Chapter 12 Kai
Kai
“Dad, where’s Mom?” Amari asks.
“I’m not sure,” I say, scanning the backyard for her. I notice the sway of the trees from the breeze. Pink and purple balloons fly above the chairs, moving with the wind. “Why?”
“I want to see if Emma can sleep over,” she says, hands on her hips.
Rising from my seat, I say, “I’ll go look for her.” I head inside the house, and I overhear Liam say, “Please call me if you need a ride home.” I catch the cocktail that B has in her hand.
“I’ll find a ride, don’t worry,” she says, placing her hand on his arm for reassurance.
I clear my throat, stepping closer to them. “Is everything okay?”
They both turn toward my direction. “Yes,” Blakely says. “I’m a little tipsy, and Mr. Doctor is worried.”
“I can drive you home.”
Liam looks over at me with a questionable look.
“I haven’t had anything to drink. I wouldn’t put my girls in danger,” I say, and I notice how Liam’s jaw tenses a little—probably from me saying my girls.
“See. I’ll be fine,” B says and kisses Liam on the lips.
Now my jaw is tense.
Liam lets out a sigh. “I gotta go. Call me if you need anything.”
“I will.” We watch as Liam walks out of the door.
Brooke threw a celebration for Amari. Like she does every year. It's always a barbeque with the same groups of people that are the closest in Amari life. We’ve all been hanging out here having a good time.
“Where is he going?” I ask her as she pivots toward me.
“He’s on call tonight. He got called into an emergency at the hospital.”
Oh, nice, an entire night free of Liam.
“Did you need something?” she asks, brows raised.
“Amari was looking for you. She wants to know if Emma can sleep over. Maybe I should stay the night with you guys since you’ve been drinking.
” Emma’s parents went home a couple of hours ago.
They have younger kids they needed to get to bed.
The girls were having a good time, and we told them we would drive Emma home.
She rolls her eyes. “You guys act like I’m shitfaced. This is only my second drink, and Amari asked me earlier if she could sleep here.”
I follow her out the back door, unable to take my eyes off her.
The way her hips sway with each step she takes makes it harder for me to pry my eyes away.
I thought my attraction to her would fade since we haven’t been together for so long.
But with each passing year, her beauty intensifies, drawing me in even more.
Every time I look at her, my desire for her deepens.
If anything, my feelings haven’t gone away; they’ve only intensified, watching her grow into the woman she is today.
“Could you stare any harder?” I hear behind me.
I look over my shoulder at Paige, who is staring between me and Blakely while B talks with Amari. I clear my throat. “Give me a minute. I’m sure I can stare harder.” I dramatically squint my eyes, directing them at Blakely.
Paige chuckles. “You look like a creep.”
“She’s my daughter’s mother,” I say knitting my brows together.
Paige cocks her head. “That doesn’t give you the right to stare at her like that.”
"Mmm, I think it does.”
Paige bumps shoulders with me. “You’re an idiot.”
“Takes one to know one.” I bump her shoulder back.
Paige huffs and shoves me harder with her shoulder.
We both start chuckling. Paige has only liked me when B has liked me.
Which is understandable since they’re best friends.
Every time B was upset with me, Paige was upset.
Now that we’ve been in a good position, Paige has liked me more consistently.
It’s like that with everyone, actually. Even Kevin.
That one used to hurt me a lot. When B and I used to argue, he tended to choose her side.
Since he’s my brother, I felt he needed to be on my side more, but he always said he wasn’t actually choosing sides—he was choosing what’s right.
Thank God that part of our lives is over, and Blakely and I don’t argue like that anymore.
Around ten o’clock, I get Amari and Emma down for bed in Amari’s old room that Brooke has kept for her. B and Paige have been having a good time, so I didn’t bother asking B what her plans are. Amari and Emma were getting tired, so I asked Brooke if they could sleep here.
I notice B sitting at the table, shivering. Her arms are crossed like she’s trying to keep her core warm. It’s the end of May. The warmer months are ahead of us, but at night, it still gets a little chilly. I pull my sweater off and hand it to her. “Here.”
