Chapter 20 #2
“Yeah, great.” Seymour snorted. “Killed a troll, gotta take the Faerie king to fuckin’ Wendy’s for the rest of eternity, met some magical lady who said I’m gonna die—”
“What?”
Seymour recounted the details of their recent adventures, finally concluding with a grim smile, “So, as you can see, we’ve been having just the fuckin’ best time you can imagine and now it kinda seems like we need to figure out how to get into Faerie on our own.”
“Well.” Shiloh pulled out a flask to add to his coffee. He dumped its contents all in. “I’d say that is all a heaping helping of pretty damn fucked up.” He slurped noisily. “Like, wow.”
“Do you know that Marsha girl?” Neil asked him. “You shop over at Anna’s, right?”
“Yeah, but we’re not exactly bosom buddies or anything. She’s powerful, I know that.”
“Human?”
Shiloh laughed. “Oh, definitely fucking not.”
DEFINITELY NOT
Seymour grimaced. “Great.”
“Do you know which Mostro brother she reports to?” Sariel asked curiously. “That would at least narrow down what type—”
“Oh, definitely Q. I’ve seen him up in there talking to her before.” Shiloh took a big gulp of coffee. “So, you know… Nothin’ great.”
“You mean somethin’ with, uh, tentacles?” Seymour asked.
“Look, it means she’s dangerous, okay? So, I’m sorry she gave you a weird ass reading or whatever, but I would not mess with her.” Shiloh shook his head. “Not many beings from the Other live here. Q. makes sure of it.”
Neil looked back at Shiloh, frowning. “Wait. Who else is there?”
“There’s Marsha and uh, oh, what’s his fuckin’ name.” Shiloh groaned. “Mr. Plastic.”
“Is that really his name?”
“You ever meet ’em, you’ll get it.” Shiloh lifted his mug toward Seymour. “Best thing you can do right now is keep your head down and—”
“Yeah, so—”
“—try not to die.”
“Workin’ on that.”
YOUR MORTAL BODY IS VERY SQUISHY
YOU MUST TAKE EXTRA CARE OF IT
“On it, Izba.”
“Has Mr. Morénas-Mostro shared any information that might be helpful?” Sariel asked politely. “I have attempted to contact Absolis and Vilanos, but they are, I believe the expression is, leaving me on read.”
“Nope.” Neil finished up with the flower pots and set the empty tray on the counter. “But I know they’re worried. Lou’s been out all damn night with Dagobert and everybody else.” He sighed. “Fuck, I’m worried.”
Shiloh reached over to give Neil’s shoulder a comforting squeeze.
“We’re doin’ everything we can,” Seymour said firmly. “We’ve all got a lot at stake here, okay?”
“Yeah. Of course.” Neil rubbed his eyes. “Oh! He did tell me they found more of those crystal beacon things at almost every location on that list from Talos. So, yeah, it’s… it’s pretty bad. There might be more, but they’re not sure.”
“I heard some chatter on my crystal ball this morning.” Shiloh shrugged. “Might be nothin’, but somethin’s supposed to be goin’ down at the Aquarian’s Knee.”
Seymour was going to question the crystal ball thing but instead asked, “What’s that? Is that one of y’all’s monster places?”
“Nope. I’d never heard of it.”
Sariel frowned. “Neither have I.”
“Maybe it’s, like, a code word or somethin’. Or maybe a place in Faerie?”
Shiloh scratched his beard. “Possible. I’ve been to Faerie a few times, but that place is so huge there’s no tellin’.” He eyed Seymour. “And you’re certain you heard bluebells over at the Inferno?”
“Yup,” Seymour confirmed. “I didn’t know what it was until later when we heard the crystal doodad makin’ its jingle jingle, but that’s definitely it.”
“We can head on over and look around if you want.” Shiloh finished off the last of his coffee. “If we find bluebells there, I can cast a spell that might open up a portal—”
“Okay, great!”
“Or blow us up.”
“Well, shit.”
I WANT TO GO
“Why?” Shiloh chuckled. “You wanna see me get blown up?”
YOU WERE INSINCERE ABOUT MY CUTENESS
SO YES
Shiloh laughed as he stood, grabbing a large satchel from under the counter. He picked up a Rolodex from next to the cash register. “Fine, fine, you can come.”
Neil looked worried. “Hey, Shi? Are you sure about this?”
“What? I’ll be fine!” Shiloh scoffed. “We’re just gonna take a lil’ look around, that’s all! Fuckin’ swear. Get kidnapped one time and everybody treats you like you’re made of glass.”
“I am also concerned,” Sariel said carefully. “My priority is to protect Seymour. Having an additional person, especially a human, could be a strain on my—”
“Oh, lighten up, feathers.” Shiloh clapped Sariel’s back with a hearty laugh. “I can take care of myself. Besides, I’ll have Izba with me!”
Seymour stared at the Rolodex. “Is he… coming in that?”
