CADEN #4
“Why the hell didn’t I think to start the bets?” he thumped himself in the head playfully. “I told you, Caden. Didn’t I tell you? Same story every time.”
At that moment, I thought Beckett was going to rip him apart. He leaped toward Sawyer, but wasn’t quick enough for the Bugs Bunny of ice hockey. “Don’t you dare tell a soul about this,” Beckett growled.
“Whoa, easy, Captain,” Sawyer snapped, evading Beckett’s clutch.
My temper boiled and I jumped at my frightened lover, pulling him back. “Jesus, fuck, Beckett. Give the guy a minute.”
Sawyer’s humor disappeared as he looked at Beckett like he was seeing a deranged man with a knife. “What’s your problem?”
“It’s complicated,” I said tersely, so that Beckett wouldn’t.
“If you wanna keep it a secret, just say so,” Sawyer said, more to Beckett than to me. “I don’t need your fists to remind me, thank you very much.”
“What are you doing out here? Stalking us?” Beckett sounded unhinged, so I didn’t blame Sawyer for pulling back.
“You’re nowhere near that interesting,” he said calmly. Then something battled on his face. He weighed it, then spilled the truth. “I’ve got a secret of my own.”
My heart dropped. “You didn’t,” I told him almost pleadingly. “Don’t tell me you did.”
Sawyer blinked. “Did what?”
“Cheat on Noah,” I accused him. An abrupt sob of despair and disappointment nearly choked me. I used anger to combat it. “I swear to God, Sawyer, I’ll help him dispose of your dick when he cuts it off.”
Sawyer laughed out loud with apparent relief. “Cheat? Christ, Caden. I would never. Not on Noah. Do you even know us at all? I’m moving in with him.”
Beckett and I gaped. The reality around us was shifting way too quickly. “Wh-what?” That was Beckett.
“You’re moving out of the house?” I asked, dumbfounded.
Sawyer shrugged. “Yeah, we found a place. It’s right around the corner.
I spend most nights in his room anyway. We figured we needed a bigger place.
We spent this month searching for a place nearby and we got lucky.
I’ve been sleeping there the last few nights.
I have been waiting to grow a pair and finally tell you all. ”
“Why wouldn’t you tell us?” I asked.
Beckett was still stiff after getting caught. I could feel his anxiety in my bones. It worried me.
Sawyer looked between us, then away. “I guess I don’t want to lose you guys.”
“Other guys have places of their own,” Beckett pointed out.
Sawyer shot him an accusing glare. “And how close are they to us? Sure, we’re the same team, but we are the core. I’m worried that I’m basically leaving my team, but I love Noah so fucking much, you can’t even imagine.” He looked at me, then at Beckett. “Or maybe you can.”
Both Beckett and I squirmed. That was one hell of a statement.
I didn’t want to touch it with a hockey stick.
But Beckett was quicker this time and he shifted topics.
“You’re not leaving the core, asshole, unless you want to.
” Then, more quietly, he added: “And unless you speak about what you saw, then I’ll have to do the cutting and disposing myself. ”
“Drama queen,” Sawyer said, probably just to see if he could flare Beckett’s temper further.
Beckett just narrowed his eyes and scowled.
“Seriously, don’t tell anyone,” I cautioned Sawyer. “We don’t…” I paused for a moment. It was weird to even say ‘we’ for us. “We don’t want that.”
“Hey, you don’t have to worry about me. It’s not my secret to tell.” He shot us both a significant look. “But you can’t tell Avery I’ve moved out. He’ll be gutted.”
Beckett scoffed. “You sure Avery would be gutted? It’s more likely that he’ll exhale a little louder when you break it to him.”
“Same thing,” Sawyer said, waving his hand off. “Anyway, mum’s the word. And I’ll leave you now to dry-hump in broad daylight, discreet as you are.” He saluted with one finger and swaggered away.
Beckett gave me a worried look, bit his lips, and then tilted his head in the direction of our campus. We moved slowly while Sawyer sped off. “Do you think we can trust him to keep quiet?” he asked.
I ignored the pang of hurt that he would be so desperate to keep me a secret because I sort of understood him. I wasn’t happy with it, but I understood. And I wouldn’t pressure him even if the prospect of returning to the closet went against every instinct in my body.
Live in the moment, I reminded myself. “Sawyer is loyal to a fault. He’s probably already telling Noah, but aside from that, he won’t betray us.”
Beckett pursed his lips for a while. “Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.”
I laughed at the sight of Beckett quoting Benjamin Franklin in such a grave voice. My secret lover muttered to himself but finally nodded as if he had reached a conclusion.
“I’ll keep a watch on him,” he said.
I nodded my assent. There was no persuading Beckett otherwise. And we had only just had one conversation without killing each other or fucking each other’s brains out. Whatever this thing was, I wanted it to keep its course.
There would be enough time to worry later.