Chapter 35 Blakely
Blakely
Paige: Hey! Want to get coffee before work?
I’ve had a slow morning. I never take those for granted. When school starts back up, it’s always a rush to get Amari up, fed, and out the door to school. I’m thankful I can work part-time, giving me more time to be a mom.
I had asked Amari if she wanted to sleep at her dad's house last night because there was still so much tension in the house; I didn’t want her to feel it or see it.
Kai and Amari both agreed, even though they didn’t know what truly was going on.
This will only add more to the list I know Kai is keeping in his head.
Me: Sure.
I slip into a beige blouse and match it with black slacks and leopard mules.
Since I had some extra time, I went all out with my makeup, even adding a pair of lashes to help my eyes pop.
A spritz of my favorite long-lasting perfume, Alien by Mugler, envelops me.
It’s been ages since I’ve felt this good and put together.
Maybe that recent release had something to do with it.
The air is chilly in the morning, bringing a crisp to the air and hints of the weather changing. “I Do” by Cardi B plays through the speakers from my Spotify list.
I pull up to my favorite coffee shop, Café Brewz. It’s nestled among trees that provide a sense of seclusion. The café feels like a hidden gem. As I step inside, the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee envelops me—intensifying my craving for an espresso.
“Blakely.” I turn to the sound of my voice and see Paige sitting in the cafe's corner in her black scrubs. Dr. Peterson doesn’t mind what we wear to work as long as it’s business casual or scrubs. Scrubs don’t appeal to me, so I never wear them.
“Hey,” I say as I take a seat across from her.
“I already got you a latte and a chocolate croissant.”
I grab the mug and take a sip, feeling the flavor of nutty chocolate stream down my throat. “Thank you.”
“I miss you, B. We haven’t spent much time together.”
Her words hang in the air, and I can see the questions in her eyes. I nod. “I know. With everything going on, I’ve been so busy.”
She fidgets with her croissant, her gaze focused on it, as if she knows there is more to my story.
I haven’t told Paige about what’s been happening, or how I’ve been feeling lately, because I’m still trying to sort through the emotions.
It’s not like me to keep things from her; we’ve always shared everything with each other.
But this time, I find myself at a loss for words.
The thought of keeping it all from her feels weird.
I’m not ready to face my reality and say it out loud, making it feel even realer.
“How has everything been going? You’ve seemed distant lately.”
I can’t help but put on a fake smile. “Can we not get into this right now? I was having a great day, and I would like to keep it like that. When I’m ready, I’ll talk to you about everything. I promise.”
Her eyes narrow toward me as she nods and takes a sip of her coffee.
“Have you been on any dates recently?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood. Hearing her dating stories lightens the mood for me. I know they don’t for her—based on all the shit guys do. They’re usually funny as hell, though.
She rolls her eyes and lets her head hang low before letting out a sigh. “I need to give up on finding someone.” She shakes her head. “You won’t even believe what the last guy I went on a date with asked me…”
I chuckle. “What?” This should be good, judging by the look on her face.
“If I do anal.” Her shoulders slump over like she’s truly given up hope.
My face drops. “What?! On the first date?”
“Yes! Do I give out vibes that I’m looking for a hookup?” She raises her eyebrows. “I mean, come on, at least wait until the second date to ask that.”
“Would it have made a difference if he asked on the second date?”
“Probably not. But still. Who thinks to ask that on the first date?”
I picked up a Domino’s pizza on my way home from work.
I've felt surprisingly good today, despite the ongoing tension with Liam. Amari decided to stay another night at her dad’s.
It left me with some unexpected free time.
So, I plan to watch one of my favorite movies, Practical Magic, and pour myself a glass of red wine.
It’s not the perfect pairing for this kind of pizza, but I wanted to unwind with a nightcap.
I hadn’t heard from Liam, and honestly, I’m not sure if I care.
The stress from his issues with Kai had been weighing heavy on me.
Before settling in to watch the movie, I changed into my pajamas, slipping off my bra and feeling the release. The release I always feel when I take my bra off makes me feel like I can breathe ten times easier.
Halfway through the movie, Liam walks in. The sun is setting earlier now, making it seem later than it is. He comes around and sits next to me. I’m curled up in the corner of the couch under a blanket.
“Why are you eating alone? Where is Amari?” he asks, glancing between me and the movie playing on the TV.
“She’s at her dad’s,” I say, trying to keep my tone casual so it doesn’t seem like I’m mad and an argument starts. Even though I can feel the tension creeping back into the room.
“I didn’t know today was his day,” he says, confusion flickering across his face.
“It’s not, but I didn’t want her around all the tension here.”
He drops his gaze, staring at his hands. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice soft. “I feel you slipping away.”
“How?” I say, honestly wanting to know.
He looks up at me. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I just feel it. I feel so distant from you.” He scoots a little further onto the couch. “I thought we would be in the middle of planning our wedding and have a set date by now. It seems as if you’re avoiding it all.”
I shift in my seat, feeling a tight knot in my stomach.
“Let’s set a date, then,” I say before even thinking.
How can I set a date when deep down I don’t know what I want?
It’s obvious Liam feels it. Maybe not exactly what I feel, but he feels something if he’s worrying about the wedding and my relationship with Kai.
His expression brightens a little. “Okay. You said before that you wanted to get married in the summer. What month were you thinking?”
“I was thinking June.” I’ve always wanted a June wedding. It’s not too hot or too cold. It’s right in the middle, where the weather is changing from spring to summer, and all the flowers are blooming.
Liam’s body melts into the couch, as if his tension has been released. Is this why he’s been so concerned with Kai? Because we hadn’t set a date? Because his issues came out of nowhere.
“June sounds good,” he says, pulling out his phone. “We could do June fifteenth. It’s on a Saturday, and it’s in the middle of the month.”
I glance over at him with a slight smile. “June fifteenth, it is.”
He scoots closer to me and rests his head against my shoulder.
I lean my head slightly on top of his head.
This is the first time in a few weeks I haven’t felt so tense around him.
I’ve always wanted to get married, and I promised myself I would move forward with the wedding when we were on vacation, knowing it was giving me a sense of calm.
But then, every time he’s away or I’m around Kai, I overthink about what the right choice is?
Maybe Liam is right. I’m too close to Kai.