Chapter 19
19
When Caleb said goodnight to Belle it hadn’t been the first time he’d kissed her cheeks, but it had been the first time it meant something and the first time he’d considered doing more. His insides somersaulted at the feel of her smooth skin and the way she sank into him when he held on to her a touch too long as he focused on her lips, pink and plump and so insanely kissable. She smelled of a mandarin-fresh perfume and sunscreen and summer. Perhaps he was reading into things that weren’t there. It had been a euphoric end to a day that could have gone so horribly wrong were it not for Belle’s quick thinking and calm, efficient, confident management of the situation. Perhaps that was what made kissing her goodnight feel different. Except, on his way home he played the moment over and over in his head, from the way she’d looked at him to the way he’d wished her lips were on his, biting, teasing, kissing.
He phoned Cara the minute he got back to Solace. It was early in the morning in Australia and she was up and about while he was heading to bed alone. He told her what had happened, and it was good to talk to the only person who would understand his confused feelings and wouldn’t judge, who wouldn’t try and push him too hard about not doing something with Belle or about actually doing something… Because his thoughts were spiralling that way and his body was certainly betraying his head. Cara was his sounding board and his best mate, who told him the truth and allowed him to feel everything he needed to: grief, confusion, desire, hope, possibility, a crazy mess of difficult emotions that constantly fought each other.
Even after talking to Cara and hearing her pragmatic ‘you’re a hot-blooded man attracted to a beautiful woman who you’re drawn to so there’s nothing wrong with fantasising even if you don’t act on it’ talk, it didn’t make him feel any less anxious about taking Belle to Maria and Juan’s the next day. When they arrived there together, no one said anything about Belle being there in place of Cara, but he could tell they were wondering what his relationship with Belle was exactly. He didn’t have to try and see it through their eyes to know what they were thinking when he was trying to figure out if his attraction to Belle was about more than just the way her hair fell around her shoulders or the way the necklace she wore drew his eyes to her smooth skin and down to the curve of her breasts…
The second Maria caught Caleb’s eye and gave him a slight nod, he knew she’d caught him looking at Belle. There was a sadness in Maria’s eyes that was always there, but a warmth shone through in her gentle smile that was enough to calm his racing heart. Why did looking at another woman still feel as if he was cheating? It wasn’t as if he’d never been with another woman since Paloma… But of course it was the way Belle made him feel that was different. Was that why he’d asked if she could come? To test the water? To see the family’s reaction to another woman, someone who wasn’t a comfortably safe and platonic friend like Cara?
Belle was quiet but friendly. He’d sensed how overwhelmed she’d been when they’d first arrived to a cacophony of people and a barrage of names. A drink had been handed to her and food offered straight away, yet she’d taken it in her stride, politely accepting one of Maria’s homemade ham croquettes and rolling her eyes at its deliciousness – Caleb knew because it was one of his favourite things – and he loved how she’d immediately told Maria just how good it was.
She was unsurprisingly reserved but she happily chatted to Maria and Gabriela who both made sure she was included. Caleb watched her take everything in, trying to get to grips with the names and relationships of what was a sizeable family for someone who was an only child. Of course she’d already met Diego at Ushua?a, and the other three brothers, Lluís, àngel and Tomàs, who all still lived on the island, were as friendly and easy going as Paloma had been. The fifth brother, Javier, lived in Barcelona. Even though he wasn’t there, it was still rare to have everyone else together, but Maria insisted that they did this once a month, although it wasn’t easy to fit it in alongside running the family restaurant. Since Juan had semi-retired, his two eldest sons were running it, Lluís in the kitchen and àngel at the front of house. It was the perfect balance because Caleb knew how relieved Maria and Juan were to not have the two of them fighting for dominance in the kitchen.
It was well past three by the time they sat down to eat. A huge paella was placed in the centre of the table with extras like bread and aioli, marinated olives and various salads. Caleb joined in with the conversations that bounced around, but he found himself keeping an eye on Belle most of all, loving the way she eagerly accepted piles of food and seemed genuinely happy to be there. When she caught him looking at her and smiled, it sent his heart racing.