Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
ALISON
A nd there it was. My fate was sealed with a kiss on the back of my hand.
Six months to live in freedom.
Vincenzo was a dream to look at and nothing short of intriguing. At least my husband would be a source of interesting conversations and exchanges.
I sat back in my seat, mentally looking into the prospects of my future while staring into the almost empty coffee cup in front of me.
I wasn’t sure why I had requested those months. Maybe in that time, I could understand who I wanted to become. Maybe I could even have some fun. Forget my old self, she definitely wasn’t taking me anywhere. Open myself to a new Alison. The Alison I would become. The only question was, who was she? Alison Massimo, the… blank space to be filled.
With this fresh start came a new life, a new name, a new family. I would have to adjust to it all. But in that change came the freedom of being whoever I wanted without the pressure of the past. It was like a reset button on a life that had been stalled. All my life, I’d been trying to be something I wasn’t. Trying to mold myself into what I thought the perfect Alison could be. The perfect daughter.
I couldn’t do that now.
After practically vanishing from AD the other day, I called Liam, telling him I needed a couple of days off. He felt the distress in my voice even though I tried as best I could to hide it, threatening to come over to check on me.
The white lie I came up with saved me from prying questions that I didn’t want to answer. At least, not yet. I wasn’t sure exactly what was bothering me the most. Adrianne, my father, or Max. Or even why they were all so big of an issue.
Max was nothing but a dead end. Something I could only mend, forget, and erase.
After today, it was clear that the tension I felt in his kisses, that dance, and even the fucked up moment we shared last night was a total misconception. There was nothing between us, and there never would be. He had kissed me and soon after was bidding some girl goodbye with the longest and most pornographic of French kisses as she left the hotel. Girlfriend or not, I didn’t enjoy seeing that.
For the briefest of moments, I saw her face instead of that slimeball’s as she sat in that chair, hands tied, awaiting a gruesome fate. Those thoughts were too telling of how much it bothered me.
As for Adrianne, I had to face my father about that issue before telling my brothers, but I was still building the courage to do it.
I found myself rehearsing what I would tell him. Playing out our conversation like a movie in my mind, imagining the smallest details. But in the privacy of my thoughts, I could redo it when it came out wrong. I could rewind it, erase it, and do it over, coming back stronger before messing it up again.
I was starting to believe there was no right way to do it. And still, the anticipation that it had to happen was wrecking my nerves and mood. All of it was messing with me, to be honest. All of it but the ‘promised to be married to a stranger’ part. How fucked up was that?
I fished my phone from my bag and sent the gym a text to check if they had any vacancies for today. For a couple of months now, I had been attending self-defense training. It had been Francesca’s idea, and it ended up being a really good way to relieve some of the pent-up stress of real life. It helped that our instructor, Victor, was extra easy on the eyes.
I hadn’t gone in weeks. Ever since the workload at AD had sky-rocketed. Maybe exerting myself to exhaustion would be a perfect solution.
There was something liberating in having your ass kicked until you couldn’t move. Life became less unbearable after releasing your pain into an angry scream that preceded a punch. It was symbolic, of course, but it did the trick a couple of times before. The first time I actually hit someone was yesterday, and that shit was just a real express button to decompression.
Maybe it could help get me through the day today. I had a new target. Two, in fact. They were both kicking my ass right now. I needed to flip that table and feel in control again.
My phone rang, swaying me from my deep thoughts as an unknown number flashed on the screen.
“Hello?” I answered. It was more of a question than a greeting.
“ Buenos días, Princesa . How are you doing?” Good morning, princess. I only knew one Spanish guy with a voice as deep as that. A low tone that vibrated in a totally different frequency than any other voice heard, dropping yet another tone when he spoke those sexy Spanish words.
“Victor?”
“ Claro. ?Quién más? Who else? I was just calling to tell you that, for you, I’m always wide open.” Oh, That was not suggestive at all!
“Well, great. What time works best for you?”
“Let’s say in half an hour, is that okay?”
“Perfect. I’ll see you then.” He could be a pretty good distraction. His training, I mean. “Oh, and Victor?”
“?Yes, guapa? ” Beautiful.
