Chapter 24
HALLE
As I curled up on the daybed by the pool with my iPad, I tried to think about what to add as the final song for yesterday’s playlist.
I’d already chosen ‘Stargazing’ by Myles Smith (obviously – I freaking loved him), ‘Sky Full of Stars’ by Coldplay, ‘All the Stars’ by Kendrick Lamar and SZA and ‘Counting Stars’ by OneRepublic. But I couldn’t decide between ‘Waiting for a Star to Fall’ by Boy Meets Girl or ‘Stars’ by Simply Red.
Sod it. I was adding both.
They were classics and I knew Jake would appreciate a bit of eighties and nineties music mixed in with the more recent tracks.
Last night was actually really romantic. I loved gazing at the stars with Jake beside me. So I wanted the playlist to reflect that.
Just as I was clicking the add to playlist button, a gorgeous scent hit my nostrils. My head snapped up and…
Oh. My. God.
It wasn’t just Jake standing in front of me.
It was the version of him that I’d been trying to avoid for days: Shirtless Jake.
As my eyes scanned him from his broad shoulders, down his muscular chest, continuing south to take in the sight of his six-pack, I swallowed hard.
His body was even more incredible than I’d imagined.
Apart from that BUTT-RRR ad, Jake hadn’t done many endorsements that I could remember, so there were no billboards of him advertising underwear. Which meant this was the first time I’d been treated to this delicious view. Thank God I was wearing my sunglasses so he couldn’t see me gawping.
‘H-hey,’ I stuttered, quickly lifting my gaze back up to his face.
‘Hey!’ He smiled and yep, there went that pesky stomach fluttering again. ‘Thought I’d find you here. What you doing?’
‘Yesterday’s playlist. Speaking of which, we’ve been here six days now if you include when we arrived on Saturday, and I haven’t received a single playlist from you. Am I worth so little of your thoughts that you can’t be bothered to make the effort?’
It wouldn’t be the first time.
‘No!’ Jake said quickly, concern etched on his face. ‘Sorry. It’s not about you. It’s a me thing.’
‘Care to elaborate?’
Jake was silent for several beats, then rubbed the back of his neck.
‘Do you have time for a walk?’ His shoulders sagged.
‘Yeah. Our activity isn’t until this evening, so I’ve got loads of time.’
We headed to the beach and walked together in silence. The only sounds were the waves rippling against the shore and the birds squawking in the sky.
I considered filling it, but then realised that Jake must be trying to psyche himself up to talk, so thought I’d let him do that at his own pace.
‘Music is…’ He paused for so long I was half expecting him to abandon the conversation altogether.
‘Music has always been important to me. It’s not an exaggeration to say that it was my life.
It was something I always loved growing up and then when I got into the band, I thought all of my dreams had come true.
But it was hell, which is a whole different story. ’
‘Okay,’ I nodded, encouraging him to continue.
‘My solo career was better. After the dictatorship of being part of a boyband, where everything we did, including what we wore, what we said, how many hours we were allowed to sleep, what we ate and how often we got to see our family and friends was decided by other people, I knew I needed to do things on my terms, like writing my own songs, which I did. But then everything came crashing down when… something terrible happened and I also discovered that my accountant screwed me over, so financially I was fucked.’
‘Shit.’ My eyes widened with shock.
‘With everything that was going on, the last thing I could think about was making music. Eventually my label dropped me which didn’t help with the debts that were stacking up.
Oh, and on top of that, my girlfriend sold stories to the tabloids.
Now I can’t even listen to music, let alone write it, so the thought of making playlists is pretty much my idea of hell. ’
Whoa.
I wasn’t expecting that to be his explanation.
That was a lot to unpack. I didn’t even know where to start.
Although I wanted to know more, especially about what the ‘terrible’ thing was, I realised that if he’d wanted to go into detail, he would’ve said what it was like he had with the other stuff.
‘Jake… I’m… I’m so sorry. That’s horrendous. Just dealing with one of those things would be a lot, but all of them together? It’s a miracle that you’re still able to function.’
