Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Emma
“ D id you think you could just sneak in here this morning and none of us would notice?”
I look up from the annual report I’m reading for one of the nonprofits I represent to see Molly standing in my doorway, arms crossed. I can tell she’s trying to look annoyed, but the look is somewhat…tempered by her bright pink sweater and polka dot leggings. I smother a laugh. Molly’s outfits for no client meeting days never disappoint.
“I didn’t sneak in. I walked in, just like the rest of you.”
“Walked in without saying hi, you mean.”
“I swear I didn’t mean to. I ran with Jeremy after Maddy got on the bus, so I got here later than you. You were all in your offices and I had a full inbox to deal with.”
“Ugh, fine. Well, I hope your inbox is clear and if it isn’t, it’ll have to wait. There are donuts in the kitchen, and you owe us a story.”
The second I walked out of the wedding with Jeremy on Saturday night, I knew they wouldn’t let Monday go by without demanding the details. I want to tell them. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since we left the hotel room, and my entire body is still buzzing. Jeremy wasn’t wrong when he said he had learned things in the eight years since we were last together. The man knows what he’s doing. But then again, so do I. I give a little smirk at the memory of the way he was a puddle for me in the shower.
“Okay, no. No fucking way. I know that face. That’s a Jeremy fucked the brains out of me face. Get your ass to the kitchen.”
Molly all but stomps her foot like a toddler having a tantrum, and this time I don’t smother my laugh. She really is my favorite human.
I take a quick look at my phone before I go down with Molly, happy to see the text I was waiting for.
Asher
We’re all good for this afternoon. Just come to the arena after you pick up Maddy. I’ll make sure Jeremy is there then make myself scarce. You’ll have the ice to yourself.
I smile down at my phone, thinking of my little act of subterfuge, and I type out a response.
Me
You’re the best.
Asher
Oh, I know. For what it’s worth, I think this is an awesome idea. It’s exactly what he needs.
Me
Same. See you later.
“Any time now, Em.”
“Jesus, keep your pants on, Molly. My sex life isn’t that interesting.”
Lies .
“Uh, yes, it is. Let’s go.”
She pulls me out of my office and down the stairs, straight to the kitchen.
“Finally!” Julie says as Molly and I walk in.
I’m surprised to see Hallie there sitting in her usual spot, and I rush over and hug her.
“Didn’t you just get married like two days ago? What are you doing here? Why aren’t you home having sex?”
“It may have been my wedding, but don’t think I missed that kiss on the dance floor and you and Jeremy walking out together. And I know Maddy stayed with Rachel and Steven Saturday night, so if you think I would miss a Monday morning sexy breakfast story, you’re crazy. And I have plenty of sex. I had sex just this morning, in fact. Twice.”
She gives us a satisfied grin and Molly groans.
“Am I really about to be the only one in this office not having regular, mind-blowing sex?”
“I guess that depends on what Emma is about to tell us,” Julie says. All three of them turn to me.
I shrug and give them a grin of my own as I walk around and take my seat, grabbing the box of donuts and the coffee cup marked with my name. “Sorry, Mol.”
“Well, you can comfort me with details. Leave nothing out.”
I take a sip of my French vanilla and pluck out a chocolate donut, thinking about how to start. I decide to just dive right in.
“It was incredible. Like, he was amazing eight years ago, but now? Holy shit. I didn’t know I could come that many times in a single night or that my body could bend in that many ways.”
I stop just short of mentioning our little Sunday morning shower interlude, wanting to keep that little detail between Jeremy and me. Pull the fire alarm Emma is not for public consumption. Even the public consisting of my best friends.
“So, the sex was good.” Hallie leans forward and props her chin in her hand. “I mean, of course it was; the two of you are the most gorgeous people in the world and you’ve been circling each other like predator and prey for years. But how do you feel? I mean, aside from wildly satisfied?”
I take a deep breath and give my best friends the thought that has been running through my mind nonstop since Sunday morning when Jeremy kissed me in the car like the world was ending before we went into the Parkers’ to pick up Maddy. It only got louder this morning when he pulled me off the trail on our run and kissed me against a tree, soft and slow, then pulled away, pressing his lips to my forehead and wrapping his arms around me like he couldn’t get close enough.
