45. Marley
FORTY-FIVE
MARLEY
Grey morning light filters through the blinds in Nellie’s guest room. Pip is still asleep at my feet so I don’t move. I want a minute to collect my thoughts. Today’s the day I own up to some very big feelings. Today’s the day that could change absolutely everything. I hope Bennett sees me and smiles that big, beautiful smile. I hope he wants this, us, at least half as much as I do. I have so many hopes, and I’m trying not to entertain the doubts that lay in wait at the corners of my mind.
Eventually, my bladder forces me up. Pip follows me into the bathroom and sits watching me. I’ve never shared a space this intimately with a dog, and I wonder how normal it is. Is it weird that a dog is watching me pee? I mean, to be fair, I’ve watched him pee many times. Pee on the grass, on a carpet, in a van, on a vet… I shake my head because it’s too early for these kinds of discussions with myself.
I pull on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt and pick Pip up to carry him outside. I know he’s capable of walking there, but I don’t trust that he’ll make it from the bedroom all the way to the back door without finding the perfect place to pee inside.
Nellie is already up and sitting at the kitchen island, sipping her coffee and reading with a half-eaten chocolate chip cookie next to her. She looks like an ad for cozy in an old sweater from a university she didn’t go to that has seen one too many laundry cycles, a messy bun high on her head, the tail feathers of a blue jay tattoo just peeking out of her sleeve. If I looked down at her feet, I’m certain she’s got her knee-high slipper socks on too. I offer a good morning as I walk past her and set Pip down in the snow. He looks up at me like he thinks I’ve lost it, but then nature calls and he’s off sniffing. I close the door before he has a chance to change his mind and go pour myself a coffee.
“Whatcha readin’?” I ask, joining her at the island.
“A historical fiction that you’d hate.”
“Why would I hate it?”
“It’s set during the First World War and basically on the battlefield.”
“Ah.” I nod in understanding. I refuse to read books that take place during conflicts. I need to fully escape, so battlefields are an instant no for me.
“How’d you sleep?” she asks, closing the book and pushing her glasses onto her head. I shake my head, knowing she’s going to be swearing soon while she untangles the nose pieces from her hair.
“I slept. No dreams, surprisingly.”
“That’s good.” She looks over at the microwave clock. “I thought we could leave around nine.”
It’s 7:30 now so that gives me plenty of time to get physically ready while I work myself into a state of mental stress. “I have a feeling I’ll be driving back alone tonight.” Nellie grins at me.
“Please keep your expectations in check, friend. I’m already freaking out.” I stand and let Pip in after I hear a high- pitched bark from outside. He comes flying in and slides right into the fridge. “Wet paws, little man.” I laugh and pick him up. He’s freezing but seems happy. “I think he’s going to be just fine here.” I smile up at Nellie, who looks suddenly elated. “In Canada, I mean.”
“Okay.” She holds her hands out. “Give that little terror to me and go shower.”
By nine I’m ready to go. I decline a travel mug of coffee because I don’t want to be the first thing I say to Bennett to be “I really need to pee.” Been there, done that.
Nellie manages to entertain me with stories from work. She’s a librarian at the university in our city, and it’s amazing how the current generation either has it all figured out or needs help with the most basic things. Seniors in the area also use the library for various pet projects, and I love when she has stories of the students and seniors helping one another out.
When we are about ten minutes from Fire Route A, I start to fidget. Nellie reaches over, takes my hand, and squeezes. “It’s going to be amazing, Mar.”
I nod. The best-case scenarios I keep playing in my brain are amazing. But the more I realize how badly I want those to come true, the more powerful the doubts get. Bennett’s had so much time and space away from me.
The minute she turns onto his road, my heart begins a desperate attempt to escape my chest. We follow fresh tire tracks in the snow that lead into Bennett’s driveway. A little hatchback is parked between Bennett’s SUV and a truck I don’t recognize. There are footprints leading to the house and out to the barn, but that’s the only sign of life I see. No dogs in the field.
“You good?” Nellie asks as she parks behind Bennett’s vehicle.
I look around and nod. “Yeah, it’s just real now. Just…give me a minute.” I sit there, staring at the little car. I don’t know why it has captivated me so much. Maybe because the fresh tracks are from the truck. There were none leading to the hatchback. “Okay.” I breathe out slowly and wrap my scarf around my neck before slipping my gloves on. “Wish me luck.”
“You don’t need it, but for your sake, I’ll say it. Good luck, Marley.”
I slip out of the car and follow the footprints that lead to the door. There don’t appear to be any lights on in the house, but I knock anyway, then step back and shove my hands in my coat pockets. When no one comes to the door, I make my way to the barn. I can see that there are lights on in here. When I open the door, I’m hit with the overwhelming stench of fresh cow shit, which is unexpected. I make my way in, stepping around the dog beds spread out all over the place. That’s when I hear murmurs coming from the end of the barn. Just as I’m nearing the end, the murmurs stop and a head pops over the half wall of a stall. I scream and fall back as she does the same. Then I hear footsteps from the floor above and someone coming down the stairs. A man that isn’t Bennett appears over me, followed by the face that had popped over the wall.
