Chapter 16 #2
“We do.” Carter laid her head on my shoulder, and everything felt right in the world. I was pretty sure if we could stay like this forever, nothing would ever hurt me. “I don’t ever want to do anything that could hurt you or hurt us.”
“As long as we keep talking, I think we’ll be okay. Communication really is so important.”
“You’re right.” Carter tilted her head so her lips could meet mine. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, babe. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Jax. Thanks for being the greatest gift ever.”
Our conversation might not have actually gotten us anywhere, but as we crawled into bed and fell asleep, I felt completely content. I knew no matter what happened, we’d be okay, because we’d always have each other.
***
Luckily, Christmas Day went by without any major mishaps, and after a much-needed relaxing New Year’s Eve at home with Carter and her grandma, I was feeling refreshed and ready for the new year.
The nice thing about January was that it was a time when everything slowed down.
I knew that drove a lot of people nuts, and I admit I used to be one of those people, but I was ready for things to slow down.
I didn’t even care if it felt like January itself lasted longer than the whole past year. I kind of hoped it did.
On one slow night in particular when I got home from the cafe early and was waiting for Carter to finish up with her work, I decided to clean out the closet.
We had donated most of her mama’s clothes, but the bottom was still filled with a bunch of other boxes and such, which were keeping us from being able to store much in it.
Whether we ended up moving here permanently or not, it would be nice to make this place completely ours, at least for the time being.
The first box I pulled out was filled with cheerleading trophies and medals.
On top of all of that was a crown, which I knew was from Carter’s mama winning homecoming queen.
One time when Carter was on a business trip in New York, her grandma proudly told me about how both her daughter and granddaughter had been homecoming queens.
I put that box to the side with a note to ask Mama Charlie about it. There was no way I was going to throw out those keepsakes without asking her first. The next few boxes I pulled were filled with clothes and had the word donate written on them, so I figured those were safe to give away.
Tucked in the back corner, almost completely out of view, was a shoebox. I crawled on all fours and reached out to get it. When I pulled it out, it was completely covered in dust, which meant it had been ignored (or forgotten about) for a very long time.
I sat on the bed next to Carter, and opened it up. I thought my eyes might pop out of my head when I saw what was inside. The box was filled with tons of nicely folded notes. I looked at Carter and was happy to find she had just shut her laptop, meaning she was done with work for the day.
I held the box toward her, so she could see inside. “Do you think all of these are from your mom?”
Carter squinted at the notes as if she was trying to use X-ray vision to see through them.
“I don’t know. I’m actually not sure if my mama was still living here when she and my mom started dating.
I know they met here, but I honestly don’t know if my mama was only staying here for their family reunion or if she actually lived here at the time.
Either way, wouldn’t they be letters if they were from my mom?
If my mama was living here and my mom was in New York, they wouldn’t be handing off notes. ”
Now, I was really intrigued. I wiggled my eyebrows at Carter. “Want to find out?”
“It kind of feels like an invasion of privacy, plus what if I find out something I don’t want to know?”
“That’s true.” I reached out to put the lid back on the shoebox, but Carter grabbed my hand.
“Maybe you could read one or two of them.”
I poked her in the side. “I thought it was an invasion of privacy,” I teased.
“My moms are pretty open with us. I bet if we asked, they would tell us anything we wanted to know. This way, we save my mama the awkwardness of having to explain stories from her past life.”
I nodded as if what she was saying made perfect sense. “It does seem like the noble thing to do.”
If I thought my eyes might pop out when I found the notes; they were in even more danger as I read.
Dear Charlie,
I’m not even sure where to start with this note.
I’m still in shock over that kiss, but I want you to know that doesn’t mean I regret it.
I just never thought I would be the type of girl to kiss another girl, especially after dating your brother for so long.
That kiss definitely showed me why things didn’t work out between me and Jamie.
Nothing we did together caused even half of the reaction to my body as our kiss did.