“I love him.”
Tears immediately spring to my eyes, and I don’t bother to wipe them away. Julie and Hallie both lean across the table to take my hands while Molly wraps an arm around me. Surrounded by their comfort, I let it all out.
“He’s the best person I know. He’s it for me. I think I’ve always known, but it’s different now. In just a couple of months, he inserted himself into my life in such a significant way I don’t think I could ever extricate him. I wouldn’t want to. The way he is with me, and watching him with Maddy? It’s huge and important. I’m used to huge feelings, but I’ve never felt like this. It scares me a little.”
Hallie squeezes my hand and looks at me with understanding.
“Tell us why.”
“He has so much inside of him that he doesn’t let anyone see. I mean, of course he does. You don’t grow up like he did and come out unaffected. He’s shown me little glimpses—probably more than he’s shown anyone else—but there’s more. I can see it. I understand him so well. Enough to know it’s going to be hard for him to give himself over to something like this completely. And thinking about that, and also Maddy only being with me temporarily when I love her so much, and her loving Jeremy so much too, has my head kind of a mess. I have so much love in me for both of them and they are clearly crazy about each other, and it’s a lot of messy feelings all around.”
I didn’t even completely realize this was how I was feeling, but now that I’m letting it out, it’s obvious I needed to talk. I’m grateful to my friends for knowing me well enough to give me this space.
Julie nods in understanding. “Feelings are messy, but they’re worth it. I watched the two of you at the wedding too, Em. The way Jeremy was looking at you? That man is head over heels for you. I think he always has been. I know he’s been through a lot, but I think you both have so much inside of you for each other, and it’s been building for so long, that you’ll be able to figure each other out. Just take one day at a time. Let it happen. Give him a soft place to land. When it’s right, there’s no rush.”
“And I know things with Maddy are uncertain,” Hallie says. “That’s the hardest part of being a foster parent. Her father may be able to care for her at some point, or another relative could step up. None of us know what’s going to happen. The only thing you can do is what you’re already doing. Love her as hard as you can for as long as you can. Give her happiness and fun and a safe place. And you are, Em. You’ve given her a whole family in such a short period of time. We all love her, and even though I know it’s different for you, if she does have to leave, we’ll all miss her. But we’ll get through it together.”
“She’s right, Em.” Molly squeezes my shoulder. “No matter what, you won’t go through any of this alone. You have a whole family on your side.”
I take a shaky breath and let it out.
“Thanks. I needed this talk. And the donuts.”
Feeling a little steadier, I remember the other thing I wanted to talk to them about.
“If it’s okay with you guys, I’m going to leave early today and pick Maddy up from school myself.”
“Of course it’s okay. We don’t punch a time clock, Em. That’s why we started this firm in the first place. So we could be the lawyers we wanted to be and also do life.”
I almost laugh at Julie’s statement, so different from what the Julie of a year ago would have said to me.
“What are you guys doing this afternoon? Everything okay?” Hallie asks.
“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine. Maddy and I have a secret mission at the hockey arena this afternoon.”
“A secret mission with a certain ex-hockey player?” Julie asks.
“Could very well be,” I say, not wanting to give anything away since no one else knows Jeremy hasn’t been on the ice since his injury. Or they know, but they haven’t put the pieces together to figure out why. I’m going to try and change that for him. Today. I may have told him he has to figure out his next career step on his own, but that doesn’t mean my seven-year-old sidekick and I can’t give him a little push in the right direction.
“We don’t get any more details?” Hallie asks.
“Nope.”
“Rude,” Julie says. “I’m asking Asher when I get home. He knows everything that goes on at that hockey arena now that he works for the foundation, and that man can’t keep a secret from me to save his life.”
I expect Molly to chime in, but when I look over at her, she’s staring down at her phone with a confused look on her face.
“You okay, Mol?”
“What?” Her head shoots up. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just got a weird email.”
“Weird how?” Asks Julie, looking concerned.
“It’s from a prospective client—that big tech company in town owned by the Montgomery family. They’re acquiring a start-up from Northern California and want some business succession planning.”
