Chapter 29
Blakely
There’s been tension between Liam and I ever since the last night of our vacation.
Is it because of the stupid comment Kevin made?
Or the reaction Kai had when he found out Amari had a boy over and I didn’t tell him?
Either way, I’m not sure how Liam can be mad at me.
I’m not the one who made that comment, and I can’t help that my daughter's father got upset that I didn’t tell him about her friend.
I can’t control what people say or feel.
But somehow, I still feel guilty. The guilt I've been feeling for a while now is just amplifying.
The way that Kai and I hugged. The way he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him, allowing me to rest my head on his chest. I could practically hear his heart pounding.
His warmth. His scent that made me feel like home.
Why do I keep feeling these heightened emotions for him now?
Why does it have to happen now that I’m engaged?
I need to keep the promise I made to myself and start planning my wedding.
A small knock startles me out of my thoughts.
Liam is standing in our bedroom doorway in his gray slacks and a white collared shirt.
He must’ve had patients to see today, as opposed to surgeries.
He had left earlier than usual this morning, so I never got to see him.
We usually always have a small breakfast together and go over our daily plans.
When he had left this morning without a word, I knew he was more upset than I thought.
“Hey,” I mumble, barely glancing at him.
“What are you doing?” He comes and sits next to the clothes I have laid out on our bed.
“Unpacking.” We got home late last night. We had planned on leaving early in the morning, but no one wanted to leave. We all went out to the ocean and enjoyed one last swim. The whole vacation was perfect, but now everything feels so off.
He’s quiet for a moment, and I can feel his eyes on me, watching me fold the clothes. “Can we talk?” he finally asks, his voice soft, his hand reaching out to touch my arm.
I pause, my hands stiffening over the folded shirt from his expression. I’ve never seen that serious of a face on him. “Sure,” I say, as a knot forms in my stomach. “Is this about what Kevin said?”
His eyes flicker with something. He exhales slowly, shaking his head. “It’s about everything.”
The words hang between us, thickening the air. The room feels like it’s spinning around us. “Everything?” I repeat, trying to keep my voice steady. “What do you mean by everything?”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, okay?” he says, his voice rising. “Something feels off.”
I stare at him, feeling my guilt bubble up. “Like what?” I ask, trying to keep my tone calm.
He sighs, his hand falling into his lap. “I don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to ruin anything.”
“Tell me.”
His eyes flash, and I can tell this has been on his mind for a while. “I think—I think there needs to be more boundaries between you and Kai.”
I cross my arms, leaning back slightly. “Kevin was joking. You know that. He meant nothing by it, and I would never—”
“It’s not only about what he said,” he cuts me off, more agitated now. “It’s about everything.”
“Everything like what?”
“Everything. Like how close you and Kai are. How everything we do has to involve him.”
Shaking my head in disbelief. “You knew how my family dynamic was when we first got together, and I told you nothing was going to change that.”
“I know,” he says quickly. “But I never fully realized how damn close you two were.”
I bite my lip. Anger and hurt swirl inside me.
I want to lash out, to say something sharp, but deep down, I know he’s not wrong.
Things with Kai have been shifting. Even though Liam hasn’t seen how close the two of us have gotten, I'm sure he feels it some way or another. “I’ve always been clear with you,” I say, feeling the weight of those words.
But pretending everything is fine isn’t going to help.
He looks at me, his eyes searching mine for a better answer or a different one.
“I know you have, and I accepted that. But the way you two are is something more than close because you have a daughter together,” he says softly.
“Tell me I’m wrong, Blakely. Please, because I can’t keep overthinking everything and what Kevin said just makes everything I’ve already been feeling that much worse. ”
I nod, not knowing how to respond. “I promise you, nothing is going on. I haven’t slept with Kai since we were together, and that was eight years ago.
Why would I now? Especially while engaged to you,” I say.
“I’ve never been one to cheat, and I won’t start now.
” Even I eat my own words. Am I emotionally cheating?
I’ve always heard of that being another way to cheat, but never knew exactly what it entailed.
Having I been doing that all along and never realized it?
“There needs to be boundaries between the two of you,” he says, with steady words, like he’s been replaying those words repeatedly.
I shake my head. “Like what?”
He sighs. "Like, why do you two always have to spend every little celebration together? Every single holiday?”
I stare at him. My heart racing even faster than moments ago, not understanding where celebrations and holidays play into this. “I don’t understand. Kai is Amari's father. Why wouldn’t he be there for holidays and celebrations?”
“I’m not saying he shouldn’t spend holidays or celebrations with Amari.
But why do you two always have to do them together?
Why can’t she split her day between the two of you like normal divorced couples?
” he says, frustrated. “Maybe not to you, but to me, it feels like you’re still emotionally attached to him.
And that hurts. It makes me feel like I’m second to him, like I’m competing with your guy’s history.
” His glares at me. “It’s not fair to me. ”
I didn’t realize how much my connection with Kai was affecting him.
I’m not sure if I’ve been emotionally cheating, but I can’t deny that something’s been pulling me toward Kai lately.
Whether it’s nostalgia, unresolved feelings, or just the comfort of familiarity, that pull is creating a distance between me and the man I’m supposed to be building a future with.
Is it me? Is the relationship I wanted with my daughter's father not a realistic relationship? Liam isn’t the only man that has had a problem with it.
Everyone else I’ve dated did too. I thought everyone else was immature and didn’t know how co-parenting works.
I never thought this conversation would come up with Liam.
He has always been so sure about everything.
I never thought this bothered him—I never thought it would bother him.
Maybe it is me?
I take a deep breath, the guilt heavy in my chest. “I didn’t mean for you to feel that way.”
He looks at me for a long moment. “Then we need to figure this out,” he says sternly. “Because I can’t be in a relationship where I feel like I’m competing with someone else. I need to know that I’m enough for you.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as his words sink in.
I know he’s right, and I know I have to make a choice.
Either set clear boundaries with Kai and focus on the relationship I’m in, or risk losing the man who’s always stood right beside me.
But as I sit here, I can’t help but wonder if I can truly set boundaries with Kai.