Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
P rior to Grace, my life as a rock star had been full of debauchery, with one-night stands, lewd, often public sex acts and propositions, but the man I’d become was so far removed from the carefree risk-taker I had been back then.
Subsequently, I was drowning in responsibility; a broken man, perhaps beyond repair. With Harper testing my position, I found myself less forceful and more reluctant to make a decision about how to respond to her advances.
Reaching over, I tapped the light on the nightstand and stood up naked off the bed. Harper’s eyes flew to mine then down my body. Her eyes widened. “Up. Get the fuck off the bed, now.”
Sitting curled up in my bed in a tiny pale pink tank, her hard nipples visible; and some short pajama bottoms, she looked paralyzed by my reaction. When she didn’t move, I strode around the bed and dragged her to her feet by her wrist and made for the door. “What the fuck…” No matter how appealing she looked, I wasn’t fucking her in my bed.
Fueled by anger and conflicting feelings, I pulled Harper down the hall. Her long hair whipped from side to side in her silent struggle as we passed by Layla’s room. Opening Harper’s bedroom door, I swung her roughly inside, closed the door softly behind me, and shoved her crudely down on her bed. Determined to keep the upper hand, I caged her to her mattress with all of my limbs. Her breath hitched, and her eyes filled with fire.
“You’re determined not to take no for an answer?” My question was laced with a mixture of frustration and anger as I shook the mattress beneath her, bouncing her on the bed.
“You want this as much as I do,” she spat back, her eyes ablaze with the same sass I’d witnessed before when she’d almost pushed me too far. Placing her hands on my sides, she forcefully pulled me closer. I landed heavily on top of her and she let out a grunt.
My taut, ready body lay against her soft heaving chest, down her whole front actually, and I felt myself weaken when my cheek brushed softly against hers. Leaning up on my forearms, my felt my cock grow thicker as I watched her staring back in defiance. My restraint… disintegrated.
For a few long drawn out seconds, our powerful gaze turned to unbridled desire as the weight of her stare tipped the balance. My ragged labored breaths masked her more rapid breathy ones as our next move depended on her.
My gaze warned her, ‘Don’t,’ my primed and wanton body asked, ‘Why not?’ If I had to trust anyone to open my heart to, Harper would be the one… then I reminded myself I’d already had ‘the one’ and look how that had turned out.
Lighting doesn’t strike twice in the same place—mostly anyway, I told myself. Then again, the chances of it striking at all were slim at best. Yet it had struck… and we’d crashed and burned. Pushing those thoughts from my mind, I intensified my gaze, and the longer I searched into her soul, the more I feared this was a mistake.
Despite all my reservations, my indecision turned to dust as my need for female attention and my blistering lust for Harper took over.
Suddenly the waiting was done, and I couldn’t wait to touch her any longer. I surprised myself by how tenderly I smoothed down her hair and carefully cupped her head in the palms of my hands before my lips took hers in a punishing kiss. She kissed me back with as much passion as I gave—harder in fact— biting my lip and sucking greedily at my mouth,
Feeling her sense of urgency as she took what she needed from her frantic first real taste of me stoked my desire all the more. Surprisingly, Harper wasn’t afraid of the chance we were taking and felt every bit as confident in her actions as she was with her words. There was no holding back.
“Oh,” she let out on a moan and the soft seductive sound vibrated into my mouth as her hands threaded through my hair and gripped it possessively. It undid me, and my hands swept into her hair, pulling several low growls of satisfaction from her throat.
“Mm,” I murmured, my reluctant response to the pleasurable pain she spurred within me. She set me on fire as she touched me gently in all the right places that left me weak to resist and determined to satisfy the rising passion within her.
I became aware of my weight pressed heavily against her and rolled her onto my chest. My hands found her shorts waistband, and I slid one inside.
Groping a large handful of her smooth silky flesh made my pulse kick up a notch, and my eager cock pulsed in reaction. It was a simple move, but I’d fantasized about grabbing her ass since the first day I’d seen her doing those sexy yoga moves that had taunted me.
Pulling her hair back, I stared up at her in the dark, silent room and slid my middle finger farther round and into her warm wet folds. She was barely visible in the dark, and apart from our excited exchange of breaths, we stalled, in limbo.
Harper placed her forehead on mine. “Don’t think, feel,” she whispered, her hot breath fanning my face as she leaned forward and kissed the corner of my mouth. Aroused beyond measure, I yanked her hair back up again and gazed intently into her eyes, as love and hate warred inside me. Every cell I possessed screamed at me to forget the past and act.
I’d already passed the point of no return when I had made the conscious decision to remove her from my bed, because my subconscious mind knew how this would end, but not in my marital bed.
Until then I had never expected to feel this level of intimacy for anyone other than Grace. My thick hard cock strained in desperation. The undeniable want in me dripped from my slit as precum prepared my body to betray my tormented mind.
Taking my hand out of her shorts, I moved both to the bottom of her tank top, grasped the hem and slid it up and off her body. At the same time, I rolled her over onto her back again and covered a dark-pink pebbled nipple with my mouth. Harper gasped with the greedy suck I took. “Oh God,” she said through a breath at the long awaited contact followed by, “Jesus,” in reaction to the small sharp bite I couldn’t resist.
Seconds later, I stripped her down, tearing the pajama shorts roughly down her legs, and tossing them over my shoulder.
As soon as my mental barriers fell, my hands trailed from her thighs back up over her breasts and I stilled when the sight of her totally naked took my breath away. God she’s beautiful . I took more than a few rapid heartbeats to appreciate her as she wrapped her hand around my thick girth, gazed up at me with eyes full of lust, and gave it a firm squeeze.
