Chapter 14 #2
“Adorable.” Dagobert presented his hand palm down with a roll of his eyes. “Trust that the pleasure is mine.”
“Dagobert Baumann Von Liechtenberg is one of two vampires permitted to live in the city,” Sariel said. “As a monster of the Terrestrial, he answers to Mr. Morénas-Mostro.”
“Oh, big and grumpy?” Seymour snorted. “Sucks to be you.”
Dagobert smirked. “Says the man who’s running errands for King Zolrya and Talos?”
Seymour tensed immediately.
How the hell did he—
“Word travels fast, darling.” Dagobert produced a black lace fan and snapped it open, still smirking away. “You know how the lesser fae love to gossip, and I’m always happy to listen!” He winked at Sariel. “Quite the statement you’re making, by the way. Good for you.”
Sariel glared harder.
Dagobert rolled his eyes. “No need to get huffy.” He waved his hand through the air. “Think you’d be in a better mood since you were finally getting that chain of yours stroked.”
Sariel’s gaze glowed like twin golden fires.
“Can I eat him?” Day whispered, even though there was no way for Dagobert to hear her.
“No,” Seymour whispered back.
“Why not? He’s making Sariel upset.” Day growled. “And I’m hungry.”
“No eating the vampire.” Seymour beamed sweetly, speaking nice and loud this time. “Look at all that velvet. That’ll probably give ya’ indigestion, lil’ girl.”
Dagobert glanced over Seymour warily, searching for whatever it was he could not see, but he made sure to smile and flash his big fangs. “Charming.” He waved toward a vacant table near the stage. “Shall I seat you? Or is this a business call?”
“Business,” Sariel said shortly. He thought it over and then added, “But seat us. Please.”
“Of course.” Dagobert flicked his fan for them to follow him.
Sariel took Seymour’s arm and fell into step after Dagobert, his halo and wings now in full view.
Seymour could feel eyes on them, definitely not friendly, so he was happy about Sariel flexing his angel stuff. The atmosphere was thicker here than at Lovecraft’s, and Seymour was grateful to have such visible support.
Yes, Day was giving everyone dirty looks and puffing up nice and big, but no one could actually see her.
It was the thought that counted, right?
Sariel pulled out a chair for Seymour and then dragged another one around so that all three would face the stage.
Seymour sat, helping Day down into the seat in the middle.
Sariel took his place on the other side, and he smiled softly. It faded when he looked up and Dagobert grinned his way.
Seymour didn’t think angels were much on eating people like Day did, but the loathing in his expression indicated he would make an honest effort.
“Enjoy your evening.” Dagobert batted his eyes. “Please let me know if you need anything at all.”
“Thanks, much appreciated.” Seymour managed a polite smile.
Day hissed at Dagobert.
Dagobert scanned Seymour one last time, visibly shivered almost as if he’d sensed something, and then strolled off, fanning himself.
Seymour nudged Day’s shoulder. “Easy, lil’ girl. Everything’s all right.”
“I do not like that man.” Day pouted. “He was upsetting Sariel!”
“I appreciate your concern.” Sariel gave her a small pet. “I am perfectly fine. Do not worry.”
“If you’re sure…” Day frowned still.
“I am.”
“I can eat him.”
“I know.”
“Speaking of eating, uh, this place got food?” Seymour chuckled a bit. “That’s not, you know, people or for vampire people.”
“Yes.” Sariel glanced up as a redhead approached them. “He will provide a menu. The food here is quite delicious.”
“Do they have milk?” Day asked hopefully.
“I’ll ask, don’t worry,” Seymour promised her. “We’ll get ya’ a whole pitcher.”
“Hello! Uh, welcome to the Inferno,” the redhead said, blinking curiously at Seymour. “I’m Marcus and, uh, I’ll be taking care of you tonight!”
Huh.
Okay, this guy looked human, but…
“Vampire?” Seymour guessed. “Maybe some kinda shape-shifting gremlin?”
“Huh?” Marcus fumbled and dropped the menus. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You look human, but I know there probably ain’t no way. You okay?”
Marcus dropped to one knee to retrieve the menus. It took him several tries to pick them up. “I’m sorry! I, uh, I don’t understand the question.”
“Everybody here is a monster, right? Was tryin’ to guess which one you are. Like, what flavor. Bigfoot in disguise, Nessie’s cousin. That’s all.”
“Uh… I’m a werewolf?” Marcus said it as if he wasn’t sure, and he stared helplessly at Sariel as he stood, hugging the menus tight.
“It is all right, Marcus.” Sariel offered a small smile. “Seymour is merely curious, that’s all.”
“Right, okay.” Marcus gave an awkward thumbs-up. “I hope that, that answers his curiosity. Question. His question. Whatever he was curious about.”
Sariel held out his hand. “You can give us the menus now.”
