Chapter 15
Elizabeth stared at her father, her eyes wide in stark surprise, searching for a sign of his usual taunting. She was certain he was sporting with her, as it had happened many times in the past.
After a most wonderful dinner, she had finally fallen asleep very late, since Jane could not be stopped in expressing her happiness, praising Mr Bingley’s qualities, and making plans for the future. Hence, she also awoke later than was her usual wont.
In the morning, Jane dressed herself with the expectation of Mr Bingley’s call before his departure for London, and her voice betrayed the anticipated regrets of not seeing him for an entire week.
After breakfast, when her father asked her to join him in the library, Elizabeth went smilingly, never imagining his topic of discussion. And even after he revealed it, she remained equally disinclined to believe it.
“Papa, what are you saying? If this is one of your jokes, and it must be a joke, although not a good one, I have to say...Mr Darcy would never think to propose to me, this is absurd!”
“It is absurd! And yet, he did — very seriously — for all the reasons that I have already presented to you. Indeed, if he has not changed his mind overnight, he should arrive at any time.”
“But…this cannot be! How is it possible? We have not known each other for long, and we have not had more than three conversations in the entirety of our acquaintance. We barely managed to be civil to each other until a week ago!”
“Well, he declared he has admired you for a long time—”
“Yes, he told me as much…but I never imagined he meant this kind of admiration! Dear Lord!”
“I confess I am torn, my dear. On one side, I have come to appreciate him, despite our initial mutual opinion that he was an unfriendly and even uncivil type of man. In truth, I see no flaws in his character or demeanour — I mean, in essentials. I know you despised him to begin with—”
“Papa, let us not mention that ridiculous incident at the assembly,” Elizabeth said irritably, her mind greatly perturbed. “And please stop joking — this is a matter of great significance.”
“It is, Lizzy. And I am not joking at all, my child. You are facing a decision that might affect your entire life from this day forward,” Mr Bennet said, taking a few steps towards the window. And not only yours, he thought.
“My dear child, let me put this matter to you as boldly and clearly as possible. Some offensive rumours arose and are running around, unfair but ill-timed and dangerous to your reputation. They might affect your name and lessen your chances of finding a good husband — chances that were already slim. Mr Darcy — a man of impressive fortune, excellent connections, apparently good character, civil if somewhat stern manners, sound education, and a handsome enough countenance as far as I can say — has offered to marry you and thusly protect your reputation, express his gratitude, and alleviate his guilt. This is a faithful narrative of the present situation, and you should take a little while to reflect on it before he comes to discuss it with you in person.”
Mr Bennet’s voice was grave and serious as Elizabeth only rarely — if ever — had heard it before.
“Of course, I shall think on it…but this is such strange news and so sudden. Why would he do that? He has nothing to gain from such a proposal.”
“I told him as much yesterday. I cannot agree with his decision, nor fully understand it, but most people would grab such an opportunity in the blink of an eye.”
“What would you have me do, Papa? I am well aware that such a decision will affect our entire family. It is not only my future that I am considering.”
“What I would have you do, Lizzy? Whatever your mind and your heart advise you. It is your life which will be the most affected, and in almost equal measure it is Mr Darcy’s life and Miss Darcy’s.
I want you to think about your own happiness, and theirs if you believe it will depend on your answer, and I shall support you either way.
But, Lizzy, regardless of what your answer is, I expect you to treat Mr Darcy with the respect he deserves. ”
“Very well, Papa. I shall go to my room now. Please send for me when I am needed.”
With that, she embraced her father and he held her close, then kissed her forehead, gently pushing her towards the door. Moments later, she was gone, while Mr Bennet stared at the closed door for a long while.
Elizabeth hurried to her chamber as hastily as her weak knees allowed her.
As stunned as she was, she felt grateful and in no small measure relieved that she had been warned by her father, having some time to prepare before the encounter with Darcy.
She could not imagine what her reaction would have been had she been confronted with such a stupendous notion without warning.
A proposal! And from Mr Darcy! As for her choices — indeed there were not many and they were not very complicated.
Her mind and her heart spoke to her in a single voice, but she could barely comprehend it since her head was spinning and she felt so dizzy she had to stretch out on her bed.
