Chapter 4
4
It was early on Monday morning and because Belle had been rushing about grabbing breakfast and a coffee, she hadn’t had time to feel nervous as she answered Caleb’s video call. While his face appeared on her phone screen, his warm voice filled the kitchen.
‘I was hoping I’d catch you before you left for work to give you the good news,’ he said. ‘I’d be delighted to welcome you to Spirit. The job is yours if you’re happy to take it?’
Holding the phone in one hand and clutching a half-eaten piece of toast in the other, Belle stared at the screen, his words taking a moment to sink in.
‘Belle?’ Caleb frowned. ‘You’ve not frozen again, have you?’
‘Yes. I mean no.’ She dropped her toast onto the plate and grinned. ‘I’m here, but my goodness yes, I’d absolutely love the position. Thank you.’
All her anxiety over her recent decisions, from breaking up with Isaac to handing in her notice, was replaced by a fizz of possibility.
She thanked Caleb profusely and he promised to be in touch with more details. Belle headed to work with renewed energy, her foreseeable future in motion. With only a week and a half left, she’d have very little to do with Isaac which was a huge relief. Now she needed to sort out what she was going to do about her house while she was away. And pack and plan. There was lots to do but she hadn’t felt this light, this free or excited for a long time.
On the Tube she messaged Hannah, her best friend in London, and arranged to meet for dinner at a pizza place not far from where they both worked. The job offer was as thrilling as it was terrifying and Hannah was the first person she wanted to tell.
‘So, how did the award ceremony go?’ Hannah asked the moment their drinks had been brought over.
‘Like a dream.’ Belle raised her glass of lemonade. They were sitting opposite each other at the end of a long communal table with flattering overhead lighting that highlighted Hannah’s trademark red lips. ‘The ceremony itself went without a hitch and Bill Nighy hosting was such a hit?—’
‘Oh God, I’d love to meet him.’
‘He was utterly charming; you’d have loved him even more than you already do. And the dinner and party afterwards, honestly, I couldn’t have asked for more. It was the perfect way for me to bow out.’
Hannah suddenly leaned forward, her eyes wide. ‘Oh my God, the job interview! I totally forgot. How did it go?’
‘It’s actually the reason I suggested meeting this evening. I was offered the job.’
Hannah’s squeal was cut short by the waiter bringing over their pizzas. Grinning, she shook her head and sat back in her chair.
‘I am made up for you, I really am, but it’s Ibiza,’ she said once the waiter had left. ‘You’re going to be so far away.’
Belle picked up a slice of her chargrilled aubergine and smoked mozzarella pizza. ‘That’s the point, to get away. It’s been difficult and so awkward since I ended things with Isaac. I’ve always loved going to work but recently I’ve been dreading it.’
‘I know it’s been challenging, but you breaking up with someone shouldn’t have to impact your career.’
‘But the job in Ibiza is actually a great opportunity. It’s different, but I think it’ll do me good.’
Hannah took a bite of her creamy spinach and parmesan pizza. ‘I’m just selfishly wishing nothing was changing and you could carry on living in London and working harmoniously with Isaac.’
Belle studied Hannah. ‘How’s still living with your ex-husband going?’
Hannah pursed her lips and raised her glass of lemonade. ‘Touché.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Belle said. ‘I know my situation is completely different because Isaac and I didn’t even live together – at least not properly. We were never serious. Although judging by his reaction, he obviously felt differently. We weren’t going anywhere. I refuse to settle just to be with someone.’
‘It’s good you know your own mind but breaking up with someone, quitting your job and moving to another country in a short space of time is a lot. Not many people would be able to do what you’ve done.’
‘I just need to get away. You’ve been understanding about me and Isaac but most people including my parents and some other friends don’t get it because they thought he was perfect. On paper maybe.’ Belle tapped the left side of her chest. ‘In here, not so much.’
‘Well,’ Hannah said, swallowing a mouthful of pizza, ‘if anyone understands that, it’s me.’
Belle nodded, hesitant to ask the question because she could so easily have found herself in Hannah’s position if she’d made different choices. ‘Do you regret marrying Jake?’
‘No, because I loved him and we got married for the right reasons. It just didn’t work out. Like you and Isaac, our feelings for each other weren’t strong enough to weather the ups and downs. Although him cheating ended it. The problem is having a mortgage together. Working in London and trying to find somewhere affordable separately is a nightmare. Living together while not being together like you just pointed out is shit. How the hell we’re supposed to move on mentally, emotionally and physically is beyond me. I mean, what happens if I meet someone else and want to bring them home?’
