Chapter 7
CHAPTER
SEVEN
RHYS
A part of me feels terrible for bringing it up again. But another part of me—the devilish counterpart to Angel’s… well, angel—is having a fucking field day.
I cannot believe Angel’s been watching videos on The Camboy Network website. There’s only one reason why he would be doing that, right? Well, maybe two reasons. But both of them are like, whoa, what the actual fuck?!
Either Angel’s seriously considering the whole gay-for-pay thing and is conducting some “research”, or Angel is not as straight as he claims to be.
Please. No straight boy takes the initiative to dig up our website and watch not just one, but several videos. No straight boy has a favorite video .
Hayden pokes me with his toes. “Are you messaging Teddy Bear?”
I poke him back. We’re on opposites ends of the couch. Hayden’s laid out on his side, watching TV, and I’m curled up in a ball with my phone an inch from my face .
“Maybe.”
“You definitely are. You’re smiling so hard, I’m surprised your face hasn’t broken.”
“Shut up. I’m not smiling.” Except I totally am. If I wasn’t having this conversation with Angel in real time, I wouldn’t believe it was real. He doesn’t know what a peach emoji means. Or an eggplant emoji for that matter. It’s so sweet I think I’m developing cavities.
Teddy Bear
Thanks.
I wait a moment for another message to come through, but there’s nothing. Fuck. Did I push too hard? Come on too strong? Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up at all. I was trying for a teasing tone, but that doesn’t always come across very well over texts.
Shit. Fuck. I’m typing an apology when another message finally pops up.
Teddy Bear
I’m still not sure how I feel about all that.
My thumbs hover above my screen.
He’s not sure how he feels. Which isn’t an outright rejection. Which means there’s a chance he might actually be interested.
Oh my god, can I talk him into it? Should I talk him into it? I can be very persuasive, but being an enabler doesn’t feel quite right when it comes to porn. It’s something a person needs to decide for themselves because once it’s on the internet, it’ll be impossible to take down. There’s no going back.
Rhys
Did you want to talk about it?
My message appears in the thread, then three seconds later, my phone starts ringing. I almost drop the thing—no one but Mom ever calls me. That’s such a weird, old-person thing to do.
But it’s not Mom. It’s Angel. Why the fuck is he calling me?
Oh shit. Did he think my message was an invitation to actually talk? Like, with our mouths?
I jump to my feet, holding my phone away from me like it’s a bomb I don’t know what to do with.
Hayden’s gaze flits to me, otherwise he doesn’t move a muscle. “Everything okay?”
“Uh… I don’t know?”
“You going to answer the call?”
“It’s a video call.”
Hayden bites back a smile. “Pretty sure they work the same way.”
“But I look— I’m not— Ugh!” I dart around the coffee table and into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. I’m not ready to be seen on camera. My hair is in the world’s messiest bun—an actual messy bun, not an artfully messy one. I’ve already washed my makeup off. I’m wearing nothing but a pair of silk sleep shorts and the matching silk robe. “Fuck!”
I cover the phone’s camera with my hand, then swipe to answer. “Hey! Hi! Hold on a sec! Lemme just…”
Ring light plugged in and switched on. Pointed at an angle to create mood lighting. Bedcovers tugged sort of into place. I scoot all the way back so I’m leaning against the wall. The elastic in my hair comes out and I fluff up the strands with my fingers. When I finally uncover the camera, I look… not terrible.
“Hi, hello, sorry about that.” I finally take in the image on my screen and have to stifle a gasp.
Jesus fucking Christ. I might look like I’m about to slide into bed, but Angel is already in bed . Lying on his side, pillow tucked under his head. Warm, yellow light casts shadows across his face, but the camera clearly captures the angle of his collarbone and his very naked shoulder. The gold chain of his necklace rests on his skin.
Oh, fuck me, right fucking now, please.
“Hey, um, I hope it’s okay that I called. Is this a bad time? I can call back later. Or not call. Or whatever.”
“Yes! No!” I wince. “I mean, no, it’s not a bad time, and yes, it’s totally cool that you called. What’s up?!”
What is up is my cock, growing from sleepy to chubby to plump in zero point five seconds. I grab my pillow and press it into my lap. Angel can’t possibly see the tent in my shorts, but I’ve suddenly been hit with a bout of bashfulness.
Angel is so sweet and I am so very not. I’m super comfortable in my own body and clearly sex positive, but when faced with Angel’s obvious innocence, I kinda feel like I’m corrupting him.
Which is ridiculous, of course. Hello, he was just telling me about which gay porn videos he likes to watch. But still! He’s just so… ngh!
“You… you asked if I wanted to talk about… you know.” His voice is all low and rumbly, exactly how I imagine a bear would sound if the animal could speak. I swea r I can feel it vibrate all the way through the call and into my chest.
“Ye—” I clear my throat. “Yeah, for sure. Did you have questions? What were you thinking? Sebastian’s the best person to talk to, but I’ll try to answer the best I can.”
Great. Now I’m rambling.
“I just…” Angel blinks his incredibly long, dark lashes. When he speaks, it’s barely a whisper and I have to bring the phone closer to hear him. “Can you… can you tell me how you got into… you know. And um, why?”
