Chapter 28
Kai
It’s our last night here, and I wanted to cook a dinner for everyone. Well, I’d prefer it to be just my family, meaning Blakely and Amari. But I couldn’t be a jackass and not invite everyone, plus, not inviting Liam wouldn’t go well with B.
"Dad, am I doing this right?” Amari asks over her shoulder.
I look over at the bowl of mashed potatoes I asked her to mash.
“Smash them a little more until all the chunks are gone.” Amari wanted to help when I asked everyone to go to their rooms to get ready for dinner.
I’ve been wanting to cook this recipe for a while, I’ve just never had the opportunity.
I thought tonight would be a good night.
It’s braised beef short ribs with a red wine sauce and garlic butter, mashed potatoes, and broccolini.
“That looks good,” I tell Amari before grabbing the bowl.
“Can you set the table while I put these in a fancier bowl to be served?” She nods her heads and grabs the utensils out of the drawer.
“Use these napkins.” I hand her a bag of white napkins with some kind of swirly design around them.
These should help make the dinner look more presentable, as opposed to using plain old paper towels.
As Amari prepares the table with the utensils, I set all the food out in the middle of the table.
"Mmmm, it smells good,” Amari says as she inhales the aroma of everything in front of us.
I set the last plate down and look at the table with all the food we made.
“We did a good job,” I say, wrapping my arm around her.
This is more impressive than the fucking hot dogs that Liam brought out that everyone was so in awe of.
I can hear their voices replaying in my head, How sweet of you, Liam!
Oh, my gosh, Liam! Over fucking hot dogs?
I shake my head. “Do you want to go get everyone and tell them dinner is ready?”
Amari nods with a wide grin and runs down the hall, yelling, “The food is ready!”
I head back to the kitchen and open a couple bottles of wine and sparkling apple cider for Amari.
Kevin rounds the corner, dramatically sniffing. “Damn, it smells good.” He looks over the island at the table, turns back around, and slaps me on the shoulder. “You must be trying to get laid.”
Both Kevin and I turn our heads to someone, clearing their voice. Liam stands there, staring between us, and Blakely’s eyes are wide with surprise. I throw Kevin's hand off my shoulder. “He’s fucking around.”
“Yeah. I am. Plus, there is no one here that he can sleep with. Or would sleep with,” Kevin says with his mouth twisted, holding in his laughter.
I hand Kevin the bottles of wine. "Here, take these to the table.” He grabs them and quickly leaves.
I glance over at B and Liam. They’re talking about something under their breaths.
I didn’t want to start anything tonight.
It’s our last night. I truly wanted everyone to have a good dinner.
Or did I? I sigh to myself. Before I head to the table, I notice Liam let go of Blakely's hand and walks over to the table by himself.
Blakely watches him walk away, her shoulders slumped.
That comment obviously caused some tension between them.
Fucking Kevin.
Everyone trickles in, amazed at the food we prepared.
The same comments Liam got when he brought out the stupid hot dogs are what I’m getting.
I keep my thoughts to myself. I’m proud of myself.
A few years ago, I was eating out of boxes and bags, and now I can cook a whole damn meal. That’s something to be proud of.
"So, Amari, are you excited to go back to school?” Bryn asks.
I can’t believe how big she’s getting. I remember the day we brought her home from the hospital and how in love we were with her.
How in love Blakely and I were. I’m still madly in love with her.
I know she feels the same way. Or at least I’m hoping she does.
It’s crazy how things have changed over the years.
There is one thing I have always been grateful for.
Blakely never taking Amari away from me, and for her to still keep a good relationship with me.
Even when I didn’t deserve it. That’s why I know she deserves more than anyone can ever offer her, and I want to be the one who at least tries to give her everything she deserves.
"Yeah,” Amari says.
“Do you have any boyfriends?” Paige asks, moving her eyebrows up and down.
Amari smiles slightly, shying away from the questions. I narrow my gaze as I stare at Amari's reaction to that question. I look over at Blakely, and she has a tight smile on her face, as if she didn’t want me to find this out.
"Amari,” I say, and she looks up at me. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
She stays quiet, eyeing her mother, trying to hold in her smile. I glance between B and Amari, wondering what the hell is going on. I know it’s an innocent little boyfriend-girlfriend deal, but why didn’t Blakely tell me about this? We tell each other everything when it comes to Amari.
“He’s just a friend,” B says.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this friend?
” I ask in a calm voice, trying not to ruin the mood, even though knowing my little girl has a so-called boyfriend is ruining said mood for me.
She’s not allowed to date yet. Not even close.
Hell, she’s not even supposed to have boys that are friends, not at this age.
I was a boy once. I know what goes through their minds.
Nothing of that sort went through my mind that young, but still, the longer I can keep her away from boys, the better.
Liam glances over at me. “He really is just a friend.”
My mouth drops at the words that came out of this mouth so casually.
What the fuck?
Why does he know about this, and I don’t? My stomach twists, and the calm I was trying to maintain slips away, replaced by a wave of disbelief and frustration. Liam, of all people, knows my daughter has a boy in her life, and somehow, I’m left in the dark?
I try to keep my cool, but it’s difficult. “Wait. How do you know about this, and I don’t?”
Liam sits up a little taller. “He came over a couple of times to play.”
To play.
To play what?
What the fuck?
I toss my napkin onto the table with more force than I intended and stand up abruptly. Everyone's attention is drawn to my unexpected movement. “Blakely, can I talk to you?” The room falls into an awkward silence. The clinking of utensils, and the sound of chewing stops.