“Don’t go easy on me because of my brothers, okay?” Matt had him contracted to train his men. He knew all about our lifestyle, who my brother was, and therefore, who I was.
“Don’t worry. When I do something, I always go all the way. You’ll be gasping for air by the time I’m done with you.” I laughed as the double meaning behind his words registered in my mind.
He’d always been blunt about his interest in me, but I had been too occupied to even give it another thought. If I’m honest with myself, I thought it was just something he did to all the women who attended his Wing Tsun classes.
“I’ll hold you to it.” I’ll hold you to it? Seriously?
I hung up, still mindlessly stirring the last sip of coffee with my spoon and looking into that cup as if it held all the answers to my life.
“Another date?” I heard from behind me. My soul almost leaving my body from the unexpected company.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Max! Are you trying to kill me?”
“Don’t swear, Miss Battaglia. It doesn’t suit you.”
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Is that better?” I practically sang, not even trying to mask the annoyance in my voice. I did not feel like dealing with Max right now. Avoiding him was my plan, and he was just making it fucking impossible.
“Not even slightly. So, are you going to answer my question?”
“Oh, yes, of course, I’m sorry.” I ironically smiled, waiting as he took the seat across from me so that he could fully register my response. “Not your fucking business.”
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”
“I woke up just fine. It was getting a full show of mingling tongues so early in the morning that got me bitter. What’s her name? I’m not sure we’ve been introduced!” I tried to let it go, and my big mouth failed. I held my hand up as Max was about to speak, and I finally got a grip on the sudden flare of anger and resentment crawling in my chest. “And that is none of my business. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else I’d rather be.” I got up and left.
Thankfully, Max didn’t even try to stop me or follow.
I went to my apartment, packed a gym bag with the clothes I needed for the session as well as some fresh ones I could change into after training. I was ready and warming up before Victor arrived. As I had told him, my plan was to exorcize my demons through exhaustion. Maybe I could even have a decent night’s sleep after Victor ran me down and drowned me in sweat.
“ ?Guapa como siempre! ” Beautiful as usual. I heard him say from the door as I warmed up on the treadmill.
“Hello, Victor.” I smiled, stepping down, reaching for my towel, and cleaning the beads of sweat that were now falling down my forehead.
Victor was a sight for sore eyes. As usual, he came into the room, shutting the door behind him before taking off his shirt. He was like a freaking rock. Thick and toned to perfection. I mean chest, abs, arms, and thighs like a Spanish God.
Well, I’m not sure Spain had any pagan Gods. If not, then he’s as singular as they come. Every time I came here, I couldn’t help but stare a little. He was extremely handsome, with light brown hair and the darkest of eyes. His upper body was covered in alluring tattoos, embellishing all those hard muscles hidden under the ink. He had a dense beard and long hair that he would normally tie up in a man bun when we trained, all of it giving him an undeniably sexy playboy vibe.
He came closer and placed a lingering kiss on each of my cheeks, his hand so low on my back it was borderline inappropriate, but neither one of us seemed to care.
“When are you going to take me up on that drink?” He asked once again, as he usually did, and I laughed, as always, blushing a little.
“Maybe when you stop asking all your students out.”
“You wound me, Gata . Kitten. I don’t date my students. You are the exception I would very gladly be willing to make.” I wasn’t sure how true that was, but he did seem candid. Either he was a true player, and by the looks of him, I wouldn’t have any doubt about his success, or he was being truthful.
“Maybe one day, Victor.”
“I can’t wait, Gata . But today, I promised you breathless. Let’s get on that, shall we?”
He didn’t cower away from his promise. He took the training today to a whole new level, or I was just unfit.
Victor wore me down with cardio first, moving on to one-on-one fighting techniques, all up close and personal. Very close and very personal. More times than one, this ‘dance’ felt more erotic than aggressive. But I was lacking the focus today, and time after time, he knocked me on my ass. I was a rag after the first thirty minutes of fighting.
“Fuck, Alison. Focus! You are not even trying. Think of me as your problems, your demons. ? Enfretáme como tu peor pesadilla !” Face me as your worst nightmare. He shouted to my face, trying to make me react.
