Chapter 41 Blakely
Blakely
“I bet the hotel staff thinks we’re lesbians,” I say, taking in our hotel room with a jacuzzi tub right in the middle. It’s next to two gigantic windows with trees flowing in the wind outside, making this room very private.
“Two hot lesbians,” Paige says with laughter. She sprawls out onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
She won a weekend getaway that was hosted on Instagram from a hotel that just opened in the mountains.
It’s called the Mountain View Hotel. It’s advertised as a hotel for couples to spend a romantic getaway.
She had six months to use it, and she thought by now she would have a boyfriend to go with, but that hasn’t happened.
She asked me at the last minute since her voucher expires after this weekend.
I’m very thankful for the distraction, honestly.
I needed to get away and clear my head. I’m hurting everyone in my life right now, and I can’t seem to think straight in order to know what to do.
When Paige asked me to come, I packed my bag in a hurry.
I need my bestie right now, and she’s getting irritated with me since I haven’t been letting her in lately.
My body tenses from a loud popping noise. I turn around and see Paige opening up a champagne bottle. “It’s Friday night. We’re getting drunk,” she says, eyeing me with mischief all over her face.
I shake my head at her and take a seat on the bed, moving up and down slightly, feeling the comfort of the mattress.
People here are really going to think we’re together.
I don’t remember the last time Paige and I did something like this.
We used to have sleepovers together all the time.
But it ended after she stayed with me and Amari a couple of times when Amari was a baby and still woke up at night.
She was a teenager who did not like her sleep interrupted.
What teenager does? My actions gave me no choice.
She hands me a glass flute. “Cheers!” she says as we clink our glasses together.
“What are we cheering about?”
“My lonely life,” she says with a wince.
"Oh, shut up. You have plenty of people that love you,” I say as we both take sips of our champagne.
“Yeah, but no one is in love with me.” She slumps down on the bed, making my body bounce from her weight.
“You’re still so young, Paige. Why the rush?”
“Do you realize you found your person at sixteen? It’s a little defeating I still have no one.”
My person?
She says it as if we’re still together. As if we’ve been together this whole time. Did she reference him because he was my first? I can’t tell, because my person slipped off her tongue so naturally, like I belong to him, like nothing has changed since we were teenagers.
She gets off the bed, sets her glass down, and turns on the water to the jacuzzi. “Let’s get in,” she says while throwing her shirt off.
I immediately feel the tension melt away as soon as we get in. The warm water loosens my muscles, easing the stress I’ve been holding onto. All my thoughts have been a whirlwind lately. There are decisions I need to make that have been racing through my mind for the past few months.
“Paige,” I say over the bubbles of the jacuzzi.
“Mhm,” she says while enjoying the chocolate-covered fruit we ordered after our dinner.
“What would you say if I gave Kai another chance?” My heart races, awaiting her answer and desperate to know what she thinks.
It’s been a while since I brought up being with Kai again.
What will she think? What will anyone think?
It’s no one’s business but ours, but I still wonder what people’s thoughts are since we are still so close.
Her eyes shoot up wide with her mouth wide open. “I would say it’s about damn time!” she exclaims, a little too loud. Not knowing if she’s raising her voice so I hear her over the bubbles or if she’s this excited.
My brows furrow and my lips part slightly, confused by her reaction. “What!”
“What?” She shrugs her shoulders. “You guys deserve to give it another shot.”
“Where is this coming from?” I’m honestly confused. I obviously wanted her thoughts on it, but I didn’t expect this reaction.
“You two were so young when you had a baby. It’s hard enough to keep a relationship thriving when you’re an adult.
I couldn’t imagine doing it as a teenager.
You guys had a lot going on. On top of that, Kai's dad passing away didn’t help the situation.
” She lets out a breath as if she’s been holding that in for some time now.
“You two were so cute together. You still are.”
“I never knew you thought this way,” I say, taking a sip of my champagne.
“I’m not the only one,” she whispers.
“What! Who else thinks this?” Have I been too blind to see what everyone else sees?
Her eyes flick downward, avoiding me. “Uh…Mostly everyone.”
“What the hell? Why has no one said anything to me?”
“We’ve given you hints here and there, but you didn’t seem to catch on.
Plus, he’s always been there for you. I see the love he has for you.
We all do.” She clears her throat. “I was only going to say something if you brought it up. Either way, I’m on your side with whatever you choose.
Or who you choose, I should say,” she says with a wide grin on her face.
I tilt my head and narrow my gaze at her, still confused at what she is saying.
Kai has always loved me, and I have always loved him.
But it never went beyond the love we have for each other because of the love we have for our daughter—or so I thought.
Until now, when he confessed everything.
But now, listening to Paige makes me wonder how long he’s felt this way before he confessed his feelings for me if he’s been trying all this time, and I’ve been too blind to see it.
“What do you mean by he’s always been there for me?
He has always been there for me when it has to do with Amari. ”
She shakes her head. “Seriously, B?” she asks, brows raised. “He has always been there for you. Even when it had nothing to do with Amari. Every time you were down, he was right there to comfort you. Even those times when those stupid boys would break your heart, he was always there.”
“Because he was being nice.”
“Being nice…No, Blakely,” she says, shaking her head. “What ex does that for someone they aren’t still in love with?”
All the memories rush back, swarming my mind.
He has always been there for me when I needed comfort.
Every time I thought my world was falling apart, he was there, pulling me out of my thoughts.
He’s always been the one person who has always made me feel safe.
Every time I broke down, he was there. I realize now just how blind I’ve been.
I feel bad for what Liam has had to witness in our relationship. His concerns with the two of us make sense now. If everyone else sees it, and now he does too…
“What about Liam?” I ask.
“What about him?” she asks, filling up our champagne flutes.
“This is going to break his heart. He wanted to be a family. I always wanted a family, too, that’s what drew me to him.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, B. But wasn’t the family you’ve always wanted with Kai? Do you think you were looking for what you wanted with someone else in order to fill that void?”
I pause for a moment, digesting Paige’s words.
Have I been searching for what I want when it’s been in front of me this whole time?
Was I trying to fill a void? The thought of that hits me, forcing me to question what I’ve been doing these past few years.
I have always felt some kind of emptiness in my life.
Was I desperately trying to fill a void without even realizing it when the truth has been staring at me this whole time?
I take a deep breath, really letting it all out.
For the first time in what feels like months, I finally have a clear mind.
I know what my decision is, and I can’t believe it’s taken me this long.