‘Yep. Sometimes I can’t even do it at all.’
‘I’m not surprised. I’m sorry I hassled you about the playlists.’
‘You didn’t know. I saw the songs you sent through, which I appreciated. I just didn’t play them. And I couldn’t make my own.’
‘I’ll stop sending you mine. I didn’t realise it would be triggering for you. Is that why…’ I paused, wondering whether or not I should ask the question that I wanted to.
‘Is that why, what?’ He looked at me.
‘On the coach… is that why you were anxious when they played your song?’
Jake’s face fell and I instantly regretted bringing it up.
‘Partly. But mainly because I wrote that for someone who broke my heart. So every time I hear it, it reminds me of how fucking stupid I was.’
‘Was it the same woman who you just said sold stories on you?’
‘Yep. I started seeing personal stuff turning up in the press. At first it was little things that maybe multiple people in my circle might know, so it wasn’t immediately obvious that it was her.
But then I noticed that the paps always knew where we’d be.
And even if we were going somewhere low-key, she’d always get dressed up.
I mentioned that it was strange, but she’d always say they’d just followed us. ’
‘So how did you find out?’
‘I laid a trap. I told her I was going to be somewhere. She was the only person I mentioned it to and sure enough, half an hour later, the paps miraculously showed up. And I made up a story and again and told her that I’d shared it with a few other people in my circle, but I hadn’t – she was the only person I told. ’
‘And did it turn up in the press?’
‘Yep. So that’s how I knew for sure.’
‘Shit. I’m so sorry.’
‘Thanks. It hurt, because I really thought she was the real deal. Turned out she was just using me to launch her singing career. She figured the more we got papped together, the more it raised her profile. She was a social climber. Now she’s dating one of the execs from my old record label.’
‘Fuck.’ Seeing the sadness in Jake’s eyes was like a punch in the stomach.
Without even thinking, I threw my arms around him. Just as I was about to pull away, convinced that I’d overstepped, Jake’s arms snaked around my back and he held me tighter.
Every atom in my body came to life. My pulse spiked. My heart raced. My brain scrambled.
There were so many sensations flooding my body I could barely breathe.
Feeling Jake’s heartbeat and his warm muscular chest pressed against mine was incredible. I rested my head on his shoulder and decided that I could happily stay like this forever.
I wanted to tell him again how sorry I was for everything he’d been through, but I couldn’t even speak.
Jake moved and I was literally about to beg him not to end it so soon, but instead of breaking the hug, he readjusted his arms around me and pulled me in closer.
We stayed like that for what must’ve been several minutes. However long it was, it wasn’t long enough.
Eventually, Jake unclasped his arms from around me and drew back. As his eyes met mine, my breath hitched in my throat.
Tingles raced down my spine and a bolt of desire shot straight to my core.
God, I wanted him to kiss me so much right now.
Jake reached up and brushed his thumb gently over my cheek, setting my blood on fire.
This was crazy.
Never in my life has a man had such an effect on me just by simply touching my face and looking at me.
‘Thank you,’ he said softly.
‘For what?’ I said breathlessly, keeping my eyes fixed to his.
‘For listening. For the hug.’
His thumb continued brushing my cheek before moving towards my mouth.
When he traced my bottom lip, a moan slipped out and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Shit. I swear Jake could make me come just with his hands.
I supposed I shouldn’t be surprised considering the fact that it’d been years since I’d been properly touched by a man.
‘Y-you’re welcome,’ I stuttered. When I flicked my eyes open, Jake’s gaze was still fixed on me so firmly, he could probably see inside my soul.
Ordinarily, that’d make me feel flustered, but somehow I felt at ease.
‘You’re really beautiful,’ Jake whispered and I blinked rapidly, trying to process his words. My toxic inner voice warned me not to fall for another smooth talker, but my gut told me he was genuine.
‘Thanks,’ I said, softly. ‘So are you.’
