Chapter Twenty-Five #2
“Cary, there was a moment in my life when I thought I’d never again know what it is to be loved by you.
I call it my Dark Age. I don’t like to think about it too much because I just want to go back in time and comfort past-Thea.
I want to tell her it’s temporary; you’ll be back, and it’ll be better than ever.
I want to tell her you and I will both grow—separately, but for each other.
That the years we spend apart—the pain—it’ll be worth it.
It’s just our winter, and spring will come.
“Well, our spring is here, baby, and I fall more in love with you each day. Thank you for helping me carry my burdens and loving me through my insecurities. I can’t wait to do forever with you.”
There are more words from the officiant, and rings are placed on fingers, but I’m not paying much attention.
I caught a glimpse of Seth just behind Cary, and I can’t look away.
His eyes are shining with tears as he looks on at the couple.
If I had any worries about his lingering feelings for Cary, they’re gone now.
This is not the look of a man who’s jealous or devastated by witnessing the love of his life marry someone else, it’s the look of someone watching his best friend have their happiest moment and cheering them on.
Our eyes catch and hold over our friends’ shoulders as they kiss. Warmth swirls in my chest almost to the point of an ache.
I’m so in love with him. I want our spring.
Am I getting swept up in the moment? Maybe a little.
Am I still sure of my feelings for the tiny tyrant who won’t release me from this stare off? 100%.
Margot nudges me to get me moving, following Cary and Thea down the aisle and into RED for the reception.
Seth steps in next to me, and for the briefest of moments as we go inside, he wraps his pinky with mine before letting go to congratulate the happy couple.
He smiles and hugs them both, while I’m left breathless and staring after him.
The last two hours flew by in a blur of photography and delicious food. We took about a million photos in every conceivable position and arrangement of people before Thea and the photographer were satisfied. The food Cary arranged was to die for, as usual.
Now it’s time for speeches. Seth goes first, and I wish I could say I’m listening, but it would make me a liar. A heady mix of bourbon and champagne flows through me, my veins alive with the bubbles and alcohol.
I get caught up on the way his lips move and how his Adam’s apple bobs when he laughs at his own lame jokes.
His eyes sparkle as he reminisces on the early days of his friendship with Cary and opening Carina Cove together, and then they shine bright with tears when he talks about his hopes for the couple’s future. I’m absolutely enthralled.
I could have stayed there forever, lost in him, but now it’s my turn. I stand and grab the mic, focusing entirely on my best friend, who sits next to her new husband.
“Thea, babe, hi. You having a good time?” She chuckles and nods.
“Good. You deserve it. You deserve a beautiful night like this and so much more.” I pause, taking a breath, I can’t devolve into tears again.
“As ridiculous as it sounds, you made me believe in soulmates—and yes, I’m referring to you and me.
Sorry, Cary, you’re just the husband.” Quiet laughter weaves its way through the space.
“You came into my life at a time when I really needed a friend, but God or the universe or whatever must have been looking out for me that day because instead of a friend, I found a sister.” I haven’t taken my eyes off of Thea.
“You gave me the family I always dreamed of by pulling me into your orbit. You’re like the sun, you pull people in with your warmth and your light, and your gravity keeps us tethered.
I mean, look at Cary, he went 3,000 miles away and was still pulled back.
” My gaze flicks to Cary, who’s holding Thea’s hand and looking at her like nothing else exists.
“You’ve shown me what it is to love another person unconditionally, with no strings or expectations or judgment.
I’m so grateful for you, and I’m so happy you and Cary found your way back to each other because watching you love each other feels like being in the presence of something…
other. Something more than what you can see, touch, or hear.
It’s beautiful and something I strive for.
” I can’t help but find Seth sitting next to Cary, but I can’t hold his stare, it feels like too much.
I can only handle so much raw, emotional vulnerability for one night, or I might implode.
“So, just know, you may be tying yourself legally to Cary, but you’ve still got me.
I still plan to steal you away for dancing at Louie’s and late-night mixology testing at the distillery.
I love you both and wish you a lifetime of happiness together, and I plan to be there to witness every bit of it. ”
Thea stands and rounds the table, tears streaming down her cheeks, but the smile on her face exudes nothing but joy and love. She wraps her arms around me and squeezes tight. I rest my head on the top of hers after planting a kiss to her crown.
“I love you,” she murmurs into my shirt.
“I love you too. Ready to get back to dancing?”
The drinks keep flowing, and soon the guests are loose and mostly everyone is on the dance floor. I lost my suit jacket a while ago, and my tie’s unknotted, hanging limply around my neck. Everything sparkles in the dim, warm lighting, the atmosphere dreamy.
I’m surrounded by all of my favorite people as I dance with the bride, Margot and Brooks moving together next to us.
Cary’s at the bar, taking a breather with Seth, who had the audacity to roll up his shirt sleeves and let everyone ogle his forearms. I have half a mind to grab him and drag him to a dark corner to have my way with him.
It’s getting harder and harder not to touch him with each drink I put back.
The song finishes, and Cary steals his wife back, giving me the opportunity to sit down and rehydrate.
I’m at the table for only a minute when Lydia appears beside me, Billy gently pushing her chair to a stop just to the left of me.