“Yes! Right. Here you go.” Marcus grinned sheepishly. “Uh, can I start you gentlemen off with something to drink?”
“Water for me, please.”
“Whiskey. Double.” Seymour smiled at Day. “And a pitcher of milk.”
Marcus sniffed the air curiously, maybe trying to detect Day since he couldn’t see her and saw nothing but an empty chair. “I will have that out for you right away!”
“Much appreciated.”
Day tugged on Seymour’s sleeve. “Can we order now?”
“Oh, uh, like an appetizer or somethin’? You hungry?”
“Very.” Day pouted, her eyes wide and pleading. She pawed at Seymour’s arm and meowed pitifully.
She looked just like that damn cat from the ogre movie.
“Okay, okay. Let’s see what they got here.” Seymour flipped through the menu and grimaced as he read over the selection. “What the fuck is this? Fig spread on a cross-rust-ini?”
He and Day made the same retching sound in unison.
“The bacon-wrapped scallops are said to be very enjoyable,” Sariel suggested. “I imagine Day would enjoy meat based items best.”
“Yes! Those, please!” Day purred immediately.
“How many come on a plate?” Seymour asked Marcus.
“Uh…” Marcus peered over at Seymour’s open menu. “Five, sir.”
“Okay, so let’s do, like, ten of those?”
“Ten?”
“Ten!” Day cheered.
“Yes, ten, please. I know you can’t see her, but just trust me when I say we got ourselves the cutest lil’ cat girl monster right here and you do not want her to go hungry.”
Day meowed and headbutted Seymour’s shoulder, rubbing happily. “Thank you!”
Seymour chuckled and gave Day’s ear a scratch. “Don’t you worry, lil’ girl. I got you.”
“Anything else, sir?” Marcus stared again at Day’s chair. “And uh, ma’am?”
“I believe that is all for now,” Sariel said. “Thank you, Marcus.”
“All right! I will have those out for you in just a few minutes!” Marcus paused. “Well, there are ten, so maybe more than a few minutes. But very soon, I promise!”
“Much appreciated.” Seymour watched Marcus hurry off like he had a fire to put out. “You know that guy?”
“Yes.” Sariel nodded.
“Is he always wound up that tight?”
“I believe so.”
“You could stick a lump of charcoal in between his butt cheeks and get yourself a diamond.”
Sariel appeared mildly horrified. “I do not believe that is true.”
“He means he’s too tense,” Day clarified, patting Sariel’s arm.
“Oh.” Sariel blinked. “What a strange expression.”
“Certainly conjures up a real vivid image though, don’t it?” Seymour teased.
“Yes. That it does.”
“Well.” Seymour fidgeted and looked around the bar, catching several unfriendly gazes drilling right into him. “What now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone is starin’ at us.”
Day wiggled in between them with a happy meow. “Maybe it’s because you’re both so cute together.”
“I assume it is because humans are rare in monster spaces,” Sariel said. “And… as infamous as I am, I have never brought a guest here before.”
“Happy to claim a first.”
Sariel smiled shyly. “I know the circumstances are not ideal, but I am glad you are here.” He looked to the stage. “I do not usually get to watch the show, and Mr. Dubois is quite talented.”
“I’m fine with stayin’ here as long as you want. We gotta wait and see if any of those bad guy monsters show up anyway, so we might as well enjoy it.” Seymour scratched the top of Day’s head. “How about you, lil’ girl?”
Day purred. “Can I really eat anything I want?”
“As long as it’s on the menu.”
“Then yes!” Day purred louder. “I’m happy to.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll keep the food comin’.”
It was easy to lose himself in the music, watching the man sing on stage. He was aware of their food and drinks arriving, and he ordered a steak with fries for himself.
Day, in between shoving the scallops in her mouth, requested five of the same.
While Sariel placed his own order, Seymour drifted back to listening to the music.
The singer, presumably Mr. Dubois, had a beautiful voice.
And fangs, of course.
Why not?
As nice as the music was, Seymour knew that somewhere out there was magical music that could make people do only God knew what thanks to some dead dude made out of spit. He wondered if Lou and his ghostly menagerie had made any progress with figuring out what those music sheets said.
Lou was likely right in that it was nothing good, but Seymour still struggled to see what the connection was between the potentially dangerous music and stealing a robot god guy’s brain.
It also left him with more questions about his father—why did he even have that music to begin with?
Why did he keep it locked up in a closet with a talking skull?
What kind of man was Clancy really?
Yes, Seymour kept hearing what an awesome witch he was, but what did that even mean?
Had he been particularly powerful? Skilled maybe?
The only thing Seymour knew for sure was what a terrible father he was since all this magic bullshit had clearly been more important than stepping up and being a fucking parent.
Wow…
Where did that come from?
Maybe he was more bitter than he’d realized.