Chapter 11 Kai
Kai
“Wooo!” I yell, standing up and clapping with everyone else that came out to watch Amari graduate from second grade.
I turn and look over at Blakely, who is wiping tears from her eyes as if this is the first graduation we’ve been to for Amari.
There are many more to come and probably many more tears from her.
I never realized how many graduation kids get.
I thought they only did high school and college.
But since Amari has been in school, her teachers have always done a small graduation for each year she finishes.
B catches me smirking at her and shoves my shoulder lightly.
My smirk turns into a quiet laugh as I watch her wipe her tears.
I catch Liam out of the corner of my eye, looking over at us as we laugh with one another.
The moment I look up at him, he turns away from us and continues clapping.
I whisper into her ear, “Are you going to cry at every graduation she has? We have a lot of graduations to go.”
“Shut up, Kai.” She bumps my shoulder. “I can’t believe how fast she’s grown,” she says, watching Amari take a seat next to her best friend, Emma.
“Our daughter has grown up so fast. It feels like just yesterday we were sending her off to her first day of preschool.”
We take our seats as B giggles and says, “And what a disaster that was.”
I never knew it was such a big deal for moms to send their kids off to their first day of school—until B called me in tears the night before Amari’s first day.
I was drifting off to sleep when I noticed B calling. "Hello,” I say, my voice groggy.
"Kai,” B says shakily.
I spring up from my bed, heart racing. “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” She sniffles between her words, making it hard to understand her. I swing my legs out of my bed and head for my closet. “I can’t understand you. Is Amari okay? Are you okay?”
“Yes.” She whimpers.
I slide my jeans on as fast as I can with my phone between my head and shoulder. “Then why are you crying?”
“Because it’s Amari’s first day of school tomorrow.”
I halt my steps as I pull my shirt over my head. I’m stumped on what to say next. It’s only school. Why is she so sad? “Does Amari not want to go?”
She sniffles. “She’s excited to go.”
My brows crease even more, confused by her sadness. “Okay. I still don’t understand why you’re crying.” I sit back down on my bed after getting my shoes on, wondering what my next move should be. Is this something I should be sad about? I thought this was a good thing.
“It’s just.” She pauses and sniffles again. “It’s always been the two of us. What if the other kids are mean to her at school, or what if her teacher is mean?”
“But we met her teacher, and you said you liked her.”
“I do, but that could be all a front for the parents.”
“Do you want me to come over? We can talk about this. I’ll help you calm down.”
“No. You work in the morning. I just needed someone to talk to before I went into a full-blown panic attack.”
I decided against telling her I’m coming, since women usually want the man to show up without being asked. Right? “Talk to me. What else is on your mind?” I ask to distract her from hearing me driving.
“She’s growing up so fast. I’m going to miss her.”
“Do you miss her when you go to work?”
“Of course. I cried like this on my first day away from her when I had to go to work and school.”
Luckily, she didn’t hear me start my truck when she was talking. I’m trying to get to her fast but also driving slowly so she doesn’t hear the engine. “I didn’t know you cried.”
"Well, you weren’t in the right state of mind around that time for me to call you and tell you.”
She’s right. I was still drinking my life away.
I’m glad I’m able to control it now and that I’m in the right state of mind to be there for her.
It’s the little things I once overlooked, the ones I thought didn’t matter, that I now see hold the most meaning—something I only came to realize after getting sober.
It makes me happy that she feels like she can call me and tell me how she feels, even if we aren’t together.
I’ve always told myself I will always be there for my family, regardless of what happens.
It’s what I told myself when we first found out she was pregnant.
I know I fucked up a lot, even though I thought I was being there for them by providing for them.
I now know there is a lot more that goes into being there for your family than just providing.
I slowly park my car, turn the ignition off, and get out of my truck.
“What was that?” she asks after I shut the door.
“I’m at your front door.”
“What?!” I hear shuffling. “I told you not to come.”
“I came anyway.”
"Kai, I look like shit.”
“I don’t care how you look. You’re always beautiful to me.”
“Ugh. Hold on.” She hangs the phone up.
A few minutes later, she swings the front door open, looking at me with wide eyes. I’m captured by her puffy red stare. She must have been crying way before she called me.