“Fuck.”
The relief I felt at her touch was immeasurable and the sudden pang of desire which shot through me made my cock strain harder in her hand. I leaned over her body on all fours, she stroked steadily at my dick as I swept her long dark hair over her shoulder revealing the pale creamy skin on her neck.
For a split second I hated how my weak, wanton body deceived my hurt and damaged mind, until Harper’s soft breathy moans demanded my undivided focus on pleasuring her.
“Mm,” she murmured as my hand slid down her ribs, across her hip, and between her legs. She shivered in reaction before they spread wide and willingly, and my fingers found her hard swollen clit and her soaking wet seam. “Oh, Cole,” she murmured in a breathy tone.
Squeezing my hand between her ass and the mattress, I pressed her closer as anticipation and want riddled my whole body with a vibratory hum of coiled restraint. “Fuck, look at you,” I cussed, taking her in, desperate for more. Spreading her long, toned legs wider, Harper wrapped them around my back and pulled my body down on hers .
My hard, throbbing cock nestled along her soaking seam, her desire coating it with her wet, warm nectar, and nothing in this world could have prevented me from grinding urgently against it. It felt like Heaven and Hell, just like she was light to my dark, then the dam within me broke.
Elbowing my way down the bed until my knees hit the floor, I moved my straining arms around her thighs and dragged her swiftly down the bed. She yelped in surprise, “Ah,” before I positioned her so that her gorgeous little ass hung free of the mattress.
Palming her globes in each hand, I glanced up at her face. “Look at me,” I commanded as I tilted her warm wet pussy up to my mouth and held it poised there for a second. Harper’s pulse beat wildly in her belly as her body hummed with need, and it drew a smile from my lips to see how much I affected her.
Ducking my head between her legs, I closed my eyes, and breathing slowly through my nose, inhaled deeply, savoring the moment. Opening them again, I fingered gingerly at her beautiful pink folds, noting how bare and smooth she was, and then at how perfectly her outer lips parted and displayed her intimate wet warm flesh inside.
Sliding my cheeks up her silky thighs, I held her gaze and blew on her white-hot heat. A tremor of anticipation thrummed in her tight fleshy thighs, and I swiped her clit once with my tongue, catching a first taste as I eyed her reaction and basked in her response.
Harper’s lust-filled eyes rolled back in her head as she dropped off her elbows and fell backward into the mattress. I hadn’t performed oral sex on any woman since Grace, and I felt strangely emotional when a soft “Oh,” fell from her mouth.
For many men, oral sex was par for the course, something they did frequently, but for me it was reserved for the handful of women who mattered. I’d always known Harper mattered to me, but when I performed the intimate act on her I ignored the frightening realization she could easily matter even more.
Harper looked beautifully vulnerable as she came around my fingers, and on my tongue; my head clamped between her legs as they shook uncontrollably. Pinning her lower limbs almost too tightly, I held her in place and continued to pleasure her. She began to scream when it all became too much and I clamped my hand over her mouth in my effort to muffle the sounds.
From my perspective I hadn’t even started with what I could have done to her, but as she caught her breath and climbed back up onto her bed I lay on my back beside her.
“Damn,” she muttered in a tired gruff voice, and I chuckled.
“I know, right?” I agreed, stretching my jaw left and right to ease the cramp.
Scooting down the bed, she grabbed my dick in her fist and covered the tip with her mouth. I felt too desperate for relief to resist her.
Tightening her grip on my cock, she took me deeper; her teeth grazing the underside of my dick and I immediately fisted her hair. “Oh, God,” I muttered as shivers of delight passed through my body and I began setting the pace by tugging on her hair as her head bobbed up and down. In mere minutes I began fucking her mouth, chasing my release.
Rolling her over onto her back, I stood off the bed and fucked her mouth faster, “Grr, fuck,” I grunted loudly until her throat relaxed, and I bottomed out. With my cock squeezed tight, I stilled. I almost came right in that moment, but I breathed deeply and held it there for a few seconds. “Fuuuuuuuck.”
Feeling my cock deep in her throat, on the edge of orgasm was almost overwhelming. Choking, she tapped my leg, and I looked down at her watery eyes and I let her go. Harper gave a small cough then gasped loudly as she came up for air.
With her still on her back, I took her hands and placed them on her tits, pushed them together and slid my long, swollen cock between them. As the pressure of my release built rapidly inside, I fucked her enveloping flesh, gritted my teeth, and I chased my release. When the sudden lightheaded wave of ecstasy rushed through me, my heart immediately slowed to a strong and healthy beat and I spilled my seed on her neck and hair.
Afterward, she rose on one elbow, smiled in her post orgasmic haze and stared at me pointedly; like she expected me to comment. Nothing came to the forefront from the sudden chaotic thoughts in my mind .
When I had nothing to say, Harper rolled away from me and rose off the bed before quietly going into her bathroom. Seconds later I heard the shower water running and her sudden change of pace gave me time to think.
Fooling around was one thing, fucking her when I was leaving wasn’t how I rolled, no matter how much either of us would have wanted to do it. I’d been weak, jumping off the fence for one night, but the last thing I had been willing to do was fuck her and run.
Lying in her room suddenly felt all kinds of wrong, and when I heard the shower start, I remembered I’d come on her hair. I quickly got off her bed, left her room and went back to mine before I changed my mind.
After cleaning myself off, I slid between my sheets and fortunately in the aftermath of my orgasm, I quickly passed out.