She looks up with a wide grin on her face, laughing at whatever she was just talking to Paige and Kevin about.
"Aww, my little bro. You’re her knight in shining armor.”
I sit down next to B and laugh at Kevin’s comment. I can’t help but feel the déjà vu of us four sitting around the table laughing and having a good time. It brings back all the old times we used to have. “Are all three of you drunk?” I ask.
"Yes,” Kevin says, leaning backward in his chair. “It’s your turn to take care of us.”
I ignore his comment, knowing exactly what he means. Even though it’s been four years since I’ve been black-out drunk. I’ll have a couple of drinks sometimes, but I control it now.
“What are you guys whispering about?” B asks, staring at Kevin and Paige.
I glance over at the two of them sitting across from us. They’re hunched over, their hands covering their mouths. Then, they howl in laughter.
“Paige, when are you going to give it up to Kevin? You know he’s been waiting for years,” I say.
B giggles. We’ve always wondered if they would ever do something together. They have this love-hate relationship and are always giving each other shit, like maybe they like each other—deep down, that is.
“Ew! Never!” Paige says with her face crinkled up.
Kevin's shoulders slump, and the corners of his mouth tug downward.
"Why, ew?” B asks.
“Because it’s Kevin,” Paige says, avoiding eye contact with him as he stares at her.
“What’s wrong with me?” he asks.
“It’s not like that between us,” she says, looking at him with something that resembles sympathy.
Kevin sings the lyrics to “I Can Tell” by 504 Boyz.
“Shut up.” Paige slaps Kevin’s arm, effectively stopping him from singing.
“We had no business singing that song back in the day,” B says.
I glance over at her. “What are you talking about? You used to always sing that song.”
"Yeah, and look where it got me. Sixteen and pregnant.” She giggles.
"No, you two weren’t smart enough to use a condom,” Kevin says, laughing and slapping his leg.
In between our laughs, Paige says, “Remember how sick you would get at school?”
"Ugh.” Her nose scrunches up. “Don’t remind me. Those days were the worst.”
Once all of our laughter dies down, Paige says, “Look how far you two have come.”
B and I gaze at each other with easy smiles.
"Yeah, I never thought I’d see the day,” Kevin says.
“We have come a long way,” B agrees, resting her head on my shoulder.
Warmth spreads through me, knowing we’ve been through hell and back, yet she still finds comfort in me.
All of us quiet down. A yawn erupts from my lips, reminding me I have to take all three of them home now. “Should we get going?” I ask.
B lifts her head from my shoulder. “Yeah.”
“Amari and Emma are sleeping in Amari’s old room. I let your mom know that I’ll be driving you home.” I stand up, glancing down at her.
She nods as she stands up.
I grab a hold of B as she wobbles, trying to walk back into the house. “How much did you drink?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “I was having a good time.”
All four of us live relatively close, so it doesn’t take me long to drop Kevin and Paige off. I purposely dropped them off first so I could be alone with Blakely.
As I drive through her neighborhood, the streetlights glow in the night sky. B starts laughing.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, looking over at her as she tries to hold her laughter in.
“Do you know what this reminds me of?”
I shake my head. “No. What?”
“All those times we would sneak out together.”
Flashbacks of those nights invade my thoughts.
All the times I would drop her off and couldn’t let her go because I wanted to spend every second with her.
All the sleepless nights and going to school and work exhausted were worth it if I got to spend it with her.
We were so crazy in love and did anything to be together.
Now, as I drive her home, my heart aches because I know I’m dropping her off to go to bed with someone else.
It makes me sick knowing she is lying next to someone else. It should be me.
Blakely sighs.
“What?”
She shakes her head.
“Come on, tell me.” I glance over at her in the passenger seat, her expression illuminated by the soft glow of the streetlights.
“I miss sneaking out,” she mumbles.
That’s not exactly what I was expecting to hear. Although it makes me a little happy to hear it, because maybe... she misses me.
“What do you miss about it?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “The thrill of doing something bad and not getting caught. Even though I got caught a few times.” She laughs.