“You must be Marley!” the woman says as she reaches down to help me up.
“Um,” I say, feeling slightly disoriented as I swipe my hands down the back of my jeans. “Yes. How do you know?”
“I’m very nosy, and I saw Bennett looking at a picture of the two of you one day on his phone and I was like ‘Soooo, who’s the hottie.’ and even though he said ‘no one,’”—she does an excellent impression of a grumpy Bennett—“I eventually got it out of him. I’m incredibly persistent.” She looks exactly like the kind of person who would be incredibly persistent. A ball of energy contained in a stocky five-foot-six frame. I like her immediately.
“That is one word for it,” the man says, widening his eyes at me. “I’m Teddy,” he says, sticking his hand out for me to shake. Teddy is the woman’s polar opposite. Tall and lean and almost rigid, although his wild brown waves don’t quite fit the formality of the rest of him.
“Marley, but I guess we established that.”
“I’m Cassandra, but call me Cass,” she says, shaking my hand next.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but who are you two?”
“We work here.” Cass smiles proudly at me.
“As in…”
“We work for Bennett.”
“You work for Bennett? Bennett Morgan? The man who owns this place?”
I must look lost. “We help run the day-to-day operations of Morgan Estate Rescue,” Teddy clarifies.
“Since when?” I hope I don’t sound accusatory, but what the hell is happening?
Cass breathes as she makes a show of thinking. “We both started about, what was it, Teddy? A month ago? I don’t know, it’s been a whirlwind. Lots of new dogs came in after the first big snowfall, and it’s been pretty nonstop since. I’ve spent the last three nights sleeping in the office.” That explains the lack of tire tracks.
“Bennett actually hired people?”
“Yep. And we were only going to be part-time, which was fine, but who doesn’t want a full-time job in this economy, right?” She nudges Teddy. “I’m guessing you’re probably here for Bennett, right?”
“Um, yeah.” I nod. “Judging by the lack of dogs around, I assume he’s on a pack walk? ”
“Yeah, he left about thirty minutes ago. I’m sure you could catch them on their way back if you head out there now.” She looks down at my feet. “Although maybe not with those boots. What size are your feet?”
“Nine.”
“Perfect. You can wear mine.” She turns and disappears through a set of doors.
“She’s a lot when you first meet her, but she means well,” Teddy says, quietly watching where she disappeared.
Cass comes back down the corridor, carrying a pair of boots that are far more appropriate for the amount of snow currently on the ground.
“Thanks,” I say while I slip mine off.
“This is the best day,” she says almost giddily. “Bennett was kind of in a weird mood this morning so this should cheer him up.”
“Or I’m about to make things worse.”
“Not a chance in hell.” It seems like something Cass would have said, but this time it’s Teddy. And his vote of confidence actually makes me feel better.
I take off towards the trail, following the tracks of two dozen dogs and a man. There is something kind of great about heading down the trail to find Bennett when it was the trail he found me on. It’s where things began, where I realized things would never be the same. It’s quite literally the path that led me to the most unexpected destination. Physically and mentally.
When I finally see Bennett, he’s standing with his hands on his hips, just watching the dogs run around in front of him. He hasn’t heard me and neither have the dogs, so I take my phone out, pull up his number, the one I’ve never used, and type a simple,
H i
I see him feel his phone buzz and then pull it out of his pocket. A reply comes.
Bennett
Who is this?
Turn around
I can see him tense, and just as I’m about to open my mouth, he turns. We stand there just staring at each other. He looks so damn good standing there all decked out for winter. This man wears the seasons very well. I hope I get to see him in spring and summer too.
“Marley?” I see his lips move, but no sound comes out.
I draw my lower lip between my teeth and nod, and that seems to do it. One minute he’s stuck in place, and the next his strides are eating up the distance between us. The minute I’m within arms’ reach, he’s pulling me to him and I hold on for dear life. When he finally pulls back, he takes my face in his hands and studies me. At this moment, I’m reminded how much I like the way he looks at me. I can feel his tears against my skin, but seeing them causes my own to finally spill over.
I point at his face. “I hope those are happy tears.”
“I didn’t think I’d see you again. I think they’re tears of relief.”
“I’ll take them.” I’m about to kiss him when all the dogs surround us, including a few new ones. Bennett lets me go, and I drop down into the chaos of fur and tails and god-awful breath. That’s when I notice that one of the dogs is slightly awkward-looking and wearing a blanket.
“Bennett?” God, it feels so good to say his name in his presence. “Is that a…cow?” I say, pointing at the calf standing with the dogs as if it belongs there.
“That’s Lloyd,” Bennett says so matter-of-factly that I burst into laughter.
“I’m sorry, did you just call that cow Lloyd?”
Bennett smiles that Bennett smile. “Well, that is his name.”