Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
ALISON
' I t was so good to see you. When can I expect another visit?’ I couldn’t help but smile at my phone after reading Victor’s text. I’d read it a couple of times already, but I had yet to reply.
As predicted, Victor had been a good and welcomed distraction. I mean, his training session, not him. The workout only, that’s what I meant.
I blocked my phone again, deciding that I shouldn’t give in to the urge to send him some stupidly flirty text.
He looked like a rough and ruthless warrior. A brick house that no bulldozer could bring to its knees. But his big, strong hands were soft and tender when he handled me.
His hard and serious expression turned gentler once the fighting play game was over. His words and deep voice verbalizing nothing but what seemed like honest compliments that made me smile. He was so much bigger than me, but he was never overbearing. I never felt threatened, even if he could crush me without even trying. He made me feel light and breezy, carefree, and somehow seen.
He didn’t treat me any differently because of who I was, because of who my brother was. To him, I was just Alison, and for once, not having any other label attached to that felt nice. Like I could be me. Like I could just be.
I had planned a surprise dinner for Francesca after the confirmation that she was now the head of her family. The first-ever Donna in The Commission. Quite an accomplishment for a woman, and I was definitely down for a celebration.
How did that work out for me? It blew up in my damn face, that’s how.
Francesca had to stay home, caring for my drunk brother while Max filled her spot at the table. He sat right in front of me, those prying eyes assessing me from time to time. Exactly what I needed to fuck up the endorphins from my exhausting workout.
I was trying as hard as I could to not pay him any attention, but apparently, he hadn’t got that memo. Gladly enough, dinner was almost over, and we had barely exchanged two words.
“Are you okay?” He asked, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence that I would much rather suffer through than to have this conversation. I tore my eyes away from my phone to bore them into Max’s iced glare.
“Uh-huh.” I simply mumbled, hoping he would just leave it at that.
“Are you really?” Of course he couldn’t just let it go.
“Fucking family, smoke, mirrors, and apparently blasts from the past. Let’s leave it at that,” I replied, not leaving any room to continue this conversation. I was trying as hard as I could to block Adrianne from my mind, at least until I confronted my father about her, since the other issue bothering me was sitting right in front of me. I inhaled deeply, pushing all of them to the back of my mind again .
I unlocked my phone, the same message I had now memorized coming back onto the screen.
Ask me again
I finally replied. A new and innocent rush of excitement ran through my body as soon as I hit the send button. I could use a friend.
“I never took Jackson for a funny guy.” He muttered before taking a generous sip out of his wine glass.
“What do you mean?” I raised my head from the screen, waiting for his reply. Somehow, I could sense the beginning of a snarky comment. That was always the case when Jackson was the subject.
“Because you can’t stop smiling at your phone.” I watched Max’s fingers tighten around his glass as he replied.
I couldn’t help the eye roll that followed as soon as I heard his words.
My phone buzzed with a new message, making that same grin spread across my lips as I read it.
Victor
I will, Guapa. But I want to hear your voice when you say yes.
But still, Max’s eyes were set on me, waiting for any acknowledgment of what he had just implied.
“Don’t fish for information, Max. Just ask whatever the hell you want to know.” I snarled just above a whisper so that no one else at the table could hear it.
If I was ever thankful for a full and noisy restaurant, that would be today. On the surface, there was no reason for any kind of animosity to exist between Max and me, but the surface only showed the half-truths we allowed people to see.
“Fine. Who on earth has the power to make you blush through a text?” Max’s voice displayed a less amused tone than his words would suggest. A berating underline that I could feel in my bones. I hadn’t even noticed I was blushing until he mentioned it.
“That, Mr. ‘I don’t even know your last name’, is yet again, none of your business.” I smiled, this time forcefully, watching as my words did absolutely nothing to affect him. He was like this unreadable mystery I just couldn’t afford to get caught up in.
“Zoe.” He simply said.
“What?”
“Her name is Zoe.”
“I just said I didn’t know your last name, but you chose to go with that?”This man was unbelievable. He’s been working for my brother for over three years now, and I have yet to see him disclose anything about himself.
“I’m just going in order. That was your first question, earlier today.” Had he been thinking about that until now?
“So you were listening?”
“Always! Now you can answer my question.”
“What is this? A twenty-questions game?” I chuckled ironically. Why did it feel like there was always a game to be played with him? He was right in front of me, but I could never truly reach him.
“Well, that’s not such a bad idea. Maybe we could do that.” He whispered, leaning forward towards me, making sure no one else was listening. Liam, Jamie, and Francesca’s brother Tommy were engrossed in conversation about the army and Tommy’s missions in Afghanistan. All eyes were set somewhere else, allowing us a little privacy .
“Umm…” I stopped to ponder this suggestion, taking it seriously for the first time. I would be at a huge disadvantage since he knew practically everything about me, and I didn’t know the first thing about him. But then again, he would quickly run out of questions while I had a million already surfacing. “Deal. But we have to set some ground rules.”
“Sure. Makes sense. I can suggest the first one. Complete and crude honesty always. We reply with nothing but the truth, even if it’s embarrassing, degrading, or just painful to hear.”
