Chapter 19 Kai
Kai
My heart is shattered, and saying it’s broken into a million pieces is an understatement.
The pain is gut-wrenching, beyond any words I can explain.
If it weren’t for my daughter, I would have run out of that party quicker than it took for Liam to get down on one fucking knee and ask the woman I love to marry him.
I kept it together for my daughter. I kept my composure and left the party like everyone else, even though I was screaming inside.
I’ll admit, the moment I got home after that night, my screams, and all the anger and hurt came pouring out.
The hole in my wall is proof of that. My fist went through it the second I closed the door behind me.
It’s just one more thing I have to deal with now, on top of trying to get Blakely not to marry this man.
But if there’s one thing I can handle, it’s fixing things.
Good thing I’m a manly man. I can patch up that hole myself without needing to call in someone else to do it.
It’ll be like everything else in my life—another mess I’ll clean up, another scar that’ll heal over time.
No amount of drywall is going to fix the emptiness inside me.
Nothing will fix it. Not until my family is back together.
Mark: Hey man, when is a good time to schedule a walk-through with you to approve the electrical, plumbing, and HVAC before we do installation and dry wall?
"Fuck,” I say. Another reminder that Blakely is with someone else.
“Is everything okay?” Sam says, glancing over at me.
“Yup.” I walk away, back to my work truck.
I guess I said that a little too loud. Sam is one of my best employees, and he’s been taking most of the heat with my bad attitude since the damn engagement that happened this past Saturday.
And it’s only Wednesday. I need to cool it before I lose him, too.
I better give him a raise.
"Hey, bro,” Kevin says as he sits down on my couch next to me.
Why does he pay rent at his place when he’s here half the time?
Some days, he even falls asleep on my couch.
My, how the tables have turned, because I remember when it was me living with him in his apartment.
But he made me pay rent. At least I let him stay here for free.
“Hey.” I groan.
“So, how have you been since everything?”
“What do you mean?” I know exactly what he means. And I know I need to open up more. I just don’t want to right now. It’s been a week since the engagement, and I haven’t seen or spoken to B since that night. Kevin had to pick up Amari for me tonight since I was running late at work.
“You know, since the engagement?”
I sigh. “Like shit.” I’ve been replaying everything in my head repeatedly, wondering how the hell I let things get to this point.
I’m a man of few words, and I’ve always been one to bottle up my feelings, thinking it will be better that way.
But now the silence has cost me. I practically pushed her right into his arms. All those times I didn’t share how I was feeling while giving her time.
Giving me time.
Giving us time.
While thinking that was the right thing to do, I handed her right over to him. Maybe if I’d opened my damn mouth and told her how I felt once I had a clear head, things would have ended up different.
“Yeah, I can tell. You put a pretty nice hole in the wall, I see.” We both glance over at the wall next to the front door. "So? What are you going to do about it?” he asks.
I glance over at him. “What do you mean?”
“Stop sitting here and go win her back. Shit.” He huffs, shaking his head.
“Where is this coming from? The last time we talked about this you said not to ruin it for Blakely.” This is the first time I’ve heard him say anything like that. Even though I’ve cleaned up my act, no one has ever told me to win her back.
“I know what I said, but I have always thought you guys deserve a second chance. You two were so young and dumb when you first got together.”
“Why are you just now saying this?” I glance over at him, widening my eyes in disbelief.
“We’ve all thought it. I’m just the one that is finally saying it.”
“What? Who thought it?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He pauses. “Liam isn’t home this weekend. Some surgeon conference or whatever the hell.”
I sit upright. “How do you know?”
“B told me when I picked up Amari.”
I grab my iPhone, and the time reads 11:00 p.m.
Shit.
She might be asleep.
She said she missed sneaking out. I could reenact our sneaking out days to bring back the memory of us. Amari’s already sound asleep. Good thing Kevin is here to watch her, so I don’t waste more time. “Watch Amari.” I get up from the couch and head straight for the door.
Enough with the what-ifs. I know what I need to do now, and it’s long overdue.
I need to tell Blakely how I really feel.
No more holding back—no more second-guessing myself.
She needs to know where I stand and what’s been going on in my head all this time.
Because the truth is, she can’t make a choice unless she knows what’s on the table.
I don’t know how she’ll react. Hell, I don’t even know if it’ll change anything.
But I can’t keep living with this weight on my shoulders, wondering what could’ve been if I’d just spoken up.
It’s up to her after that. Whether she stays with him or gives us another shot, at least I’ll know I laid it all out.
That I tried. And if she chooses him, at least I’ll know I didn’t go without ever telling her how I truly feel.