “It will never happen again. Never. I’d rather take a knife to the heart than allow anyone to treat you like that.”
His voice’s earnestness and the serious expression on his impossibly handsome face wreaked havoc on my already overloaded system.
My heart beat to a dangerous rhythm, whispering things I didn’t want to say out loud, let alone allow myself to think.
But it was there all the same. Simmering just below the surface.
“To think we share the same blood makes me sick.” Liam dropped his hands and took a step back. “I have this deep-rooted fear that someday I’ll wake up and be just like him.”
“You won’t,” I said honestly. “The fact that you’re standing here apologizing for something he did tells me I’m right.”
His entire demeanor changed. He dragged a rough hand through his hair and turned his back to me. “You don’t…” His broad shoulders slumped.
My heart hiccupped at how defeated he suddenly seemed.
“You don’t know the things I’ve done.”
I stepped up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Sometimes people who hurt just needed a hug.
“Everyone has a past, Liam. There isn’t a person alive who doesn’t have skeletons in their closet or things that keep them up at night. And yes, I don’t know everything, but”—I slid my palm up the left side of his chest—“I know enough that I can honestly say you have a good heart.”
He twisted in my arms, and those stormy eyes bored into mine. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely.”
I licked my lips. His gaze flicked down to follow the action. “Look at what you did for my dad. I never asked you to, and yet you did it anyway. There aren’t many people who’d do that.”
His lips parted, but instead of talking, he held my face between his palms and slanted his mouth over mine.
There was nothing gentle in the way his tongue coiled and twisted around mine. It was brutal, almost punishing.
A sweet, delicious torture that drove me wild.
Raw, unfiltered desire spread through my veins, fast and hot. My hands shot to his hips. Not only to feel his skin beneath my touch but, embarrassingly, to keep myself steady. Because the wicked things Liam did with his tongue weakened my knees and curled my toes.
I couldn’t recall a time when kissing had been this intense, this all-consuming.
And yet, every single time I’d tasted Liam’s mouth, this was exactly how it was.
Crazy.
Electrifying.
And, honestly, scary as shit.
That wasn’t something I wanted to think about right then. Concentrating on those big hands and their relentless hold on my face and the harsh sweep of his tongue was a far better use of my time.
I had no idea how long we kissed like that before we finally broke apart.
“Wow,” I breathed.
“Yeah.”
Gently resting his forehead against mine, Liam brushed his thumbs over my cheeks. His impossibly long fingers ended up in my hair, the tips firmly digging into my scalp.
I closed my eyes and sighed. “You’re so good at kissing me stupid.”
I hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. Embarrassment crawled up my cheeks and heated my skin.
“That’s good to know.” He chuckled. “Especially since I haven’t kissed anyone in decades.”
My eyes flew open. “You haven’t…? What?”
With another chuckle, he ran his nose along mine. “Yeah, but that’s a story for another day.”
I had so many questions, so freaking many, but instead of voicing them, I whispered a soft “Okay” against his lips.
My answer must not have been to his liking. A frustrated noise pushed past his throat, and he took a few steps backward.
“No.” Shaking his head, he roughly shoved a hand through his hair. “No, it’s not. You deserve more than the little snippets I give you.”
My shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Am I curious? Yes. Do I have a million questions? Also yes. But, Liam, I know how hard it is to talk about things. And I also know you’ll share parts of you with me when you’re ready to share them.”
“I’ve never met anyone like you.”
I blushed a little at his words. I wasn’t even sure why.
“My parents weren’t the best example of how to love,” he started. “Their marriage wasn’t a good or happy one. They weren’t affectionate with each other, or rather, my father wasn’t affectionate toward my mother.”
I thought of my parents and how they were with each other. The way my dad always found my mom across a room. The linger of my mom’s hand on my dad’s arm when she walked past him. The love in their eyes when they looked at each other.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “It must have been hard.”
“I was very young and, at the time, didn’t really know much about anything. Just that I didn’t want to be like my father.” His jaw clenched, the muscle popping furiously. “I couldn’t bear the thought of treating someone the way he treated my mother. So it was easier not to get involved with anyone.”
My brain worked overtime, desperately trying to decipher what he’d said. “Are you a…?” I couldn’t get the words out. “Have you not been with anyone?”
There was no way this man who kissed like it was his job and expertly brought me to orgasm with his fingers was still a virgin. He was what…thirty-five? And looked like the gods themselves sculpted him. Yeah, no way in hell he hadn’t sown his wild oats.
The skin beneath his scruff changed color. That same pinkish hue appeared high on his cheeks and my mouth popped open.
“No way.”
The man was embarrassed out of his mind, but he didn’t avert his gaze. Unblinking, unwavering, he held my stare. “I have been with someone. Once. I was a teenager, and everyone was doing it, so I wanted to see what the fuss was about. I found the entire act rather meaningless and promised myself never to do things just for the sake of doing them.”
My eyes widened some more.
“Kissing and sex…it’s so intimate. So personal. You’re sharing this vulnerable part of yourself with someone else, trusting them with your needs. That’s why even a kiss has to mean something.” He took a small step forward. “It’s why Laura in the eleventh grade was the first and last girl I kissed. And even then, it wasn’t because I’d absolutely wanted to.”