“Fine. And the questions have to be specific, and no answering a question with another question.” He was nodding as I spoke, silently agreeing with my proposition.
“Anything else? Any limits you want to draw?”
“Limits?! Are you scared, Maxy Max?”
“Why would I be?”
“ Anything is game for me. If you have something to hide, maybe it’s best you don’t enter such a dangerous game.” Max lightly chuckled, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
“I was asking for your sake. No limits, then. Do we have a deal?” He outstretched his hand to shake mine and seal our agreement.
“We have a deal.” I placed my hand in his, but instead of shaking it, he brought it up to his lips and placed a lingering suggestive kiss. As soon as he came back to reality, he broke it, realizing we weren’t alone.
“So you have nineteen questions left. I’ll be keeping tabs.”
“Nineteen? How could I have nineteen if I haven’t asked you anything?” I asked in a whispered outrage.
“You asked me a question earlier. I just replied. That’s a question asked. Nineteen to go. ”
“That doesn’t count. We hadn’t agreed on anything yet! That’s not fair.”
“I’m in The Mafia, Princess. What in the world ever gave you the thought that I played fair?” For the first time ever, I saw a glint of playfulness shine behind what seemed like an incorruptible armor of stealth and angelic, deceiving blue eyes. Was he finally allowing his true colors to show? Nah… another game, I’m sure.
“Well, I make the rules, too, so that question doesn’t count, or I won’t answer any of yours.”
“Fine, but then you have to answer mine, and it can’t count, either. It’s called compromise, Baby.”
Baby.
Why the hell did I clench my thighs?
I finally conceded after a small stare-down. “Victor,” I answered with nothing but a name, just as he had done.
There was a flash of a surprised expression, which quickly faded as he replaced it with a serious one. The sudden coldness in his eyes was bone-chilling.
“Happy?”
“Fucking ecstatic.” The grin he had on dripped in acidic sarcasm. Max lifted his glass to toast with mine before downing the whole thing at once. “Anything you want to start with?”
I had one thing in mind, but I wasn’t sure this was the right time or place for it. I wanted to know why he kissed me. Especially now that we were bound by honesty. I knew he wouldn’t bend that rule, and neither would I. But whatever his answer was, it was for my ears only, and we were already pushing it as it was.
“Not right now. Not here.” I replied, looking around, showing him we had too much company for what I wanted to know .
“Drinks after, then?”
“I can’t. Besides, I don’t think Zoe would approve of that.” I could feel the acidity of those words lingering in my mouth.
My stomach dropped an inch as I released them and realized it still bothered me. There was something about knowing her name now that made her more real. His kiss was still too fresh in my mind, too imprinted on my lips to make me not care in such a short time. The way he had hugged me by the end of our dance… I thought I had felt deep yearning, that I had almost gotten him to snap his restraints. But now I know why they exist. I wasn’t her.
“You can’t because you have plans.” He’s smart. He made that in a way that it wasn’t exactly a question but more of a statement that he was waiting for me to deny or confirm.
“Well, Maxy Max, as a matter of fact, I do have plans. I am free and single, and that’s what people do.” Single for six months, and I was going to meet with my soon-to-be husband.
“A rain check then.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“As friends, Alison. Or is it too hard for you to picture me as a friend because I work for your brother?”
“I didn’t say that. Again, you did. And no, not because you work for Matt, but because you have a girlfriend, Max, and I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate you taking other lady friends out for drinks.” He moved to contest but refrained halfway.
I couldn’t keep my mind from ricocheting between my father and Max. A weird parallel being drawn in the mists of my foggy brain once again. They truly were the same, but Max should abide by a different code of Honor. Was he a hypocrite ?
“It’s just a drink, nothing else to read into.” He was right, his suggestion was far from anything inappropriate. But history between us revealed innocent encounters to have not-so-unsullied endings. “But fine, suit yourself. I won’t ask you again if it makes you that angry.”
Maybe the bad intentions were in my mind and not in his. Maybe I was the one hoping that a drink would turn into something more than it really was. Just a drink.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t deal well with–” My phone rang, saving me from having to finish that sentence that would only plunge me into issues I didn’t care to address at this very table. Not yet, at least. “Excuse me.” I stood up and walked out of the restaurant to have some privacy and silence to take the call.
“Hello?” I answered as soon as I stepped out into the night’s cold breeze.
“Good evening, Lionessa . How are you tonight?”
“Vincenzo!” I recognized his voice and the new pet name he seemed to have assigned me. “I’m alright, thank you.”
“I hate to break a date with my future wife, but unfortunately, I’m not in good shape this evening. Maybe we could reschedule for tomorrow if that’s okay with you.”
“It’s perfect. Is there anything I can help with?”
“No, no. I’ll be fine. Some rest should have me back to normal by morning. I’m already used to the ups and downs of my reality. It’s not yet your burden, my dear.” I couldn’t help the sense of helplessness and sorrow that was filling my chest.
How unfair can life be to treat someone in the prime of his life this way? I knew he was playing it down, I could hear the exhaustion in his voice.
