Chapter 6
CHAPTER
SIX
ANGEL
My phone vibrates in my pocket, sending my pulse skyrocketing. Is it him? Did he message me back? Leaving the lawn mower idling, I pull out my phone.
Rhys
Great! *winky face emoji* Having brunch with the boys.
I recognize the photo. It’s the same one he posted on social media earlier today. The one where his long, purple hair falls in waves around his shoulders, and his eyes smolder as he peers into the camera through his lashes.
Rhys
What are you up to today? *grinning emoji*
Trying not to think about you and failing miserably . It’s what I’ve been trying to do for the last week, but no matter how hard I try to forget about our conversation, I can’t. It replays in my mind whenever I have a moment of quiet.
There’s a whole subset of gay porn called gay for pay. Is that something you’d be interested in? I know someone you can talk to.
And then the videos. Oh heavens above, the videos. I’ve never jerked off so much in my life, not even when I was a horny teenager with raging hormones. After that first night, I’ve been going back to that website, looking for more videos of Rhys.
Then I found him on social media and created new accounts just so I could follow him. His social media photos are a lot tamer than that website, but somehow more intriguing. They’re a glimpse into his life—how he spends his days, the people he surrounds himself with, the places he likes to be. It feels like a world away from here, even though he’s only a thirty-minute drive away.
I push my sunglasses to the top of my head, then hold my phone out. I’m nowhere near as good at taking selfies as Rhys is, but the one I snap doesn’t look terrible.
Angel
Doing yard work.
Instead of standing there, staring at the screen while waiting for Rhys to respond, I make a point of stuffing my phone into my pocket again. I’ve got a lawn to mow and a garden to weed. If I stay busy with yard work, then I won’t be obsessing over why I messaged Rhys today.
Because I’ve got absolutely no clue. Why today? Why not yesterday? Why not tomorrow? Why did I message him at all? We’re not friends. He didn’t say anything about wanting to be friends. He only gave me his number in case I wanted to ask more about the whole gay-for-pay thing.
Which I don’t.
Right?
Dang it. I don’t.
My phone vibrates again. I should ignore it. I can check it later, when I’m done with mowing the lawn. Maybe I’ll leave it inside so it doesn’t distract me.
Crap.
I stop the lawn mower and pull my phone out again.
Rhys
*eyes emoji* *fire emoji* *sweating emoji*
I stare at the message. Is that— Does he— Is he asking me if it’s hot outside?
Angel
It’s not too hot. There’s a nice breeze.
Three dots immediately appear at the bottom of the screen. Then disappear. Then reappear again.
Rhys
*teary-eyed smiling emoji* *halo emoji* Make sure you stay hydrated. *winky face emoji*
A smile blossoms on my face as warmth spreads through my chest. Rhys is such a thoughtful person.
Angel
I will. Thanks!
The smile stays with me through mowing the rest of the lawn and weeding the garden. Even after I’ve showered and had Sunday dinner with Mama and Sabrina and Jonah, my lips keep wanting to curl upward. It’s only once I’m ready for bed and settled under the sheets that the heat travels a little lower in my body.
I pull up that website again. The Camboy Network. I squint at the pictures of the guys on the page. They’re the same guys that Rhys was at brunch with today. So when he says “the boys”, he means the guys he films porn with?
My dick fills so fast my head spins a little.
So Rhys is friends with the people he works with. He hangs out with them even when they’re not working. What’s the big deal? Unless it was some kind of business meeting? Were they talking about the videos they want to make in the future? Did Rhys mention my questions about a straight guy doing gay porn?
“Ow,” I mutter, as I press the heel of my hand against my dick. It’s so hard it hurts. Jeez, am I getting turned on by the idea of a business meeting? What the heck is wrong with me?
Except, it’s not the business meeting, is it? It’s the prospect of Rhys telling his gay-porn friends about me. About how interested I was that day when he explained what gay for pay is. About how they should invite me to shoot a video with them.
I fumble for the bottle of lube I picked up the day after the party. It’s already half empty.
I stick my lube-slick hand into my boxers, then hiss as I wrap my fingers around my dick.
“He’s straight?” one of Rhys’s friends asks.
“Yeah, but Angel’s totally cool,” Rhys says. “You guys’ll love him.”
“But he has no experience. ”
“I’ll show him the ropes,” Rhys offers. “We’ll do a couple practice sessions before going in front of the camera.”
The scene changes.
Rhys is on his knees in front of me. My jeans are halfway down my thighs. His fingers, tipped in bright blue, are wrapped around the base of my dick. His lips, glistening and cherry red, are stretched thin as he sucks the head. His lashes flutter, his cheeks hollow, and he moans. Then he flicks his gaze up to mine. Framed in dark makeup, the browns of his eyes are deep pools that drag me down into their depths. I’m drowning. I can’t breathe.
The orgasm hits me hard and fast, racing through me and leaving me feeling a little drunk. I lie there for a moment as I catch my breath, the image of Rhys on his knees melting away. Then I force myself to get up and clean the cum off before it dries on my belly.