Tired, exhausted by emotions she had never felt before, she remained like this until the sound of joyful voices from downstairs startled her, making her heart race wildly.
The gentlemen had arrived! She slowly stood, arranged her hair in the mirror with trembling fingers, then walked to the library, where she knew she had to face the greatest challenge of her life.
***
Darcy stood by the window, feeling Mr Bennet’s scrutinising eyes on him. He refused the offer of a drink; he felt light-headed and unsteady on his feet already.
Agitation and disquiet soon threatened his usual composure, and he unconsciously played with his ring. He had nothing else to do but wait.
When he heard the door finally open, he turned to look at it, holding his breath.
Elizabeth entered, moving hesitantly. Mr Bennet invited her in, and for a moment she locked eyes with him before lowering hers. “Miss Bennet…” he bowed deeply in greeting to her.
“Mr Darcy…” she whispered, returning a curtsey.
She sat while he remained standing, the tension and mutual mortification too strong for words.
“Lizzy, I have already spoken to both you and Mr Darcy, and I have nothing else to say on this matter. I feel my presence will only make the situation more awkward. Would you mind if I withdrew from the room for a short while?” Mr Bennet asked.
She seemed surprised, glanced at Darcy again, then looked back at her father.
“I would not mind, Papa. I believe you are correct, it would be better.”
“Very well then. I shall return in half an hour.”
With a serious look to Darcy, Mr Bennet exited, leaving his daughter and the gentleman alone, both caught in a storm of emotions that neither of them had felt before.
“Miss Bennet, allow me—”
“Mr Darcy, I—”
“Please continue, sir.”
“I can imagine how surprised you are by my approach… I understand your father already explained to you…I found it appropriate to discuss it with him first because it was not a usual marriage proposal, and I would not dare address you privately without his consent. I apologise if you felt offended that I took such a liberty without…” his voice trailed off unsteadily and he stopped talking altogether.
“You did not offend me, sir. Quite the opposite. I believe it was a wise choice, Mr Darcy. The best, considering the circumstances and the particulars of our acquaintance, as it allowed me time to understand and to reflect on your extraordinary proposal.”
She held her hands in her lap, clasped tightly together to stop the trembling of her fingers.
Since he was still standing, she had to look up at him. Mindful of her comfort, he took a chair and sat a short distance away from her.
“Would you like to ask me anything in particular, Miss Bennet? I feel I have so many things to tell you, and yet I do not know how or where to start.”
“I have many questions, Mr Darcy. And many concerns. And I shall start by thanking you for your consideration and care in regard to my wellbeing. I am grateful and touched.”
“There is no need for thanks. I have done nothing but what I felt to be right.”
“This is even more to your credit, sir. You take too much blame upon yourself. You claim responsibility for unhappy and fortuitous events nobody could foresee! And you reject my gratitude, but you expect me to accept yours, although I have also done nothing but what I felt to be right.”
He attempted a smile but said nothing, waiting for her to continue.
“Mr Darcy, please help me understand — why would you be willing to enter into a marriage with me just to silence some ridiculous gossip that will soon vanish?”
“What if it does not vanish? It is as offensive as it is unfair and could become more harmful. What if it grows instead and injures your character, your reputation, and your good name?”
“Forgive me, sir, but why is any of this your concern? And to such a degree as to drastically alter your life?”
“Because I have caused this damage. It was because of me. You confessed for my benefit, to save my reputation, risking your own! The remedy should also be mine.”
Elizabeth breathed deeply, her spirits slowly rising.
“I am sorry to say but that is an arrogant presumption, Mr Darcy. I have stated many times that I did everything of my own volition. If my actions happened to help you, that was a fortunate addition. But you are not responsible for me, and you owe me nothing. Let us agree on this before we continue our conversation.”
“Very well…” he reluctantly admitted.
“Good. Now we are agreed upon this matter, you should realise there is no real reason for this marriage proposal. Mr Darcy, if indeed I have saved you from an unfair accusation of murder, how could I sentence you to a desolate life, trapped in a marriage neither of us wants? To save my reputation. With the price of both your and my unhappiness.”