“I know, but I’m still happy to help if I can. Please call me if you need anything, okay? ”
“My men have me covered. There’s nothing to be concerned about. I’ll call you tomorrow, Nessa. ” A small smile escaped my lips even though I was still wallowing in his revolting reality. “Oh, and Alison. I sent a small present to be delivered to your house. I hope you don’t mind the intrusion, but since I asked you to marry me and I have yet to give you a ring, I thought a gift could help mitigate my negligence.”
“You shouldn’t have.”
“Oh, but I should, and I have. I will spoil you until my last breath, Nessa.” I released a small exhaled chuckle as I fiddled with my hair. “Now, have a good evening, Princess. We will speak tomorrow. Ciao, bella mia .”
“Thank you, Vincenzo. Please take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
I had my eyes still glued to the pavement as my mind wandered to how Vincenzo could deal so well with his condition or if it was just a coping mechanism. Maybe saying you are alright time and time again would have you starting to believe it to be true.
“Bad news?” Max chimed from behind as he placed my coat over my shoulders and handed me my handbag.
Liam, Jamie, and Tommy were now also exiting the restaurant. I took a deep breath, hoping he wouldn’t perceive it, before turning around and hiding the apprehension behind the fake shine of the most honest smile I could handle.
“No, no. Everything is fine.” I mastered that white lie, it was further questions that could disarm me. “Guys, I have to get going. I’ll see you next week at work. I hope you haven’t burned the place down in my absence.” I said as Liam and Jamie approached, trying to sound natural and unaffected by the prospect of going back and facing my father. “It was nice to meet you, Tommy. Max…” I said, finally bidding my goodbyes and turning to leave.
“Alison, wait,” Max called, making me stop a few feet ahead as he caught up with me. “Do you need me to drop you off somewhere? If Don Battaglia knew I was allowing you to wander around the city alone at this time of the night, he would definitely fire me on the spot.”
“Don Battaglia? So you are worried about what my brother would say and not my safety? That’s enlightening! Besides, Max, I’m a grown woman. I don’t need anyone’s permission for anything.”
“That came out wrong. Let me get you to wherever it is you’re going safely, please?”
“Good night, Max,” I replied in a louder voice as I turned and walked away, leaving him standing on the sidewalk alone.
“Fine, I’ll just follow you then.” I looked back, and he was, indeed, following me.
“Don’t be creepy.”
“Creepy is my middle name.”
“Max, just stop!”
“Let me take you, and I will.”
“Listen, I can’t go with you, okay? I don’t want to be alone with you again. Look what happened the last few times we were alone. And you can’t because of her, and I just… I just can’t, okay?” I angrily said, not controlling the truth from spilling out.
“Ali—” Max grabbed my wrist, trying to stop me from leaving. The burn of his skin on mine unleashing whatever restraints were keeping my words at bay.
“Do you want a question? I’ll give you one. Why did you kiss me the other day?” I blurted, interrupting whatever it was he was going to say. I couldn’t hold that question in any longer. It had me biting my tongue to keep myself from asking, but now it was out there.
My chest was rising and falling at a heightened speed. Adrenaline was now driving me. The silence that followed was deafening. I could hear nothing but my ragged and unnerved breath.
“Damn, you start strong!” Max cooed. I snarled and turned away again, darting away from him as I made my way home. We had a deal, and I could see him hesitating to follow through. “I don’t know, okay?” He shouted, and I came to a halt.
“We agreed on honesty, Max,” I said as he walked towards me again. He reached for my hand and held it between his, stepping closer until there was hardly any space between our bodies. I could feel my soul wanting to reach out to him, wanting him to bend down and place his lips against mine again.
“I’m being honest, Alison. I won't even charge you a question. But I have no real answer for that. I just saw you so distraught and vulnerable. I just wanted to be there for you at that moment, take your pain away however I could. That’s the only answer I can give you right now because that’s the only one that feels right.” His eyes held a truthful glare that didn't waiver, but still, his answer wasn’t enough for me. “But if it’s honesty that you want, I’ll give it to you. Right now, I’m fighting the urge to kiss you again. That’s as much of my truth as I can give you right now.” I closed my eyes tightly, summoning all the strength I had in me to push him away.
“I don’t need you to fix me, Max. I need you to leave me alone.”
“Alison.”
“Please, Max. I can’t keep doing this. ”
“If that’s really what you want.” I couldn’t look at him, or I wouldn’t be able to carry on.
He had a girlfriend, but somehow, I still wanted him. How’s that for a fucking hypocrite? I just nodded with my head still hanging low.
Max released my hand and took an exaggeratedly pronounced step back. “Good night, Miss Battaglia.”
He turned and left, and I did the same as he wedged that canyon between us again.
Fuck. Maybe this was a more dangerous game than I thought. I was beginning to get the impression that five hundred questions wouldn’t be enough to figure out the weirdness between Max and me. I need to push him out of my mind somehow. The way he affected me scared me to death. I had to act on it now before I was completely lost.
A simpler question popped up in my mind as I walked the remaining ten blocks back to my apartment. I took my phone out of my pocket, rapidly writing a text, hitting send without a second thought.
Wanna call me and ask me now?