All I can think about is kissing you again (and honestly, doing so much more than that).
It’s strange. I was with your brother for so long and always felt relieved that he didn’t push me to have sex, but with you…
omg, Charlie, what have you done to me? Do you think this means that we’re…
you know? I hope not. I don’t think my parents would ever be okay with that.
And your mom? I’m pretty sure she already has me and Jamie’s wedding planned out.
Idk why I’m rambling. I’m not even sure what the point of this note is or if I’ll ever find the courage to give it to you. I guess if I ever do, it means I’m brave enough to ask this question… Do you want to do it again? We don’t have to do more than kiss… unless you want to :)
Okay, I’m done. I’m sure I will NOT be giving this to you, but if I do, try not to laugh at me.
<3 Mary Beth
I dropped the note as if it was on fire, then rubbed my eyes to make sure I had read that right. “Umm, Carter, what is the name of your mama’s friend who owns the Christmas Tree Farm?”
“Um…” Carter snapped her fingers. “It’s, like, two names. Maggie something? Beth? Bethany? Shoot. Why can’t I remember?”
“Mary Beth?”
Carter pointed her finger at me excitedly. “That’s right! Why did you ask if you already knew?”
“I didn’t know per se. I just thought it sounded familiar.”
“Okay…” Carter’s voice trailed off as if she thought I was crazy. “Why are you asking?”
“Do you actually want to know?” I waved the piece of paper I was holding. “Because it has to do with this note.”
Carter sighed. “You know you can’t bring it up and not tell me, so just say it already.”
“I think Christmas Tree Lady might have been your mama’s gay awakening. If not, she was definitely Mary Beth’s gay awakening.”
“Is that what the note says?”
Carter reached out to grab it, but I pulled it away and held it against my chest. “Are you sure you want to look at it?”
“Does it talk about them having sex or something?”
“No. It’s very G-rated.”
“Then let me see it.” Carter pulled the note from my hands before I could protest any further.
Her lips moved as she read the note, and once she was done, she looked back at me and then to the box. “Do you think all of those are from Mary Beth?”
“If they are, I’d say they did a lot more than kiss.” I laughed as I thought about everything written in that note. “Did you know your mama hooked up with your brother’s girlfriend?”
Carter put her head in her hands and laughed. “I did not. At least, it sounds like they were broken up at the time.”
I looked down at all of the notes in the box. “I’m invested now. I need to see where this story leads.”
“Please continue to share the G-rated version with me. I’m invested too, but not that invested.”
I pulled out every note and confirmed that they were all, indeed, from Mary Beth. After studying them a little closer, I realized the date was written on the top right corner of each one. Thank you, Mary Beth.
I read through them, and it wasn’t long before I really had to censor what I was telling Carter.
It turned out, Mary Beth and Carter’s mama didn’t just kiss.
They shared their first time (and many times after that) together.
From what I could gather, it didn’t seem like they were ever actually a couple, but if I had to guess, I’d say Mary Beth definitely wanted them to be.
I was obviously only getting one side of the story, but I had a feeling Carter’s mama saw her as a hook-up and nothing more.
“So, what you’re saying is that my mom was a player,” Carter questioned when I voiced that thought out loud.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being a player. Some of the best of us are. It just takes meeting the right person to break us away from that.”
“Well, you’re welcome,” Carter said sarcastically.
“Those days are long behind me. Don’t worry.
” I lay down on the bed and pulled on Carter’s sleeve to encourage her to lay down with me.
“Just to prove how much of a player I’m NOT anymore, I would like to nap completely clothed right now.
No wandering hands or lingering kisses.” I lifted both hands in the air. “I promise.”
“But what if I want wandering hands?” Carter asked as she ran her own across my stomach.
“I think that could be arranged.”
***
As much as I loved my time at home with Carter, I also adored being at the cafe. It seemed like almost every day, I met someone new who told me how much this place meant to them. If I wasn’t able to buy it from Ethan, I really hoped he was able to find someone who would keep it as a safe space.
