Chapter 20
20
Caleb’s presence at Maria and Juan’s was comforting, because apart from her parents’ thirtieth wedding anniversary, Belle had never experienced a family get-together quite like it. Weddings and funerals were the only time she was ever around lots of relatives. This was just a normal weekend for the Torres Corchado family.
When Belle was growing up it had only been her mum, dad and her, and with the rest of their family spread all over the place, the only thing that had come close to this kind of joyfully loud gathering had been spending time with Laurie’s family. Gem’s too. Before she’d had children, Gem’s mum had been a massive clubber, and her love of eighties’ and nineties’ pop and dance music lived on with after-school kitchen discos dancing to Soul II Soul, Madonna and Neneh Cherry. Belle’s own parents had more of a comfy slippers and Radio 3 vibe about them. From what Caleb had said, he’d missed out on all of this too. It was no wonder he’d embraced Paloma’s family just as they’d taken him to their hearts.
She’d expected the food to be good but it was sensational. Perhaps it was the combination of the company and warmth of a loving family along with the location and the delicious food that made it special. She remembered bits about what Diego had told her about his parents running a restaurant, yet she was in this strange situation where no one else knew their real connection, not even Caleb, and it was far too awkward to reveal it now, particularly when he was the person who kept stealing her attention. Diego was as good-looking as he’d been when she’d first met him but it was Caleb who she found herself drawn to. Although older, he was equally handsome, but in a way that had grown on her rather than the in-her-face immediacy of Diego’s bulging biceps and smooth ridged chest. The short-sleeved shirt Caleb was wearing was open at the neck, the linen thin and pale so she could make out the imprint of his tattoo across one side of his chest. The scaled face of a dragon reached all the way to his neck. The laughter lines around his eyes showed that despite everything he’d been through, there’d still been happiness. Because happiness was here in abundance, even though she was with a family who had all lost someone special: a sister, an aunt, a wife, a daughter. It was an unfathomable loss but one they dealt with collectively while still managing to find the good in life. What she loved most was how Caleb was still very much part of the family, which said an awful lot about him and left her feeling honoured to have been brought into their fold.
With four of the brothers there, plus two wives and a partner, six grandchildren of varying ages, Caleb and her, they squeezed on to two long bench tables on the covered terrace at the back of the house. The children argued about who was sitting where until Maria made an executive decision and arranged them all at one end of the table. Everyone else sat where they liked and Belle found herself squeezed between Maria and àngel’s wife Gabriela with Caleb opposite next to Diego. Drinks were poured and the last of the dishes were brought out. Maria encouraged everyone to help themselves.
‘You came to Ibiza before, sí ?’ Maria asked Belle once she made sure the food was being dished onto plates.
Belle didn’t dare meet Diego’s eyes.
‘Only for a week on holiday when I was young.’
‘You are still young!’ Maria dolloped two large spoonfuls of paella onto her and Belle’s plates. ‘You like our island enough to come back to live though.’
‘Yes, it was always my intention to come back, but the job at Spirit came along at exactly the right time.’
‘We are glad. With Cara gone, Caleb struggles. It is good to know he has you.’
Maria’s words were as warm as a hug. To know she was doing him some good pleased her no end, yet she was uncertain if there was more meaning to Maria saying ‘he has you’.
Overthinking things had long been a problem, particularly when it came to relationships. Dissecting things had ultimately destroyed every one. She didn’t want to settle when it came to love; she wanted to fearlessly and passionately love and to be with someone who felt right in every way, who she could connect to in heart, body and soul. No one so far came close and that included Diego, of that she was now sure.
Caleb had been right about lunch turning into dinner. Eating was a blissfully long and leisurely pastime for Diego’s family. While the youngest grandchild had a nap, everyone else ate, chatted and ate some more. It was wonderful to be pulled into such a big loving family even for a short while. She’d made good friends in London, but since living on her own, there were plenty of moments of loneliness. She could only wish for something as wonderful as this in her life.
