Chapter 4
Chapter Four
D espite Margot’s best-laid plans for a day off—the first day off she’d set aside for herself since last September—she was up and at the door of the flower shop by six thirty the following morning, pinching her coffee cup between her chest and forearm as she turned the keys in the lock. The world had changed. As she stepped into the warm embrace of her little shop, she heard the frantic footsteps of Gabby coming up behind her. “Margot! What are you doing here?” There was a smile in her voice but also a great deal of fatigue. Margot guessed Matt and Gabby had stayed up a little (or a lot) too late, drinking wine, dancing in the kitchen, and making whispered promises about the future. Margot, who hadn’t slept a wink, couldn’t turn to look at her. She knew she looked like a wreck.
“I won’t be here long,” she explained to Gabby.
She could feel Gabby’s eyes on her as she turned on all the lights and pulled open the back door to let a draft of chilly fresh air in. The flower delivery was set to arrive around seven or seven thirty, depending on Boston traffic. Because it was February 15th and the day after Valentine’s Day, they had very few orders—mostly birthdays and anniversaries. Maybe they’d have a few odd stragglers dipping in for quick birthday presents or dinner flowers. It brightened Margot’s spirits to remember that people still considered the minute details of their ordinary lives. They still wanted to beautify their dinner tables. They still wanted to remind those they loved they loved them with the special gift of a bouquet—even on such a boring and nothing day as February 15th.
“Other people’s normal lives” felt so far away from her own.
Gabby removed her gloves slowly and furrowed her brow at Margot. Margot ignored her and turned on the music, reaching for a broom to sweep the already swept floor.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re here?” Gabby asked finally.
Margot flinched, searching her mind for excuses.
“Come on, Margot.” Gabby sighed, rapping her knuckles on the glass counter. “You were so excited about your first day off in months. You told me you weren’t going to leave your bed till three p.m. You told me you were going to order sushi delivery.”
Margot felt as though somebody else had been excited about all that.
“Did something happen with Pete?” Gabby asked.
Margot let out an uncomfortable laugh.
“Oh no,” Gabby said, her shoulders slumping.
“It’s not about that,” Margot hurried to say.
“But you broke up with him. On Valentine’s Day?”
“Actually, he broke up with me,” Margot said.
Gabby’s eyes widened. It was a first, at least since Gabby had started working in the flower shop. “I can’t believe he broke up with you on Valentine’s Day!” Her hand was in a fist.
“Don’t worry about it,” Margot said. “He realized we weren’t a good match. I’ve known that for a while.”
Gabby licked her lips, which was a habit Margot knew she was trying to break. “What did he say?”
“He said I was impossible to know. Not a lie.” Margot rubbed her eyes and smeared makeup across her cheeks. She couldn’t care. Biting her tongue, she willed herself to say what she’d come here to say. She willed herself to enact the change the world required of her.
For twenty years, everything in her life has been more or less the same.
Was she brave enough to change?
She wasn’t sure.
“Gabby, I have to go out of town for a little while,” Margot said.
Gabby straightened her spine. “That’s great,” she said finally, shaking her head. “When was the last time you went on vacation? Oh, you should go somewhere sunny and warm. Somewhere with a beach. Maybe you could even meet someone there.”
People who were coupled always wanted single people to meet someone. Like that was the only thing we were put on earth to do.
Margot willed herself not to roll her eyes. “It’s not a vacation. It’s a family thing. A kind of, um, problem that I have to fix.”
Just like with Pete, Margot had never mentioned her family to Gabby. Gabby looked suddenly mystified and smacked her hand over her mouth. “Oh. I’m so sorry I said that thing about going on vacation, for goodness’ sake. How awful. Are you okay?”
Margot grimaced. Was she okay? Had she even had time to think about her own okay-ness? “I’m fine. I will be, at least.”
But she wasn’t sure about that. She’d never taken more than a few days off from the flower shop since she opened it. She’d hardly left Boston since she’d moved here. She’d never craved enormous vacations. She’d never craved stepping so far out of the beautiful life she’d built.
“I need you to run the store while I’m gone,” she said. “You’ve been here long enough. You know how everything works.”
Gabby looked floored. She looked as though Margot was asking her to adopt her child. In a sense, Margot was—but only temporarily.
“I’d love to,” Gabby said, her voice a whisper. “Wow. It’s an honor.”
“I’m going to call Stephanie later this morning and see if she’ll help out,” Margot said, speaking of the woman Gabby had replaced, a woman who’d had a couple of babies and needed to step away from the shop. Now that her babies were older, in school and daycare, Margot guessed Stephanie could work fifteen to twenty hours a week, filling in for Gabby’s shifts as Gabby took over Margot’s.
“I won’t be far,” Margot went on. “I can come up to the city whenever you need me.”
She hoped that was true, at least.
“You’re going to Nantucket, then,” Gabby said, looking appropriately confused.
When Margot had first mentioned to Gabby that she’d been born in Nantucket, Gabby had rattled off countless stories of her childhood vacations there, where a friend of her father owned a beautiful gray-sided house on the sands. It hadn’t taken Gabby long to realize Margot didn’t want to talk about Nantucket. The mere mention of it brought a greenish sheen to Margot’s face.
“Tell me what to do, boss,” Gabby said now. “Let’s get you out of Boston as soon as we can.”
Margot bit her tongue to keep from weeping. When was the last time she’d let anyone take control? When was the last time she’d let anyone help her?
Twenty years ago , she thought. Do I know how to let go?
As much as she wanted to resist, she had to find a way.