When I heard the bell ring to signal the door opening, I looked up to see Tim walking in.
It was weird for him to be here on a Wednesday morning when he should be at school, and what was even more strange was that none of his crew was with him.
I gave him a giant wave. “There he is. Where’s your posse? ”
Tim looked around and shrugged. “They’re all at school. I couldn’t convince anyone to ditch with me.”
I walked out around the counter, grabbed Tim’s hand, and pulled him over to a table to sit down with me. I tried my best to give him the type of stern look a parent would give, but I obviously didn’t have much experience with that yet. “And why are you skipping school?”
Tim stared down at the table, and when he looked back up at me, there were tears in his eyes. “Max broke up with me.”
I never knew my heart could break over high school love, but it actually felt like it was. I reached out and placed my hand on top of Tim’s. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened?”
Tim shrugged. “He told me he needs to focus on his studies. Apparently, I’m a distraction. The thing is, he could have talked to me about it, and I would have backed off. He didn’t need to jump right into dumping me.”
In my experience, people who jumped right into the breaking up part rather than trying to talk things out, had more than one reason for the breakup.
I wasn’t going to say that to the heartbroken kid sitting in front of me, though.
“Well, maybe if it was a rash decision, he’ll soon realize what a big mistake he made.
And if not, at least you and I know how dumb he must be to give up someone like you. ”
Tim shook his head “Maybe he’s right though. Maybe I am too much.”
I squeezed Tim’s hand. “Just because you’re too much for him doesn’t mean that you’re too much. The person you’re meant to be with will accept you just the way you are. Trust me.”
Tim slowly lifted his head to look at me. “It sounds like you have experience with that.”
I tried to bite back my smile as I thought about Carter.
I didn’t want to rub it in how happy I was when he was at his lowest. “Yes. My girlfriend is pretty perfect. She’s smarter than me, more organized than me, has her shit much more together than I ever will, but you know what?
She accepts me just as I am. Honestly, she wouldn’t want me any other way.
That’s the type of person you need, and trust me, you have plenty of time to find them.
I’m much older than you, and I didn’t find my person until three years ago. ”
Tim groaned. “I don’t want to wait until I’m old to find my person.”
I decided not to take that personally since I knew he was hurting right now. “You might not have to. I’m just telling you not to give up. Plus, in the meantime, you can have plenty of fun with the wrong people.”
That finally got Tim to smile. He laughed as he wiped away his tears. “You’re a terrible influence. You know that, right? You’re not like most grownups I know.”
“Thank you.” I put a hand over my chest and bowed my head. “I take that as a compliment.”
The smile dropped from Tim’s face once again. “I just don’t know what to do. I know we’re young, and you probably think I’m stupid for feeling this way, but I really thought he was my person. I figured we were going to be those high school sweethearts that actually lasted.”
“And maybe you are. Or maybe you’re not.
Either way, you’re going to be okay.” My face lit up when an idea popped into my head.
“You should talk to my girlfriend. She was a few years older than you when her first love broke up with her, and she was devastated. She also thought they were meant to be together forever. Turns out, things had to fall apart so she could find something even better.” I put my arms out and waved my hands, and that made Tim laugh again.
“I’d love to talk to her.”
“Perfect. Next time you’re both at the cafe, I’ll make sure that happens.”
It was too bad Carter almost never came to the cafe.
It sucked because she should have so much more time to come since she was working from home, but she was there much less than she had been in New York.
Of course, she had her grandma to take care of, but I could tell even her grandma wished she would get out of the house more.
I was pretty sure if I could show her how special the cafe is that she might change her mind about Maryland, but I also didn’t want to push her into something that didn’t actually make her happy.
I guess only time could tell what was going to happen.
Good thing I was very excellent at being patient when it came to Carter Miller-Cooper.