The letters on the topmost entry wiggled around to form new words:
YES
YES I AM
I WILL PROTECT YOU ALL
I PROMISE
Neil frowned. “Still kinda feel like I should tell Lou what you guys—”
“Go for it! Just tell your wolfy man not to wait up!” Shiloh waved, shoving the Rolodex into his satchel. He nudged Seymour. “Ready?”
“Yeah.” Seymour glanced at Sariel to confirm. “I reckon we are.” He smiled when he saw Day was playing an impromptu game of tag with Buffy. “Hey! We gotta run, kitty girl.”
Day meowed, pouting. “Can we come back?”
“After we try to save all the monsters in the city, okay?”
“Oh, of course.” Day grinned sheepishly. “Right.”
“Let’s roll. My truck is outside.” Seymour reached into his pocket to get his keys. He was wearing the new clothes from Zolrya again, and he had his phone, wallet, mysterious pouch from Marsha who may or may not have tentacles…
Huh, he really needed to see what that was—
“No, no. I’ve got this.” Shiloh grinned and pulled out a piece of thick glass, half of which was wrapped in leather cord. He drew a square in the air, grabbed the top of it even though there was nothing there to grab, and then pulled down as if shutting a window.
There was an audible thunk.
And then a click.
A rectangle of light appeared, and there was the creak of a door opening.
Shiloh gestured toward the magical doorway. “Here we go!”
Seymour stared. “Like fuckin’ hellfire I’m goin’ through that.” He pointed at it. “That could lead fuckin’ anywhere!”
Shiloh touched the bright light as if it was solid and rubbed it with his shirt sleeve. It squeaked like glass, and the light faded to reveal the dark space surrounding the Inferno. “There! Happy?”
“No, but okay… You first.”
Shiloh saluted and then stepped right through.
Seymour expected a strange sound or maybe a flash of light or glitter—something—but there was nothing. He scooped Day up on his shoulder and grabbed Sariel’s hand. He nodded farewell at Neil. “Take care, Neil. Be seein’ you.”
“Be careful,” Neil said with a strained smile. “Try not to get eaten by faeries or whatever.”
NO GOODBYE FOR ME?
HOW DARE
“Huh?” Seymour gawked. “Aren’t you in the damn rolly thingie in Shiloh’s bag?”
YES
BUT ALSO HERE
I AM EVERYWHERE
“Okie dokie.” Seymour shook his head, hoping his laughter didn’t sound too nervous as Sariel led him through the doorway. It was as effortless as passing through any ordinary door, though it shut with a distinct click once they were through.
Not creepy or foreboding at all.
Shiloh was ahead of them, wandering through the darkness and sniffing the air. He pawed at the space in front of him, sniffed it, and licked his hand.
Day tilted her head. “What is he doing?”
“Good question,” Seymour mumbled. He tugged on Sariel’s hand. “What is he doing?”
“Mr. Ricci,” Sariel called out. “We wish to know what you’re doing.”
“Looking for faeries. Duh.” Shiloh kept moving ahead, deeper into the darkness.
“A field of bluebells would be great, but sometimes you gotta get a lil’ creative.
It could be real subtle. Like the smell of birthday cake or forest right after it rains.
Maybe your favorite tea, hot off the stove, or—” He paused suddenly.
“Ah, here we go.” He threw something into the air, and there was light above them from a small orb.
It illuminated an odd crack in the ground where indeed there were a few small bluish purple flowers sprouting up.
Bluebells.
“I’d say that’s a ditch of ’em, but whatever works,” Seymour noted. “Is this it? Was I right?”
“Faerie definitely opened here,” Shiloh replied. “But these kinda things are usually a one-way street. Getting them to open in the other direction can be a bit tricky.” He pointed at the crack and raised his hand.
The crack, flowers and all, came up from the ground to hover in the air before them.
“This looks messy,” Shiloh went on. “Like somebody was in a big hurry to get out.” His fingers twitched, the crack shuddered, and nothing else happened. “All right, one second.” He dug around in his satchel. “Here, hold this.”
Seymour found himself holding a very chatty Rolodex.
IT’S DARK HERE
I DO NOT LIKE IT
“Scared of the dark?” Seymour teased. “Aw, poor lil’ scaredy-shop.”
MOCK ME AGAIN AND I WILL CRUSH YOU
“Do not mock him,” Sariel said urgently.
“My bad, Izba.” Seymour didn’t want to know how a talking flower shop who was also a talking Rolodex would crush him, but he wasn’t going to ignore Sariel’s obvious concern.
Shiloh was busy pulling more items out of his seemingly endless bag.
A bottle of purple liquid.
A rubber chicken.
A black vinyl bra.
He tried using each one, but nothing appeared to be happening.
“Care to share with the rest of the class what you’re doing?” Seymour asked.
“Okay, so, someone definitely came through from Faerie here. They also went back this way.” Shiloh gestured at the crack. “It’s sealed up tight as shit. I usually got my ways for, you know, sneakin’ in, but none of them are working.”
Seymour got his keys out. “Uh, so… this may be a fuckin’ stretch, but—”
“Son of a bitch!” Shiloh cackled. “Clancy’s key!”
Seymour blinked. “You know what this is?”