“They’re pretty famous, but that’s not unusual for you, is it?” I ask. Molly does extremely complex tax planning and represents a lot of well-known business owners who need estate planning for their business interests.
“No, it’s not that. It’s the name of the holding company for the startup they’re acquiring. Rory Industries.”
“What’s weird about that?” Hallie looks as confused as I am at why this is a big deal.
“It’s just…someone used to call me Rory. Like a nickname. It’s nothing. Just a bad memory. It was a long time ago. I was surprised to see the name, that’s all.” Molly shakes herself out of whatever thoughts she was stuck in.
“Okay,” Julie claps her hands together and reaches for another donut. “If we’re done with all the feelings and weird prospective client emails, I don’t think we’ve had nearly enough details about Saturday night Em, so tell us everything please.”
“What she said.” Hallie grabs a second donut of her own.
Molly looks at me and shrugs. “Sorry, Em, I have to agree. You distracted us with feelings and shit when what we really want to know is everything else. This one once told us she had a safe word and her head hanging off the bed.” Molly gestures to Julie who manages to look smug even with a mouthful of donut. “Can you beat that?”
I smirk at them all. “You know, I just bet I can.”
“Hi, Emma!”
Maddy flings herself into my car, red ponytail flying. She tosses her backpack across the seat and waves through the window to the group of girls she was standing with outside of school.
“What are you doing here? I thought Rachel was picking me up today.”
I smile back at her, everything inside of me warming at how happy she looks and how fast she’s making friends.
“I thought we could do something special this afternoon. I have a secret mission planned.” I turn and hand her a yogurt smoothie and a granola bar to eat on the way. The number one thing I’ve learned since being a pseudo-parent is to feed the child as soon as possible after school to avoid a complete restraint collapse.
Maddy’s eyes go wide. “What is it?” she whispers.
I spent some time today thinking about how to present this to Maddy, and I decided to tell her the truth. Or an age appropriate version of it.
I put the car in drive and navigate out of the school pick-up loop while I tell her about it.
“Remember how Jeremy told you about how he got hurt when he played hockey a long time ago?”
I glance in the rearview mirror to see Maddy nod. “That’s how he got the scars on his leg.”
“That’s right. And he hasn’t gone ice skating since his accident.”
“Why not?”
This is the tricky part, but I think even at seven, Maddy is going to understand this better than some adults. “I think it makes him sad. He loved hockey a lot, and when he couldn’t play anymore, getting on the ice made him miss it so much. But I think he misses skating too, so I thought maybe we could go skating with him. Just the three of us. We could try and make ice skating fun for him again.”
Maddy screws up her face in concentration, her eyebrows drawing together while she thinks.
“Like, we could maybe give him some good memories and he’ll think of those when he skates instead of the bad ones?”
I nod at her. “Exactly. And since you’ve been doing so well at your skating lessons, you’re the perfect person for this mission.”
She gives a serious nod. “We can do it.”
Ten minutes later we pull up at the arena. The team is on the road and there’s no after school camp today, so Asher’s Range Rover and Jeremy’s Jeep are the only cars in the otherwise deserted lot.
I get out of the car and walk around to open Maddy’s door. She gets out and looks around.
“I’ve never seen it so empty. Where is everyone?”
I take her hand, and we start walking towards the entrance.
“It’s just us today. We have the ice all to ourselves.”
“The whole thing?”
“You bet. Let’s see if we can get Jeremy to come skating with us, and then we’ll go out for dinner. How does that sound?”
“Can we have pizza?”
“Anything you want. I’m surprised you didn’t say tacos though. That’s been your favorite lately, just like me.”
“I love tacos, but only the ones Jeremy makes at home.”
My heart squeezes at the way she says home, and how she includes Jeremy in that too. It’s all I want—for the three of us to make a home.
“They are definitely the best.”
“They are. And I like when he lets me help. He said one day I’ll be able to do it all by myself.”
“You definitely will. You’re turning into a really good chef.”
“There he is!”
We get to the arena door, and through the glass we can see Jeremy and Asher standing inside, Jeremy standing almost aggressively forward, his back to the arena.
As soon as I push open the door, they both look over at the noise. The grin that spreads over Jeremy’s face when he sees us has my heart slamming against my ribs and butterflies rioting in my stomach.