He can’t bring himself to say the word “porn”. I fight back a doting sigh.
“Of course I can.” I shift to get more comfortable and prop my arm up on a pillow so the camera is angled just right. “It’s not a very interesting story. I moved out of my parents’ house when I was eighteen and I needed money. Camming was an easy option. You don’t really need any skills to get started. There’s no manager you have to convince to hire you.”
There’s the slightest furrow in Angel’s brow, and his lips are pressed together in concentration. He’s really listening to my answer, like he really wants to know.
“I was good at it and it was fun. I built up a following really quickly, then I met my friends—Hayden and Sebastian and Noel. We work together a lot, especially since Sebastian started The Camboy Network. And now it’s kind of, like, a career?”
I hate that my voice goes up at the end, as if I have doubts. Because I don’t. Camming is my career. Sex work is work, damn it. We’ve all put a lot into making The Camboy Network successful and our efforts are totally paying off .
“But that’s not the only thing you do, right? You also dance?” Angel asks. There’s no derision in his voice, no hint of accusation. He’s genuinely interested in my life. He actually wants to understand.
No one’s ever done that before—taken an interest in what I do for a living. My family makes a point of not asking, and all my friends are already in the industry. I’ve never had a chance to explain why I do what I do.
My stomach flutters with butterflies at the chance to brag about myself a bit. And the intensely focused look in Angel’s eyes makes me warm all over. I can’t help sounding a little giddy when I speak.
“Yup! The camming pays for the dancing. Especially at the beginning when I was taking a lot of classes. I get paid for pole dancing now, but nowhere near enough to live off of. If it wasn’t for the camming, I wouldn’t have the time to dance.”
Angel’s quiet for a moment, gaze drifting off to the side. It looks like there’s a lot going through his head and I don’t want to rush him into talking if he’s not ready. Then suddenly, he buries his face into the pillow and mumbles something I can’t understand.
“Uh, I didn’t catch that.”
He pops open one eye and shifts just enough to unmuffle his lips. “I can’t stop thinking about it?”
I press my lips together and take a slow, calming breath. Jesus Christ Almighty, how is he so goddamn adorable?! I want to reach through the screen and pinch his cheeks. I want to see if his ears have gone pink like they did that day at the party. I shift to press the pillow more firmly against my aching erection .
“Um, what part can’t you stop thinking about?”
Angel buries his face again and stays like that for so long I’m worried he’s going to suffocate.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to share,” I say, trying to coax him out of the pillow.
Angel lets out a huff and a grumble, then the camera goes all blurry. The sound of a mattress squeaking comes through the line, then Angel comes back into view. He’s sitting up now, leaning against the headboard, wide, hairy chest on full display.
My cock is rock hard. Holy hell, that chest. With the low lighting, it’s not super clear, but I can make out the rounded pecs and the swell of his belly. All covered in dark hair with two distinct nipples peeking through.
My mouth waters. It fucking waters and I have to gulp down my own saliva before it leaks out the side of my mouth.
“It isn’t any one thing, I don’t think,” Angel says, and I quickly blink away the fog of lust to make sure I don’t miss anything. “It’s… everything. All of it. Together.”
He’s not looking at the camera as he speaks. Instead, his gaze is focused somewhere off to the side, and his brows are drawn together, and his lips are twisted up. He’s not merely concentrating. He looks frustrated.
“Does that make any sense?” He shifts his gaze to the camera, and even though the lighting is bad and the angle isn’t great and his face is about half the size of my phone’s screen, it feels like he’s looking straight into my soul.
I don’t know how to describe the look in his eyes, but it’s intense and potent. It catches me in its snare and I don’t want it to let me go. There are hidden depths to this man, places in him that I doubt he’s ever explored himself. Places he probably doesn’t even know exist. He might be a cuddly teddy bear on the surface, but his soul is old and profound.
Has he always been like this? Even back when we were kids? I had no reason to be friends with him back then, but now I wish I’d taken the time to get to know him. Maybe I would’ve discovered this buried treasure years before now.
“I…” have no idea what you’re asking because I’m too distracted by your hairy chest and soulful eyes.
He drops his gaze again and I suck in a lungful of air. I hadn’t realized I stopped breathing. I blink and shake my head. I feel like I’m coming out of some sort of hypnotic daze.
“Um, I think it’d be good for you to talk to Sebastian,” I finally say, then hurry to add, “It doesn’t mean you’re committing to anything. But Sebastian’s a cool guy and he’s really smart. He always has an answer for everything.”
There’s that look of intense concentration again, as if the offer requires serious consideration before he signs his life away.
“I can be there, if you want. We can chat about camming or about being gay or about whatever you want! You can come over to our place and we can have drinks or order in or just hang out. It’ll be low-key.”
God, I need to stop rambling.
But there’s a quirk at the corner of Angel’s mouth, and the solemn look in his eyes lightens.
“What do you say?” I ask again, wanting him to say “yes” way more than I should .
When he finally nods, it feels like fireworks go off in my stomach. I almost want to jump up and down on the bed.
“Yeah?” I ask, needing verbal confirmation.
“Yeah, I’ll meet with you and Sebastian.”