"Kai, it’s not that serious,” B says, still sitting down, glaring at me, confused at my reaction. How can she be confused? This is my daughter.
I clench my jaw. “It’s serious to me.”
Blakely sets her napkin down as she stands up and walks toward the front door.
I’m confused, at first, about why she chooses outside, but I’m assuming so no one hears us.
I guess that’s a good idea. Or she doesn’t want Liam to see us interacting.
But he always sees us interacting. I haven’t been upset like this in a while.
Blakely and I have built such good communication that we usually never argue.
I shut the front door behind me. Blakely whips around and eyes me. "Kai, what is the big deal about Amari having a friend over?” she snaps.
“It’s the fact that you never told me about it, and the friend is a boy.”
She crosses her arms. “Because I knew the reaction I would get,” she shoots back.
I can feel my jaw clench as I run a hand through my hair, trying to process what she’s saying.
“I’m only reacting like this because you didn’t tell me.
” My voice tightens. “It’s not only about the fact that it’s a boy.
It’s that you kept it from me. You should’ve told me.
I deserve to know what’s going on in Amari’s life. ”
She lets out a frustrated sigh, her arms still crossed in frustration.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to deal with this exact reaction.
I know how overprotective you are,” she says.
“Kai. He's a friend. A boy who happens to be her classmate. She wanted to hang out with him after school, and I said yes. It’s not like the two of them went on a date. And me and Liam were home the whole time.”
The word date hits me like a punch in the gut. “And if she continues hanging out with boys, that’s where it’s going to head next. A date.”
Blakely raises her hand to her mouth, covering up her laugh.
“This is not funny,” I say firmly. She still continues to laugh, but it’s coming out as a snort since she’s trying to hold it in. “Why are you laughing?”
She wipes the tears forming at the corners of her eyes, still chuckling. “Kai, I’m sorry,” she says, her voice shaking still from laughter. “You do realize she is going to date one day, right?”
Why does she keep saying the word date? Now it’s making the word churn in my stomach. “Amari can’t date until she’s eighteen.”
Blakely howls in laughter, still covering up her mouth as if that is going to stop me from hearing how loud she is laughing.
“You can’t honestly think she’s going to wait until she is eighteen, do you?
” She pauses for a moment, eyeing me for an answer.
But no answer comes because I know damn well it’s not realistic.
It makes me sick thinking of her dating someone who doesn’t treat her right.
I know there are pricks out there. I was one of them.
That’s why I changed. I knew I had to be better, not only for myself but for my daughter, too.
Her expression shifts, and for a moment, I see something flicker in her eyes, as if she’s understanding my feelings.
"Look, the best thing we can do for Amari when she gets to that stage is to let her feel like she has open communication from both of us. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t come to us.
Look what happened to us! Our family dynamic wasn’t that open, and we ended up pregnant. ”
“Do you regret it?”
She shakes her head. “No. That’s not what I’m saying.
I’ll never regret it. It’s what brought Amari to us.
But look at all the shit we did when we were younger.
We shouldn’t have been doing that. Imagine her doing that.
I wish my mom had talked to me more about this kind of stuff so I felt like I could come to her.
Regardless of whether we want Amari to do something, she’s going to do it anyway.
We did. It’s better she knows she can come to us, so something bad doesn’t end up happening. ”
I’m standing here, trying to take in everything Blakely is saying.
Deep down, I know she’s right. But that doesn’t make it any easier.
It’s like this constant war between wanting to protect Amari from everything and realizing that I can’t shield her from life.
I can’t keep her in a bubble forever, no matter how much I want to.
The thought hits me hard. She’s going to have to make her own mistakes and learn her own lessons—like Blakely and I did.
“I get it,” I finally say, my voice low, just above a whisper.
“I know you’re right. She’s growing up, and I can’t stop that.
” I look down, feeling the weight of it all settle on my shoulders.
“But that doesn’t make it any easier. It’s hard, Blakely.
It’s hard knowing she’s going to have to learn from her mistakes.
Knowing that I won’t always be able to protect her. ”
Blakely watches me for a moment. “I know it’s hard, Kai,” she says gently, stepping closer. “But that’s part of being a parent. We can’t keep them from the world. We can only prepare them for it. And Amari? She’s smart. She’s going to be okay.”
I nod, but it still doesn’t erase my thoughts of all the assholes out there. The thought of her getting hurt overwhelms me.
Blakely’s hand reaches for mine, her touch is warm. A touch I miss so much. A touch I wish I could always have within reach. “I’m sorry for not telling you. I won’t keep anything like that from you again.”
I squeeze her hand, my chest tightening. “Thank you.” I pull Blakely in for a hug. To my surprise, she wraps her arms around my midsection and rests her head against my chest.
Her touch.
Her scent.
Her body stiffening against mine sends me spiraling into a haze of longing that I’ve kept buried for too long.
The warmth of her skin, her familiar scent—it pulls me back to all the nights I spent wanting her.
I feel her react, and I know she can sense it, too.
The tension, the desire that’s been simmering since the day she walked out.
It’s been there, waiting, building. Now, with her so close, all I can think about is how much I’ve craved this.
How much I’ve missed her, and the undeniable pull that’s drawing me even closer, making it harder for me to let go.
She lets me go, looks up at me, and bites her bottom lip. God. She knows what that does to me, and she continues to do it.
“I’ll see you inside,” she says.
I turn and watch as she leaves me out here so she can go be in the arms of someone else.