Chapter 21
21
JULY 2013, TEN YEARS AGO
The ease Gem had felt the night before with Diego disappeared as quickly as the sun behind a cloud the instant she opened her eyes. Disorientated by being in a strange room, it took her a moment to realise her phone was ringing, the light too bright for her tender head. Before she could grab it, the caller rang off.
Diego stirred and rolled over, all tousled bed hair and unfamiliar features. They met each other’s eyes, groggy from lack of sleep and massively hungover. Immediate regret clamped around Gem’s heart. Diego’s eyes shifted from hers. He moved onto his back, ran his hands over his face and up through his dark curls. The shame she was feeling wasn’t because she’d cheated on Dan but because she’d cheated with Diego. He may have only been a summer fling for Belle but Gem was acutely aware she’d crossed a line that should never be crossed with friends. Yet the night had been epic, not just because it had ended with her having the best sex she’d ever had, regardless of being drunk, but because of all that had come before it: partying at Pacha with Diego, baring their souls and talking to each other about everything, connecting as much emotionally as they had physically. None of that could erase the sickening feeling of regret…
‘Last night was…’ Diego’s voice was raspy, as if his throat was dry.
‘A mistake,’ Gem said firmly. ‘You don’t have to say it, I know.’
He turned to look at her. His cheeks tightened and there was something in his expression that made her falter. ‘A mistake’ was what he was going to say, wasn’t it? Because however fucking good last night had been, it should never have happened.
And yet the way he was looking at her made her want to repeat it over and over again. She tore her eyes from his and grabbed her phone from the bedside table. Her heart dropped at the sight of the missed calls from Laurie’s phone. Nausea wound its way through her and her stomach constricted. The vice around her heart tightened, and her pulse raced like she’d overdosed on caffeine. She clicked on the voicemail Belle had just left.
‘Where the hell are you, Gem? Please tell me you’ve hooked up with some guy. I’ve been worried sick. If I don’t hear from you in the next ten minutes I’m going to ask reception to contact the police.’
‘Is everything okay?’ The care in Diego’s deep voice sent her insides swirling, because of course nothing was okay.
‘My friend’s worried.’ She deleted the message. ‘Wants to make sure I’m all right.’
Their eyes met, and she imagined both of them picturing Belle; she couldn’t bring herself to say her name out loud, not when she was lying naked next to Diego.
There was no way she could return her call and speak to her, not like this. It would be hard enough to lie to Belle when she was back at the hotel, impossible while she was still in bed with Diego.
Gem breathed deeply and thumbed a reply as the pounding in her head intensified.
Just listened to your messages, so sorry, I’m fine. Will be back soon xx
Belle replied within seconds.
Oh my God I can’t even begin to tell you how relieved I am! X
Gem desperately wanted to escape but the need to have a shower, to wash away the scent of him before she went back to the hotel, was far more pressing than escaping the awkwardness of the morning after the night before.
She locked herself in the tiny ensuite. The events of the last few hours played over and over as she showered. The best night of her life had been tarnished by the reality of the cold light of day, her mistake still imprinted on the sweat-soaked sheets.
Diego called her a taxi and thoughtfully checked she had enough money before walking her out of the apartment block maze to the entrance. He looked as if he was going to say something but then thought better of it. His dreamy eyes were filled with what she assumed was regret and his forehead was creased with worry. He kissed her on each cheek then wrapped his arms round her. Gem rested her head against his chest and breathed in his intoxicating citrusy sweaty scent. She hugged him tight, not wanting to let him go, a million thoughts fighting with each other. He wasn’t going to see either her or Belle again, but that didn’t help erase her guilt. With a sigh, Gem extracted herself from his arms, but before she could walk away, he grabbed her and pressed a piece of paper into her hand. Without faltering, she shoved open the glass door of the apartment building and stepped into the sunshine.
‘Gem!’ She turned back at Diego’s shout. ‘I had the best time with you.’
Gem opened her mouth to reply, but the door shut closed with a thump, Diego already retreating.