After they’d finished eating and had cleared away all the empty bowls and plates from the table, Belle didn’t avoid Diego on purpose, but she certainly didn’t go out of her way to speak to him. He took her by surprise when she was on her own for a couple of minutes and came over.
‘You’ve made an impression on him.’ Diego nodded to where Caleb was deep in conversation with Lluís. ‘Only Cara’s ever had an invite over here.’
Belle pursed her lips. ‘I think he’s just being nice.’
‘Caleb is nice but he tends to do things for a reason. You being here is meaningful.’
‘Are you okay with me being here?’
The awkwardness she felt was more from embarrassment that they’d had sex than wishing they could rekindle and repeat.
‘I’m okay with it.’ He shrugged and lowered his voice. ‘It was only sex.’
Wasn’t that the truth, yet at the time it had felt like so much more – he’d seemed like so much more: a perfect, utterly gorgeous man who had stolen her heart.
‘I get that you must have had a different woman in your bed every week, but when I introduced myself at Ushua?a, you didn’t remember me, did you?’
‘Is that a fair question when you assume how many women I’ve been with?’
‘I think it is.’ Belle held his gaze. ‘Particularly when you remembered Gem without me even saying her name.’
Something like surprise or shock or maybe even guilt flickered across his face.
Belle sighed. ‘But we really don’t need to talk about this, certainly not here. It happened, it was a long time ago and it’s not relevant any longer. I don’t want either of us to feel uncomfortable about something we did ten years ago, because like you said, it was nothing more than sex.’
‘Had you wanted to see me on your last night?’
A flicker of uncertainty flared inside her. Was it possible that he regretted missing out on their last night together as much as she had? If the abrupt text message he’d sent the next morning after she’d apologised for not meeting up with him was anything to go by, then no, he hadn’t regretted it. Yet despite him probably not feeling the same way, she wanted to be honest with him.
‘Oh my God, I wanted to see you so much.’ It was her turn to keep her voice hushed, aware of his family around them, Caleb most of all. ‘That whole night was a disaster and I had no way of contacting you until I got my phone back.’
‘Because Gem had it,’ Diego said with a shrug. ‘And you had to look after your friend.’
‘Yeah, I couldn’t leave her, and after I lost Gem and had no way of contacting her or you…’ Her voice trailed off.
The cologne he wore wasn’t as overpowering as it used to be, a more subtle vanilla and oak scent that she was only picking up on because they were leaning close. Ten years ago it had been strong and zesty and in-her-face, as bold as he’d been. And it was only talking to him now, remembering, that she was connecting things. There had been a zesty cologne on Gem too when she’d got back to their hotel after being out all night.
Belle sat up straighter on the bench as thoughts chased round her head. ‘You remembered Gem’s name,’ she repeated, ‘but only have vague memories of me…’
‘I did remember you.’
‘Only once I jogged your memory about who I was.’ Her thoughts spiralled tighter and tighter. ‘You just said Gem had my phone, but there’s no way you could know that, because I never told you. Unless…’ Suddenly her muddled thoughts were replaced by absolute clarity. ‘Unless you were with Gem that night. You were, weren’t you?’
Diego glanced around at his family, opened his mouth then shut it as he turned back to Belle. ‘It’s difficult to explain what happened and how we ended up together?—’
‘Oh my God, you really were! How the hell did you two…’ She held up her hand and lowered her voice. ‘Actually, I don’t want to hear any more.’ Her heart pounded and her skin crawled with a sudden uncomfortable heat. She scrambled off the bench and paced away from him. Feeling utterly foolish, she retreated inside to find the bathroom. The last thing she wanted to do was have a conversation about what he’d got up to with one of her best friends while surrounded by his family. While Caleb was here.
Everything she’d believed about Diego, about their time together, what he’d meant to her and what she’d possibly meant to him, had been destroyed by a well-hidden truth that she hadn’t had a clue about. Until now.