Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Raffe
Ilook away for one second, and she disappears.
“Come on, Papa,” Aspen says, trying to pull my arm off.
My defeated sigh makes her smile. The tiny turd knows she has me wrapped around her little finger. “Fine. Let’s go find a blanket.”
She does a little stomping dance in celebration before hurrying into the other room. She must know where she’s going. By the time I catch up, she’s already lying on Jenny’s bed.
I hover in the doorway. “We’re going to nap on the couch, baby. Come here.” I wave her toward me.
Aspen just settles in further, slipping under the covers.
Hesitantly, I enter the room, keeping my attention on the blanket at the foot of the bed. I pick it up. “Come on, sweetheart.”
She giggles and pulls the comforter over her head.
My gaze slides around the space, stopping abruptly on a photo on Jenny’s bedside table. The room begins to spin, and I have to slowly lower myself to the mattress. A sob escapes me.
Aspen instantly shoves the covers down, crawling to me. “Papa sad?” Her arms wrap around my neck as she hugs me from behind, balancing herself on the bedding.
I pat her little hands. “Papa is sad, but I’m happy too.”
She notices the photo and scrambles over to it, picking it up with no hesitation.
I try to take it from her, so she doesn’t break it, but she turns her back to me.
“This Daddy.” She points to Jackson, and then her tiny finger goes to me.
“Papa.” When her finger lands over Rachel, she smiles wide. “And Gamma.”
I take it from her, choking back tears. “Yeah, that’s your angel grandma.”
She nods, running her finger under her nose, staring at me for a moment like she’s trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. “Papa needs a nap,” she says somberly, and it makes me chuckle.
“I think you might be right.”
Aspen resumes her original position on Jenny’s bed, patting the spot beside her.
I kick my boots off and hesitantly lie down.
She instantly curls to my side like a little kitten.
I try to keep my mind on the ceiling fan above us, watching the blades spin round and round.
Unfortunately, I also have to breathe, and with each inhale I feel myself becoming more and more addicted to the woman who lives here. I guess I’ve always been an addict.
When Aspen’s soft snores interrupt my thoughts, I tell myself I should get up and leave the room, but that’s not what I do. I turn my face into the pillow and inhale slowly. Jenny’s scent wafts from the linen. It’s comforting and familiar, while at the same time new and exciting.
My mind goes back to my conversation with Dirk. Of course he was right. He’s always right. Seeing her for the first time again has seared itself deep into my soul.
I wrap my arm over my granddaughter and close my eyes. I hope Jenny won’t mind we’re on her bed. I’m sure it’s okay. I’ll just close my eyes for a minute or two.
When I wake, Jenny is kneeling at the foot of the bed and Aspen is crawling to her. She sits on the mattress, pulling our granddaughter onto her lap, and then she brushes her wild curls out of her face. “Did you have a good sleep?” she asks quietly.
Aspen rubs her eyes, yawns big, and then nods her head.
“Good. You want to help Nana and Mama make supper?”
This bit of news has Aspen jumping off of Jenny’s lap. “Mama!” she squeals excitedly as her little feet pad out of the room.
I chuckle and Jenny turns at the sound, her gaze falling to the picture frame I’m still hugging.
“I’m sorry. I hope we didn’t wake you,” she says shyly.
“Fuck,” I whisper, sitting up and quickly returning it to her nightstand.
“Aspen has a lot of energy,” Jenny continues.
I appreciate her attempt to ease my embarrassment. It seems she’s been doing a lot of that since I’ve arrived.
“Yeah.” I run my hands over my face, struggling with my normal brain fog. “She’s a lot like her daddy used to be.”
Jenny shifts on the bed, but she doesn’t leave. “Finding the two of you in here might have been the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”
It makes me laugh, and I finally find the courage to face her. “Sometimes I wonder if the universe didn’t schedule our afternoon naps just to give me a chance at a little sleep.”
Her brows pull together. “Do you have a hard time sleeping at night?”
“Yeah.” I turn away from her. “But that’s not anything new. It’s been that way most of my life.”
She makes a humming noise and stands. “I better go help Willow with supper. The guys are probably getting pretty hungry out there.”
I run my hand over my head. “Yeah. Hey, I’m sorry about napping in your bed. Aspen kind of insisted.”
Her soft chuckle eases my anxiety. “No worries.” She pauses and looks at me over her shoulder. “You are staying for supper too, aren’t you?”
“Do you want me to stay?”
Jenny’s gaze bounces over the photo on her nightstand before returning to me. “I would love for you to join us.”
“Okay, then. I will.”
“Do you want to?”
I look at the photo of Rachel, and her words echo in my mind. Don’t stop living yours.
“I would love to stay,” I say more confidently than I’ve felt in a long time.
A slow, shy smile spreads across her face, and suddenly the girl who stood by my motorbike at age thirteen is standing in front of me.
“Do you want a ride?” I ask the new girl in town. She’s standing on the corner waiting for the bus to take her home from school.
She looks behind her. When she doesn’t find anyone, she spins back around. “Me?”
“Yeah you.” I laugh because I don’t know why she’s surprised. She’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
“Oh, I don’t know. Do you have a license to drive that thing?”
I look down at my dirt bike and pat the handlebars proudly. It was a birthday present from my parents. “It’s definitely not street legal, and neither am I.”
The way her cheeks turn a shade of pink makes me feel something strange, and I shift on the seat. She tucks a lock of her long hair behind her ear. “That makes you both sound a little dangerous.”
“Naw, I’ll keep all three of us upright. I promise.”
She giggles, and it pulls at something in my chest. I want to make her do it again.
“So, do you want a ride or not?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Jenny laughs, bringing me back to the present moment. Her voice has changed, matured. It’s soft and sultry. I like it. My gaze roams down her frame, and she shivers in its wake. Seems I still have some sort of effect on her.
That’s good. That’s really good.
When I stand, I wink at her. “I’ll be out in a minute. I just need to straighten up the bedding.”
Her cheeks turn redder than I’ve ever seen, and she spins away from me, visibly flustered. “Okay, yeah, um, I’ll just, yeah, I’ll go.”
I watch as she scurries away.
My eyes connect with Rachel’s as I round the bed, smoothing out the blankets. “I hope you’re really okay with this, because now that I’ve seen her, I’m never letting her go.”
When I round the corner, and my eyes take in the scene before me, I’m even more certain that I’ll never let her hide from me again.
I lean against the wall watching my daughter-in-law, granddaughter, and Jenny dance around the kitchen to the radio. It’s playing an old fifties tune. All three of them have a smile on their face. I am a rich man indeed.
I’ve seen this in a dream before, except it was Rachel, not Jenny, in the kitchen with them. It hurts my heart, but that wasn’t the way it was meant to be. I don’t claim to understand how the universe works. Maybe I should take Jackson’s stance and just accept things as they are.
Willow lifts her eyes to mine, and we have a silent conversation as she dumps a cup of chocolate chips into the bowl Aspen is currently stirring. So many things had to happen to lead us to this very moment. Some good, some bad, but all necessary.
I walk into the kitchen and whistle. “It sure does smell good in here.”
Aspen swats my hand when I stick my finger into the cookie dough. “No, Papa,” she scolds me, her little brows pulling together.
“You tell him,” Jenny says over her shoulder.
I step behind her. “Hey, now. Don’t you girls be ganging up on me.” I give her a slight tap on the bottom before walking out the back door to see how the guys are doing on the repairs.