Chapter 29
HALLE
Me
SOS! If you’re not working or shagging, please call!
Although I didn’t want to interrupt her night, I really needed to talk to her.
Ever since Jake had left my room an hour ago, my head had been spinning faster than a washing machine.
My phone screen lit up and I quickly accepted the call.
‘Thank God!’ I answered.
‘What’s up, babe?’
‘I almost had sex with Jake,’ I blurted out.
Really, I should’ve started with the bombshell he’d dropped about not being at the hotel for love, but I was still trying to get my head around that part.
Baby steps.
‘To quote Lizzo: It’s About Damn Time!’ she shouted. ‘Wait. Did you say almost?’
‘Yeah.’ I filled Vanessa in on our almost kiss on the beach, the first kiss on the Pacific Wheel and what happened when we got to my room. ‘And then I told him about what Brett gave me…’
‘Wanker. I would’ve chopped his dick off. What did Jake say?’
I still couldn’t believe I’d told him everything. It’d brought back all of the painful memories and shame, but Jake’s reaction reminded me that I had no reason to feel embarrassed.
‘He was really kind. He said it didn’t change anything.’
‘Too right. It’d only be relevant if you were still infected.’
‘I know. I just… it’s more the worry that it’ll happen again. But I’m so tempted. He’s an amazing kisser and his dick is fucking huge.’
‘I knew it!’ she shouted. ‘You can just tell by looking at him.’
‘What? How?’ I scoffed. ‘It’s not like he walks around with a permanent boner or a metre stick with an arrow that says “this is how long my cock is”!’
‘He just gives off that big dick energy, y’know? Whenever I’ve seen him in interviews or performing, everything about him screams, I’ve got a whopper in my pants and I know exactly how to use it!’ Vanessa laughed.
‘He is very confident and I get the feeling he’d know what he was doing. The things he said to me were downright filthy!’
‘Spill!’ she said excitedly.
‘After we’d finished talking, I’d asked if he wanted to try again, and he said that if he had the chance, he’d spread me out on the bed not just to fuck me with his dick. He said he’d eat my pussy like it was his first meal in weeks!’
‘No! If a guy like him said that to me, I’d spread my legs wider than a gymnast doing the splits. He wouldn’t need to tell me twice! Why the hell didn’t you jump on that shit?’
‘He said now wasn’t the time. That I should think about whether I really wanted to do it: especially because…’ I paused. I still couldn’t believe what he’d told me. ‘Because he’s not looking for a relationship.’
‘Wait, what?’ Vanessa shouted, echoing the words that had flown out of my mouth when I heard his revelation. ‘Why the hell’s he at a matchmaking hotel if he doesn’t want one? That makes no sense.’
‘Exactly,’ I sighed.
‘And it’s not as if he would’ve come there for a hook-up. All he’d need to do is click his fingers and a swarm of women would come running. I don’t get it.’
‘That makes two of us. All he said was that his life was in the crapper right now and that it was complicated. I thought about pushing him to elaborate, but I could tell he didn’t want to. And if someone tells you something, believe them, right?’
‘Right.’
‘So if he said he can’t do a relationship, it didn’t make sense to beg him, y’know?’
‘I hear you.’
‘It’s just frustrating. I came here to find love.
That was the whole point. When I saw it was Jake, I thought he wasn’t right for me.
I’d wished I could’ve been set up with anyone but him.
But now, just when I discovered that I may have judged him too quickly and I am interested, he tells me he doesn’t want something long term. It’s fucked up.’
‘Shit. Sorry, babe.’
‘And the worst thing is, that maybe if I told Sammie he wasn’t here for a relationship, that might be grounds for finding me someone else.
But for some stupid reason, I don’t want another match.
I’m enjoying my time with Jake. And I want to sleep with him.
I know it’d be amazing. But if I did it, it’d be purely casual.
And I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t want to get hurt again. Aaargh! I’m so confused!’
‘It’s a tricky one.’ There was a long silence. I could hear the wheels in Vanessa’s head turning. Eventually, she spoke. ‘Wanna know what I think?’
‘Course I do!’
‘I think you should just go for it.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah. I know given your history, you don’t buy into the whole celebrity bullshit, but you and I both know that you had posters of Jake on your bedroom wall. How often do you get the chance to fuck your teenage celebrity crush? It’s literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.’
‘Maybe.’
‘And as well as being fit as fuck, from what you’ve told me, he actually seems like a caring guy.
So if you’re nervous about sleeping with someone again, he’d be a good choice.
He’ll be patient which is what you need.
Thirdly, the guy said he wants to feast on your pussy.
You already know how selfish some men can be, so if a man like him is offering to give you a tongue bath, jump on that shit. ’
‘A tongue bath?’ I laughed.
‘What? That’s what it is!’
‘Well, he did say that if I wanted to use him to get back into the swing of things, he’d be happy to help.’
‘Awww, what a saint!’ I could tell Vanessa was rolling her eyes. ‘I’m sure it’s not a hardship to get his dick wet. Anyway, doesn’t matter. I think you should.’
‘Part of me agrees. But the other part reminds me that I’m here for a relationship, not a hook-up.’
‘I know, hon, but it is what it is, right? And seeing as a relationship’s off the table and you don’t want to ask for a rematch and if you did there’s no guarantee that you’d even get one or a refund, you might as well make the most of your investment.’
‘Paying a few grand for a shag is a hefty investment.’
Not just financially, but emotionally too. Jake seemed honest and trustworthy. But if that was true, then why was he here if it wasn’t for love?
Then again, he could’ve just strung me along and pretended he wanted more. At least he’d been upfront, which had to count for something, right?
‘Some things are worth paying for!’ Vanessa cackled.
‘Think of yourself as the female equivalent of Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. Jake’s given you permission to use him as your personal prostitute, so if I was you, I’d accept his offer.
And if you shag him as much as you can, the money you shelled out won’t hurt as much when you divide up the cost per orgasm. It’ll be money well spent.’
‘We’ll see,’ I said, thinking what she said actually made some sense.
I did feel comfortable around Jake and I was attracted to him. It was just hard not to think about the consequences and all of the things that could go wrong.
‘Hon, I’ve gotta go, but think about it, yeah? And I’m sure I don’t have to remind you, but if you do anything, be careful.’
‘Don’t worry. If we do anything, I’ll ask him to wear three condoms.’
‘Funny! And if you’re worried about the crabs thing, maybe cover your fanny with a plastic bag with a peep hole in it for his dick, so nothing gets transferred to your bush.’
‘Not funny.’
‘Sorry! I couldn’t resist. Sometimes if you don’t laugh about things you’ll cry.’
‘Yeah. Anyway, thanks. I’ll keep you posted. Where you off to tonight?’
‘Just heading to a bar downtown.’
‘Okay, have fun.’
‘You too! Happy shagging!’ She let out a loud laugh before hanging up.
The thought of actually having sex with Jake caused ripples of desire to shoot through my body.
I’d never been into casual sex before, but maybe this was different.
I was going into this with my eyes wide open. I knew that it wouldn’t last. It was just an experience that I could enjoy.
Something to talk about when I was old and reflecting on my youth. Like Vanessa said, it wasn’t every day I got a chance to sleep with my teenage crush.
Plus, let’s face it, I rarely did anything exciting these days, so maybe Vanessa was right again when she’d said I should grab this opportunity to live my life.
Maybe there didn’t always have to be a permanent goal when dating.
Maybe sometimes just having fun and living in the moment was enough.
And maybe it was time to find out…