Jake’s face inched forward slowly.
He was now so close I could feel his sweet, warm breath tickling my lips.
There were a million reasons I shouldn’t want him to kiss me, but it was like his mouth was a magnet and my lips were metal.
I told myself to pull away, but I was drawn to him with such intensity that there was no way I could stop the inevitable.
Just as our mouths were about to collide, an ear-piercing shriek filled the air.
‘Help!’
We both sprang back and spun around.
‘Sounded like it’s coming from the sea!’ Jake jumped up and sprinted towards the ocean. I ran after him.
Kayla, one of the guests, was flapping around in the water frantically.
Jake launched himself into the sea and swam towards her. I followed him in and it was only when we got closer that I paused.
The water wasn’t deep as she was still close to shore, so she wasn’t in any danger of drowning.
Shit. Maybe it was her match, who I think was called Greg, that was underwater?
‘You okay?’ Jake said as he reached her. ‘What happened?’
‘It’s my phone!’ she shrieked. ‘I was trying to take a selfie and I dropped it!’
The woman started sobbing like a baby who hadn’t eaten, slept or had its nappy changed for hours.
‘You lost your phone?’ Jake frowned, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘That’s why you screamed for help?’
‘Yes!’ she snapped. ‘What am I going to do?’
Jake looked at me and mouthed what the fuck whilst I fought the urge to laugh.
‘Well, I can see that this is very important to you and obviously it’ll be impossible for you to survive without your cell…’ he said.
‘Exactly!’ Kayla nodded, clearly oblivious to the hint of sarcasm in Jake’s tone.
‘So let me see if I can find it for you. Okay?’
‘Okay,’ she said, her sobs immediately subsiding.
Jake dove under the water. As the seconds ticked by, I grew increasingly concerned. I couldn’t believe he was actually risking his life, just so this woman could find her phone.
When his head bobbed up above water again, relief flooded my veins. I knew the water wasn’t deep enough for him to drown, but that didn’t mean that staying under water for too long wasn’t dangerous.
‘Still looking!’ he said before ducking back under again.
About thirty seconds later (yes, I counted, just in case), he reemerged, but this time he was waving a phone in the air.
‘Got it!’ he said triumphantly.
‘Oh my God!’ Kayla squealed, jumping up and down. ‘You’re a lifesaver! Thank you so much!’ She threw her arms around him and a bolt of jealousy rocketed through me.
‘You’re welcome.’ Jake shot me a look which said this is awkward and gently lifted her arms away from his neck. ‘I’m not sure if dropping it in some rice will save it, but if it does, maybe try protecting it in one of those waterproof phone holders next time.’
‘Okay!’ she beamed, bashing away at the phone screen.
Jake took my hand and led me out of the sea and just like before, the sensation of his fingers curled around mine sent a zing of excitement zipping through my bloodstream.
Once we were safely back to shore, we looked at each other and burst out laughing.
‘I can’t believe that she cried for help because she dropped her goddamn cell!’ he sighed.
‘I can. Some people are obsessed. I’ve heard about people posing for selfies on the edge of cliffs and crazy shit like that. Some of them even die trying to get the perfect shot.’
‘It’s insane. We’ve forgotten how to just live in the moment.
There’s been so many times I’ve performed and seen people with their cells, watching everything from a screen because they’re filming, instead of just enjoying what’s happening right in front of them.
They miss most of the show because they’re too busy uploading shit to social media. ’
‘I agree. But I’m surprised to hear you say that, considering how much you love posting stuff on the ’gram.’
Jake froze and his Adam’s apple bobbed.
‘Yeah… I guess that makes me a hypocrite.’ His gaze dropped to the ground. ‘I-I just remembered, there’s something I need to do. I’d better go. I’ll catch you later. Okay?’
‘Okay,’ I said.
But that wasn’t entirely true.
Jake had opened up a lot to me this afternoon, but I still sensed there was something he was holding back.
I just had to hope that it wasn’t anything bad…