My knees gave out. Good thing I stood next to the bed, otherwise my butt would have landed on the floor instead of the mattress.
…even a kiss has to mean something.
Heart hammering against my ribs, I touched my fingers to my mouth. “You kissed me.”
“Yeah, I did.” His gaze dropped to my lips for a fraction of a second. “And I really want to kiss you again.”
“Because when we kiss, it means something.” It wasn’t a question; it was the truth. When Liam and I kissed, it wasn’t just physical. I’d felt the churning behind my breastbone. Heard the new wild rhythm my heart beat to.
And now I knew it was the same for him.
Liam closed the distance between us and took my face between his hands. Bending over, he inched his brutally beautiful face closer to mine, pausing a breath away from my mouth.
“It means everything, Snow.”
This time, his movements were deep and slow. And oh-so intense. Every swipe of his tongue filled me with warmth. Not the I-really-need-a-release kind. No, this was something far more dangerous.
It whispered of being safe, being taken care of.
It whispered forever.
And we didn’t have that. We had a time frame. Five years.
I didn’t want to think about that. Not now when he was kissing me so thoroughly. Maybe not ever.
Shoving the thought to the back of my mind, I focused all my attention on Liam. On the way his lips moved over mine, the sensual lick of his tongue, and how deliciously close I was to the front of his shorts.
I ran my hand over his length. Liam’s entire body jerked, and he cursed a wicked streak into my mouth.
So I did it again.
“Fuck, Snow.”
His tone held a warning, but other than that, he didn’t do a damn thing to stop me. Feeling a whole lot bolder than the previous night, I dipped my fingers into his shorts and dragged them along his waistband.
I licked my lips and held his intense stare. “If last night was about me, can this morning be about you?” I swallowed past the nerves lodged in my throat. “Can I touch you?”
He didn’t answer immediately. Simply stared at me with that intense look in his eyes and his jaw jumping like it was its job. Maybe he didn’t want my hands on him and he was figuring out how to say no.
I was about to tell him it was okay when he finally spoke.
“Yes, fucking please.”
My entire body shivered at the sound of those gravelly words. I wanted to close my eyes and bathe in the sensations rolling over my skin. But I wanted to watch him more.
I held his gaze and shoved his shorts and briefs down just far enough to free his erection. I maintained eye contact for a few more seconds until I finally glanced down and got my first real look at him.
“Oh, my.” He was proportioned. So freaking proportioned. “You’re…uh…wow.”
Liam groaned. A deep guttural sound that vibrated through all my sensitive parts. “Fuck, Snow. You keep saying things like that, and I’ll come without you even touching me.”
I would have liked to test that theory if I hadn’t been so desperate to feel him in my hand. Nibbling on my lips, I wrapped my fingers around him.
Liam immediately sucked in a sharp breath and then another when I worked my hand all the way down.
“Holy shit,” he muttered. “Feels so good.”
I tightened my hold and increased my pace. Not a lot, just enough to tease deep, gravelly groans from his lungs. My gaze flicked between his beautiful face and my working hand. I wondered what he’d do if I lay back, pulled my panties aside, and begged him to fill me up.
The thought alone had me squeezing my thighs tight and cursing myself at the same time.
Because even after everything he’d said, I still wasn’t ready for him to see me. Especially not with all this light around us.
Ignoring the stab of disappointment in myself, I put all my efforts into pushing Liam over the edge. I dragged my hand and smoothed my palm over the head before sliding down his length again.
He really liked that. His hips thrust forward, and the most unholy sounds spilled from his lips. It fueled me. And if I hadn’t cupped his balls in my free hand, I probably would have reached beneath my shirt to give myself a little relief.
I was so turned on; it wouldn’t even have taken that long to have an orgasm.
“Snow. Slow down,” Liam begged, voice hoarse and thick with need. “I’m too close.”
I worked my hand faster and faster. Up and down, up and down. Liam cursed. Loudly. Repeatedly. I didn’t stop. One, three, five more strokes, and he swelled against my palm. He was so freaking close, and I couldn’t wait to see him come undone.
Brushing the tips of my fingers over his balls, I gave that final push. But it was too much. Liam’s legs buckled, and before I knew what was happening, he pitched forward and fell on top of me.
My hand was still tightly wrapped around him, and on the stroke up, he finally roared his release. A hot, sticky mess spilled over my hand and seeped through my shirt onto my skin.
“Fuck.” Faster than my brain could comprehend, he pushed himself up on his arms and gave me a pleading look. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
I pressed my clean hand against his cheek. “I think it’s hot.”
The way his eyes darkened sent delicious tingles throughout my body. Maybe that was why the words bubbled over my lips without permission.
“Why don’t you do it on purpose next time?”
“Fuck me.” With a groan, he lowered his head and nipped at the skin along my jaw. “You are a very fucking dangerous woman, Snow.”
Dangerous? No, I wasn’t dangerous, I was screwed. So monumentally screwed.