When I get back to bed, the screen on my phone is on and there’s a message from Rhys. My ears go hot, even though there’s no one here to witness my embarrassment. There’s no way he could know I was just jerking off. And definitely no way he’d know I was fantasizing about him. Rhys can’t read minds. Mind reading isn’t a thing!
With my heart pounding in my chest, I cautiously pick up my phone and read the message.
Rhys
How did the garden turn out? *flower emoji*
My bed squeaks in protest when I collapse onto it. He’s asking about the garden. Because I told him I was gardening, dummy. But he remembered and he cares enough to ask. My tummy flip-flops at the thought.
Angel
It’s a vegetable garden. *tomato emoji* *cucumber emoji* *carrot emoji* *eggplant emoji*
Rhys
*hand over laughing face emoji* No peaches?
No, peaches come from trees. I’d love to have a peach tree in the backyard though.
*laughing emoji* That would be pretty cool.
I get more comfortable on the bed, turning onto my side and grabbing a pillow to hug against my chest.
The dots bounce at the bottom of the screen and I hold my breath, waiting to see what Rhys has to say next.
Rhys
My friends saw the picture you sent me, btw. I tried to stop them, but they stole my phone.
They think you’re cute! *grinning emoji*
Rhys’s friends think I’m cute. The same friends he does gay porn with. What does that mean? Did he actually tell them about me? About our conversation at his dad’s birthday party? My stomach twists around itself and my palms get all clammy.
Rhys
Sorry. I hope that’s okay. *sad emoji*
Oh, no! I don’t want Rhys to feel bad. He hasn’t done anything wrong. My thumbs feel too big and clumsy as I hurry to type out a response.
Angel
Yeah, it’s okay. I don’t mind. Tell them I said thank you.
Rhys
*grinning emoji* So polite.
These are the friends you work with?
I cringe the second I hit send. Why did I ask that? What does it matter? Will he even know what I mean by “work”? I’m trying to delete the message when Rhys’s reply comes through.
Rhys
Yeah, the guys I do porn with. *winky face emoji*
My ears burn and I bury my face into the pillow. Why am I having this conversation? I should tell Rhys that I’m going to bed because I have to get up early for work tomorrow. I should stay far away from any talk about porn, especially gay porn.
I lift my face from the pillow, just enough for me to see the screen.
Angel
I recognize them.
Shit. Shit. Crap. Dang it. Why am I doing this?
Rhys
You do?? *eyes emoji*
Dare I ask from where?
Angel
From the videos…
*shocked emoji* Do you mean The Camboy Network videos??
Maybe…
I smother myself with the pillow again. I can’t believe I’m admitting this to anyone. Although, I guess if I had to, Rhys would be the only person I could tell. Even then. Why?!
My phone buzzes. Three times, four times, five times, in quick succession.
Rhys
Angel! Oh my!
Maybe you’re not quite as angelic as I thought!
Which ones did you watch?
Did you watch any of mine?
What did you think?
Despite myself, despite the mortifying embarrassment, a smile curls my lips. He doesn’t think I’m a bad person for watching those videos. He isn’t angry or offended. In fact, he sounds almost… excited? Like he’s happy that I watched them?
Rhys
Come on! Don’t leave me hanging! *praying hands emoji*
I stifle a giggle that wants to bubble up from my chest. I’m a grown man—I don’t giggle.
Angel
I’ve seen a few. I like the one where you’re dancing the best.
Rhys
The pole dancing one? I’m wearing a thong and then Hayden fucks me on stage while he’s fully dressed?
Jeez, how can he say those things out loud like that? Or type them. Whatever. Just put those words out there like… like… like it’s normal?
Angel
Yeah, that one.
Rhys
*smirk emoji* *kissy face emoji*
I like that one too.
The dots go bouncing again, stopping for a moment before starting back up. Every time there’s a pause, I rack my brain, trying to think of something else to say, something witty or smart or charming. But I keep coming up blank. Then the dots pop up again. What is Rhys typing? It must be something big. Why else would it take him so long?
I bite the pillow and force myself to breathe so I don’t pass out. My heart feels like it’s lodged in my throat. It takes forever before Rhys’s message comes through.
Rhys: So… Sebastian is one of the guys from brunch today. You might’ve seen him on The Camboy Network too. He’s the guy I was telling you about. The one you can talk to if you’re curious about the gay-for-pay stuff.
My lungs stop working as I read and reread the message half a dozen times.
Sebastian is the guy with the brown hair and the friendly smile. He does a lot of videos with an older man who has both arms covered in tattoos. Yeah, I recognize him. I definitely recognize him.
Rhys
Not that you have to! *squinty eyes, tongue out emoji*
Just pointing him out to you, you know, just in case.
I swallow, but my heart still feels like it’s wedged in my throat.
Just in case, Rhys said.
Just in case I want to go gay for pay.