“Be right back,” he says to her, his hand on her shoulder, before shooting me a quick nod. She smiles fondly at all the drunken dancing, Cary twirling Thea in the center of the mess of bodies.
I track Billy beelining to the bar. “What’s uh… what’s going on there?” I motion toward Billy with my chin.
Lydia smirks. “You weed your own garden before you come sniffing around my flowers.”
My eyebrows shoot up, and I’m a million times more interested now. “You dirty bird! Do you have a boyfriend? Oh, Thea’s going to freak out.”
I love Lydia. When I got close to Thea, I got close to Lydia as well, and she’s taken on the role of a mother figure for me—okay, maybe more like an aunt—providing advice when I need it, and withholding all judgment when I’m dumb and don’t take it.
Having raised Thea by herself, she’s strong, independent, and hasn’t let the progression of her multiple sclerosis keep her from living her life.
Being a single mom left her with little time to do much else other than work and raise Thea, so if she’s finally found herself a man, this is front page news.
Right then, Seth appears as if out of my wildest sex dreams, party-rumpled and flushed.
His tie’s gone, the top couple of buttons on his shirt are undone, his collarbone peeking out.
Goddamn, I want to lick it, nibble on it, suck on it just a little.
He doesn’t say anything, just places a fresh tumbler of RED in front of me and saunters off back into the crowd.
When I bring my attention back to Lydia, she’s smiling wide, one eyebrow raised. “What’s going on there, huh?”
My face reddens, my ears grow hot. “You… sniff your own… weeds. Or whatever you said before.” She cackles at my flustered butchering of whatever idiom she spouted to me. “I gotta go.”
I’m up and making my way across the restaurant, Lydia’s laughter ringing behind me. My mind is firmly on the way Seth’s ass looked in those dress pants as he walked away. I need to get my hands on him.
I find him at the bar alone, his phone halfway out of his pocket. With a cursory glance around, I don’t think anyone’s paying us any mind, so I grab his arm and drag him around the corner and into Thea’s office.
We’re on each other before the door clicks shut.
We don’t have much time—Thea and Cary will be cutting the cake any minute now.
Our bodies line up perfectly, hips pressed together, his torso on mine.
Seth’s fingers find their way into my hair and tug.
I moan into the sting while I devour his mouth with mine, my hands sliding from his hips to his back, pulling him even closer.
Seth draws his face back, my head held between his palms. “You taste so fucking good, pretty boy. I’ve wanted my hands on you all damn day.”
I whimper. Words won’t come, I’m all need and want. Just like him, I’ve been envisioning getting him naked in a million different ways.
We close the distance between our mouths again, his tongue licking into me, swallowing whatever other pathetic sounds I make.
I’m not sure how long we make out before my hands find his belt and his find the buttons on my shirt, our mouths fused the whole time. His phone buzzes from his pants’ pocket, stopping and starting again, but he ignores it.
My lust-drunk—and slightly drunk-drunk—focus is dialed in on getting his fly open, and that’s probably why I don’t hear the door as it swings open behind me.
“Quinn Ripley?!” a slightly slurred and way too loud female voice screeches. “Since when do you kiss boys?”
I twist around, my shirt open down to my belly button. Tiffany stands halfway in the door with some guy behind her holding on to her hips. I guess we weren’t the only ones with the bright idea of finding a closed door for a mid-party tryst.
They must be cutting the cake because there’s a break in the music.
It’s unlikely half the party didn’t hear her.
Grayce and Shelley stand just behind Tiffany, probably on the way to the bathroom.
They definitely heard if their astonished, deer-in-the-headlights expressions are anything to go off of.
“Fuck, Tiffany, get out!” I yell. She moves pretty quickly for someone so tipsy.
The door closes, and Seth and I are enveloped in silence, or maybe the sound of my racing heart is blocking everything else out. We stare at the door without moving for so long, I’m starting to feel like I’m drowning.
I swallow, pushing the ball of anxiety in my throat down, and find my voice. “It’s okay, I—I doubt anyone heard her.” My gaze meets Seth’s, and he looks unconvinced.
He tears his eyes away and says, “Let’s just… let’s just get back out there.” His hands are already working on his fly and belt. I take a minute to fix my shirt and run my fingers through my hair.
When we step out of the office, it feels like stepping into my worst nightmare.
All eyes fall on us, too-loud whispers are exchanged, hidden behind slices of cake and champagne flutes.
Thea and Cary glance around, searching for the cause of the distraction, until they see us.
I guess we look like two people who got caught making out. Their expressions morph into concern.
I’m overheating and freezing at the same time. My face is burning up, and my hands are cold and clammy as I rub them together in front of me. I turn to Seth, and his face is grim and void of color.
The buzzing in his pocket stops and starts up again. He slides his phone out and puts it to his ear.
“Hello?” I hear him say before I turn back to the party, trying to find a way to salvage this.
My mind races, but the only thing pulling my attention is the echo of Seth’s hands in my hair and the press of his lips against mine.
Fuck, I’m too drunk for this. We need to get out of here.
I turn back to him to ask if we should leave, figure things out in the morning, but there’s nothing but empty air next to me and the doors to the distillery swinging shut behind me.