‘I guess you don’t at the moment. Not ideal, I know, but it won’t be forever.’ Belle paused. ‘But I do have a suggestion for a short-term fix if you’re interested.’ Belle finished a mouthful of smoky pizza and explained how she didn’t want to leave her house empty for months. ‘So if you can come to some agreement with Jake, and you’re okay paying me just enough to cover the bills, then you’re welcome to stay at mine until I’m back.’
‘Oh my God! Are you serious?’ Hannah practically launched herself out of the chair. ‘That would be amazing; I’m sure Jake will jump at the chance. Not that I should care what he thinks.’
‘As long as you don’t mind being the one to move out temporarily?’
‘Into your place? Are you kidding me? It’s closer to work, I’ll have a garden throughout the summer and no grumpy ex to try and avoid day in, day out.’ She practically squealed. ‘Sounds perfect. Rather like you avoiding working with your ex and escaping to Ibiza for the summer…’
‘I really am, aren’t I? You’re the first person I’ve told because I knew you’d be happy for me.’
‘I am, and not just because I get to stay in your lovely flat and you’re saving me from more awkwardness and stress. Why haven’t you told Gem and Laurie though? I thought they’d be the first to know.’
Belle shrugged and watched the guy working behind the marbled counter flip some pizza dough. ‘I’ll tell them when I see them on the weekend.’
‘You’ve not talked to them recently?’
‘I don’t tend to talk to Gem properly unless we actually see each other, just the odd text every so often. I’ve given up really, because if I tell her about an exciting event I’m working on she’s quick to change the subject; and if I tell her about something that’s gone wrong or I’m upset about she rolls her eyes like I have no right to moan.’
‘Do you think she’s jealous?’
‘Maybe. She works part time to fit in with her kids but I know she’s desperate to work full time. She doesn’t mind her job, but being a PA at a solicitors isn’t what she wants to do.’
‘She’s still trying to set up an interior design business?’
‘Which she’ll never do unless she takes the plunge.’
‘Difficult when she’s got young kids.’ Hannah dabbed away a spot of tomato sauce from her lips with a napkin.
‘She’s got a huge following on Instagram and stages her house beautifully; there’s so much potential.’ Belle sighed and scooped up another slice of pizza. ‘It’s hard to know what’s really going on without talking to her properly. There’s a distance that was never there before and I feel like we’re less and less a part of each other’s lives as the years go by.’
‘It’ll be different when you see her. I have friends like that who I don’t speak to for ages, then we meet up and slip back into our friendship like no time has passed at all.’ Hannah shuffled her chair sideways as the guy next to her made to leave. ‘And things are okay with Laurie?’
‘Sort of. I talk to her often but I get the feeling she’s holding something back. We skirt around personal stuff. To be fair, I’ve been doing the same, not really talking about my feelings over Isaac, mainly because I’m aware everyone thinks I’m mad for letting him go.’
‘But if you weren’t happy, it was the right thing to do.’
‘Gem thought I was nuts; she just didn’t get it.’ Belle gazed across the restaurant, clocking the loved-up couples among the tables of colleagues grabbing a bite to eat post-work. ‘I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t sad either, just discontented which sounds pretty pathetic.’
‘No, it sounds realistic. I get it.’ Hannah shrugged. ‘It’s what we all do, spend years chasing a dream job and perfect relationship and when they don’t live up to our expectations, it’s disappointing.’
Belle knew it was her personal life rather than her professional one that had been the problem, which was why mixing the two by having a relationship with a colleague had been a mistake, although perhaps it had been the push she’d needed to make a positive change. She couldn’t continue to feel lost and uncertain, or shoulder the constant feeling of failure for never being satisfied despite everything she’d achieved.
Hannah sipped her lemonade. ‘But the job in Ibiza, you’re sure about it?’
‘It’s a risk and an unknown but I feel so hemmed in and troubled here without really understanding why. I’m not sure what I want apart from doing something different.’
‘I think what you’re doing is brave, but then you’ve been brave and focused and determined from the moment I met you.’ Hannah looked at her with a mixture of awe and pity. ‘Do you think all these drastic changes have something to do with the ten-year anniversary of the accident coming up?’
Belle’s chest tightened and her palms felt sweaty as she put down her half-eaten pizza slice. ‘I think being somewhere completely different for a while can only be a good thing.’
Hannah nodded but didn’t comment further. She raised her glass. ‘Well, I’m happy for you. Congrats, Belle. You’re going to smash it; new job, new country, all that partying…’
‘Mmm, I’m not sure clubbing will be my top priority this time. But a summer of sunshine by the sea, organising exclusive events, forgetting about my string of disastrous relationships, getting away from London and being able to focus on myself for a while is much needed.’