Chapter 58
fifty-eight
Jeremy
Ididn’t expect to see you here.”
I didn’t think it would be this hard to see Tristyn. I guess there’s a part of me that thought I’d be stronger, but seeing the look in her eyes, seeing the lack of sleep growing under them, hurts.
Loving her hurts.
“Officer Russo called me,” I whisper. “I had to come down and see it for myself.”
“Yeah.” Her eyes fall to her feet. “I think they’re looking for Andrew now. But I don’t know.”
“Why did you do this?” I take a step forward, forcing her to look at me. “I wasn’t going to—”
“I know.” She cuts me off. “I know you’d never do that. I know you’d never ask me to do it either.”
“Then why?”
“Because even if you don’t believe me, I love you. I love you so much, and I hate myself for any pain that I’ve caused you.”
Tristyn sniffles and takes a step forward. Her arms move just slightly, as if she were ready to reach for me, and then decided against it.
“You were right that night. I should’ve known I could trust you.
I should’ve just been honest and faced the consequences right then because keeping it from you was only going to end in heartbreak.
” She bites her lip. “Which it did, and I’m so sorry.
You deserve so much better, and even if you don’t care about getting justice for that night, I do. You deserve it.”
“Even if you have to face consequences for something that wasn’t your fault?”
“I could’ve done more.”
“Could you?”
“It doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head. “It’s done.”
Our corner of the station falls silent. I wish I could hate her, but I can’t. I don’t.
I didn’t understand why she didn’t tell me. I thought she couldn’t trust me, even though I had done everything in my power to show her she could.
Dr. Nelson made me realize it wasn’t about me at all.
“I don’t think it was an accident.” Tristyn’s voice is soft as she fiddles her fingers together. “I don’t think it was some weird fucking coincidence that you were both on that road that night.”
My brows furrow.
“I didn’t know you knew each other,” she continues. “If I did, maybe, maybe I would’ve come forward sooner.”
“Why?”
“Because Andrew had me convinced that Henry was going to lose both of his parents for an accident. That he’d go to jail for driving while intoxicated and they’d take me down with him since I knew he had been drinking.”
Tristyn rocks back on her heels, clasping her hands behind her back.
“If I knew that you knew each other, I would’ve realized sooner that his guilt from that night was bullshit.
He was rambling on and on that night, and I just thought it was nonsense because he had been drinking.
He was talking about hockey and things being taken from him.
” Her face softens. “From what you told me, you knew not long before your accident that you were going to play in the NHL instead of finishing out your senior year.”
“Fuck.” The word falls off my lips.
He knew. I don’t know how he found out that I was going to play for the Panthers before I got to tell the guys, but he knew. And he knew where I’d be.
I don’t know if she was part of his sick plan because he knew he could scare her into lying for him if he needed to, but knowing that my accident might not have been an accident at all is a punch to the gut.
“I’m sorry. Maybe if I didn’t get in the car that night—”
“No.” I cut her off. “Who knows what would’ve happened to Henry if you didn’t go with them. It could’ve been them in that ditch.”
“Jeremy.” Officer Russo rounds the corner. “I didn’t realize you were here. You really shouldn’t be talking—”
“We know each other.”
“Oh.” He looks between us. “Oh.”
The realization hits, and I don’t blame him for not knowing what to do next.
“Um, we should still separate the two of you. It could compromise the investigation.” Officer Russo motions toward a room across the station. “We’ll talk in here.”
I glance at Tristyn one more time before following Officer Russo into the room.
Her eyes are still on mine as the door shuts.
Holy shit.” Maia drops the fries off at the table and then joins Ember and Avalon.
Brin couldn’t make it, and I truly have no idea where Tate is, but I felt like they could give me a perspective the guys couldn’t.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t even know how I’d react to that.” Ember grabs a French fry. “I thought what happened with Declan was bad, but—”
“It’s not like she wanted to lie to him,” Avalon argues. “Honestly, if I were in her shoes, I don’t know if I would’ve been strong enough to tell you the truth.”
“Really?”
“When I met Zeke and then started to fall in love with him, I started to finally understand what it meant to have a family,” Avalon begins.
“Like, yeah, I had Jay, but I had a mom who was supposed to choose me and didn’t.
So, when I met Zeke, and he chose me day after day, and then I met his friends, who also chose me day after day, I finally understood what having a real family meant.
I wouldn’t have given that up for the world.
All she’s had since she was like sixteen was Vince and Henry. Until you. Until us.”
“You would be able to keep that from him?” Maia asks.
“I don’t know. Maybe not. Maybe I’d work up the courage to tell him, but maybe I’d be too scared to lose what we built.”
“But wouldn’t everything be built on a lie?” Ember crosses her arms. “I’m not saying he can’t forgive her, I forgave Declan, so obviously I believe in that, but—”
“I don’t think it was. She didn’t know. It’s not like she was some weirdo who sought him out and knew from the beginning that he was in the other car.”
“You know what,” Ember takes a sip of her milkshake, “I agree with Avalon. She didn’t know from the beginning, so it was all real. I don’t think it’ll be easy to move forward, but I don’t think it’s smart to stay stuck on the past.”
“Maia?” I turn to Maia, who is just taking this all in.
“I don’t know if I’m the best person to ask.” She chuckles. “I still have a lot of unresolved issues from my last relationship.”
“Maybe if you talked to him,” Ember begins, and Maia scowls at her.
“Not going to happen. I plan to just yap my therapist’s ear off about it until I eventually move on.”
“That seems like a really healthy decision.” Ember wraps an arm around her.
“Talking it out constantly actually does help. I’ve probably told Dr. Nelson the same thing a million times.”
“You’re in therapy?” Ember raises a brow.
“Yeah.” I smile. “It’s recent, but it’s been really helpful. Not just with my current situation, but with helping me move on from what I could’ve had with hockey and looking toward what I still could have.”
“That’s really great, Jere.”
The bell rings above the door, and Tate rushes in.
“Sorry, I’m late. I got stuck in a mid-term.” Tate scoots into the booth next to me, and we all take in her appearance. “What?”
“You wore your shirt inside out and backward to your midterm?” Avalon’s eyebrows knit together.
“What?” Tate looks down at her shirt and licks her lips. “I was really tired when I was getting ready this morning, so—”
“Tatum Lewis.” Ember’s head tilts to the side. “Please tell me you’re not sleeping with Fletcher.”
My eyes widen. I don’t know why I didn’t even think about that. It’s like these girls have some weird sixth sense or something.
“What?” Tate repeats, but her voice is about three octaves higher. “I would, I mean, why you would, I—Okay, it only happened once.”
The girls shift in their seats, arms crossed, and eyebrows raised.
“Okay, maybe twice.”
“Yeah, maybe twice today,” Maia adds.
“No, twice total.” Tate scratches her lip. “Maybe three times. But today was the last time, we promised.”
“And you didn’t make the promise the first two times?” I ask, and Tate stays silent.
“That’s what we thought.”
“You know what, we aren’t here to talk about me.” Tate turns toward me in the booth. “What’s going on with you?”
“Oh, girl.” Avalon shakes her head. “You’re in for a rollercoaster of a conversation.”
“Really?” I don’t know if I should be offended by how excited Tate is to hear my dilemma.
“Really.” Maia smiles.
“Starting with the fact that Andrew O’Connell,” Ember begins, leaning forward, “is Henry’s dad.”
Tate smacks my arm, jumping out of her seat.
“Shut the fuck up!”