Tears lodged in her throat as she unfolded the piece of paper. All that was written on it was his name, ‘Diego Torres Corchado’, and his number. Gem stared at it so hard the pen marks danced and her eyes blurred. She crumpled it up, went to drop it in a nearby bin but hesitated and stuffed it into the bottom of the bag slung across her chest.
It was early still but the sun was already too bright, reflecting off the white buildings and making her wish she had sunglasses to help ease her hangover. The thought of having to lie to Belle made her nausea intensify; it would be far easier to speak to her over the phone than lie to her face. It was cowardly, but it was all she could cope with.
She breathed deeply and rang her.
Belle’s voice was filled with relief as she answered, and the lie Gem spun about spending the night with someone who worked at Pacha slipped easily from her mouth. She told herself she was simply bending the truth to protect Belle.
The moment Gem entered their hotel room, Belle enveloped her in a tight hug.
Belle’s breath was hot against her neck. ‘I’ve been so worried about you.’
She pulled away and Gem could see her taking in her damp hair and her clothes stale with smoke, drink and sweat. Oh God, clothes that had been pressed up against Diego, then removed by him.
Gem pulled Belle’s phone from her bag and handed it to her, desperately wanting to focus her attention on something other than her. ‘Not being able to contact you is where it all went wrong, otherwise I would have let you know that I wasn’t coming back till the morning.’
‘Well, at least one of us had a good last night,’ Belle said jokingly, her smile blatantly forced. The underlying disappointment was impossible to miss. ‘Mine was memorable, just in a completely different way.’
‘You didn’t, um…?’ Just as she hadn’t been able to say Belle’s name earlier, she found it impossible to say Diego’s name now. Feigning innocence was purely to protect Belle because what good would come of admitting the truth when they’d be heading home in a few hours?
‘See Diego? Nope, had to look after Laurie.’ Belle shrugged. ‘It’s not like I’m ever going to see him again.’
Belle echoed Gem’s earlier thought. Gem’s stomach twisted with nausea, anxiety and worry. She turned her attention to Laurie spreadeagled on the bed, a snore fluttering with every breath. ‘She’s really okay?’
‘She’s going to feel like shit for probably a week and might never drink again, but she’ll survive. We’ll need to wake her in a bit.’ Belle’s face crumpled with disappointment. ‘It’s time to go home.’
Unlike the journey to Ibiza, which had been noisy and boisterous with excitement, when Gem had actually felt sorry for the cabin crew trying to manage pissed-up twenty-somethings alongside a handful of families, the flight home was noticeably subdued. Laurie was squished in the window seat, her head lolling against the side. When they’d finally managed to drag her out of bed earlier that day, she’d been sick again and looked like death. Not that she seemed much better now, clutching a sick bag like it was a comfort blanket. Gem was rapidly wishing she wasn’t trapped in the middle seat between an ill Laurie and a melancholy Belle. At least Belle didn’t seem keen on talking. Gem didn’t think she could cope lying to her any more than she already had. Belle kept looking at a message on her phone. Gem assumed it was from Diego but didn’t dare ask. Not long after she’d returned to their hotel and had given Belle back her phone, Belle had messaged him. If Belle’s mood was anything to go by, his reply had not been what she’d hoped for – if he’d replied at all.
Gem swallowed. Her heart felt as if it was being squeezed. Her stomach churned with anxiety. She still had Diego’s number on the piece of paper he’d given her which was hidden safely away in an inside pocket of her bag. She couldn’t even look at Belle without feeling shame and regret, her friend’s obvious sadness and disappointment written all over her face.
As well as Belle being unusually quiet, Laurie had barely spoken either apart from shortly after take-off when she’d breathed heavily into the sick bag then muttered, ‘I am never snorting anything ever again.’
If Gem had been as ill, she might have considered never touching alcohol again either, but her night with Diego was a far bigger regret than Laurie having drunk too much.
From towards the back of the plane a baby started crying, ear-piercingly loud in the hungover quiet. Laurie groaned and shifted closer to the window. Belle clicked off her messages, shoved in earphones and closed her eyes.
As they flew towards the UK and back to real life, Gem tried to focus on the positives. She had the rest of the summer to enjoy before she’d be escaping overseas again, yet she couldn’t shake off the feeling that a little piece of her heart had been left behind on Ibiza.