I take in her white, silky tank top nightgown that hangs low, draping over her curves and revealing the top of her breasts.
The fabric catches the moonlight and her flawless skin, making my heart race and my breath catch in my throat.
An intense ache for her builds, a longing that is always impossible to ignore.
She catches me staring at her and pulls her robe over her. I take a couple of steps until I’m right up against her and wrap my arms around her. She drapes her arms around my midsection, pressing her head into my chest, deepening our embrace.
She lifts her head, grabs my hand, and leads me upstairs to her childhood room that she still sleeps in. Our daughter is sleeping in the room next to her. She quietly shuts the door and turns to me. “Are you staying the night?”
“Do you want me to?” Please say yes.
She shrugs her shoulders. “If you want.”
It didn’t take me long to figure out what that means. “I’ll stay.”
She climbs into her bed, and I take off my shoes, pushing them aside.
I take my shirt off and catch her gazing at my chest, her cheeks flush when she catches me staring.
She quickly looks away, biting her bottom lip.
I keep my pants on, so she doesn’t think I came over for one thing.
I slide into bed with her, and our shoulders brush together. “You need a bigger bed.”
“For what? It’s only me.”
“For times like this.”
She huffs. “I didn’t think this would happen.”
“I’ll always be by your side to wipe your tears.
” This brings back old memories. Memories that I can’t ever erase—and I don’t want to.
I’ve always missed sleeping next to her and waking up together.
I loved it when we first moved in together.
Life seemed so simple back then. Little did we know how hard it was going to get.
She smiles and rests her head down on her pillow, facing the ceiling.
“What time do you have to drop Amari off at school?” I ask.
“Eight. What time do you have to go to work?”
“After I drop Amari off with you.”
She shuffles her body to the side, staring back at me. “How are you going to do that?”
“I’ll tell the guys to come in later.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. That’s the beauty of having your own company. I make the rules.”
“But I know the contractors have you on a schedule sometimes.”
“It’ll be fine. My family comes first.”
She nestles her head deeper into her pillow with a smile. “Thanks for coming, Kai.”
I stare at her until sleep takes over.
I didn’t think about what would happen in the morning after I slept over.
“I feel like your mom is going to get mad at us—like I snuck into your house or something.”
B chuckles. “Oh, my God, Kai. We’re adults now. We’ll be fine.” She finishes getting ready. “Head downstairs while I get Amari ready, that way she thinks you came over this morning.”
“Okay.” That’s a good idea. Maybe Brooke will think the same thing.
I slide on my shoes and tiptoe down the stairs, hoping I don’t step on a spot that creaks.
I let out a sigh the moment my foot hits the last step.
As I’m rounding the corner to walk into the kitchen, Brooke is right in front of me with her mouth agape and brows raised.
I clear my throat. “Good morning.” She turns around, and I follow her into the kitchen. My heart races as I wait for her to yell at me—like I’m a kid about to get in trouble.
“Coffee?” she asks.
“Yes. Thanks.” I anxiously take a seat, waiting to see if she says anything. Luckily, B steps into the kitchen before her mom can question me. “Where’s Amari?”
“Brushing her teeth. She was already dressed for school when I went in to wake her.” B looks over at her mom. “Good morning, Mom.”
“Good morning.”
She walks over and pours herself a cup of coffee as Brooke hands me mine.
“So, is anyone going to tell me what’s going on before Amari gets down here?” Brooke asks, staring between the two of us.
B looks over at her mom. “I was sad last night about Amari going to school, Kai came over to talk to me, and we fell asleep.”
Brooke looks between the two of us again, like there’s more to the story, but she says nothing.
A half an hour later, we’re pulling up to Amari’s school. All three of us get out, I grab one of Amari’s hands, B grabs the other, and we walk her to her classroom.
Once we get to her classroom door, B bends down and pulls Amari into a hug. She’s trying so hard to keep it together for our daughter. “Remember, that little notebook has all of our numbers in it. If you need anything, you call us, okay?”
"Okay,” she says.
I pull Amari into a hug. “Have a great day, little one. Be careful. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dad.” Amari turns away from us and walks into her classroom with her pink and purple butterfly backpack.
I glance over at B, and her tears are starting. I intertwine my hand with hers, and she rests her head on my shoulder as we walk out.