I stood up, taking my defensive stance, waiting for him to charge at me. Again, he sent me flying to the ground as he rested his whole weight on me, pinning me beneath him, the anger burning behind his dark eyes quickly softening when I didn’t break the gaze. If he asked me out again, right now, I would inadvertently say yes. I had no more standing walls to crumble.
“You’re distracted, Guapa . Am I the one distracting you?”
“It wouldn’t hurt if you wore a shirt.” I smiled, admitting my weakness between ragged, shallow breaths, not speaking the whole truth.
“Then you do like what you see.” He replied with a sly grin on his face.
“Who wouldn’t?”
“Now that I know that, I will never put on a shirt again.” He lifted his weight, sitting next to me, leaving me to recover on the floor as I tried to catch my breath from the ass-whooping I just got. “You okay there, Princess? Do you need some water… oxygen… a kiss?”
“I might need CPR. Bear with me while I relearn how to breathe.” He chuckled at my words, standing up and holding his hand out to help me stand.
Victor pulled me up with close to no effort, not backing away from the sudden closeness. He had barely broken a sweat during our training session while I was a panting mess. Even more, now that his heavenly woody scent had been marked in my brain while he brushed a strand of hair away from my face.
This close, he was even more impressive. His dark eyes held a kind and soft glow, his smile a candidness I don’t recall seeing in any other man. He stood there staring down at me, peering into my soul as if it was the first time he laid eyes on me.
“Your boyfriend is a very lucky guy, Alison.” I knew he was fishing for information, but there was no reason not to tell him what he wanted to know.
“I don’t have one, Victor, if that’s what you wanted to know,” I said, finally breaking the entranced stare.
“Perfecto. Then what’s keeping you from going on a date with me?”
“I don’t know. You kinda look like a real womanizer.” I laughed awkwardly at the confession while gathering my gear.
“That’s because you don’t know me, Princess.” I felt a pang of guilt for my prejudiced judgment, especially because he came across as nothing but completely honest. Not once had he given me a reason to think that, but because of his looks, career, and smooth talk, at least towards me, I had jumped to that conclusion, no questions asked.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“I’m a grown man, I can survive the pain,” He joked, lightening the mood. “I don’t tire easily. I’ll keep asking. Maybe one day you’ll say yes.”
I smiled, contemplating what was truly holding me back now. Morals? Why can a man sleep around and be called a stud, but when a woman does it, she gets called a whore. I mean, even at the back of my mind, that’s what I’m thinking. ‘Don’t be a whore, Alison. You’re sleeping with Jackson and craving Max. Don’t add more wood to that fire. ’
“Yes, Victor. Maybe one day.” I faintly smiled, sure that I shouldn’t be feeding any hopes at this point.
“I can see it from here.” Victor came to stand in front of me. We’d been closer when we sparred, our bodies fused together, yet this closeness felt so much more intrusive. So much more personal and loaded.
“What?” I looked around myself, worried I was flashing more skin than I should.
“Your broken smile. You look like Matteo. Miserable after losing that wife of his.”
“I’m okay.” He didn’t even ask, and I was ready to go on the defensive.
“Just keep in mind that I don’t mind just being your friend, Alison. Or your punching bag. This world can be lonely.”
I could fall for a man like Victor. Sincere. Caring. Honest. Yet even though my skin heated at his touch, my heart forgot to skip a beat. And my mind? My stupid mind went flying back to Max and what he would say if he saw us standing so close together.
“I just…” I trailed off, not sure about what to say.
Victor hooked his index finger under my chin, making me look straight into his eyes.
“If I can help you make him jealous, I’m down for that, too.”
“What?”
“Come on. Don’t tell me you don’t want that. Imagine him watching me kiss you. Would he be pissed or just not care?”
“I don’t know.” That was a lie. Jesus, Max would be pissed, and I wanted so badly to see it.
For a moment there, I thought about what that meant. I craved to make Max feel just as jealous and angry as I was a couple of hours ago when I saw him kissing that beautiful redhead. For a moment, I wished he was watching me now and biting into the side of his cheek. For a moment, I wished he’d come crashing into this place and take me away to be his forever.
“Think about it.”
Jesus… I’m fucked!