“I don’t know. It’s just…life was so simple back then.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Amari with all my heart, and I don’t regret my life now.
But do you ever just miss the simple times?
” We both turn our heads and stare at each other.
“Are you talking about before we had Amari?” I ask, slowing the car down before coming to a complete stop at the stop sign.
She nods. “The only thing I worried about was the next time I was going to see you. Back then, it was such a huge worry, but now when I think about it, it’s such a simple worry that didn’t make life so hard.
Now we worry about work, kids, bills, and blah, blah, blah.
” I put my foot on the pedal and continue driving down the street.
How long has she felt this way? Or is she just drunk? Drunk people are usually more honest…
I pull up to his house. I hate saying this is B’s house. Because one day our house will be her house.
I jump out of the car, hurry around to the passenger side, and wrap my arm around her as she slides out of my truck.
She wobbles her way up her porch steps and takes a seat on a bench she has out on the porch.
“Come sit with me.” She pats the seat next to her.
She rests her head against my shoulder the moment I take a seat next to her.
“We really have come a long way.” She pauses. “You have come a long way.”
“We both have.”
"Yeah, we have. For a while there, I was worried about you, but look at you now. You built a whole ass company from the ground up all by yourself. Something you’ve wanted since I met you.”
“Where is this coming from?” I know she’s been proud of me from the small comments I’ve made, but she’s never said it like this.
“I’m proud of you, Kai. I know I don’t tell you enough, so I’m telling you now.”
“Is this drunk you talking?”
“Well, drunk me has the courage to tell you how I feel.”
I lift my arm and wrap it around her shoulder. She snuggles more into my chest. Is she not worried about Liam coming home and seeing us like this? She must not be. Neither am I.
“Why can’t you talk to me when you’re not drunk?” I ask.
“I don’t want you to get the wrong impression.” Her words slur.
“Wrong impression of what?” I press, trying to understand what she’s saying.
“That I like you,” she whispers.
“You like me?” I ask, confused.
“No. That’s not what I mean,” she quickly blurts.
“Then what do you mean?”
“Like you, like you. I don’t want you to think I want to get back together with you.”
My chest constricts with those words. I swallow the lump in my throat. “So, you would never give us another chance?” I ask, trying to hold it together.
"Oh, I would have. I didn’t think you wanted to anymore since you haven’t tried in a while, and I didn’t want it to come off as if I wanted to if you didn’t.”
My head spins, trying to put together what she’s saying.
Every word she has said is pulling me in different directions.
I want to ask more questions, but I can hear the slur in her words.
She’s had a lot to drink. I’d prefer this conversation to happen when she’s sober.
Part of me wonders if what she’s saying is how she truly feels.
Is the alcohol causing her to be honest with me after all this time?
They say alcohol makes the truth come out, but all I feel is confusion.
“Let’s get you inside,” I say, helping her up.
She struggles to grab the keys out of her purse, so I ask, “Do you want me to get them?”
She nods.
I pull the keys out and unlock her door. We take a couple of steps inside, and she says, “Leave me on the couch.”
“I can take you to your room.”
"No, no, the couch is fine.”
I feel bad leaving her on the couch, but I’m also a little relieved I don’t have to see the fucking bed she shares with someone else.
Carefully, I guide her over to the couch.
As I’m laying her down, I lose my balance and stumble.
I catch myself just before I fall onto her.
Our faces are so close that our lips are inches apart.
The warmth of her breath mingles perfectly with mine.
Her eyes meet mine in a questionable gaze of lust. She reaches up and runs her palm against my cheek.
I tilt my head into her palm, feeling the warmth of her hand.
I’m desperately longing to feel her lips against mine again.
I’m caught between confusion and my unyielding need for her.
The confusion stops me. I need more clarity from the conversation we had outside, and I would also want her to remember our kiss.
I don’t know what she will remember from tonight.
So, instead of pressing further, I kiss her on the forehead. She falls asleep almost instantly.
“Goodnight,” I whisper, seeing the necklace that rests against her clavicle. She’s wearing it.
I wonder if she noticed the two little letters I had engraved on it…